It was the longest few hours of my life.  The flight was only a few hours long, but it felt like a lifetime. 

Finally, I was in the hospital being taken through to see her.  The doctor had explained to me what had happened.  She had been stabbed in the stomach.  The blade seemed to have been short and it nicked her intestine but had missed everything else. 

‘So, she could have children?’ I asked the doctor surprised at my own question. 
‘Yes, there is no medical reason she shouldn’t,’ the doctor told me with a small smile.    They got in there quickly and stitched her up and she would be perfectly fine. 
He told me she had been sedated from the operation but had woken up already and gone back to sleep.  She was likely to be in and out of sleep for a while.  She was being observed to make sure that she didn’t rip her stitches or her intestine tore.  He finished by telling me all being well she could go home in a couple of days.

She was in a private room in the hospital.  I walked in as calmly as I could, but as soon as I saw her, laying there in the darkened room, hooked up to machines it killed me.  I broke down silently as I sat on the chair next to the bed and reached out for her hand. I took it in mine and her long slim fingers, kissed her palms, and thanked God she was ok. 

I still had her hand buried in mine when she opened her eyes at me sluggishly.

‘Hi,’ she croaked feebly. 

‘Hi Baby girl,’ I croaked back.  I was overcome with emotion at her waking up and speaking, the tears rolled freely down my face.

She blearily smiled at me.  ‘Did you hear, someone tried to kill me,’ she was grinning ever so slightly. 

‘This is really not the time for jokes’ I cried back but a smile formed slightly on my face.  How was she able to make a joke now? ‘I’m sorry this happened to you’ I moved myself to sit on the edge of the bed and her face as she innocently looked up at me. 

‘It’s not your fault Taemin. There are crazy people everywhere.’ She told me drowsily.

I smiled through my guilt.  I couldn’t help feeling like it was. If I didn’t do what I did yesterday she wouldn’t be here now.  It is that simple.  A small sob escaped me as I struggled to compose myself.

‘Hey, hey, stop it, I can’t be comforting you.  I’m the one with the hole in my stomach,’ she was making more jokes about this.  Her attempt at making the situation lighter seemed to have the opposite effect on me and fuelled my sobbing.

‘I’m sorry, I just . . .  I can’t believe this happened to you.  I thought you were dead when they told me.  I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you…, I wasn’t here when you woke up…, I came as soon as I could, the first flight out . . . ‘I couldn’t speak anymore.

‘Shhhh, shhh,’ she cooed trying to console me.  ‘Don’t cry, don’t think like this, it’s ok, I’m ok.’

‘You’re . . .  in . . .  a . . .  hospital’ every word was difficult to get out.

‘Taemin, you need to stop right now,’ her voice rose a tad through the hoarseness, but it seemed to take her all the effort she had.  

I looked at her face, she was clearly exhausted and it shook me up enough to try to regain control.  I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.  ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ I managed.

I held her hand tightly and continued to her hair.  ‘How does it feel?’ I asked her when the tears had finally stopped flooding my face.

‘Kind of sore,’ she mumbled.  ‘I’m sleepy from what they gave me.’ Her eyelids drooped a little as if to highlight her statement.

‘Sleep baby, sleep now.  I’ll be here when you wake up.’ I kissed her forehead as gently as I could as she closed her eyes slowly and went back t