Chapter Twenty

Last Day

“Hoseok-ah!!!”

“! Clear everything before pulling him out!!” (Korean)

“Careful!!” (Korean)

“Hyung, wake up! Please!!” (Korean)

The noise of rocks thrown echoed in the dark as the boys move in a hurry. I run my palms on my face as I can’t recover from what I saw.

Blood. There’s too much blood..

I grab a hold of my hair and tug on it, . The harsh thump on my chest continues to weigh. I don’t know where to look at the moment, I don’t know what to feel. It’s just too overwhelming.

He can’t be gone. He can’t be..

I let out a strangled cry while clutching a hand in my mouth. It’s too painful.

The moment they cleared everything from Hoseok’s body, they stopped. We all stared at it, wide-eyed and hitched breaths. It took the guys a wrenching moment before they move and slowly staggered to the lifeless body.

“Hold his legs and hands together. I’ll support his head.” (Korean) Namjoon half whispered but the others managed to hear it. Namjoon’s voice broke at the middle, tears were flowing from his eyes.

Jimin and Jungkook went for Hoseok’s legs, while Jin and Taehyung positioned themselves on Hoseok’s torso. They carefully flipped Hoseok’s body and I closed my eyes when I saw how his eyes were firmly closed, his mouth slightly open. His face barely recognized due to the amount of blood, and his forehead hollow.

Suddenly, everything just turned to grey. The hope, our salvation. It’s all gone.

He’s gone.

The guys weren’t able to transfer his body when they all broke down in tears. They tried shaking his body, calling out his name.

But he never opened his eyes. He stayed still lying on the ground.

That’s where I realized that our time is over, my little string of hope snap and broke. I’m now holding onto nothing.

I snapped.

I’m now tired of trying to live when heavens are against us. Why can’t we just die now? Why do we have to prolong agony when we can cut it right away?

This time for sure, we’re going to die.

“O-oppa.” I heard Umji’s voice. Then Eunha’s along with Yuju’s. Until everyone’s voice come together with pleas and painful cries.

Their voices are so broken that I want them to show how broken I am too. Out of all, I want to be the one who’s more shattered, more hopeless and pitiful.

“What do we do?” (Korean) Yuju eyed everyone. Her hair is all over her wet cheeks.

“What are we gonna do now?!” (Korean) No one said a word; it was only answered by sobs and tears.

They continued to cry out for him, knowing that he’s no longer breathing. All he left us is a body we can’t get rid of off our mind. A lifeless body that will forever haunt us for the rest of our lives.

But, how could he? How could he leave us here?!

He could’ve at least brought me with him.

He did, he died along with your hope.

You’re dead inside.

“Hyung” Jimin plead with broken voice, crawling to Hoseok’s dead body. “P-please wake up.” (Korean) Shaking his body.

“You’re so unfair!!” (Korean) my heart fell to pieces when he suddenly screamed. He clutched Hoseok’s clothes into fist.

“How could you leave your family behind?! Wake up! WAKE UP!!” (Korean) Jin immediately pulled him away when he started to thump Hoseok’s abdomen with force.

This is all too much. Too much to handle.

Not to accuse it on anyone but my eyes landed on Yoongi who’s staring far ahead, his breathing labored and eyes red. Yerin is no longer by his side, she’s getting the girls together to comfort them.

His dark, lost orbs found mine, and we stared at each other. I might look like I’m blaming him, but I’m not. His eyes, instead of turning to stone, softened some more.

He’s taking it all to heart.

“Are you all going to blame me now?” (Korean) The rest turned their heads towards Yoongi clutching his still bleeding shoulder, he should be the usual he is right now. Except he’s not. And surprisingly, which brought more pain in my chest, he’s crying.

The most painful, audible cry came out from his mouth it almost crushed my heart. He held my gaze and I did too.

Someone clutched my shoulder and I turned to find Jin, he’s telling me avoid it. But I can’t. I need to get the heavy weigh off my chest.

I’m going to die if I can’t. Though that’s what I want right now.  

“You’re g-going to remember this..” I whispered while still looking at Jin, but my words are directed to Yoongi.

“You’re going to r-remember..” I sob. “T-that there was once a b-brave soul who helped you.. a-and saved your life even with your f-foul attitude.” A thump formed in my throat and it’s getting harder to speak with each word.

I turned my attention back to Yoongi who’s weeping. I don’t care if he understands. I want him to know that Hoseok made his choice, though the outcome came out worst.

“D-don’t you dare forget, Y-yoongi.” He snapped his head towards mine, and I softened my expression when I pointed at Hoseok’s body. “Don’t forget about h-him.” A cry immediately broke out when I finished what I said.

It’s so hard. I feel like being burned alive.

Jin gathered me in his arms as I cry my heart out. I held to him for dear life. I’ve never felt so afraid in my life, not even my father’s rage can top the fear I’m feeling right now. This is beyond those words, this is much worse.

We decided to cover Hoseok’s body with the clothing we used as makeshift bed, but we cleaned his face from all the blood first.

I remembered how my hands trembled as I rub the blood from his skin. I took my time staring at his face, allowing the memories I had with him shower my mind.

We didn’t have much, all I can think of is his bright, refreshing smile. His laugh, his screams and voice. How he made us smile and happy despite of the situation. His smile alone gave me strength, he made me strong.

And I can’t witness those smiles anymore.

I won’t be able to hear his voice anymore.

I wiped his skin clean but only to be replaced with my tears. I was hoping everything was just a dream. I’m still waiting for the moment I’ll be jerked awake from this nightmare.

But the pain, it’s too pure to be considered as a dream. Too piercing.

Despite the tears, I willed myself to finish off cleaning his body before we covered him. We wanted to dig a hole to bury him but there’s no soil to dig.

Yerin suggested to bury him again with the rocks, but we said no. We want to bury him properly. But I don’t think we could. We’ll be dead by the time the rescuers will find us.

The boys carried his body away from us, far from our sight. And we settled on our usual spot with defeated spirit.

Even Yoongi stayed with us, though he’s quiet ever since the incident. All of us are. Hoseok is not with us anymore to start the noise.

Just a thought of him already brim the corner of my eyes.

My heart breaks for Umji, she’s back with the way she was the first day. She’s so quiet, and blankly staring at nothingness. We tried talking to her but she never responds.

Eunha and Yuju is in each other’s arms, crying from time to time. Yerin is divided from calming the girls down and treating Yoongi’s wounded shoulder.

We never knew what happened to him before Hoseok went for him during the earthquake. But I guess its because of the falling rocks. He’s lucky enough Hoseok went looking for him.

And I can feel his gratitude, but also sorrow at the same time. They even fought before the incident. But Hoseok, oh God, he’s so selfless. He saved the guy who wished for his death. I firmly closed my eyes at the thought of that.

How could you be so pure, Hoseok-ah? You should’ve think of your family first.

“My real name is Hoseok.” I cried silently remembering his words.

“Jhope. I created the nickname just for fun, and I failed to notice that the name already embedded to me. I wanted to be everyone’s hope. To make them laugh and such.”

You did, you were my hope, Hoseok-ah. You made me laugh at my darkest.

“I’m telling you this, because maybe you’ll be the last people I’ll get to see before—”

Before you die.

And you did, you died. You mean it. How could you?

“I.. I-I’m sorry.” (Korean) Yoongi’s voice filled the deafening silence. Just then, Yerin who’s beside him started to sob endlessly. She controlled those tears earlier, again, thinking of us first. She kept us together, mostly doing all the things we failed because we’re too busy grieving.

She made Eunha and Yuju calm down, also made sure Umji is monitored, even chasing for the boys who wandered off trying to hide from our sight and brought them back.

All those time, she only let out a tear or two. But she broke this time. She only showed that side to me once, but now she’s breaking apart in front of us.

“I-it’s all m-my fa-fault.” (Korean) no one answered.

“N-now’s your perfect time to b-blame me. You a-all have the right to.” (Korean) Yerin was clutching his wrist and is shaking her head.

“N-no one i-is blaming yo-you. In-instead we’re thank-ful. You’re o-okay. I-I think H-oseok oppa al-also wants the same.” (Korean) Yerin’s voice was barely audible because of the sobs. So, Taehyung went to her side to comfort her since Yoongi is incapable to do so.

He pulled Yerin in my arms and she willingly leaned towards him, still crying.

I looked behind me to see another wave of tears from the re