I'll withstand all of hell to hold your hand

Are you down for the ride? (TaeNy One-shot Collection)

Summary: Tiffany could stay, or she could let Taeyeon go.

Category: Angst

Title Source: Far Away by Nickelback


Pain. Glass crunching. Footsteps. A shadow covers the blinding brightness.
 

“You can’t die on me.”
 

Soft, shaking hands. Pain. Excruciating pain.
 

“Don’t ing die on me, you stubborn !”
 

Something wet dripping on her face. Something warm leaving her body. Taking her soul along with it.
 

Soft hands pressing. Pain.
 

“You can hate me as much as you want. Continue hating me forever, but please, Taeyeon, don’t die. I can’t…”
 

Harsh breathing. Swimming vision of black strands and pale skin. Pain. Metallic scent stinging.
 

Then, darkness.

 

***

 

It took three days for Taeyeon to wake up.
 

Everything hurt, but her chest felt like it was being indefinitely crushed by a ten-wheeler. When she came to, before she even opened her eyes, she noticed a slight pressure on her right hand.
 

Once she blinked blearily onto harsh white walls and white lights, the pressure on her hand increased, almost painfully so.
 

“Taeyeon…” a voice croaked out.
 

She knew that voice. That voice haunted her endless dreams for three days.
 

Her vision slowly shifted to the right, and there she was.
 

Gaunt cheeks, pale skin, tired—but still beautiful—eyes. And her smile. It overpowered the blinding fluorescent lights in its intensity.
 

Three days did nothing to change how she felt for the girl, though. Taeyeon thought near-death experiences would change her perspective on things—and it did. She was now more appreciative of nature, friends, and family, but why didn’t her feelings for Tiffany change? Why can’t let go of the taste of bitterness? Why did the pain in her chest fade, replaced by such ferocious anger once she heard Tiffany’s voice?
 

Or was this all really just a mask? Because Taeyeon knew, underneath it all, her heart fluttered at the thought that Tiffany waited for three days for her to wake up. But the mask overshadowed such feelings. Made her a ruthless monster.
 

Once Taeyeon looked into Tiffany’s eyes, she abruptly looked down and burned a hole through their joined hands.
 

She could still see Tiffany smiling at her in her periphery. It took Tiffany a few seconds to look down as well, and her smile faltered as she realized what Taeyeon was so blatantly glaring at. Tiffany let go of Taeyeon’s hand, smile disappearing, crescent eyes replaced with a bolt of pain Taeyeon would have been stupid not to catch. Tiffany swallowed loudly—almost like she was choking—when she saw Taeyeon move her hand proximally to her side, like she was disinviting further contact.
 

Taeyeon’s heart broke for her, wanted to scream a hello and so much more, but instead, Taeyeon’s bitter mouth rasped out “Shouldn’t you be calling a doctor?”
 

Taeyeon had never seen such pain on Tiffany's face. Practically devastation.
 

Taeyeon’s heart took out a gun and killed her own soul for saying that.
 

It took seven seconds for Tiffany to blink back her pain into an almost unreadable mask.
 

“I’ll…I’ll call Steve.” And then Taeyeon felt tier than she already did because even after what she had just said, Tiffany’s eyes looked at her lovingly again, tracing her features with such happiness before turning to leave the room, and Taeyeon almost sobbed because she was a who didn’t deserve Tiffany.

 

***

 

After notifying Steve, Tiffany fumbled through the facility like a zombie, searching for any door leading to any unoccupied room.
 

She finally found a utilities closet, and once she had locked it, she slithered down the floor and broke down into harsh sobs.
 

She couldn’t do it anymore.
 

She couldn’t.
 

After drying her tears and making sure she didn’t look like she had just cried her soul out, she contacted HQ and told them that she wanted to book a flight home. They acquiesced, telling her that her flight leaves at 22:00, and that she was in the same flight as Yoona. She thanked them and sought out the members of the team she’d been with for the past year to bid them goodbye.
 

Some were still drinking their days and nights away, glad that their mission was accomplished with no casualties. Others retired to their rooms, probably sleeping the days and nights away.
 

As much as she liked the hugs and pats on the back, Tiffany loathed the pitying looks she received from a handful. They most likely knew what had just happened with Taeyeon, or at least had a very plausible hunch about it.
 

She went to her room to pack, all the while ignoring the brown envelope on the table that was taunting her until she had finally zipped up her duffel bag.
 

Her hands shook as she took the paper out. It took her several minutes of glassy-eyed staring before she finally signed them and slipped them underneath Taeyeon’s door. It was what Taeyeon wanted; the only thing Taeyeon wanted from her.

 

***

 

“Did you send her away?”
 

“What?”
 

“She stayed with you for three days, you know. Barely ate, drank, or slept. And she was the one who saved you.”
 

“…I know.”
 

Steve sighed. “Why can’t you just be nice to her? Just give her an inch.”
 

“…Because if I do, I won’t just be giving her an inch, Steve. I’d end up giving her a ing mile.”
 

“So what? Second chances aren’t uncommon.”
 

“…I’m tired.”
 

“Okay.” Steve gave her a resigned smile, knowing the conversation was over. “I’ll let you get some rest.”

 

***

 

Tiffany's steps slowed down as she approached the room. She could see Taeyeon through the glass wall, lying down with her eyes closed. She steeled herself and made her way inside.
 

Taeyeon didn’t react to her presence, and so Tiffany continued walking until she was beside the pale blonde.
 

The color was returning to her cheeks, at least. Her vital signs seemed to be stable, just as Steve had informed her. He said Taeyeon will be able to get out of bed in a week or so. And Tiffany wouldn’t be there to see it.
 

“Hey,” she croaked out, various emotions filling her voice.
 

Nothing.
 

“…Are you pretending to be asleep so you don’t have to talk to me?”
 

Not the slightest twitch.
 

“It’s okay.” Tiffany smiled wanly. “I don’t think I’d be able to take it if you brush me off anyway. ...When you…when you pulled your hand away a while ago, I…I wanted to die.” She quietly laughed it off, but her laugh sounded harsh even to her own ears.
 

“Anyway…I…I’m glad you’re okay. Steve said you’ll be able to get out in a week or so, so…that’s good. I just came by to say goodbye.” Permanently. Tiffany bit her lip to keep it from trembling.
 

“I’m catching the first plane back to HQ with Yoona, and it leaves in two hours.” Tiffany laughed again. “I don’t really know why I’m telling you all this, like you’d care…but…Taeyeon…” she continued with a broken voice. “I’m sorry. Forever will be. I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me. Just send me a text if you do, then I’ll be happy.” Tiffany smiled through her tears, but her smile fell at her next words. “I’ll keep my promise. I won’t contact you, stalk you, whatever. I promise. But…” Tiffany inhaled a shaky breath. “I love you. I do. I really do. Please believe that.”
 

Taeyeon still didn’t move. Tiffany thought she was actually too still, but if Taeyeon really was awake, then Tiffany was glad. At least she heard everything she wanted to say to her. At least Taeyeon would know how sorry she was and how much she loved her still.

 

***

 

Taeyeon woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of muffled footsteps and shouts.
 

She slowly blinked her eyes and adjusted to the light streaming through the clear wall at one side of the room.
 

The place was in utter chaos. She could see nurses and doctors running around the facility. She quickly tried to sit up and flinched when she realized she couldn’t because of her injury.So instead, she pressed the emergency button beside her and waited.
 

It took longer than usual for someone to come, but finally, a nurse dropped by.
 

“What’s wrong, Agent Kim?”
 

“What’s going on?”
 

The nurse turned to see how the scene outside looked to Taeyeon. The chaos had died down a bit, but everyone seemed to be walking a little faster and clusters of people were forming, probably gossiping about the situation, whatever it was. The nurse turned back to her, seemingly cautious.
 

“Tell me,” Taeyeon demanded with as much authority as she could muster given her current state.
 

“The…the plane. There was a crash and some of the agents were on the plane.”
 

Taeyeon was struck speechless for a moment. Something cold and harsh slithered across her spine. “W-who? Who were the agents?”
 

The nurse’s hesitation further fueled the icy feeling Taeyeon was experiencing. Before she could yell out another demand, the nurse gave her an answer: “I-It was Agent Im and Agent H-Hwang, Agent Kim.”

 

***

 

The week flew by and Taeyeon barely felt a thing. She couldn’t really even feel the pain caused by her injury.
 

That was physically, though, because emotionally, she was a crippled mess.
 

She was racked by so much guilt, emptiness, and just cold, cold suffering.
 

It was so cold.
 

Yoona was dead. Tiffany was presumed dead because her body wasn’t found, but there were so many mutilated bodies and fragments of parts that she could be any one of them.
 

Tiffany.
 

Her heart was screaming, and it wouldn’t stop.

 

***

 

Taeyeon didn’t cry the entire time she was bedridden. But she completely broke down after she had entered her room and accidentally stepped on a brown envelope. An envelope she shakily opened, and there it was.
 

The thing she had wanted from the very beginning when she agreed to this mission that had been labelled as doomed from the start. And yet here most of them were, alive and well, with the mission accomplished. Except for two.
 

Her gaze flitted to the bottom of the paper, and there was Tiffany's signature right where Taeyeon had wanted it. Right there at the bottom of the divorce paper.
 

Taeyeon wanted to burn it. Rip it apart. But it was marked by Tiffany's hand. And Taeyeon wanted to ing die because she could see how there were some parts to the paper that were a bit wrinkled, and she was sure that it’s because of Tiffany's tears that had dried up.
 

That was when Taeyeon snapped and dropped to the floor, sobbing herself to exhaustion against her door.

 

***

 

--2 years later--

 

“I really need to buy a new gun.”
 

“Shh!” Juhyun admonished Sooyoung. “Don’t say that out loud in public, unnie!”
 

Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “Loosen up. No one’s going to take me seriously. We’re in a bar, for God’s sake.”
 

Taeyeon shook her head at the two women and took a hearty gulp of her ice-cold beer. It was at times like these—while she was hanging out with her friends—when her mind would drift and she would end up thinking about what Yoona or Tiffany would be adding to the conversation. She missed them. Terribly.
 

She unconsciously began to play with the white gold metal on her left ring finger as she dialed back into the entertaining banter her friends were having.
 

Then her ears abruptly refocused on something else—almost instinctively—as a familiar voice broke through the grumbling noise of the pub.
 

Taeyeon snapped her head towards the source, and she watched as a woman in a dark blue hoodie with the hood up turned away from the man who had bumped into her and quickly made her way to the exit.
 

Taeyeon didn’t stop to even think as she stood up and followed the stranger.
 

“Taeyeon?”
 

“Hey!”
 

Taeyeon raised a hand to signal to her friends that she was fine and that she’d be back. She could be hallucinating a little bit, but she was fine.
 

The woman was fast. She was already at the end of the block by the time Taeyeon had exited the pub, and the blonde had to give everything she had to burst into a sprint and track the lady.
 

The stranger was using every possible tactic to lose her—zigzagging, taking shortcuts, blending with whatever crowds were available—but Taeyeon was relentless. Because the fact that the woman was running from her was making her heart explode with hope, numbing the exhaustion she should be feeling since they’d been at it for about ten minutes now.
 

Finally, Taeyeon was blessed with sheer luck, because the next shortcut the woman tried to take was a dead end.
 

Taeyeon was panting harshly, and she was crouching in exhaustion with her hands on her knees, but she was alert and ready in case the woman with her back to her would suddenly turn around and try to escape.
 

Or maybe shoot her.
 

Taeyeon hoped she wouldn’t. And Taeyeon hoped she wasn’t wrong about this. About who the stranger was. Because Taeyeon hadn’t heard that voice in two years. Ever since the love of her now very miserable life had told her that she loved her.
 

“Tiffany.”
 

The woman froze, back ramrod straight. Taeyeon closed her eyes in utter relief.
 

“Tiffany,” she said again. Desperately. She fought back tears because…holy . Tiffany.
 

And finally, finally, she turned around. Pulled back her hood, and there was no mistaking it. Her hair was dyed blonde now, but her nose, , her eyes. It was her.
 

Taeyeon didn’t want to spook her, so she tried not to walk up to Tiffany too quickly, but she realized that she was the one who was afraid. She was afraid that she was just hallucinating, or that she had just chased a mere ghost for ten minutes all over freaking London City.
 

The other woman’s eyes were looking anywhere but at her, and Taeyeon couldn’t help but note the utter anguish in them, and the unshed tears.
 

“I’m sorry.”
 

Those were the first words Tiffany said to her in two years. That she was sorry.
 

“I…I didn’t keep my promise. I…I’m—“
 

Taeyeon didn’t want to hear it again. She hurriedly reached her and wrapped her arms tightly against the trembling woman. “No. Don’t. Don’t say it again. Thank you. Thank you,” Taeyeon sobbed out, clutching onto Tiffany like she was her everything, and she kind of was.
 

“W-what?”
 

“For being here. For being here. And not…and not d. Thank you, Fany-ah.”
 

They didn’t say anything for a long while as cars whizzed past and people walked by them, unaware that they were passing by two people who had found each other again.

 


A/N:

This had actually been a WIP for like......6 months?? LOL But then I found out it was Taeny Day today so I was like DEMMIT I GOTTA COMMEMORATE THIS JOYOUS EVENT...with a giant dose of angst. HAH. Laugh with me, guys.

I actually have a complete explanation as to why Fany's alive and all (plus a really huge plotline that could've been a multichap ;_;), but my lazy bum self doesn't know how to incorporate it into this snippet so... D: You can just use your imagination? But if you really wanna know, I can just PM you, or you can leave a comment down below and demand it from me XD

Thank you for reading! And Happy Taeny Day <3 

 

P.S. Okay I may have brought everyone into a state of intense confusion LOL GAH I'M SORRY IT WAS SO LOGICAL IN MY HEAD BECAUSE I KNEW ALL THE DETAILS!!! The explanation to the story will be added to the comments section below!

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8moons2stars
I never realized how fun it is to write domestic-established-relationship!TaeNy. Might explore this AU from now on and make more chapters for it. ^^ Tiff as a journalist is kinda cute.

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UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #1
Chapter 30: I've finished the stories! Every story is worth reading! Medical AUs are bteath of fresh air for me because there aren't a lot. :)
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #2
Chapter 26: This domestic Taeny AU is very fin to read.:)
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #3
Chapter 25: I think I can hear the shriek upon seeing "blood" 😅
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #4
Chapter 24: I'm glad you ended it this way. I can't with the angst...
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #5
Chapter 22: This is so funny! M for Mystery! 😂 And Juhyun's suggestion for sturdy beds!
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16 streak #6
Chapter 12: I kinda felt sad...
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16 streak #7
Chapter 11: Ghost Taeyeon is cute!
UndefinedCharacter
16 streak #8
Chapter 10: They came back! :)
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16 streak #9
Chapter 9: Whoa! 🥵
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16 streak #10
Chapter 8: Oh my! This is just beautiful! I can imagine what they went through from start to where they are now. The feels! :')