--

“Chanyeol’s been a little distant lately,” Baekhyun says as he stirs his cup of coffee. He has a blank look in his eyes as he stares out into the distance at nothing in particularly. It worries Jongdae, a lot, because Baekhyun isn’t one to be aloof. He’s irrational, lets his emotions get the better of him, very hard headed and maybe just a tab bit impulsive but depressed, he’s not.

“You’ve been married to that idiot for like, what, two years now? And you can’t just ask him what’s going on?” Jongdae throws back, grabbing on an apple to munch on.

“Three years this coming month,” Baekhyun corrects him without batting an eyelid.

“It’s not that simple,” Baekhyun counters, setting his mug on the table in front of him. He slides into the seat, lets his elbows rest on the table and sighs deeply.

“I’ve tried. Asked him what’s going on, what’s bothering him. I even gave him a list of things to choose from but he says it’s none of those and that I shouldn’t worry much about it.”

“Mmm,” Jongdae hums contemplatively, his chin for added effect. “That definitely sounds like nothing’s right.”

“That’s what I thought!” Baekhyun cries, finally some sort of fire in his eyes. “I’m not overreacting, am I?”

“You shouldn’t be made to feel like you have to doubt your own husband,” Jongdae finally says after a moment’s contemplation. Baekhyun nods with a small pout.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Dump his ,” Jongdae provides unhelpfully. But Baekhyun’s mind is too preoccupied to form a coherent reply other than a noncommittal grunt.

--

It’s a week later when Baekhyun decides to take matters into his own hands. If Chanyeol insists on being difficult, Baekhyun thinks that it’s time he knocks some much needed sense into his husband’s head.

“But you hate my family,” Chanyeol deadpans when Baekhyun brings up the subject of a visit to the Park’s while they’re getting ready to get into bed. Baekhyun settles under the covers and makes himself comfortable.

“But I love you,” is Baekhyun’s response. Baekhyun isn’t one to freely voice out his affection but he thinks that the situation calls for it. Chanyeol needs to know just how much Baekhyun is willing to sacrifice for him.

Baekhyun doesn’t miss the way Chanyeol rolls his eyes as he gets into bed beside him. Baekhyun’s not hurt, no he’s not. But it does make him a little bit pissed.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Chanyeol finally says once he’s settled beside Baekhyun. A lull of silence falls upon them and Baekhyun waits with bated breath for his husband to pull him into his chest like he always does.

Chanyeol doesn’t.

In fact, he rolls over to his side, back facing Baekhyun. It makes Baekhyun frown into the dark, feeling very much like a petulant child.

“Well, it’s not up for debate so we’re going to your parents’ tomorrow and that’s final,” Baekhyun huffs before turning to face the other side. He hears a long suffering sigh.

It’s a very long time later, right before Baekhyun falls into the clutches of sleep, that he feels a pair of arms snake around his waist and a very muffled “okay” whispered into the back of his neck.

--

Baekhyun hates his in-laws.

Back when he was still dating Chanyeol, and he hadn’t been introduced to the parents of his love just yet, Baekhyun had a dream. Chanyeol used to tell of how doting his parents were. How they were proud of him, and that they would love Baekhyun no matter who he was, because Baekhyun made their son the happiest he’s been. Baekhyun had always smiled, then, saying that he couldn’t wait to meet these wonderful people Chanyeol spoke of.

Having come from a broken family, Baekhyun longed to be part of one that accepted him as he was. So it wasn’t much of a surprise that all Baekhyun wanted was for Chanyeol’s parents to love him just like how he loved Chanyeol.

That dream was shattered when they finally met, and when they found out of Baekhyun’s past.

“My son can do so much better than you,” were the first few words Mrs. Park had uttered when Chanyeol tactfully explained that Baekhyun used to work as an .

“That’s just a fancy word for e, isn’t it?” Chanyeol’s father had remarked with a snide smile as he took a bite of his steak.

Needless to say, they did everything in their power to make Baekhyun’s life a living hell when he became a Park. Baekhyun’s not particularly fond of them for those reasons.

Baekhyun’s stomach churns uncomfortably, just like it always has, when they arrive at the Park’s mansion. His own home with Chanyeol’s is pretty impressive, but Chanyeol’s parents lived in a modern-day castle.

A butler greets them as they step foot into the million dollar home and then they’re being ushered into the all-too familiar living room where a grand piano sits in the corner and the balcony overlooks their vast garden.

“Chanyeol, darling,” Mrs. Park’s face lights up at the sight of her only child. Mr. Park comes back inside from smoking his cigar and beams proudly at his son.

“I heard from Mr. Jon that you single-handedly won that deal with the Kims,” Mr. Park says, clasping his son’s shoulder.

“You’ve done your mother and I proud, son,” Mr. Park smiles.

“If only you’d have let us chosen your bride, I think your life would be even more perfect than it already is. I mean, he really is an ugly stain on your otherwise immaculate life,” Mrs. Park sneers, peering at Baekhyun disdainfully.

“News flash, lady, I think him marrying me is  pretty much saying that he’s gay,” Baekhyun rebukes with a quirk of his lips. Mrs. Park looks like she’d been slapped in the face and Mr. Park gives him a cold, hard stare. Chanyeol turns around to shoot him a disapproving look but Baekhyun can’t find it in himself to give two s.

“I’ll be in your son’s old bedroom, and ready for him to me once he’s done playing the good son,” Baekhyun gives an exaggerated curtsy and leaves the room, gloating in the sounds of Mrs. Park’s horrified gasp.

--

“You know,” Chanyeol says, heaving as he comes down from his high, “This doesn’t let you off the hook for what you did back there.”

Baekhyun laughs breathily, propping himself up on an elbow to run his dainty fingers down Chanyeol’s strong, chest. “I didn’t hear you complaining much about it when I was riding you,” Baekhyun teases.

Chanyeol flushes but he recovers quickly, grabbing Baekhyun’s wrist. In an instant, he has the smaller man pinned underneath him. Baekhyun stares up into Chanyeol’s eyes, holding the man’s gaze. He can’t tell what Chanyeol is thinking, but his husband is definitely bothered by something. For a moment Baekhyun thinks Chanyeol is going to kiss him but in the next second the weight on him is gone and Chanyeol is slipping on his boxers and disappearing into the bathroom.

“What are you hiding from me?” Baekhyun whispers into the nothingness.

--

“…I have a proposition,” Mrs. Park says as she approaches him the next day. Baekhyun groans.

“Can’t you just leave me the alone? I’d rather much be in the company of these ducks than yours,” Baekhyun turns away from the pond to leave.

“This doesn’t concern money,” Mrs. Park says sharply. She straightens out her dress. “I believe we are past the stage where we are over trying to be civilized with you. My husband and I agree that we have allowed you to act as you please for far too long.”

Baekhyun finally faces the witch, curious as to what she has to say. It’s the first time she hasn’t tried bribing him to leave Chanyeol. He wonders just how low they were going to stoop to get rid of him.

“Seohyun tells me she’s expecting and that she will not go to court if you divorce Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun stares at her like she’s lost her mind. “Who the is Seohyun and what does it have to do with me or Chanyeol?”

There’s an evil smile playing on her awful red lips as she says, “Oh, didn’t Chanyeol tell you? Seohyun is his childhood sweetheart. She got back from the States last month and I guess they really couldn’t deny their attraction for each other the night they met. Seohyun confessed that they hooked up. I guess my Chanyeollie couldn’t help falling in love with a proper girl.”

Chanyeol wouldn’t, Baekhyun’s sure of that. Even if it was a great coincidence that Chanyeol’s been avoiding him for the past month, Baekhyun believes that Chanyeol would never do that to him.

With the sweetest smile he could muster, Baekhyun says, “Chanyeol doesn’t even like girls. He loves men. He loves me.”

“Oh honey,” Mrs. Park laughs derisively, “Who knows? Maybe Chanyeol got tired of waiting for a child from you. Seohyun’s very much fertile and Chanyeol has fallen in love with the person who can give him what he wants.”

Her words hit a little too close to home and as if on cue, Baekhyun feels his heart trembling from the revelation.

“ you,” is all he manages before he’s tailgating the out of there.

--

“At least you managed to tell her to go herself,” Jongdae says sympathetically as he pats his back. Baekhyun moans like he’s dying. And actually it’s not too far from the truth. Because he feels  like his world has come crashing down on him. After that weekend fiasco at his in-laws, Baekhyun had barely managed to keep himself together the silent ride home. Chanyeol hadn’t spared him a glance, either, which Baekhyun was both thankful for and sort of angry about.

But Baekhyun’s got other to deal with. A, his husband may or may not have cheated on him, and B, his insecurities have started to pile up like rocks and Baekhyun feels so suffocated he just wants to drown in his own misery.

“Come on,” Jongdae tries to cheer him up, “You survived a weekend in hell. That’s a cause to celebrate, isn’t it? Plus you got your husband to you while his parents were in the room across the hallway.”

It doesn’t feel much like an accomplishment.

“You don’t understand, Dae,” Baekhyun whispers heartbrokenly. The smile falls off his friend’s face. Jongdae can tell just how upset Baekhyun really is.

“That lady really ed you up, didn’t she?” Jongdae murmurs. Baekhyun nods as a few tears fall.

--

“You need to fix your marriage,” Jongdae corners an unsuspecting Chanyeol while the latter is on his lunch break. Baekhyun doesn’t have many friends, and the only one who’s always stuck to Baekhyun’s side was Jongdae. Chanyeol doesn’t particularly like Jongdae but he understands Baekhyun in ways Chanyeol sometimes overlooks. And for that he’s grateful. Really. But that still doesn’t mean Chanyeol isn’t a little bit terrified of Jongdae.

“W-what?” Chanyeol splutters, subway in hand and coffee in the other. Jongdae backs him up into a wall and jabs an accusatory finger at his chest.

“Don’t play dumb, alright?” Jongdae barks. “Are you really that stupid to have not seen how upset Baekhyun’s been?”

“…I have,” Chanyeol says with a sigh, shoulders slumped. “I mean, I’ve noticed that he’s been a little upset.”

“A little upset?” Jongdae repeats rather mockingly. “He’s not a little upset!” Jongdae cries. “My best friend is having a ing meltdown and you haven’t done to make him feel better!”

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol seems to perk up at this.
 

“Wow, you really are dumb,” Jongdae shakes his head in disbelief. “You need to have a talk with your husband when you get home.”

--

When Chanyeol comes back that night, it’s later than it usually is. He quietly toes off his shoes before silently making his way up into their bedroom. It’s dark but he makes out a lump on Baekhyun’s side of the bed.

“Baek?” Chanyeol calls out in a whisper. There’s no answer, and for a moment, Chanyeol thinks his husband is asleep. Chanyeol is about to turn away when he hears a quiet sniff.

“Baekhyun?” He calls once more, heading towards the shaking lump. “…are you crying?”

A sob is all he gets and Chanyeol hurries towards his husband, slowly prying the blankets away to reveal Baekhyun who’s curled up on his side.

“Baby?” Chanyeol murmurs, reaching out. Baekhyun flinches as soon as Chanyeol makes contact with his arm.

“…please leave,” Baekhyun whispers through his tears.

“What’s happened?” Chanyeol asks with a frown, sitting on the back of his knees.

“Chanyeol, please,” Baekhyun pleads as he covers his face with his hands. “I-I can’t be with you right now.”

Confused, Chanyeol can do nothing but to obey his husband’s wishes. He’s too tired to deal with it anyway. In the morning, he tells himself as he lays on the couch and closes his eyes. He’ll have the talk with Baekhyun in the morning.

--

There’s a note on the dining table when he wakes up.

Chanyeol, is written on the front.

I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.

Heart hammering in his chest, Chanyeol picks up the pictures that come with it.

It’s him, sleeping under the covers. But it’s not Baekhyun who’s in his arms. It’s his childhood sweetheart.

--

Chanyeol had saved him all those years ago, but it’s Chanyeol as well who has destroyed him.

“Keep the change,” the burly man says with a laugh as he throws a couple of bills onto the bed. He gives a greasy wink before he leaves to be with his wife.

Baekhyun reaches for the money and counts his earnings for the night. His is sore and his thighs are bruised; the client had been a little too enthusiastic.

He spends an hour soaking in the tub. No matter how hard he scrubs, remnants of the memory of countless other clients are etched deep into his skin.

Baekhyun sobs as he drags the blade across the skin of his stomach. There are other scars; some fresh, some healing. He needs to be reminded of how he lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

It’s four in the morning by the time he’s ready for bed. Even then, Baekhyun lays awake and stares up into the ceiling, wondering which client would be up for another round tomorrow. It’s all Baekhyun can think of to stop his heart from hurting.

--

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae’s voice cracks when he finally sees his best friend after a month since Chanyeol called him to ask if he knows where his husband was. There are tears in Jongdae’s eyes as he takes in the state Baekhyun is in.

He knows this sight. It’s a painful reminder of the past, when Baekhyun would let himself be used over and over again. But Jongdae isn’t there to preach. He’s there to comfort his best friend.

It’s Baekhyun who does the comforting.

“It’s okay,” he says for the hundredth time as Jongdae sobs into his shoulder. Jongdae hasn’t let up his hold on him but Baekhyun isn’t going to complain. It’s been awhile since someone has held him this way without wanting to him. It feels nice.

“It’s not,” Jongdae whispers, clutching onto his best friend’s shirt.

“It is,” Baekhyun insists even though he’s close to tears himself. “I guess I’ve always known that this is all that I’ll ever amount to, you know?”

--

“I wish things had turned out differently,” Jongdae says sadly as he hands the stack of papers to Chanyeol. In the beginning, he was mad at Chanyeol. For everything he’s done to Baekhyun.

But Baekhyun has made him promise that he wasn’t going to go all ape on his soon to be ex-husband. Besides, Baekhyun also explained that it wasn’t entirely Chanyeol’s fault. That it was partly his fault for not being able to bear a child.

Jongdae tries to make him see otherwise but he will respect his best friend’s wishes.

“Will you tell me where he is?” Chanyeol asks. There’s an edge of uneasiness in his tone, his lips pursed in a terse manner.

“I can’t,” Jongdae shakes his head. “I…” He wants so badly to tell Chanyeol to save Baekhyun again. That Baekhyun is doing terribly and that he has fallen into a dark, dark pit. But Baekhyun would hate him for eternity if he did.

“I can’t tell you where he is,” Jongdae says slowly, “But if you really did care for him, I suggest you find him before he destroys himself.”

Chanyeol is left staring wistfully at the divorce papers.

--

He didn’t need to stalk Jongdae before he finally has a chance to see Baekhyun.

Chanyeol gets a call from the local hospital and it has his heart in his mouth. He tells his secretary to cancel all his meetings for the day and is racing to find the right ward in less than an hour.

Chanyeol is relieved when he realises that it’s not the ICU. When he walks into the room, he sees a familiar figure lying in bed, asleep.

Baekhyun looks smaller than he has, face pale and lips chapped. The steady beeping from the heart monitor calms Chanyeol’s anxious heart but he’s heartbroken by how lifeless Baekhyun looks.

Shrugging off his coat, Chanyeol takes a seat by the bed and reaches out for one of Baekhyun’s hands that lay limp by his side. He kisses the knuckles and whispers a broken “I’m sorry” into it.

--

When Baekhyun awakes, he’s very much confused. He’s hooked to an IV line and he’s not in his bed in his rented studio apartment. The last thing he remembers is working his day job at the café and feeling very faint all day.

Looking down at his other hand, he sees that it has been held captive. Upon realizing whose mop of hair it was, Baekhyun begins to frantically shake the man off him.

The heart monitor beeps agitatedly and a nurse hurries into the room to see what the commotion was. Chanyeol has startled awake and Baekhyun is thrashing violently in his bed, refusing to listen to anything anyone has to say.

“Get out!” Baekhyun yells. His voice is scratchy and sore but he continues to scream and scream. “Get out, get out, get out!”

Chanyeol is taken aback by the scene and staggers away from the bed as the other nurses push him away. He watches as they restrain Baekhyun, his heart hurting as they inject a sedative into him to calm him down. Within minutes he’s asleep, and Chanyeol finally lets the first of his tears fall.

--

“I think it’s best if you give Mr. Byun Baekhyun a bit of space,” the doctor informs him as they stand outside the ward. “It seems like your presence agitates him and it’s in my patient’s best interest that he avoids anything that could possibly stress him.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding, though he wants to laugh at the irony of it all. He’s listed as Baekhyun’s emergency contact but he’s the very reason that Baekhyun was hysterical.

“Does he have any other family we could call? We would need someone to sign him out once his condition has stabilized.”

Chanyeol gives the doctor Jongdae’s number before he goes to call the man himself.

“Will you please take care of him for me?” Chanyeol asks pleadingly as he looks at Baekhyun’s sleeping form through the glass windows.

“Don’t worry, I will,” Jongdae reassures him. But all Chanyeol wants is for Baekhyun to forgive him.

--

“You need to tell him,” Jongdae says as he hands Baekhyun his daily concoction of pills along with a glass of water. Baekhyun washes them down with water and sets the glass on the coffee table.

“I’ve already signed the divorce papers,” Baekhyun counters, as if that’s reason enough not to tell Chanyeol the truth.

Baekhyun protests when Jongdae lifts his shirt but holds his breath as the latter’s fingers run across the scars that litter the expanse of it. They’re hideous. But Baekhyun knows he deserves every single one of them. Nothing changes that.

“He needs to know…”

--

It’s another week later that Baekhyun sees him. Chanyeol.

He isn’t alone. He’s with the very reason that had caused their marriage to turn into ruins.

He’s with a pregnant looking Seohyun. Seohyun who’s pretty and has long, dark hair that falls in waves. Seohyun who gets to have Chanyeol’s arm curled around her waist. Seohyun who is carrying Chanyeol’s child.

Baekhyun’s instinct tells him to run, but his heart wants him to hurt. His heart wants him to ingrain the image of Chanyeol, happy as he had been in the past, with someone who was not him.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol breathes when their eyes meet. Seohyun realises what’s going on and with a smirk on her tinted lips, she leads Chanyeol towards his soon to be ex-husband.

“Hi, you must be Baekhyun?” Seohyun greets with a smile that makes Baekhyun want to puke.

“I am,” Baekhyun says, holding his head up high. “You must be the Chanyeol cheated on me with?”

Chanyeol’s expression is all sorts of guilty and Baekhyun is glad for it. He’s also glad for the look of anger on Seohyun’s face.

“At least I’m not the ,” Seohyun gives a sickeningly sweet smile once she recovers from the shock of having been called out for her actions. Baekhyun seethes in anger but manages to hold himself back.

“Just so you know,” Baekhyun says as he holds a hand to his stomach, “Maybe Chanyeol had been the problem. I mean, I did get pregnant right after we split. Maybe Chanyeol’s the problem and you’re the one carrying another man’s child, Seohyun.”

That wasn’t exactly how he had planned on telling Chanyeol but at least Chanyeol now knows. He doesn’t stay long to see the look of surprise on Chanyeol’s face.

--

There are angry knocks on his door while he’s having his dinner of instant ramyun. Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he makes his way towards it, expecting Jongdae to come barging in as he complains about his boss yet again.

Instead, it’s Chanyeol. A dishevelled looking soon-to-be ex-husband who’s in his slacks and oversized hoodie, a black cap to hide the mess of his hair. Jongdae must have caved.

Baekhyun slowly closes the door behind him and leans against it, watching as Chanyeol paces the small room angrily.

“You’re pregnant.” That’s the first thing he says after a minute of angry pacing. Baekhyun’s arm curls around his swelling tummy, a habit he has developed in recent weeks. Chanyeol catches the gesture and stares at it, a deep frown etched onto his face as he struggles to comprehend the situation.

“Whose is it?” Chanyeol demands. He doesn’t mean to shout but his loud voice reverberates off the walls of Baekhyun’s tiny apartment, making Baekhyun flinch.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun whispers as his gaze falls to the floor, realising how much of a he really sounds.

“!” Chanyeol cries as he slams a fist onto a wall in anger.

“Why the do you care!” Baekhyun yells, feeling a little more defiant. In fact, he’s getting angry, too. “We’re getting a ing divorce! Who I sleep with is none of your goddamn business!”

“It is when you still have my ing name in yours!” Chanyeol screams back.

“I don’t want your stupid name!” Baekhyun cries petulantly. “I hate your ing parents!”

“And why haven’t you ing signed the papers!” Baekhyun shrieks hysterically.

“Because I still ing love you, alright!?”

The confession makes Baekhyun’s knees shake. How dare Chanyeol say that when he’s the one who ruined them?

“You’re the one who decided I wasn’t good enough anymore,” Baekhyun whispers, trembling. His gaze falls to the floor once more and he can’t even bring himself to wipe the rapidly falling tears.

“I-I,” Chanyeol starts to say, guilt clawing at his heart. He turns the table on Baekhyun. “Well, maybe it’s because I’m tired, alright?”

Baekhyun looks up at this, wipes his tears with the back of his hand.

“I’m tired of having to listen to my family talk about you all the goddamn time,” Chanyeol cries, lets out all the pent up emotions inside of him. Things Baekhyun believes he has held inside of him for the longest time. “I’m sick and tired of relatives