Jieqiong’s PoV:

I thought once I was in a relationship, things would be easier.

I wanted to enjoy the honeymoon stage that every talks about: celebrating month-a-versaries, constantly talking to each other on the phone, supporting each other, going on late night excursions just because.

I wanted to spend every waking moment with the person I loved until we became sick of seeing each other's face. I dreamed of texting every day, getting meals together, movie nights on the weekends, stargazing at night and studying together.

I wanted to try new things, even if it's out of my comfort zone. I wanted to be completely carefree around this special someone and tell each other secrets that no one else knows. I wanted this person to tease me when I do something dumb. I wanted us to be comfortable around each other.

Is this… too much?

Now that I think about it, it seems like a lot…

But can’t we experience this over a period of time? Can’t we do things one step at a time? I’d be happy if we did just one of these things.

Sigh.

We started off having a “low-key”, almost secret relationship. I was okay with it at first because I didn't want everyone to know all at once, but there's one day I just want to shout out to the world that you're mine and I'm yours.

I'll be honest with you. (Yes you. The one looking at the screen?) I haven't been in an ideal relationship before. Maybe everything I've just listed sound like it comes from an unrealistic Korean drama or fanfiction. When I moved from China to study in Korea, I had attempted to maintain a long-distance relationship with a boy back home. Difficult was an understatement. Texts became less frequent. He never visited. I never visited. Video calls were rare.

Things dwindled down. It was nice how it lasted, but it honestly lasted too long. Maybe a year into the relationship we finally decided to officially end things even though I had lost any sort of feelings for him many months ago. I was sadder over the fact that I felt nothing than the fact that we had broken up.

Maybe that ruined my perception of men, but once I entered my first year of university, I had met probably the most amazing women ever (besides my mom). She was majoring in literature and minoring in applied music. She was a third year while I was a lowly freshman. Due to the education program I attended in China, I was a year younger than most of my peers. I guess because she chose her minor later, because despite our we had the same Theory II class together, which is how all of this started. When I first met her, she had come off as an unusually cold person, showing no emotion for anything. Bombed the first quiz, straight face. The teacher announces 9 pages of homework, straight face. Pop quiz, straight face. Aced the term project, straight face.

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