6. I miss you

         The small party was going as well as any other time we had all met together. It was maybe too good we decided to head to the club when midnight rang and we weren’t close to sleeping. We safely took public transports, already tipsy from our before party and stumbled into a club, spliting as some headed to the bar and others to the dancefloor. I went to the later, melting into the crowd right away and even dancing with some strangers as well as with my friends. A pair of hands grabbed my hips and I lightly grew scared before said hands made me collided with a firm chest and Jungkook’s scent invaded my surroundings. I instantanetely relaxed in his hold, enjoying the feeling of being loved against him and the way we swayed in sync. Hoseok screamed when he spotted him and immediately danced in front of us, soon joined by an excited Sungjae and a surprisingly wasted Hyuk who was yelling nonsense. At some point, we saw all the group pass in front of us without understanding whatever they were saying but still laughing together. Taehyung even slapped Jungkook’s before pecking me and running away. This time I was the only one laughing. Eventually, I turned around to face him, now witnessing the loving smile he was sporting and hugged him for some minutes, before Wheein arrived and made me jump with her to a song, effectively putting some distance between Jungkook and me but none of us were mad at her intervention. It made the other join and we danced together again.

         Thirsty, I tried my best to leave for the bar. Once I reached it, I had to scream to the waiter, making him laugh as he was used to the blasting music anyway. When I reached for my money, he shaked his head and pointed at someone at the other hand of the bar : Jeon Jungkook. I hadn’t even noticed him getting away from us. I went near him and sat on one of his leg.

“Thank you for the drink...”, I trailed off, turning a little so that I can run my finger along his collarbones

“There’s many way you could thank me...”, he stared with hungry eyes

“Is that so...”, I breathed in his ear before standing up with a smirk, feining going back to dance but he reached for my back pocket, tugging at it to make me sit down again

“Isn’t it the scene where you’re supposed to bring me to a more intimate place ?”

         My eyes shifted between his eyes and his lips too many times and I took his hand on mine so that he would follow me. We went to the lockers and left the place. Jungkook stopped a taxi while I sent a text to Yoongi who was the less wasted one and we hopped on, heading to my rented appartment.

         I winced at some weight on my back, eventually openning my eyes to close them a second later, feeling attacked by the sun. Some growls echoed in the room and I tried to settle on my back, pushing away the bodies surrounding me.

“In my memories, we didn’t do an ”, I murmured with a sore throat, mouth stuck to what I hoped was Jungkook’s chest. The first answer I got was a pair of arms tightening around my waist and I moved closer to the body with a content sigh

“I didn’t have in forever”, whined what I recognised as Hwasa’s sleepy voice, immediately identifying her as the one who was sprawled on my back a minute ago

“Well, some of us obviously did have fun yesterday”, answered Taehyung from the other side of the bed and my eyes snapped open when I felt his hand from Jungkook’s side

“What the heck are you even doing here !?”, I sat up and fell back down when a vivid electrifying passed through my back. Protective arms circled me yet again and I comfortably settled, nibbling at the shoulder to not miserably sob

“Why don’t you ever call me when there’s a cuddling session ?”, the door openned violentely to a pouty Wheein who jumped on the bed, effectively knocking the air out of Hwasa and I’s lungs, “I want to hug cute Jiminie too”

“You’ll have plenty of time to...”, finally resonated Jungkook’s voice before he detached himself from us and sat on the side of the bed, fishing some clothes to not leave the sheets completely

         We all watched him as he solemnly stood up and went out of the room. No one dared saying anything else, understanding clearly what he was implying with his last sentence. Hwasa was the one to push us away, leading everyone to the main room where some luggages were already closed. We quickly ate before deciding to clean the house and finish packing our stuffs.

“I didn’t mean to snap, sorry”, I threw a glance behind me just in time to see Jungkook laying back on the bed

“It’s okay”, Taehyung answered in my behalf and we both glared at him, silently asking to shut up, “Hey, I’m trying to raise the mood”, he said, raising his arms in the air and goin back to his business

“Help me close this ?”, I simply smiled and he shaked his head before making his way to me

         He ended up helping everyone, also arranging the house, and came with us to the station, where the rest of the band was supposed to meet us. Seokjin and Taehyung, again, jumped into each other, dramatically fake-crying. Hoseok was actually crying at the scene, leaving us in awe and at a total lost for words. After an hour or so, we went inside the station as the departure was approaching. A tug at the hem of my shirt halted my steps and I let myself being led in a somehow secluded space, hidden from indiscreet eyes. Strong arms went behind my back and I leaned in, pressing small kisses on the pouting lips.

“It’ll be okay”, I feel the need to reassure

“We won’t be able to meet for some time...”

“It’ll be okay”, I repeated

“I’ll miss you”

“It’ll be okay”, I swallowed hard

“I--”, he stopped in his track, eyes widdening for a second before a soft smile made room on his face and he my cheek, “We’ll be fine”

         I hadn’t notice the tears breaking my façade before I felt them in another kiss.

         I tried to sleep during the whole ride but ended up staring outside with a dramatic music playing in my ears, thinking of sending my story to KBS. I laughed at my own joke, maybe I should aim to Gag Concert instead.

         To be honest, the first few days were the worst. Even if we texted everyday, sometimes even doing small calls, it was never enough. After all, we had just began our relationship and already we were facing the distance obstacle. Adding to that, we hadn’t known each other for very long, neither did we take time to go on proper dates and learn about each other, testing the water with small steps. Instead, starting our relation on some wobbly ground.

         Still, never did we regret doing it this way and we made progress together, to make the situation better. Soon enough, we could spend more than an hour without texting each other or not feeling the need to endlessly repeat how much we were missing the other in favor of actual talks.

         At some point, we even started ting when I used the -deprived card to explain my ty mood. It was a lie.

         Truth be told, it wasn’t like Seoul was that far away from Busan. We could just take a three hours train and see each other again. I saw on YouTube some Americans dating Asians, and that, must be hard, you don’t buy plain tickets like you order coffee. The thing is, I was dating a raising idol with a busy schedule while being a broke student.

         He did come to Busan for an event, but they had to leave on the same day, not even letting him visit his own family, so let alone his hidden boyfriend. That day had been hard on him, he ended up calling past midnight and yelling at my sleepy self to vent his frustration. Sure, I was anticipating it myself, even feeling the need to cry and punch someone because the world seemed so unfair when I’ve heard he was on his way back already, but it would have just led to a useless confrontation, and we didn’t need that.

         His birthday happened a few days later. I had never felt this powerless before that day. I tried to call him throughout the entire day but he kept turning down my calls, sometimes texting that he was unavailable at the moment instead. I ended up sulking, a long pout decorating my face until I reached my bedroom at night. When finally he called, I was tempted to reject it, out of spite, but still pressed the green circle and was met with a long sigh. This was all it took for me to change my mood to trying to cheer him up.

         Unfortunately, the entertainment industry wasn’t all glossy and celebrities. Behind the curtains, there was a harsh world where only the strongest could survive. It had been one of the group’s busiest day since a long time. Being a special day or not didnt matter. Their popularity was raising and they were called everywhere. The company wouldn’t let the chance pass.

         I listened to him ranting about his day for quite a time and decided to only tell positive and funny story from my side to bring the mood up.

         I stopped expecting anything when my birthday came, knowing well enough that I would spend the day with my friends. It was also the day my family first heard of me not being single anymore when I broke in tears after the postman delivered a few packages at our door. All were presents from Jungkook and the other members of Big Kidz. I avoided saying that I was dating an idol, being doubtful it would stay within the circle, instead chosing to qualify it as a completely normal relationship. Even if my parents still had a hard time with the whole gayness, they tried their best to be supportive since I came out and it was enough. My mother hadn’t hesitate to recollect me in her arms while my father was dealing with the poor postman and my brother was taking the boxes inside. Only when I calmed down, I vaguely explained our story.

“He’s from Busan but works in Seoul... I met him when he came back some months ago and, yeah”, I didn’t know to what extend I could tell

         Some days later, we were facetiming when my mother barged in my room, hands full of freshly cleaned clothes. As usual, she began to complain on how much laundry she had to do because of me and I couldn’t help the blush when Jungkook laughed at the new information. Hearing a foreign sound, she quickly joined my side and her eyes widden as big as his when they “met”.

“Um... H-Hello”, he stuttered and she shrieked like a prepubescent fangirl

 ❁ This is the reason why I don’t usually upload all my chapters once they’re written, so that I can give you something to read quite regularly in case blank page hit me... Next chapter will be the last one buddies, stay with me for a bit more ! ~ Chu ღ