I'm sorry

“I’m sorry but I can’t stay anymore…”

June woke up sweating bullets all over his body. His breath is raging, and heartbeat racing. Eyes dilating in the dark trying to gain his sight back. When he takes notice of his phone, he takes it and unlocks it, seeing the clock reads 11:48 PM. He tries to calm down but somehow his heart is still not at ease. As if he has the feeling something will happen, something bad.

He hears sound outside his door, slowly creeping through the room and opening the door ajar, he can hear loud sobs and screams alongside muffling sound that he recognizes as crying. He feels shock, recognizing the voices yet unclear of their urgency. He is still peeking over, not wanting to come out just yet and listen tentatively to what the others said. Not long after he hears sound of footsteps and Jinhwan with Yunhyeong come into view, both are dressed up in their jackets. Their faces pale with Yunhyeong having tears on his face. It makes June worried, what is happening?

He hears the leader’s voice from the kitchen, loud and urgent yet unclear. Like he is crying too. Then he hears Bobby’s name being mentioned and the scream ends. Hanbin enters his field of vision and he is in a rush. Before June could process on anything, he sees Jinhwan walking to the room he is in. But he doesn’t move to hide. Instead he let the older grabs the knob and pushes the door midway, surprises to see him behind the door. June takes the opportunity to inspect Jinhwan’s face.

The older is as pale as white sheet, sweating a bit but June wonders if those are even sweats. His face sunken and cheeks showing bones a little. Now only June realizes he is not the only member which is messed up.

“June-ah.” Jinhwan calls for him, but his voice is so hoarse. Confirming the younger’s suspicion of the older crying. He notices how Jinhwan wants to say something but only to stop midway, like what he is about to say is hard to let out. It scares June out greatly.

“I—Is something w—wrong with Chanwoo, hyung?” He bravely asks, knowing that nowadays all they care about is Chanwoo. Because everything is about the younger ever since the past few hell of the months. His heart beats even wildly at the mention of the younger yet even racing a mild when he waits for the older to answer him. Gasping for air a little, Jinhwan takes a hold of June’s hand and hold on it tightly. As if reluctant to let go. And then he says,

“He won’t make it.”

The clouds are heavy, the sky is dark. As dark and gloomy as the faces of people who comes today. There are many of them, from the most estranged of the faces to the most familiar that they know, all paying their respect to him.

His tired eyes looking around the places from the table he is sitting, people wearing black all over their clothes, the soft sobs and cries of others in the other room beside them could match theirs. It got him straight to the heart, deep and painful at how somber when it is only 6 of them sitting together huddle in black suit. Ever since they are completed, 6 is such a foreign number.

Yet now here they are, all 6 and broken mourning for the death of their last, Chanwoo.

Jinhwan closely inspects each of the members. Donghyuk hasn’t stopped crying yet, but he could never be worse than Yunhyeong. The older is a total mess that Jinhwan has to keep holding his hand all the time since their time in the hospital last night to avoid him from breaking further. Jiwon is here, finally, after his usual disappearance. But it’s as clear as the water staring before them at how lost his soul is. Probably with the one lying cold in the c