Myungsoo opened his eyes into a dark cold room, outside the wind was fiercely banging by the small round window. The heavy snow fall blanketed the outside world in a deep silvery hue.

He reached out and touched the doorknob and slowly turns it open. Suddenly he was outside standing in the snow. Bright vicious light filled the sky as people with no faces passes him by.   

I told you not to come out!

This is your fault!

No it’s not! I just want to come with you!

This is your fault! You deserve to be abandoned for what you did!

You killed mom!

No! I didn’t!

Look! You’re a murderer!

Myungsoo was crying calling out to his mom. The car not far from him was burning down, the flames cackles against the darkness burning bright but the sky’s dark slowly eating up the flames.

The snow sluggishly turns into a horrid somber hue, soft white pieces of frozen water turns red into droplets of blood tainting everything it gets its hands on. Yet the when Myungsoo looked on his hands, blood has covered it even before the snow had fallen.

Myungsoo, why did you went out? A familiar cold voice called out to him.

Mom, I’m so sorry. Please come back, don’t leave me.

He was no longer a young boy standing in the snow, his mom was standing not far from him yet he can’t seem to reach her. “Mom, please, forgive me. Mom”

“Then, son.” The familiar figure of Myungsoo’s mom turns to slide in the snow close to him, as she comes near you can realized that it’s not a human but a ghastly figure badly burned and disfigured “ will you die?”

His mom’s voice asked in a frozen deep voice as her hands slowly chokes his son. “Will you?”

Myungsoo bolted from his sleep, sweating and catching his breath. The ringing in his ear stop as he scrambles on the bed. He immediately looks around to check where he is and saw that he is back in the bedroom flat. The window was closed and the curtains blocked his view of the outside world. He looked beside him and realized that there was no one beside him.

Panic crept in and he immediately calls for Sungjong’s name frantically checking the bathroom and the closet and for no logical reason under the bed.

“Myungsoo, what are you doing?” the door to their room opened and Sungjong stood holding a bottle of water.

“Why are you not beside me?! Don’t leave me!” Myungsoo said almost running for a hug to his “boyfriend”. “I thought you left me too. Dam* it! Don’t go. Don’t leave”

“Hey calm down, I woke up and got thirsty so I decided to get some water. Here drink some and let’s go back to bed.”

For the next two hours, Myungsoo did not dare go to sleep as he keeps glancing at Sungjong holding tightly the young boy in the hands. Only after making sure that Sungjong was fast asleep beside him that he was able to relax.

“I’m so sorry Sungjong-ah, I’m so sorry. ” he gently whispers as sleep finally sinks in. “ hyung, please help me. Hyung…”

The room finally fell into silence as Sungjong decided to opens his eyes. He’s been feigning sleep all along.

 He stared at the face in front of him slowly trying to reach as if he’s going to touch the person sleeping next to him. An inch away when his hands stood still, slowly retracts, and fell back to the small space between them.

Closing his eyes he was surprised that tears began to silently stream down his cheeks, he quickly wipes it off and tells himself to sleep and quickly forget everything.

Quickly forget what he heard and quickly forget what he’s feeling.

*the next morning.

“You’re still going to work?” Woohyun asked his friend. “ You should aim for the contest, everyone’s doing the same. If you win you get to study in Europe and that’s every architect’s dream!”

“Yeah, but I can do my project and work at the same time” Sungjong replied.

“ There’s still classes you know, are you trying to kill yourself or something? Did you get a good look in the mirror lately?”

“yeah” Sungjong’s reply was brief. I was planning on quitting but I do I won’t have an escape where I can think of anything else other than him. At least when I work I get distracted and for a moment I can forget my problems. But at the same time the reason why I want to stay working is that my heart can’t stay still whenever he’s around.

“even your boyfriend thinks you need to stop working” Woohyun finishes.

“Huh? Who did?” Sungjong asked.

“Myungsoo went to the dorm the other day I saw him and we had the time to have a little talk. He’s worried about you but at the same he doesn’t want to intrude in you decision”

“He said that?” the young boy kept asking as if he was unconvinced.

“You think I lied” Woohyun acted as if he got hurt.

“Ah no that’s not what I mean, it’s just that if he wanted me to quit he should have told me”

“he keep saying things like he put you through a lot already and have cause you too much trouble that he wanted you to decide things on your own, or something like that. Did you two had a fight?” Woohyun asked, curiosity piqued when he saw his dongsaeng’s tired almost sad expression.

“If he doesn’t want me to be bothered he should have told me everything.” now Sungjong sounded angry, “ Hyung, am I that unreliable?”

“Hey now, I’m just an innocent bystander on this. Why don’t you two talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk when the other doesn’t even want to” Sungjong impatiently drums his fingers on the wooden table. “Besides we’re not even fighting”

Ah I think I’m gonna be in trouble. Woohyun silently thought. “Hey look here, as your hyung and as a friend I’ telling you don’t overwork yourself, if you do you’ll worry not only your boyfriend but your friends as well. I can’t afford to buy flowers and fruits every time I visit your love nest or worse the hospital!” Woohyun jokes, “ though I admit that we do have good looking nurses and it wouldn’t hurt seeing them every time I visit”

“Hyung! That’s why you get dumped! LoL” Sungjong said laughing.

“ Hey! Is it my fault that they have a beauty worthy enough to enthrall my hungry eyes? Though if I find my one and only I know I’ll never looked at someone else the way I look at her” the young man said in such a melodramatic voice he should have joined the drama club instead the party club. “ until I find my one I’ll continue to play with such beautiful encounters”

“If my sisters can hear you they’re probably gonna skin you alive hyung” Sungjong said.

“aww, come on. If it wasn’t for the fact that your sisters knew martial arts I would’ve pursued them relentlessly” Woohyun replied referring to Ai and Yuu whom he met during the college entrance ceremony. His fantasies were abruptly cut off when Ai tackled him down to the ground and Yuu threatening him to take good care of their little brother. *deep sigh I still feel traumatized every time I remember them.

“well I don’t want them to date a playboy anyways”

“Ey, Ca-sa-no-va for you, I ain’t a playboy I’m a lover who have a lot of love to give.” Woohyun winked. “ and speaking of someone who has a lot of love to give, here comes your Romeo.”

Myungsoo was standing by the door scanning the room for someone, when he saw his target his expression softened and walked towards it.

“Hey, you done?” Myungsoo asked his “boyfriend”.

 “Yeah, I just have to return some books you can wait here with hyung” Sungjong stands up not looking at his roommate in the eyes while talking.

“You two had a fight?” Woohyun asked after his dongsaeng had left.

“huh? No I don’t think we did. Why?” Myungsoo replied with his brows knit together.

“Hmm, he’s been acting restless a lot lately. I told him it’s a good time to quit working since we’re getting really busy”

“What did he say about working?” Myungsoo calmly asked.

“I think he knew he should stop but then something’s holding him back. I asked him him what you think about the situation, got nothing off him.”

“I wanted him to quit since before the incident, but in our situation I think work is the only thing keeping him up. I don’t have the right to interfere with that. I know that he has his thing before we became like this”Myungsoo paused, “ but I really, really want him to just stay beside me right now.”

..............................................................................Ideviant.......................................................................................