requested by @anarisss ^^ I'm so sorry that it took soooo long. I actually wrote this long ago, but I got carried away that the supposed fluff turn into angst and somehow think that it's not good enough + need more improvement and stuffs. Thank you for waiting TT  so this is the chapter you requested, hope you like it!! :)

 

It's passed 10 o'clock when Hakyeon finally stepped in to the dorm. Words can't describe how tired he was as his schedule was full from morning. His schedule was really pack that he had to eat his lunch in the car. He don't really have the appetite but he forced himself to eat, knowing that he need the energy to do his work.

He remembered how his stomach growl, wanting a dinner but he can't, he had to rush from one place to another. By the time he finished, he's already too tired to to eat. Rather than food, he needs a rest, it's more important. Walking in, he saw the cutie main vocal in the living room, laughing as he watch something at the screen. Without saying anything he flopped his body on his favourite couch. He moans, it feels good. So good to finally able to lie down.

"Are you okay hyung?" Jaehwan asked in concern. Looking at how chill Jaehwan was right now, Hakyeon assumed Jaehwan's schedule ended early today, or else he wouldn't be here in the living room right now.

Hakyeon gave him a tired smile before replying. "Yeah, just tired". Nodding, Jaehwan stand up and walked to the kitchen. He came back few seconds later with a glass of water giving it to Hakyeon. 

Hakyeon took the glass, he muttered a 'thank you' before gulping the water down his throat. "You don't have a schedule tomorrow, right hyung? Rest well then" Jaehwan said as he stared at Hakyeon. He suddenly noticed that Hakyeon is a lot thinner now. Well, Hakyeon losing weight is good if it's because working out, but knowing the older's schedule he must has loose weight because of the busyness. Just how many meals does his Hakyeon hyung has skipped?

Hakyeon hummed, agreeing. He swear he's going to sleep all day tomorrow. "I'm so worn out" he mumbled, closing his eyes.

Jaehwan slowed down the volume of the TV and scoot closer to the leader. He gave Hakyeon a little massage. Hakyeon purred in happiness as he felt Jaehwan's hand working on his body. "That feels so good Jaehwannie~"

They stayed silent for a few minutes before Jaehwan talks again "Hyung why don't you just go sleep in your room?", now realising that Hakyeon should just sleep on his bed in his room, not the sofa.

"I'm all sweaty. I need to wash first but I'm so tired." Hakyeon reasoned without even opening his eyes.

"can you wake me up in one hour?" He added after that, mumbling.

"Sure hyung" Jaehwan replied, though he know Hakyeon did not heard him. He can hear Hakyeon already snoring.

••

"Oh?" Taekwoon looked at Hakyeon lying on the couch like a dead man and Jaehwan who was sitting down, watching the TV.

"He's too tired" Jaehwan said not even bothering to look at Taekwoon. Taekwoon approach the tired leader. "Hakyeon, wake up" he shakes Hakyeon's body softly.

Hakyeon mumbled something in his breath and frowned, refusing to wake up. "Okay but at least let's get you to your room" Taekwoon replied to the soft mumbles while pulling Hakyeon to get on to his leg.

Despite Hakyeon's protest, he still followed Taekwoon, with the assistance of the man of course. Once they arrived in Hakyeon's room, Hakyeon did not wait anymore and head straight to his bed. "Change your clothes Hakyeon" 

Hakyeon replied something but his voice couldn't be heard. Sighing, Taekwoon went out to the room where they put all their clothes in. He grabbed Hakyeon's short and shirt that he usually wears to sleep. He went back to the room to see Hakyeon already sleeping.

He didn't bother to wake up the man, knowing that it's no use to do so. He pulled Hakyeon's shirt and jeans out from his body to be changed with the clothes he grabbed earlier. Hakyeon wouldn't even bother to wash up at this point. Well, at least he's wearing something more comfortable to sleep. Once he's done tugging Hakyeon in the comforter, he turned the lights off. "Thank you Taek" he heard Hakyeon's sleepy voice thanked him and he smiled. At least that's what he can do for Hakyeon as a friend.

••

Hakyeon woke up due to a lousy noises outside of his room. He glanced at the small clock next to his bed, it's already passed 12. He walked out and notice that the living room was empty, following the noises he finally arrived in the kitchen. He saw Taekwoon.... cooking? Or is it struggling making something to eat? He's not sure. But he could guess by the mess Taekwoon made.

He chuckled seeing Taekwoon's clumsiness and approached the man. Taekwoon turned his body, a little startled when he saw Hakyeon already at his back. "Good morning!" Hakyeon greets him, smiling.

 "Good afternoon" Taekwoon replied sarcastically. "Go sit first" he told Hakyeon.

Hakyeon complied and sat on their dining table. He heard Taekwoon mumbling while finishing his work. After a total of ten minutes waiting, Taekwoon finally put a plate of fried race with egg in front of Hakyeon, smiling proudly at his food.

"I thought you were making steak or something" Hakyeon said as he chuckled, making Taekwoon rolled his eyes.

"I only know how to make ramyeon, be grateful that you get to eat this instead of ramyeon"

"Yeah yeah thank you so much my saviour" Hakyeon grabbed the spoon and began eating. He groans as he finally get the taste of the food. "This is sooo good Taekwoonie! I'm so hungry ughhh the last time I ate was lunch"

Taekwoon look at him pitifully. "You always told us to not skip our meals but you're the one skipping" Taekwoon said, making Hakyeon feels embarrassed. "Okay I won't do it again" Hakyeon promise, knowing that Taekwoon would start nagging if he did not. Taekwoon rolled his eyes and they starts eating again.

"My lifelong friend" Hakyeon suddenly called Taekwoon. His feet playing with Taekwoon's feet under the table. "Thank you" he said sincerely. 

Taekwoon gave a nod and smile as a reply. They both did not say anything after that, focusing on the food instead. After ten minutes Hakyeon suddenly stop eating. He lifted his head from the food and called Taekwoon again. Taekwoom hummed in reply, he turned his head to Hakyeon to focus on him.

"I'm tired" Hakyeon muttered, running away from looking at Taekwoon's eyes. He uses the spoon to play with the rice left in his plate.

"What?" Taekwoon asked. He further his head to Hakyeon to hear what Hakyeon trying to say. Hakyeon let out a sighs. He put down his cutleries. "I don't know what I am feeling right now, Taekwoon. But I'm tired" He confess. It's been bothering him for these few days, the tiredness and the feeling like wanting everything to end. He don't feel anything. He don't feel happy doing his schedule like how he used to. 

"What do you mean? If you're tired, then rest" Taekwoon frowned, confused with Hakyeon's words. Yes, Hakyeon tired. Everyone is. The only thing you should do when you're tired is rest, right?

"No, it's not that kind of tired. I'm just... Tired of everything" Hakyeon explained, blurting out his words slowly while watching Taekwoon's expression. Taekwoon took a while to finally understand what Hakyeon really meant. "Hakyeon-"

"I don't know. It's suffocating, you know? I don't know what I want, I don't know what I'm doing right now" Hakyeon cut his words, explaining further. Taekwoon stayed silent, thinking what the hell he's supposed to respond to Hakyeon. He is used to people around him comforting him, but he never really comforts anyone. Hakyeon had never showed this side of him. That man always being so positive, there's nothing that could break him.

But looking at Hakyeon right now in front of him, it's making him speechless. Should he told Hakyeon to keep going, for the group? Isn't that selfish? Or should he just let Hakyeon to do whatever he want? If Hakyeon wants to quit, than he can. Is that what Taekwoon suppose to do? Accepting whatever decision Hakyeon choose? But he don't want Hakyeon to quit. 

Before Taekwoon could even give a respond Hakyeon talks again, "I'm done. Thank you for the food. I'm... going to sleep more" Hakyeon informed him before standing up and put his plate in the sink, leaving Taekwoon.

  ••  

 After thinking back and forth, Taekwoon decided that he need to talk to Hakyeon. Hakyeon has always been there for him so now it's time for him to be there for Hakyeon. That's what friends do, right?

"Hakyeon?" Taekwoon knocks Hakyeon's room door. He heard a soft 'come in' from the room after a few knocks. Without waiting much he turns the doorknob and walks into the room.

Hakyeon is lying on his bed hugging his pillow. Taekwoon take a careful steps, approaching Hakyeon. He sat on the bed, next to Hakyeon and rub the man's body softly as if Hakyeon is fragile and could break at anytime.

"Are you okay, Hakyeon?" He starts. He actually have sooo many questions to ask the man. What happened? Who hurt you? Who make you feel like this? Why are you tired? Are you giving up? You're not giving up, right?

Hakyeon sits up, he looks down and mumble "can I get a hug". Without thinking much Taekwoon spread his hand and pulled Hakyeon's smaller body into the hug. They hug for a whole three minutes not talking anything until Hakyeon broke the hug. "Thank you". Taekwoon shook his head. "tell me what happened" he demands.

"I'm just tired" he confess, looking down as he play with his fingers. He glanced at Taekwoon a little before continuing his words. "Like really really tired"

Taekwoon suddenly remembered how their leader have way more schedule compared to the others. Drama shooting, DJ, emcees for a few shows. Hakyeon is always the one to go out the earliest and only come home when everyone were already sleeping. He barely get a time off.

Taekwoon didn't know what to do. He seriously don't. He wanted to say something, to give Hakyeon the courage. He wanted to tell Hakyeon that he believes in Hakyeon and he know that Hakyeon can do this but the words stuck in his throat. Wouldn't it be selfish of him to tell Hakyeon to stay strong when the leader obviously is tired? He don't want to force Hakyeon.

  ••  

Hakyeon woke up a little late again today. He don't know how he fall asleep last night, he only remember hugging Taekwoon on his bed, telling the man how tired he is with everything. He had zero information about what happened after that. He almost died from shock of being late but he got lucky because the manager sent him a text telling him that his schedule for today are all cancelled. Weirdly. But he brush it all off. He then proceeded to check for the member's schedule for today.

Hakyeon doesn't know why, but him being a leader he feels obliged to know about the members schedule every single day. It's a habit for him to check on their schedule. Sometimes he would call them one by one to know about the member's whereabouts when they don't have official schedules. "You're like my mom hyung. Even my mom didn't check on me as frequent as you" the maknae once said to him, making him chuckles. He pinched the cute maknae's cheeks, telling him that he is their second mom.

Checking one by one, Jaehwan and Taekwoon both has musical practice, Hongbin has vocal class while Hyuk has dance class. Hyuk told him that he's preparing a dance cover for starlights. He can't help himself but feeling proud looking at how much the maknae work hard lately. His dances has improved a lot too! He couldn't find the group's rapper schedule though, but just he was about to call the rapper he received a message from Wonshik telling him that he'll be at the studio.

Seems like he's the only one who don't have anything to do today. Feeling bored, he forces himself to get up (he wanted to lazy around today but he can't since he has been lazy around yesterday) and get a shower. 

It would be nice to write songs too, right? Wonshik is there and maybe he can help him. He grab his phone and called the manager to pick him up.

After confirming that he's ready and dressed up comfortably, he went to the kitchen to search for food. The manager would arrive in five minutes to pick him up so he's thinking of making something to eat while waiting for the manager. He's not sure if there will be any food in the kitchen, since they usually would eat out but he just check anyways. Who knows today might be his lucky day to magically found something to eat in the kitchen.

Lucky. He really is lucky today. He smiles brightly when there's a packed sandwiches with a small note on the table.

'for : Hakyeon

eat this! don't starve yourself. & don't forget to eat lunch too. (though I'm sure you probably only find this when it's almost lunch time)

-Taekwoon-'

Hakyeon look at his phone, he chuckles when he notices that it's already 11:50 am. He opens his chatroom and send a chat to his lifelong friend.

"Thank you for the sandwich! I'll eat it well ^^"

••

Hakyeon joins Wonshik in the studio only for three hours before the rapper of the group shove him out of the studio. Telling him that he's going to focus on composing and Hakyeon should go back home to rest. Pouting, he complies and walk out of the studio slowly. He don't understand how much rest that he needs that Wonshik have to shove him away like that. He rest long enough yesterday so he wanted to do something today! Why can't Wonshik let him?!

He texted the manager that he's going home walking but the manager stopped him. Saying that he's near the company and he'll be there in five minutes to pick him up.

When he stepped in the car he was greeted by Taekwoon who was sitting on the passenger seat. He smiles happily and hugs the main vocal, feeling excited that at least he won't be alone in the house. "Taekwoon-ah!" He jumps to sit next to the man, leaning his body to him. Taekwoon weirdly accepted his clingyness and let Hakyeon lean on him. Usually he would complain, saying that Hakyeon is heavy or he's too tired.

"You ended you practice early today?" Hakyeon asked when the car starts moving.

Taekwoon hums. "Yeah, practice went well so they let me off early" he explained shortly. "How about you? How was your day? I thought you're with Wonshik?" Taekwoon asked back when Hakyeon didn't say anything.

Hakyeon pulled a face. "That rude kid, he chased me away!" He continues talking about how Wonshik tell him to go back and not disturb him for another minutes. Taekwoon keep listening to him and can't help himself from laughing looking at Hakyeon whining like a little kid.

Suddenly the car stops in front of a restaurant. Hakyeon look around the place, there's not much vehicles and he's not familiar with the place. "You're here" the manager said. Hakyeon widen his eyes in shock. What is happening?! "We're eating here?" Hakyeon asked the manager in confusion.

Instead of the manager, Taekwoon answered him. "Yeah, let's go" Taekwoon said, grabbing Hakyeon's hand to stepped out of the car. 

The manager smiled, "call me when you're done!" he told them before driving off the road. They both watched the car until it's out of their sights. "Let's go" Taekwoon pull Hakyeon to walked into the restaurant. The waitress smiles at them once they stepped in, without asking question she brought the two of them to a table. She gives the menu before walking out leaving them both.

Hakyeon looks around the restaurant, the tables and chairs are all empty. There's no customer besides him and Taekwoon. "Here" Taekwoon puts the menu in front of him. "Order whatever you want. My treat"

"Really?" Hakyeon stares at Taekwoon in disbelief. Taekwoon just nods.

Hakyeon starts to order his favourite meat when the waitress come. After finished ordering the food and drink, he looks at Taekwoon meaningfully. Taekwoon rolls his eyes. "Yes, you can order ice creams too". Taekwoon swore he could see Hakyeon's eyes shine hearing the word 'ice cream'

••

"Where are we going now?" Hakyeon asked as they are both walking down the street, heading to somewhere Hakyeon don't know. He thought they are going home after eating, but instead Taekwoon told him to follow him. It's getting dark, the members must be worried with the sudden disappearance of their two oldest hyungs. They have been walking for about fifteen minutes. If it's far then why not they just take a taxi or something.

"It's a secret" Taekwoon replies with a mischievous smile. Hakyeon rolls his eyes but just follow the slightly taller man anyways.

Hakyeon's mouth gape in awe when they stopped in front of a cafe, a book cafe to be precised. "Taek don't tell me...." he mumbles as he look around the cafe. "oh my god!!!"

A freaking book cafe!! He's been wanting to go to here since forever. But he's too busy with his schedules that he kept postponing the plan and ended up forgot about it. But he's finally here. The book cafe, it's a heaven for bookworms like him.

"Hakyeon-ah!" Taekwoon called Hakyeon half-whispered. Hakyeon is holding three books in his hand, smiling excitedly at him. Taekwoon gestures him to join him, he found a spot and already sitting, making himself comfortable.

This book cafe is perfect for both Hakyeon and Taekwoon. There's partitioned stall for the readers that wanted to read in privacy. It's very comfortable as each partitioned stall can fits maximum three people and provides cushion and blankets.

Hakyeon removes his shoes, he puts the books on the small table and crawl next to Taekwoon. Hakyeon sits cross-legged, grab one of the book that he had chose and starts reading it. They both sat in silence, Hakyeon reading the books while Taekwoon play with his phone.

After fifteen minutes playing with his phone, Taekwoon tear his eyes away from the phone. There's nothing much to do and he's getting sleepy. He never really like reading book, the only reason he bring Hakyeon here is because he know that the elder was stressed out and maybe Hakyeon can release his stress by coming here.

He stares at Hakyeon and his thighs, contemplates to do what's in his mind or not. Well, whatever. He thought. He scoots more closer to Hakyeon and lie down next to the man, head on Hakyeon's thigh. Hakyeon stops reading, looking at Taekwoon on his thigh. He smiles fondly at the man, patting Taekwoon's soft hair a few times and began reading again.

Taekwoon closes his eyes, smiling to himself. This is nice.

••  

Four hours later, the manager called them telling them that it's getting late. Taekwoon was reluctant to go, seeing how relax and happy Hakyeon is reading the books, he want to keep that peaceful face of Hakyeon. But it's getting late and they have schedule tomorrow. Hakyeon pouts when he told him that the manager is coming to pick them up, Taekwoon chuckles and promise to bring Hakyeon to the book cafe again next time.

They arrive home one hour later and Taekwoon has washed up, ready to sleep. But he have a problem, he can't sleep. He rolls around the bed for a few minutes before sighing and shuffled out of the room. The house is dark, everyone probably already sleeping. He went to the kitchen to grab a drink. He saw a light coming from Hakyeon's room as he was about to head back to his room. "Hakyeon?" Taekwoon peeked his head into Hakyeon's room.  Hakyeon was lying down on his bed, playing with his phone. "hmmm?" he looks up and smiles when he see Taekwoon at the door.

"You're not sleeping yet? Can I come?" Taekwoon asks with his usual soft voice.

"Sure"

Taekwoon didn't wait long as he jumps onto the bed, taking a spot next to Hakyeon. Maybe he could have a chat with Hakyeon until he falls asleep. Sleeping with Hakyeon sounds fun too, it's been a long time since they slept together. Plus, Hakyeon has a queen bed size, so sleeping together wouldn't be a problem.

Hakyeon puts his phone on the bed table and turn his body to face Taekwoon who was lying next to him. He pushes away Taekwoon's hair from his face and look at his face. "You wanna have a talk? You can't sleep?" knowing Taekwoon, that would be the reason why the man is now on his bed next to him.

Taekwoon nods. "yeah? okay what you wanna talk about?" he asks this time.

"hmmm I dunno."

Hakyeon play with Taekwoon's hair, humming a song while at it.

"You know" Taekwoon starts, grabbing Hakyeon's attention who was busy playing with his hair. "I miss this" he confess. "Spending the night with you, chatting"

Hakyeon nods. He missed this too. He's been busy these few weeks, they barely spend time together anymore. Hakyeon always falls asleep as soon as he reach his bed. "ah, I think I haven't thank you enough for the surprise. The foods, ice cream, book cafe" Hakyeon reminds. Words can't explain how happy he was to get to spent his time with Taekwoon, doing what he likes.

"You know Taekwoon. To be honest, being an idol, chasing my dreams... It's tiring. Like really... really tiring. There's times when I feel like giving up. I don't want to do this. But..." Hakyeon grabs Taekwoon's hand to hold and give him a light squeeze.

"Having you beside me making me stop thinking like that. No matter how hard it is, having you around me making me strong. I feel like I can do anything when I have you" he says sincerely.  He's very thankful to have a friend like Taekwoon. Taekwoon is like a power that pushing him to be strong, telling him that he can do it even when it's hard.

Taekwoon nods his head. He's happy that he can be there when Hakyeon needs him to. "You can lean on me" Taekwoon says, smiling.