I Hate You, I Love You

Just Stay, Can You?
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Taeyeon looking at Jessica’s back who slowly fade away. She’s really leaving for Taeyeon, to sleep alone tonight

The older girl sighed, there’s nothing could stop the ice princess though. She’s mad, and Taeyeon is the reason. Even though she didn’t make Jessica’s disappointed on purpose, but the younger girl already losing her temper

Jessica usually being calm, but tonight she’s hit her limit itself

Taeyeon gained all of her strength to wake up. She takes the IV fluid and brings with her, strides out to the bedroom and looking for Jessica

Taeyeon hopes that everything could be fixed as soon as possible

 

Feeling used
But I'm still missing you
And I can't see the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips

 

Jessica just ran into the door of her working room when a tiny figure leaned on the frame while bringing IV fluid. Taeyeon’s usual face is pale and now is paler than usual. The older girl muttered her name which make Jessica sighed

“Sica… I’m sorry…”

“Taeyeon-ah…” Jessica reached out to Taeyeon so that the older girl could leaned her body into her “You need to rest”

“I can’t…” Taeyeon raise her head to meet Jessica’s gaze “I can’t sleep if you still mad at me”

“I’m not mad. I just… Worried”

“Sorry” Taeyeon muttered again, now she supported her head with the arm. Looks like her head pounding so hard this time

“Let’s back to bedroom” said Jessica while takes IV fluid from Taeyeon’s hand. She guided her girlfriend to their bedroom

Jessica put Taeyeon’s body on the mattress while wishing her a good sleep. Much to Taeyeon’s dismay, Jessica once again leaving her alone

The reason is, Jessica feels her heartbeat suddenly rising. It makes her in pain, she’s almost running to find her bag and luckily, she found her medicine. She gulped it and her hand gripped on the couch

“Gosh…”

The pain is coming harder, as Jessica opened the news about Taeyeon and her bunch of fangirls. It’s so usual, but with Jessica’s condition now, it makes worsen

Moreover, she felt unwanted before

Her mind is occupied, she couldn’t control herself

“Taeyeon... Taeyeon…” Jessica is mumbling by herself. She just feeling the pain as she called her girlfriend, who couldn’t hear it for now

 

And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

 

“It’s already okay” said the doctor after pulled of the IV needle from Taeyeon’s arm. Minjin smiled as the doctor excused for a leave

“Where’s Jessica, Unnie?” Taeyeon asked as Minjin helped her to stood

“She’s asleep at the couch”

“Couch? How can?”

“I don’t know, I was going inside with your card from last night and found her asleep at the couch. I don’t even bother her, she looks very tired”

“She must be…”

“Anyway, I bought some foods for you and Jessica. I placed on the kitchen. I should go, are you okay if I leave you alone?”

“It’s okay, Unnie” Taeyeon smiled “Beside, Jessica is here as well”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow”                                            

 

I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

 

Taeyeon’s head isn’t heavy as last night. She could walk properly into living room where Jessica is sleeping. She knitted her eyebrows, did Jessica always being so messy like that? It’s looks like her bag scattered and her phone

Yeah her phone just lying at the floor, so strange

Taeyeon kneeled down to takes Jessica’s phone. She unlocked the phone and found a cute selfie of them being Jessica’s wallpaper.

When she opened the last thing which Jessica looked at her phone, she furrowed her eyebrows

Jessica was looking at her news last night, about how Red Velvet’s member being her fangirl, aslo Seolhyun. Not forget to Pristin’s member, also Jisoo from Blackpink

Taeyeon tore her gaze from Jessica’s phone and found the medicines were scattered, did Jessica being so shaken until she could take her pills normally

Being a good girlfriend, Taeyeon decided to cleaning the mess

When she takes Jessica’s bag, she found her photo as well. Jessica always being thoughtful with something small like that. Also on her wallet, Taeyeon can find her photo as well

“I’d never know that her medicines are so much like that” Taeyeon muttered as she took the bag of medicine and reading each one label. Almost 7 kinds of medicines which Jessica should eat everyday

“Taeyeon, what are you doing?”

 

I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

 

Now, Jessica is shocking after saw her girlfriend standing next to her while holding her medicines. She’s indeed very worried, if Taeyeon know how to release her anger, she would be throwing everything in this room

“I’ve told you” Taeyeon turned her gaze and staring coldly at Jessica who hardly stood “Why are you so stubborn?”

“Taeng…” Jessica gulped her saliva, nervously

“Why were you looking about my news? Why are you being so stubborn, coming here even though you are tired? Why?!”

Taeyeon raised her tone, left Jessica speechless. For a person who fainted yesterday, Taeyeon indeed having so much power for yelling at Jessica

“Because I miss you!” Jessica bursts on her anger. She scrubbed her hair while yelling at Taeyeon “I miss you! And you made me unwanted. Why?! Why Taeyeon?!”

“I’ve told you that I’m busy!” Taeyeon also yelling at Jessica, who she regretted immediately “Sica…”

Jessica already flopped on the couch, face buried on her arms

Her shoulder is shaken, Taeyeon knows Jessica is crying and Taeyeon can’t stand over Jessica’s tears

“Sica…” Taeyeon kneeled down in front of Jessica who swapped her arm

“Go away…” said Jessica in the middle of her cry “I hate you. I really really hate you”

Taeyeon moved to beside Jessica, wrapped her waist with her arm. Slowly, she pulled Jessica on her embrace when the younger girl didn’t resist it. Jessica buried her face at Taeyeon’s chest and crying harder

The older girl kissed Jessica’s side of head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.  

“I miss you too” Taeyeon whispered “I miss you more than you know, Sica”

Jessica’s cry now turned into sniff, signing that the younger girl now already calm

“It’s hard for both of us” Taeyeon said again “We missed each other, and we didn’t have many time. It’s so usual, Sica”

“But baby. Why don’t you trust me? Why are you looking at the news?” Taeyeon pulled herself from a hug and makes Jessica faced her. She leaned in and kissed Jessica’s forehead, a long kiss

“Just give me a reason, Taengoo. Give me the reason why we should be like this?” Jessica said while hiccupping

“Because I love you so much. I won’t lose you” said Taeyeon “You are the reason why I still be here, standing as Kim Taeyeon”

Jessica didn’t reply Taeyeon’s word. She just leaned closer to hug Taeyeon again and let the vanilla scent soothing her down

 

I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember

 

After the incident at their apartment last week, Jessica and Taeyeon’s relationship seems back to normal. They never met each other as Taeyeon had so many schedules regarding her newest album. Jessica also preparing her Spring collection, which will be releasing at the end of March

Taeyeon’s birthday seems so plain. Jessica insisted for having a dinner but Taeyeon said that simple dinner at the apartment seems okay as long as they are together

Taeyeon using Jessica’s health again for making the younger girl accepted her offer to had a dinner at the apartment

“There’s nothing we should be sad, Baby” Taeyeon pecks Jessica’s forehead as the younger girl stirring her carbonara. Taeyeon who sat beside her just chuckled seeing her behavior

“It’s been so long I don’t see you soooooo clingy and spoiled” Taeyeon caressed Jessica’s cheek “Baby, stop pouting”

“We’re never met in the rest of month, Taeng. I should be happy when met you but you made it so simple”

“As long as I’m with you” Taeyeon trailed her lips from Jessica’s nose to her lips to give another peck “I do love it, Sweetheart”

“Sweet talker” Jessica put her fork and wrapped her arms on Taeyeon’s neck “Heard that you add a tattoo?”

Taeyeon showed her finger, which word F. printed there

“What does it mean?” Jessica asked while Taeyeon snuggled their noses together

“You guess”

“Fine?”

“Yeah” Taeyeon leaned closer again to pecks Jessica’s lips “Because our relationship would be fine”

“Hmm” Jessica closed her eyes when Taeyeon’s breath tickled her face “Happy birthday”

“Where is my gift?” Taeyeon smirked

“Me?” Jessica laughed “On your car, silly. You don’t even notice when I put a big box on your trunk last time”

“But I prefer having you as my gift, for tonight” Taeyeon moves her arms to Jessica’s and slowly high her up. It makes the younger girl circl

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Comments

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Srvtyou #1
Chapter 2: Calm tae, your sica just needs distance. Just trust her, and remain the sweetest human being for her
Kakka16 #2
Chapter 22: Your story is good!!!!
AJimJae28 #3
Chapter 1: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1261986/1'>Back Hug</a></span>
Hello author 👋 I like every part of the story so I can't choose which one is the best because every part of it is beautiful
Rpr363
#4
Chapter 14: Yeah...it's so sweet...i'm afraid that i will have diabetes ....🥰🥰
Rpr363
#5
Chapter 11: That is not silly thing but that is the fact i guess🤭🤭🤭
Rpr363
#6
Chapter 9: Yes ur right, the anxiety disorder is more severe than that actually. So we need extra effort to handle it, and sica should tell everything to taeyeon..not to hide it, but sica always be sica.
soopiatoon
#7
Chapter 3: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1261986/3'>Fine</a></span>
<span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1261986/3'>Fine</a></span>
It hurts, reading this chap its not fine
soopiatoon
#8
Chapter 2: Whoa..living separately? Hope not break up
soopiatoon
#9
Chapter 1: Just starts reading this story, i love angsty taengsic kekekke thanks authornim
Uchie_0903 #10
Chapter 21: This Chap is so sad