taint

APATHY
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I NEED SOMEBODY TO HEAL
SOMEBODY TO KNOW
SOMEBODY TO HAVE
SOMEBODY TO HOLD

IT'S EASY TO SAY
BUT IT'S NEVER THE SAME
I GUESS I KINDA LIKED THE WAY YOU NUMBED ALL THE PAIN

*
Lewis Capaldi

 

 

Luhan woke up with the feeling of a warm body pressed against his.

A small smile sparkled his face at such a feeling of comfort. It's almost as if someone really cares for him. And that's something Luhan hasn't experienced in a long time.

Yes, his friends cared for him, but this was something different. It was something more. Something warmer.

Eyes shut and still not fully aware of his surroundings, Luhan nudged his body closer the source of heat and suddenly something circled his waist, making his heart flutter with joy.

Luhan felt so good, just lying there with someone hugging him in his sleep. It just felt so good that Luhan never wanted to wake up...

The arm holding him pulled him closer, and Luhan felt the firm muscles of the body pressed against his back.

And then suddenly his smile faded.

He was supposed to be alone so...

A body...

Luhan bolted up in a sitting position and looked at the boy peacefully sleeping next to him.

Sehun?!

To say he was shocked was an understatement. Luhan was utterly out of words. Was he still dreaming?

Because why on earth would Sehun, who hated him so much, be there, sleeping with him.

Blood soon rushed to his cheeks and Luhan tried to carefully remove the arm which still held him tight.

Sehun groaned, clearly annoyed that someone was trying to push him away.

Luhan froze and waited but instead of releasing him, Sehun pulled him back on the bed and Luhan was once again laying.

Sighing he just welcomed the warmth.

What else can I do?

The voice didn't answer and Luhan frowned.

Why does everyone leave me when I need them most?

Luhan just shut his eyes and decided to let Sehun use him as a pillow. Who cared anyway. 

He knew that Sehun would never love him and he'll probably be disgusted if he woke up like this, that is why he wanted to move away before Sehun wakes, but the younger won't let go of him.

A few minutes passed and Sehun started to stir but soon after he was the one jumping out if bed.

Luhan knew this was coming so he braced himself.

I tried. I tried to move away. 

You didn't let me, though.

I am sorry.

It's not my fault...

"What the are you doing here?!"

Silence.

"Tell me you ing piece of , what the are you doing in my ing room and sleeping in my ing bed?!"

Silence.

Sehun wanted to slap the hell out of the freak who still lay on his bed.

"Get the out! I would drag you out with my own hands but you know what? I don't wanna catch anything from a like you!"

Tears formed in Luhan's eyes. How could Sehun say such things?

Annoyed that Luhan still hadn't said a word, Sehun just cursed and walked to the bathroom.

"You just ing tainted my life! You taint everything!"

Only when Sehun was gone, Luhan let the tears flow freely.

That's what I'm good at.

Tainting everything I touch.

 

There comes a point in life when pretending starts to hurt.

Now, pretending that everything between Baekhyun and Sehun was alright was a big misunderstanding between them, because Baekhyun knew.

He knew that even though Sehun did love him, it was nothing more than caring for a friend and to just be there for each other.

They didn’t even know how from a relationship of “best friend” they were labelled as “boyfriends”.

But Sehun had accepted it. So did Baekhyun.

What they didn't know was that they were only trying to find someone to lean on.

Someone who would make them forget and move on.

Move on from the love that had hurt them.

Baekhyun had been with Sehun for almost a year now. A long time in which they had grown closer. They had stayed with each other, tried to move on together.

But he knew…Baekhyun knew that while he had managed to forget and move on from his past, Sehun hadn’t.

And Baekhyun was afraid that Sehun will never be able to move on.

She had left him scarred for life.

Sehun was with Baekhyun, but his heart was still with her, and her only.

Baekhyun tried to make the younger forget. But ultimately he knew he couldn't.

Now Baekhyun couldn’t continue this anymore.

Not only he was tired but, now Sehun had Luhan.

And no matter how selfish it seemed to throw the innocent boy to Sehun, Baekhyun thought that maybe Luhan could make Sehun really forget.

He had tried for a year and failed…now it was someone else’s turn.

Baekhyun wanted Sehun to accept Luhan and let go of both him and, most importantly, of her.

Luhan might be able to make Sehun the way he was before...

That is why when he spotted Luhan that day at university, Baekhyun ran to him. There was no one around in the corridors so it was the right time to speak to him.

Luhan didn't seem really well, and a pang of guilt hit Baekhyun. He knew he was partially the cause of his misery.

He had hurt him together with Sehun. He never meant it though.

"Hey," Baekhyun said smiling.

He was surprised when Luhan smiled back, even though the boy was clearly confused and...scared?

"Luhan, I..." What was he supposed to say in such a situation?

It was so awkward for both of them.

Luhan being Sehun’s husband. And Baekhyun being Sehun’s boyfriend.

Life sure was a tragedy.

Sighing, Baekhyun gathered up the courage because Luhan was looking like he was about to pass out soon.

"Luhan don't be scared. I just wanted to talk about something."

Luhan nodded his head, uncertainly. 

"I'm really sorry about...about everything that...you know....happened...I..." again his words seemed to be stuck in his throat.

"There's no need to apologize," Luhan smiled and Baekhyun’s heart broke a bit more, seeing that smi

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Comments

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Myosotis_30
#1
Chapter 69: This story was a roller coaster for my heart, but it is so good 😍❤️
Selulululuhunnie
#2
Chapter 49: I knew iiiit, Min will do something for Lulu. What I didn't foresee is the illusion he made while in coma.
Selulululuhunnie
#3
Chapter 48: Oh my gosh, what a plot twist, oh sht
Selulululuhunnie
#4
Chapter 47: Wait, who is the doctor? It is one of the OT12 right? probably Kris? or Joonmyeon?
Selulululuhunnie
#5
Chapter 41: I KNEW IT! HE'S ALIVEEEEEEEEEE AND I'M SO HAPPY FOR MY LULU 😭😭 HE DESERVED TO BE LOVED.
Selulululuhunnie
#6
Chapter 35: Thank you sooo much, I knew Luhan will be alive for sure. Did Minseok do something? I just wanted Sehun to suffer from guilt, that includes Minah, Jongin and Kyungsoo. Even Jimin will bring the guilt he did to Luhan and Luna. He didn't even deserve to die that quicky
Selulululuhunnie
#7
Chapter 34: I hate them all, istg. They don't fcking deserve Luhan. They should be ashame especially Sehun. Just stay the fck away from Luhan.
Selulululuhunnie
#8
Chapter 30: They are all so fcking twisted, hurry Min, get Luhan away from these psychos
Selulululuhunnie
#9
Chapter 26: What the hell, they don't deserve Luhan! I hope Minseok will get Luhan and go back to China. If Luhan's not pretending, then his mind probably repressed his memories.
Selulululuhunnie
#10
Chapter 17: Everytime I read fics like this that Sehun's a fcking , that made me drive to write fics where Luhan and him are in reverse position. I really hate him here.