The night was long and the wind kept blowing right through my face; the breeze was perhaps disturbing me from the thought of series of possibilities that perhaps, she will come back. "She will come back,"  my lips spilled the disgusting truth amidst waiting for the arrival of the bus at exactly 10:13PM, it's the last trip that I'm waiting for and it's my mistake for not getting to the buses that stopped by and I swear to God it's taking too long. "She will." I heaved out another fruitful sigh as I look to my side, hoping for the bus to come sooner because I know that my body is longing for my bed not long ago - I know these eyes are too weak for me to still hold on. Perhaps, the anxiety that I have been keeping in my workplace will break down as soon as I take a seat on the last seat of the bus; my favorite place. 

Finally. I let out a contented sigh as the last bus arrived in the stop, as I carefully take my step inside everyone is taking their time in sleeping as they wait for the bus to arrive to their own destination, in line with that the bus driver is also looking so pale and sleepy. The sudden affliction of anxiety and depression suddenly pulled me out of nowhere as soon as I took my seat, my chest suddenly felt suffocated as I held my breath for merely seconds. Damn it, this could've waited until I go home. I have to be calm, well atleast I know the pain will only last for a couple of minutes and then I'll be fine. 

But I was wrong. It lasted for more than what I expected to estimate and suddenly, it dropped.

Invisible spiky toothpicks pierced through my skin as I once again, try to catch my breath. She's not coming back anymore. A voice had finally spoken through my head. At last, I know the reason why you're doing this to me. You have finally spoken. A glimpse of a shadow beside me has finally shown through the window where I'm looking at. This has been happening for days; the mere loneliness that I'm casually feeling has been accompanied by an empty shadow that has continually disturbed me with its silent weapon: regrets. Earphones, where are my earphones? I rummaged through my bag to find the small bag where I kept my own warrior: Music. As I pulled out my small black bag, I also checked if there was a possibility that I was robbed without knowing it. Wallet, Check. Phone, Check. How about my umbrella? Wait, who the will steal your umbrella? But it's still missing, someone might've stole it. Or I left it in the house. Darn it. I shrugged it off as I hastily put on the earbuds through my ears, played the music and boom. Everything was empty, I was living in the music itself, I was just in the mood as the music is giving me. Slowly with that- the shadow left without giving me the feeling of guilt and regret, it was quiet and a peaceful night. I was leaning my head against the bus' window as I was devoured with the mood of the song that I was currently listening to. Blag. A loud, irritating sound just interfered with my loneliness. From my perspective, I guess it was just a mere person trying to get his or her luggage into the bus - She or he maybe drunk, or maybe not. But let's face it - she or he is ruining the music. This has to be ing perfect, the sound that she made irritatingly interfered with the beautiful sound of the beat that the music was making, and with my favorite part, the cello. It was surprising that as soon as I thought about that part, the lady that entered the bus were holding a cello, it wasn't a luggage, but a damn huge cello. , how does she manage to hold that in her everyday life? Here comes my anxiety. Does she get numbs for that? Or... Does she manage to gain body mass or muscles? Or... Snap. "What are you looking at?" those glare in her eyes shot right through mine as she tighten the grip on her cello - pink cased cello. Her face was covered with the hand of the cello but I can see right through her eyes - she's unbelievably mad. But that smell is quite familiar.

Minutes have passed before I finally gained the courage to answer her question: "That seemed heavy." it was a short, emotionless answer before I went back to listening fully to my music, hoping no words come out from her lips. The woman who wore pink from her lips, down to her heels, took a seat right next to me. Yes, right where the shadow of loneliness sat. "It's been a long time, Wook." Her voice filled my lungs with air, the perfume was unbelievably familiar that I remembered going to the department store shuffling through series of perfumes to buy for my girlfriend's birthday. That voice sounded so familiar as it was my comfort whenever I get stressed and went home from the law firm. I was scared to turn my head. I was flustered to the point that I can't even turn my head. . Calm down, Chang Wook. I displayed a fake smile amidst the nervous, anxious filled face. "Where have you been all this time, Hyun-ah?" This is it, tears are ing falling down. The affliction is starting to rise from my toes up to my chest - this is awkward. I am the most stupid person that ever lived in South Korea: I asked the question that I can answer myself, the question that anybody can answer. "I went to focus on my cello career, Wook-ah. I thought you already know that." She looked upon me with those eyes once again - those eyes that I fell in love with as soon as I walked right into the salon we frequently go in together. "Ah, but you should've talked to me personally when I was still in the army." those words could've spilled from my mouth, but I couldn't speak with those eyes.

"I'm sorry I ended it that way, but I guess we're still fated to meet with each other." she stifled an awkward chuckle that everybody would obviously notice that it was fake. I went along and chuckled with her, it has been a really long time since I had this time with her - wait, let me correct that: it has been a long time since I longed this time with her. "An ill-fated destiny, I guess." I coughed with all I might, trying to clear up the awkward aura that I've just created. I saw her turn around and looked up to me as if she was purely disappointed about what I said. , at exactly 11:01PM, I declared myself as one. "I'm really sorry about what happened, Wook-ah. I want to start anew." a sigh was expelled out of . This is my first time seeing her so down that she couldn't even lift her head more to look at me. I looked at her from the side of my eye as I start to forget one bad thing hat she did from the past: Leaving me with a note just right after my military enlistment. "With you, Wook-ah." she heaved out another sigh again. I swear, those lips just expelled happy aegyos and chuckles through the years that we were together. She doesn't deserve to be like this. "Pardon?" 

Sang Kyung University - 12:03PM, 10th of June 1997

The school bell just rang right after I finished my lunch, I was still chewing but I need to hurry for Literature class. Damn, being 3 minutes late will get you 3 hits on the arse. Making it a manner to rush during the end of lunch time, I dashed through hallways of hallways just to get inside the classroom on time. In unfortunate turn of events, the touch in which I'm familiar of, grabbed me by my wrist and suddenly ran me off. "What the hell, Hyunnie." I gave her the confused, fierce look. I cannot miss Literature class again or I'll partly fail. I'm wishing for higher grades this semester so it'd be easier for me to pass the upcoming bar exam right after I graduate. "Just a little of your time, please" she sounded as if she was beaten up by thugs: she was stammering and in loss of words. I can hear her sob right through the breathing from . I pretended I didn't know, perhaps I whined in a manner where I'm ultimately irritated, frowning as I am dragged to our rendezvous where we'll always meet. "You always say that even when you know I have exams!" Seriously, this girl just keeps on interfering with my academics and all my major subjects but you know what? It's okay because it's her. It's okay to skip my literature class full of staring in a blank board just to look at the woman that I've been secretly looking to for series amount of years. It's okay because she'll be using my shoulder to cry on. It's okay be- "I don't want to pursue law," she finally broke the ice as soon as we took our final step on the rooftop. I knew she wasn't happy in studying law, right from the very start that we enrolled. Her parents stated that she cannot achieve anything when she pursues music, when atleast in Law she can live by herself in no time. "I know that, but how are you going to-" she shocked me by suddenly wrapping her arms around my waist, burying her face against my chest and pouring her heart out against my school polo — she's really sobbing and crying her heart out in devastation. "How can I do better in something that I cannot do? My parents kept on pressuring me to do this and that when I do not have the heart to do my best in studying law." I rubbed her back in response to comfort my one and only friend, she has been tough for too long but I know I cannot let her push through despite all of her hard work because I know she has had enough. "Alright, alright. I'll try to talk to your parents about it, hm?" she stifled a sarcastic chuckle as she replied: "Idiot, they don't even listen to me. How are they going to listen to you?" and with that, I was having a little thought on receiving a hit from her, but no. Instead, she wrapped those slender arms tighter around my waist, rubbed her dainty hands up and down my back and suddenly out of the blue, her crying stopped. "Thank you, Wook-ah. Thank you for putting up with me throughout these years." I let the moment passed before I hugged her just how tight she hugged me in a brief moment before I realized she was resting her chin against my chest this time, fully staring up at me like an innocent dog pleading for treats. I was looking into her eyes with a confused look and right from the moment I was about to ask her what the hell's up with those stare. Nam Ji Hyun — the only friend whom I adores for so long tiptoed and stole a kiss right from my lips. I was surprised not because of the fact that our lips sealed together after 4 years of waiting, but because who the hell would thought that the person I like will come to a point that this moment, confesses about liking me back?

"I left because I wanted to pursue what I wanted to do. I lived with myself and educated myself in music, I never actually thought my parents were right — the people in the industry of music are just cruel." Once again, I've heard the sob that I haven't heard of in many years. That cry wasn't something that I often hear but I'm sure there are plenty of reasons as to why her emotions are now in an outrage level and I cannot seem to do anything about it. I just froze, I couldn't do a thing. I'm supposed to be mad at her by now for leaving me without thinking how hurt would I be but my feelings are pulling me back into wanting to comfort her right in my arms. I breathe in, breathe out, trying to calm myself in the most possible manner. 

And there,

I wrapped my arms around her as I comforted her just the way I do when she's out there stressed from all her works. Even though my stop is near, I don't care. I waited for Ji hyun all my life. If I don't marry this woman, I won't marry anyone else. Eight goddamn years for this genuine, gentle, bubbly woman. This year will be my last trip, and willl be the last that I will make this woman wait. I will make her wait no more. "Chang Wook-ah." her angelic voice whispered against my shoulder. Her breath still takes away what I am and pulls me right into a track where I shiver. This young woman smiled as she looked up at me and left me dumbfounded as soon as she left a soft peck on my lips, innocently smiling at me before even whispering. "Our stop's here." And that's it, that's the only thing that can make me freeze in just a second. I placed my hands firmly on her waist as I looked down at her. This is it, I won't let this time pass by once again. I pressed my lips gently against her soft lips, lightly leaning it to deepen the kiss with hidden meanings that I wanted to relay: I missed her, I longed for her in such a long time that I didn't even eat. I suffered so much to the point that another day is just another day of desiring for her presence. All this time, everyday, all that ever comes into my mind is All that I am, longs for who you are. I long for your presence, my love. The kiss ended sweetly as I gained the courage to pull away. I looked at her lovingly as I've always looked at her in the past; We've always fooled around and she never really saw the true looks that I have for her.

"This is the Last Trip to Chung Yong Don." the bus driver woke me up of being lost in her eyes, but this bus surely is one of the luckiest days as I've found myself in the arms of whom I love the most, and the greatest feeling that I'll ever be grateful of is the disappearance of depression and anxiety - the shadow of grief. This day didn't turn out to be that bad so far.