For the next month, she did not see Chanyeol at all.  I was busy with the repackaged album coming out and promoting the new song.

Living together with Jonghyun wasn’t so bad, except he frequently complained about the noises he could hear from our bedroom, to which Jen told him simply, ‘stop listening.’  Whenever he complained in front of the others Kibum would make a face, Jinki was usually not listening, or laughing and Minho would tease me that he didn’t realise I could fully satisfy a woman.  This often earnt him getting a beating from Jen while I egged her on.

I had noticed a slight change in her mood.  She was not seeing Chanyeol or anyone from Exo much at all, although if anyone came to see me or her she would not turn them away.  It seemed she was just not searching them out.  However, I could not fail to notice she did not seem to smile as much, or laugh as much.  

I had an idea in the back of my mind that she was lonely, and it both frustrated me and worried me that I was not able to stop her feeling this way.  I knew my schedule was crazy meaning I spent less and less time with her, and though she never complained I could see it taking its toll on her. 

I started to get really worried I come home one day and heard her playing the piano.  She did not play the piano but I knew Chanyeol had been teaching her.  Which I was a little annoyed about, she could have asked me to teach her. I was surprised, I never heard her play before, she always said she was too shy to let anyone actually hear her play. 

Jonghyun was not in the dorm.  She was alone and the music was coming from the bedroom.  Slowly I made my way down the halls and opened the bedroom door slowly. Her back was to me, she had moved my keyboard to face out of the window.  She didn’t stop playing when I entered telling me she had not heard me enter the room. 

I stood in the doorway for a while listening.  It was not a song I recognised, it was new and it was sad.  I wondered idly if she had composed this, or somehow if Chanyeol had composed it for her and taught her to play it.

She stopped and sighed, evidently, she had missed a note.  She sighed out loud again and said, ‘I know you’re there.’

She turned around shyly, looking up at me through her eyelashes, as I made my way over to her. 

‘If you knew I was here why didn’t you stop?’ I asked her grinning.

‘I was in the zone, then you made me think too hard and I tripped over the notes.’ She said sadly, turning her face away again towards the keys.

‘I’ve never heard you play before.’ I said as if it was a question, but I didn’t know how I expected her to respond. 

‘I’m not very good’ she said very matter-of-factly, however I saw her embarrassment.  She shrugged embarrassment off so easily it was hard to notice if you didn’t know her.  She never got embarrassed easily, but when she did you knew it was because it meant something to her.  I enjoyed seeing this vulnerable side of her.  

I sat on the edge of the bed as she began playing again.  The same sad tune.

‘Did Chanyeol teach you that?’ I asked trying to keep my voice even.

‘No’ She said simply.  She didn’t elaborate.  So, without thinking I pushed her for more answers.   

‘But he was teaching you.’  My tone of voice was changing and I couldn’t help it.  

‘He was,’ she said very, very quietly still not elaborating.

‘Where did you learn it then?’

‘I didn’t learn it, Tae,’ she sighed ‘I made it up.’ She banged the keys hard on the keyboard in frustration.

‘Ok, I’m sorry’ I told her. But I was impressed.  She had managed to come up with a beautiful melody on her own, when a few months ago she didn’t even play a musical instrument that I knew of.

‘I don’t know what comes next’ she moaned in frustration and turned off the keyboard.

‘Don’t worry, it will come,’ I told her, ‘I didn’t know you…, you were capable of composing,’ I said unsure of the right words to use.

She turned to look at me, suddenly her face transformed into a mischievous smile taking my breath away. 

‘Neither did it’ she giggled shyly.  ‘I just started to play and it sort of came out.’

I felt relieved that she was sharing with me.  I hadn’t realised it but I was nervous to talk to her about this.  It was like getting to know her all over again.  Somehow what happened with Chanyeol had caused some unspoken barrier between us.  I didn’t know how to get back to the ‘us’ I was used to.

While, I was happy that she had not spent more time with Chanyeol, as I was still feeling pretty angry about it whenever I stopped to think too long, I couldn’t help getting the feeling she would have been happier if she could see him.  It was a bitter seed growing in my mind I was failing to control.

We had no