Summary: Twilight!AU except Taeyeon Cullen can read Tiffany Swan's dirty, dirty mind.

Category: Crack, fluff, a little bit of y, a poor attempt at funny

Fingers grasped at Taeyeon's hair, pulling her towards her lover’s preferred destination, somewhere a lot warmer, and definitely a lot wetter.
 

She traced ’s descent with her tongue, and she couldn’t help but moan when Tiffany's unadulterated thoughts invaded her mind. She saw her tongue already shoved deep inside, ing hard and relentless as Tiffany rode her face without shame.
 

Tiffany was already picturing everything Taeyeon was about to do, and it was driving the latter nuts, the blurry line between reality and imagination breaking Taeyeon's concentration for her current task at hand.
 

The nails scraping impatiently at her scalp brought her back though, and she slowly continued her path south, until a flurry of scenarios she’d never been privy to before—fictional or otherwise—assaulted her almost physically.
 

“Tiffany…” Taeyeon groaned out, her entire body stilling, eyes scrunching up like she’s having a migraine.
 

“W-What’s wrong?” Tiffany panted, concern dulling her lust for a few moments.
 

“Your…thoughts… Dear lord.”
 

Tiffany gaped at her, then her face turned crimson, the blood that she had just drunk from an elk rising to her cheeks in embarrassment. “I… Sorry, I-”
 

Taeyeon winced when Tiffany's filthy thoughts flashed across both of their minds again. She knew how dirty Tiffany's thoughts could be—it had made a mess of Taeyeon's brain even back when they were only dating—but tonight… Wow.
 

“What have you been reading again?? Or watching??” Taeyeon asked in disbelief.
 

Tiffany gulped. “Umm…”
 

“I mean, it’s a lot better than that Mr. Grey nonsense. A lot more…” Taeyeon coughs. “…sensual. But…”
 

“I’m sorry,” Tiffany yelped out, her pitch rising a few more octaves than normal.
 

Taeyeon sighed, golden eyes meeting Tiffany's own guilty ones. “Don’t say that. It’s… Do you want me to, umm, do that to you?” Taeyeon was curious more than anything. Okay, maybe she was kind of more than anything. The scenario Tiffany came up with was undoubtedly hot. And . And did she mention hot?
 

Tiffany quickly shook her head. “No! I don’t know! …Maybe?” She bit her lip nervously, gauging Taeyeon's reaction.
 

Taeyeon couldn’t help it. A small smirk graced her face at Tiffany's hesitant admission. “Tiffany Swan, you naughty girl.”
 

“Taetaeeee…” Tiffany whined, embarrassed.
 

“Don’t be ashamed. It’s y, the scene you came up with in your head.”
 

“I…I saw it in one of those fanfiction stories. I thought ‘M’ stood for mystery, but when I started reading it… I-I couldn’t stop,” Tiffany admitted shyly.
 

Taeyeon bit her bottom lip hard to stop herself from laughing out loud, fearing for her 127 years of life if she teased Tiffany about her unexpected innocence.  M for mystery! Wait till Sunny hears about this.
 

“Anyway,” Tiffany shook her head, “Let’s just move on-“
 

“What? Why? We can try it out, Fany-ah.”
 

“…Are you sure?”
 

Taeyeon her lips, eyes darkening when Tiffany's thoughts strayed there once again. “If you’re getting this wet just thinking about it, I think it’s worth a shot,” she suggested teasingly, suddenly very excited at the prospect of trying something new with her vampire wife. They’re immortal after all, and they would always need to find something new to spice up their relationship—although Taeyeon knew that or not, she’d never get tired of Tiffany.
 

“…Alright.” Tiffany smiled, golden eyes sparkling before she closed her eyes, pulling Taeyeon in for a long kiss.
 

“Mm. Wait, I think we have the stuff we need in our closet.”

***

Juhyun was browsing through different types of pillows, trying her best to find the fluffiest one available when she bumped into Taeyeon and Tiffany at the furniture store.
 

“Hi, unnies!” She greeted them warmly.
 

They both greeted her back, although she noticed Tiffany fidgeting and avoiding her eyes.
 

“What are you guys doing here?” She asked them, curious.
 

“Err…” Taeyeon scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “We’re kind of looking for a new bed.”
 

Juhyun’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Bed? But don’t you already have—“ She finally realized what the fidgeting was all about, and she winced.
 

Taeyeon winced right back at her. “Juhyun! I can read your mind, you know?”
 

Juhyun shook her head rapidly, trying her best to think about comfy pillows and comfy beds and beds falling apart and splintering and oh, no.
 

“We can look for a bed another time,” Tiffany said, tugging Taeyeon's arm so they could leave before the two women could mentally scar themselves to death.
 

“No, no. I-I don’t really need a pillow right now anyway.” Juhyun carefully backed away from the both of them. “But you both need a bed to sleep in. Because…you broke it. Right. Anyway, good night!”
 

Juhyun’s vampire speed came in handy, and it was like she was never even there.
 

Except for one last thought she tried to project loud and clear: “Unnie, you should buy beds made of either pine or oak; those are quite sturdy. Okay, bye.”

A/N:

Self-prompting through Twitter again. What's new? HAHAHA. I tweeted this and a lot of people wanted me to write it, and I was like "....why......." but I tried my best! I don't really know how to write crack, but I hope it worked out. XD