“ good evening sir.” Sunggyu greeted his father after the butler had left, “ I was told he came here”

“and you must know by now that he already left. I can’t make him stay” the head of the Kim family stood with his back to his son facing the large window of his office.

“ it’s okay sir. We’re tracking down every possible places he might go to” Sunggyu said still bowing“ I apologized for things to have come this far”

“ you have nothing to be sorry. How are you doing?” the head of the Kim family turned to face his first born.

“ I’m fine sir. I was just busy” from the moment he entered the office not once did Sunggyu tried to raise his head high enough too meet the eyes of the man who raised him.

“ that’s not how your brother describe the situation. I contacted the hospital just now, they told me everything. And you why you only called me father when you called me to apologize?”

“ I didn’t want you to worry about nothing sir. Rest assured I already made plans for the company to continue if anything happens. I’m sorry sir”

“ that’s not what I’m asking about Sunggyu. I want to ask as your father”

“ what the doctors said was true sir.”

Soohyun made a deep sigh followed by a sad smile, “ You know I remember when you and your brother were just kids I thought wouldn’t it be nice if things could just remained like that forever. I wasn’t afraid that you’ll grow up and leave, I was worried that the both of you will never come home again. But then the home I thought I created for my kids to be the safe place they can run to became the source of all their nightmares.”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything but there always has been a lump of words stuck in his throat that until now he can’t let out.

“ I’ve already made contacts to find you a donor. We found one before I’m sure we’ll find one now. Leave your brother to me and focus on yourself.”

“ sir… I’m… I’m sorry. I promise you that I will take care of this family and I’ll do it even beyond my last breath.”

“ Sunggyu that’s wasn’t a request. That was me asking you to do it, as a father it’s my duty to make sure my kids are safe and well.”

“ When I told you I will repay what my mom and I did to you I wasn’t planning on doing it halfway sir.” Sunggyu corrected.

“you and your brother are the same. You always think of how you can be useful to others. Haven’t you thought for once that as your father I ask nothing more but the welfare of my children?”

“ sir, calling you a father is a privilege for you and I both know who really I am” Sunggyu bowed politely.”

The head of the Kim family could only smile and shake his head at the stubbornness of his kids.

On the other hand, Sunggyu could feel the lump of words stuck in his throat slowly emerging. Words he kept silent not because he care that the world will know but words that he knew if he let out will officially make him a stranger to the people he cares about.

“ I am not your son. It’s impossible for you not to know who am I. I’ve been hospitalized since I was a kid after the accident you must’ve known already”Sunggyu tried to smile but his hands were trembling he had to hide them, “ After what my mother did to your family I have to right to be called as your son.”

“From the start… even if you weren’t born yet I knew you’re not mine. I had this feeling all along,” Soohyun walked up to his firstborn, “ but then when I first saw you and you had this tiny little hands I thought to myself. I don’t care if we’re not connected by blood I am your father and I will love you as any parent would to their child.”

“but… but because of me” Sunggyu’s tears start to fall as he quickly lowered his head down, “ because of me our family… I destroyed everything.”

“ it was never your fault you and your brother did nothing. I love the both of you. It was the adults who made the decisions not thinking what could happen.” Soohyun put his arms around his son, “ I’m sorry that you and your brother had to suffer. Right now I want to help but I realized I was not the one your younger needed all along. Help him son, please.”

 The morning three days after Myungsoo had gone was bleak and grey. Sungjong sat leaning by by the hallway looking at the front door hoping that any moment it would opened. By the floor beside him lay still an empty coffee mug which have been filled thrice already for the last 12 hours that the owner had sat by the door.

He received a message from Myungsoo saying he’s fine and would be back soon after tying up loose ends.

Before that was messages asking Sungjong to forgive him.

How soon he asked back.

The only reply he got was a bright yellow circle painted with a smile.

For the past three days Sungjong had finished all his school activities earlier than usual and the res of time he spend looking for Myungsoo. Among the crowded streets he looks for the familiar face he came to love but end up with nothing. He even tried to send humor messages hoping the other would reply.

Myungsoo where are you? You promised my sisters you’re going to take care of me. Are you ditching me! T0T

Sent.

I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten anything and I won’t eat if you talk to me. This house is too big!

Sent

I promise I wont beat you up when you go home. (¯ ^¯)

Myungsoo, I can’t forgive someone if they’re not in front of me. Go back to me please.

“When it’s not you that’s kidnapped it’s him that’s missing” Woohyun sat next to his friend to get Sungjong’s attention. Ever since Myungsoo was gone the all have been asking questions why but their dongsaeng only shakes his head.

“ hyung.” the latter made a small gesture.

“He’s still not home?” Woohyun ask looking far ahead.

“No. Though he sent me a message that he’ll be fine. It’s been three days”

“ You know it’s like the both of you are a perfect match, maybe that’s why you two seemed to burn each other out.”

“ I don’t know anymore hyung. I just want him to be safe”

‘you know, when I was looking for him at their department I saw this guy who somehow resembles you. He was a bit taller though.”

“Sungyeol?” Sungjong asked.

“ ah so you knew him.” Woohyun smiled.

“yeah… I mean he was famous in the campus right”

“I was surprised he knew you too. But what was interesting is the hood he’s wearing, it seemed so familiar I was sure I’ve seen it before.” Woohyun said calmly.

“hood?”

“it was the same hood the person was wearing in the photo of Myungsoo supposedly kissing you. I always thought it was somehow odd that the looked familiar to me. I’ve never seen you wearing one and it made me wonder dongsaeng, tell me honestly are you and Myungsoo really a couple?”

Even if he were to deny Sungjong’s expression already betrayed him. All he can do is rub his palms to his face and come out clean.

“ so its true. I keep thinking about it and I thought why did you do it? And why do you keep doing it?”

“ I thought I would just be helping a friend. Myungsoo he had this trauma when he was kid and I thought I could help him. Then I start to think why do I do this? Why can’t I seem to just end things? Am I just really trying to help?” Sungjong sighed between his words, “ then I realize it’s the only way I could stay beside him even if it means being a replacement for someone else. I know I’m hopeless”

Woohyun made an “oh” expression on his face, “ know why I still won’t believe what I knew? That guy he called me a few days ago in a calm voice begging me to take care of you while he’s gone. He even asked me to make sure you sleep, eat drink your medicine.”

The younger boy didn’t say anything but is looking confused.

“You should punch that idiot when he gets back.’ Woohyun smiled as he speak, “ you know up until your face gave it away I swear I could never tell that you two weren’t dating. In everyone’s eyes you two were these annoyingly sweet couple who couldn’t separate from one another. I mean it couldn’t just you alone making it happen right? As they say it takes two to tango”

Sungjong made a blank stare at his friend.

“ ah would you look at that? ” Woohyun smiled at his dongsaeng as he stood up, “ the idiot has returned. Make sure he knows how worried are you, okay?”

From across the street Sungjong saw the familiar silhouette of the person he had been looking for. When their gazes caught on with each other the younger boy couldn’t move. Only his tears started to fell down as the other made his way towards him.

“ Hi, here I was hoping I’d be greeted with a kiss” the latter smiled as he held his hand for Sungjong to take, “ I’m sorry, I left you alone these past three days. I was making amends.”

“You… making amends? You idiot! How long do you think I’ve been waiting” Sungjong made the strongest punch he could muster in the tired and weary body of his. It sent the other unto his knees.

“ I guess…ha I deserve that.” Myungsoo smiled trough the pain.

“ you!” the younger boy’s face was flushed and his mind was blank grasping for words to say, “ You! You apologize. You say that you’re sorry!”

Myungsoo remained on his knees by the street looking at his boyfriend, “ I’m sorry. I keep doing the opposite of what I want to show you. I wasn’t there when you needed me and it cost you a lot. You’ve been there with me but I did nothing. I’m sorry”

“You’re saying sorry for the wrong reasons!” Sungjong’s mind was still a blank sheet and only his body seemed to react to Myungsoo with a kick, “ Say sorry for leaving me! For making me worry where you’ve been! For not returning my calls or messaged for just saying to wait for you! I was worried.

Another kick went flying to Myungsoo’s direction.

“Augh. That really hurt just now” Myungsoo groaned and pretended to be in great pain as he stood up and slowly approach his boyfriend.

“Don’t come near me. I’ll punch you”

“ it’s a risk I’m willing to take”

“No you. Stay. Stay away” Before the young architect student could throw another punch his boyfriend caught his arm as well as the other.

“I’m sorry I made you lonely. Sungjong-ah” Myungsoo said capturing Sungjong into a hug, “ I missed you”

That instance Sungjong buried his face in his friend’s chest and cried hearing the words he so wanted to hear at least once in his life, “ I missed you too, idiot.”

From afar Woohyun stood shaking his head with a smile on his face, “ either these two are completely clueless about love or they’re trying to make a record for being ignorant to their feelings.”

On the other side of the street Myungsoo’s phone rang while Sungjong still had his face buried in his boyfriend’s chest as he starts to notice the number of passersby gawking at them.

Jeez you two go home and stop acting like long lost lovers in the middle of the street. You’re being unfair to those who want to experience true love.

...............................................................................................IDeviant.......................................................................................................