Kyungsoo was incredibly baffled when he arrived at Sehun’s apartment – the man wasn’t kidding about the baby. He sat on the living room floor and assessed the situation. “There’s a baby on your floor.” 

Sehun nodded and ran around after it, wiping up the drool it left behind. “I know!”

“Did you feed it?”

“I did!”

“H-How?”

Sehun held still for a moment before whipping his hair out of his face. “I googled it.”

Kyungsoo busted out into a fit of laughter. “How to feed a baby?”

“How to bottle feed a baby-“ Sehun corrected. “It doesn’t seem hard; Minguk took it like a champ!”

“Because he’s a ten-month-old being with experience! You should be grateful that he takes the bottle!”

“Why?”

Kyungsoo pointed to his chest. “We don’t got , remember? Don’t most kids milk out of their mamas?”

Sehun grabbed his pecks. “Oh my goodness.”

“Anyway,” He leaned back on his arms leisurely and looked around. “What are you going to do about him now?”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “I thought you came here to help,”

“You missed a spot, mmm yeah, right there…” Kyungsoo lazily pointed a finger to the floor.

“Ugh,” The taller continued to follow after Minguk. “I don’t know,” He admitted. “I called security and they said that they couldn’t identify the woman in the CCTV. Her face wasn’t showing and she was wearing a hat too.”

“Can’t they trace her location or something?”

Sehun looked at his friend, unimpressed, and extremely done with his . “The police have better things to do than this- they have criminals to catch.”

“You can still try…?”

“Anyone who hears about this situation would obviously think the kid is mine!” Sehun sighed. “Who’s going to believe that it isn’t? It would seem as if I was denying it!”

“You would look like an ,”

“Hey!”

“…a butthole…”

Sehun picked Minguk up and sat him on his lap in defeat. “Man I should’ve never called you.”

toot

Sehun felt a shiver run down his spine when he heard that. All the hairs on his arms stood up and his eyes widened when the warmth reached his crotch. “…Minguk…” He whispered. “Did you just…”

Kyungsoo dragged his bum across the floor and scooted away from the two. “That fart smells…wow…” He cringed and pinched his nose. “That small baby can probably out-fart 97 men.”

Sehun looked down at the smiling baby and almost began to cry as he shook his head. “I don’t know how to change a diaper!”

“Google it.”

He looked up. “This is not the time for jokes!” He said in distress. “This baby is going to on me!”

“Language.”

“Kyungsoo!!!”

***

“Okay, now it says to lift the legs and slide a diaper underneath…”

Sehun turned around and scowled. “You said you would help!”

Kyungsoo took the clothespin off his nose and tapped the screen. “I am! I’m reading you the directions- oh Jesus!” He clipped his nose shut again. “I’m supervising!”

“You sound like a duck!”

“, you too!”

Sehun gasped. “Stop doing that!”

“Female dog, you too!”

“Ugh!”

Soon, the boys sat on the couch in exhaustion as Minguk crawled around the apartment, leaving a trail of drool everywhere he went. Sehun wrinkled his nose as he watched- the baby would occasionally stop and shove his hand in his mouth. “That’s disgusting,” He mumbled.

“It’s a baby, what do you expect?!”

“But still…”

“It’s going to eat its own toes and boogers too by the way.”

Sehun sighed and ruffled his hair. “What do I do now? I’ve spent all day with this kid and it’s almost 8 in the evening! I have work tomorrow!”

“Call in sick again! You have all those vacation days!”

Sehun glanced at Kyungsoo, offended. “You want me to call off again? You know I was employee of the month for 4 months in a row, right?!”

Kyungsoo brushed it off. “You’re a customer service representative bro! Your office is full of zombies typing away at their computers! Of course, you’d be the employee of the month, you never take off!”

“But what about when I go back to work? I need a babysitter or something!”

“How about your mother? She’s always wanted grandchildren!”

“NO.” Sehun crossed his arms in an “x” formation as he strongly disagreed. “My mom is crazy for grandkids! She’ll take this one in as one of her own even if it’s not hers!”

“Anyone else you have in mind?”

Sehun looked at him.

“You’re going to trust me with that?”

Sehun shuddered and waved his hands. “No! Definitely not…”

“There’s only one option left I guess,”

“What?”

“No one really checks your office, right? I mean it’s a huge dim room with almost 50 cubicles and everyone is busy responding to customers…”

“Kyungsoo...”

Kyungsoo nodded at himself. “Seems like a viable idea, bring the kid to work!”

“Stop joking-“

“Bring the kid to work!”

[a/n]: comments are much appreciated!