Chapter Twelve

Day 4

I had a bad dream.

I just realized that taking a nap is a bad idea.

I remember waking up screaming, crying, and shivering. I can’t breathe, I thought I was going to die. Luckily, I didn’t. Jay was there, as usual, cradling me in his arms while I’m breaking into tears.

It’s hard not to, not when I dreamed about the night I humiliate my father, kissing the guy with a bottle of whiskey in my hand, my father pushing me on the ground and shouting at me. I dreamed about his face masked with anger and disappointment.

I dreamed about how he was glad I was stuck in this place, how his laughter turned into an evil one and ringed into my ears.

It’s painful, I can’t imagine him being happy that I’m here. Stuck and helpless.

“I-I’m sorry! I.. I c-can’t—” my voice broke as I struggled to ask forgiveness to my father. Hoping he could hear me from here. Hoping my plea can reach him.

I won’t do it again! I’m sorry, forgive me. Please.

“For ’s sake! When will all of you just shut the up?!” (Korean) I heard Yoongi’s voice in a distance. Maybe my screams angered him again.

More voices entered my ears as they argued, I felt sorry for a brief moment but not enough to make my cries stop.

I had a bad dream. A lot scarier than my dreams the past nights.

His hug tightened, trying to block my ears to the nearby arguments. He slightly rocked me in his arms, as if I’m a baby he can lull back to sleep.

“Who was it?” he asked right above my ear.

“F-father..” I answered back before clutching his shirt to my fist.

My chest hurts from crying, but I didn’t stop. He didn’t ask further and just busied himself in calming me.

“U-unnie…” I slightly looked to my left to the source of the voice. Due to my blurred vision, I can’t make out the face of the person who called me. I know she refers unnie as me. I figured that out because of SinB.

“Is she okay?” (Korean) the voice asked.

Jay nods, “Just a bad dream.” He answered. They exchanged words for a brief moment which I didn’t care much since I can’t understand them and I’m busy trying to get my dream out of my head.

“Kamsahamnida.” Jay gratefully said as he reached out for something. My mind is cloudy I can’t focus on them plus I still can’t calm down from shivering so hard.

“u-um, just please let her drink a sip. I don’t much have left.” (Korean) she said shyly and I felt Jay nod.

“of course.” (Korean) he said.

He made me sit properly on his lap—not literally on his lap, just my legs draped over his lap—and opened a blue water tumbler.

“This is Umji’s, she said just take a sip to calm yourself. Her water is almost empty.” I gratefully took a sip, though I really wanted to drink more, but I’m embarrassed to even try.

“T-thanks” I muttered and looked at Umji. She looks better than the last time I laid my eyes on her. Maybe because she had some time to sleep.

She simply nods, got up and walk away.

Jay went back to rocking me on his lap, leaning his chin at the top of my head as I rest on his chest. My sob already died down, as I just noticed now.

He hummed that made me relax. Now that I think of it, I felt my face heat up as I imagine our position. How tangled we are with each other. My hand trembled as I removed it on his waist and casually putting it on my lap.

I think of ways on how to untangle myself from him when he suddenly pushed me gently to look at my face. I immediately buried my face on both of my hands.

“Hey, what’s wrong this time?” he asked but I just shook my head no. God, this is so embarrassing!

He chose to stay silent that made me dread for words. Is it okay to lift my head now? Sheez, but I’m still blushing!

I peeked through my fingers and saw him look at me weirdly. He already removed his hands from the hug and now is the best chance to move away from him but for some reason, my limbs are frozen and I can’t even lift a foot.

When I already gathered the strength to push myself away, he grabbed my waist to keep me still and earning a yelp from me.

I put a hand on his hard-toned chest to steady myself and to prevent the gap of space from closing between us. Being this close to him will not do good for me.

“Are you embarrassed?” I lift my head, which is a bad idea because our faces are only inches apart. He wears that infamous smirk of his, the one which I hate at first but grown to love.

And I felt all the blood rush up to my cheeks. He’s going to tease me again! Argh!

“O-f course n-not!” I mentally cussed myself for stuttering so much. I slightly push him away but due to his hands on my waist prevents me from making a gap.

“Then why are you blushing?” I instantly covered half of my face with my other hand and tried to look away from him.

“I-I’m not!”

“Then why are you stuttering?”

“Why can’t you let me go?!” I said with a hint of irritation. This guy, seriously!

He laughed but thankfully let go of my waist and I scrambled off from his lap. I put as much space between us. I can’t let him near me now, gosh, my heart is