I knew exactly what love looked like....in seventh grade.

To me, love was lean and tall. He wore a Lakers jersey all day, everyday as I walked down the hallway - hair tousled and a chocolate brown, freckles adorned the tip of his nose and he looked like a combination of all the fictional boys I had conjured up in my mind between the pages of books in my room. 

Even though I hadn't exactly met love yet, I was sure if love wandered into my classroom or stumbled across me in the hallway - I would have recognized him at first glance. Because after a month entering seventh grade, I changed my mind. Love at that time, wore a....Chicago Bulls jacket, hair messy and blonde. In the first half of eighth grade, love played accoustic guitar and could dance to all the songs on the radio. In the other half of eighth grade, love could play all the sports in school and ace his test papers. The following year, love changed again. And again and again and again. 

Even though I haven't met love yet, I was sure that I must have been searching the wrong hallway, or was in the wrong class - I might have looked to the wrong direction. I was sure I knew exactly what love looked like.

But when love arrived, he was not who I expected.

When I pictured my favorite season, I expected autumn and not winter. Love had the deepest dimples and the most charming smile I had ever seen - compared to any fictional character in between pages. When loved arrived it was something I was not ready for, because he was there and real.

But that was what I wasn't prepared for at all, for 'love' that was real wouldn't stay for long. 

Love slammed the door on Christmas Eve.

---

---

"I told you to stop calling me." I said through the phone, arms crossed as I stared out the window. The skyline of Seoul was beautiful at night, it looked different than in San Fransisco. It felt more alive and fueled with fine electric currents like a constant adrenaline rush rather than the OC's mellow nightlife along with the heartbeat from its ocean. Here in Seoul, it seemed different. 

"Em, I know you're mad at me. But listen for once, please." Daehyun said, but I could tell he was looking towards somewhere else on the other side. He always did that when he was disinterested in talking to someone, his tone said it all. Why did he call anyway?

"I don't need to repeat it to you again," I said. "You had your chance, Daehyun. I'm not giving you another, after what you said on the phone."

"Look, it was a mistake - I was at a friend's party. I-I was drunk-"

"And I hate guys who drink, FYI."

"Ugh, I didn't mean what I said. I love you, Em-"

I scoffed, "Bull," and I ended the call. My eyes stared out the window, I felt like throwing my phone (of course I didn't, it wasn't cheap anyway), and scream in frustration. Yoo Daehyun, I was starting to hate that name. He had called two night's after the incident, where I called the break-up over the phone, through a text saying 'We're over.' 

"Was that Daehyun?" Yunyi came out from the kitchen, holding her mug of hot chocolate. Her tomboy haircut was utterly messy and as always - she had her Beats headphones on, possibly listening a Beethoven symphony on repeat. "So, did things work out for you two?"

I sighed, "You think?"

She swallowed, "Well, I heard Emma Song curse - which I rarely do. So, my guess is no." her hands reached for the remote and she started changing channels everytime a show she disliked appeared. "Are you really not going to give him a second chance?"

"You know what he said about me, Yunyi," I told her. "He called me ''-"

"Technically his friends called you a ," she pointed out. "From what I remember, you said he said he dated you because he thought you were an easy target - plus you had a great body-"

"Ah!" I groaned heavily. "Don't repeat it to me, Yunyi. It was already disgusting when I heard it the first time, it was a good thing he was too drunk to forget he put the call on loudspeaker and I heard everything his pals had said."

Yunyi shrugged, "People make mistakes?"

"Well, he needs to learn how to respect women then before he dates one." and I sunk into the couch next to her, then she offered me her mug of hot chocolate. I snatched it and chugged it down like a funnel, she stared at me dumbfounded. 

"Woah, it was hot!" she exclaimed. 

"Didn't notice, and I don't care." I mumbled. "Hey, is there any food in the fridge?"

"Well, I bought a bag of cheetos yesterday-"

I dragged myself over to the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out all the junkfood I could find. On the couch, I stared aimlessly at the screen as I stuffed the food into my mouth. Yunyi was silent as she watched me. By the time I finished two bags of chips, she snatched it away.

"For god's sake, you'll throw up sooner or later," she scolded, but I was still moping. Suddenly, she got up and put away we had on the table. She put it back in the kitchen and ran into her room. A few moments later, she appeared again but now all dressed up to go out. 

She tossed me my hoodie, I frowned, "Um, where are we going?"

"You're pretty even without makeup, sweety," she said. "Come on, unless you want to stay here until you throw up because of all the junkfood."

"Y-you still haven't answered my question!"

"Questions later, trust me on this." and forcefully, she dragged me up. 

The man stared at us strangely when we were in the elevator. Well, obviously since what were two college girls doing late in the night? Okay, it wasn't past twelve yet, but still...

"Yunyi, where on earth are you taking me?" I asked when we were on the bus. 

"Well, you said you don't believe in love anymore - that's when you're wrong." she said. "BTW, music's your true love too."

"Um, it's my passion. There's a difference, Yunyi."

"However you put it, Emma," she rolled her eyes. "The point is, you're losing trust in love - it's not that you don't believe at all. Get what I mean?"

"How would you know? You're gay and single."

"Doesn't mean I've lost faith in love, now that's a difference. You, you have a ton of boys lining up just to date you - and girls mind you, you just haven't found the right one yet."

I sighed, "Yunyi, you don't get it. I'm not turning down dating at all, I just don't think anything's worth it anymore. There's no relationship you can ever take seriously, look what happened between me and Daehyun."

"Okay, fine. He was an , but not all guys are like that," and she saw me glare at her. She rolled her eyes, "I get it, how would I - a gay, know anything about boys. But come on, Emma - it's like you're assuming all orange fruits in the world to be oranges."

"Yunyi, that doesn't even make sense!" 

"You get my point right? Unless you're starting to think you might not be a hundred percent straight?" she suggested.

No, I was clearly straight for your information. Living under the same roof with Yunyi confirmed that, otherwise I'd be bothered whenever she watched Victoria's Secret fashion show on our tv on the weekends. And we've only been housemates for the last year, she couldn't possibly know the reasons behind my beliefs she claims are 'absurd'. 

Thinking about it, no one really needed to know why I thought the way I did. I knew it was wrong, but it was the prejudice I had engraved in my mind. Besides, it was always better to be careful. 

Trust me, all those boys had got me free falling from cloud nine.

---

---

She took me to a fortune teller shop. Wow.

It had dreamcatchers dangling down the ceiling, and the place was filled with the scent of aromatherapy - wildflower to be specific. Lava lamps decorated the shelves and tables, where a small tattoo parlor was unoccupied at a corner. Designs were plastered against the walls, some were actually pretty. I could have gotten the delicate infinity sign on my wrist, but mom and dad would kill me when I got home.

"Hey, Jude?" Yunyi called out before leaving me to search somewhere behind the veil of the store. I peered around and looked at the various jewelry on display, ranging from extravagant pendants to simple yet pretty mood rings. Personally, I found the dreamcatcher necklaces the nicest out of it all. Yet again, they were meant for wishes. And when were my wishes ever granted?

"She's the one?" an unfamiliar voice said, I spun around. 

Yunyi's friend didn't look any younger than we were, possibly three years older and no more than that. She looked exactly like Yunyi, of not for her Caucasian features. What was a Caucasian tomboy doing in a fortune teller shop in the middle of Seoul? She looked ruggedly beautiful, like someone who could be equally hot as a guy which made sense of her fashion appearance. 

"Emma, this is Jude. Jude, Emma," she introduced. "Jude's here pretty accurate with her future predictions, and she asks a high price too. It's a good thing we're close."

Awkwardly, I nodded. "Hi." I said sheepishly. "I'm honest, this wasn't my idea to come here."

"Hush," Yunyi said. "That's why I brought you here, so Jude can predict your fortune first hand."

I rolled my eyes, "Yunyi, I told you stuff like this is a scam-"

"Oh really?" Jude raised her eyebrows, curving up at the corners. Compared to her, I felt like a dwarf. "Emma is it? You see, I get why people don't believe in crap like tarot cards and all that - that's cheap stock. But trust me, I'll let you have a refund if what I said doesn't happen within three days."

I was hesitant, then she sat next to her fortune parlor as she scanned me from the bottom up. "What's wrong, princess? Scared to try?"

"N-no," I stammered, and huddled over to her. Yunyi and I sat side by side, then Jude raised and eyebrow. 

"Sorry, Yunyi. You know the rules." she said, crossing her arms.

Yunyi groaned, "Again? Emma's my friend, can't I just stay and observe without making a sound?"

"The procedure can only involve the subject and the conductor, it's risky to have someone else in the room."

An uneasy feeling started to settle in my stomach. "Um, what are you exactly going to do with me?" I asked. 

"But at least tell me the results once you're done, okay?" and she disappeared on the other side of the veil, leaving me in the hands of Jude the fortune teller.

I swallowed when I saw her take a briefcase out from under the table, it didn't have any symbols fortune tellers had like stars and moons with faces. She put on a pair of gloves and started drawing a lilac liquid from one of the vials. I stared, "What's that for?"

"This," she held up the lilac liquid, "is to take a look at your life to predict your future. And this," now she showed me another tube, this time a blackish looking liquid I was sure was normal tattoo ink, "is to finish it up."

I was starting to get nervous, "Um, I thought you people used cards and tea leaves."

"I'm pretty sure they're fake, and this isn't - that's why mine's pricey." she winked. "It's called dream synchronization, something more reliable than reading tea leaves. Hold out your hand." she ordered me. 

Hesitantly, I did as said. Then Jude pulled out a tattoo catalogue, "Now, choose one you like."

"I'm not really allowed to get tattoes."

She chuckled, "Relax, princess. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, might as well get a souvenir while you can."

My rebellious side kicked in and I pointed at the one I had been eyeing since we had entered the store. I pointed at the infinity sign, and Jude smirked. "Nice choice, princess. Now, drink this and we can time your session."

"For what?" I frowned. 

"Dreams are dangerous if you get swept too far away, it's a precaution in case something happens and I can pull the both of us out." and she passed me the vial of lilac liquid. "Ready?"

"You swear I won't wake up in a hospital bed with a comatose?" I asked wearily.

"Just drink it and don't waste your words."

I took a deep breath, and chugged it down. Immediately, Jude started timing on the electronic clock. I didn't feel anything at first, and was aware she began strapping various things onto me - a copper headband of sorts onto my head and connecting the end to some sort of device that buzzed and beeped at random times. She did it like a doctor and not a fortune teller. 

"It'll take a minute or two for the serum to kick in." she explained. "The monitor will start ticking once it's activated, so be ready."

I was silent and confused for a good while, before realizing I should have asked the question earlier. "Are you really a fortune teller, or are you just lying?"

The second I said that, the monitor began to make ticking sounds in a uniform pattern. Gradually, the room began to spin a little as if I had vertigo. I tried hard to blink, but Jude's face was starting to get blurry. "This'll hurt a bit." she said. 

On my wrist, I felt the jolting prick of a needle.