***

They say past is past and that you need to move on from it. Truly it not that easy at it seem but you need to keep on trying just to make sure you'll never got hurt again. Past shouldn't be part of our present and most especially our future. It's just easy to do it through words but not that easy to do it in action especially if you feel like you still love that person and that you can't keep your heart to feel anything when she's around. 

 

She tried but she knows she'll failed because even if how many times she distance herself from her or her pushing her away,Joy still wanted to take the risk and get her back. Atleast if that the right thing to do at this moment.

 

Joy was sitting on the student lounge doing her own stuff together with her friend Solar and her newfound friend Irene which happens to admired her by doing  a commercial ad.about fabric softener.

 

She supposed not to feel anything,not to feel like her heart teared into pieces and her smile faded away when she saw her standing on the entrance looking around like she's looking for something or rather for someone.

 

"Hey Seul!" Irene's cheerful voice snap her thought and that when she saw her finally settling her eyes on their direction.

 

Both of them had a same reaction on their faces when their gaze lock together.Joy felt like everything around her suddenly stop and she's hundred percent sure that Seulgi felt the same too. No one look away for almost a minute not until Joy saw her blink for a minute before fixing her gaze away. Contemplating for a bit before she manage to take a few step and finally leave the place without a word.

 

"What happened?" Solar suddenly asked beside her. A complete confusion was all over her face.

Irene replied her with a shrug before fixing her gaze on Seulgi's direction.

 

Joy lowered her head a bit as she focus her eyes on her hands that was gripping the fabric of her skirt on her lap. She bit her bottom lips harshly like it may bleed any more minute. Contemplating to do her next move before finally came up to her final decision. Slowly,she stand from her sit that calls the attention of the other two sitting next to her.

 

"Are you going somewhere else?" Irene asked

 

"I just need to go to the rest room" she lied

 

"O..kay,we'll wait for you here" Irene said with a smile

 

Joy replied her with a nod before stepping out to follow Seulgi.

 

 

***

 

Joy didn't know the exact reason why but the moment she finally reach the hallway of the school she found herself running as fast as she could have ever imagine,like her emotions was the one controlling her body and it's moving on it's own.

 

After a few minutes of running on the middle of the hall she finally spotted her. She fasten her pace just to reach for her and when she did she immediately grab the latter's forearm to stop her and make her turn around to face her.

 

"Wait" Joy said as she catches her breath.

 

On the other hand,Seulgi give her a serious yet the shock expression was still visible on her face.

 

"Can we talked for a moment?" 

Seulgi didn't answered her instead she just give Joy a blank expression so Joy decided to continue with her words

 

"Please Seul"It was a soft whisper but enough for the latter to hear

 

"I have many things to do,Joy. We can talked later" Seulgi said coldly like she's not interested to talked to her right now and it makes Joy's heart break again.

 

"We need to talked right now. Your work can wait but this one...it's more important" she said in a demanding tone

 

Seulgi didn't uttered a words after that instead she just heave a long deep sigh and that's Joy's cue to continue.

 

"Are you avoiding me?" She finally asked,eyes didn't leave the latter waiting for her to answer the question 

 

"Why you say that?" Seulgi said silently

 

"Because..." Joy paused trying to get the right words to say"Because I kinda felt it. Everytime you see me...it's like you don't want to see me or talked to me" she said,eyes were looking at her shoelace before lifting it again to glance at the latter.

 

Seulgi is wearing a blank expression that Joy wanted to rip off because it's irritated her in a way that she can't even read whatever Seulgi's thinking.

 

"Your just over reacting" Seulgi said" I'm just kinda busy that's why. I'm not avoiding you" she added,looking away from the latter.

 

Joy doesn't look convince not when Seulgi was avoiding making eye contact with her,not when she was giving her a cold expression instead of her usual cheerful self,not when Seulgi was talking to her like they didn't know each other for almost 7 years.

 

She was gripping the hem of her skirt in anger and annoyance. Her eyes was starting to water as she give Seulgi the look of hurt. She was biting her inner cheeks to prevent herself to burst out something that will surely hurt her. So she closes her eyes,trying to calm her nerves before opening it again to look at Seulgi

 

"Be honest with me. Are you avoiding me because of our connection?" She asked. But seeing the shock expression on Seulgi make her wanted to reject her moves.

 

"Enough Joy. This conversation is nonsense" Seulgi said sternly as she turn around and was about to leave but Joy's voice stop her from her track

 

"Why you so mean,Seul? Why are you always doing this to me? Why are you always turning your back at me?!" she paused when she felt the liquid flowing on her cheeks" Like what you've done to me before" she added in whisper

 

Seulgi's eyes were starting to became red,a tears was about to came out from it but she manage to hold it as she bit on her bottom lip.

 

"Your coward" Joy added as she feels her tears continously flowing down her cheeks and her vision became blurred.

 

"Say whatever you wanted to say. I'll not stop you" came the cold reply from Seulgi but still her back facing Joy.

 

Joy's anger was the one controlling her right now and that she found herself punching Seulgi's back continuously as she continue crying her heart out.

 

"Why you so selfish! You idiot! Why are you always doing this to me!?" She yelled as she continue pounding punches on Seulgi but Seulgi didn't budge nor say something instead she just stand there letting Joy punch her.

 

After more than a minute of punching Seulgi's back,Joy felt breathless,her punch become slow and weak until she finally stop but her hand never leave Seulgi's back instead it grip the fabric of Seulgi's blazer and her forehead lean on Seulgi's back for support. Her tears was soaking on the fabric of Seulgi's blazer.

 

"I shouldn't have love you. I shouldn't have fall inlove with you. Your...ing coward" she muttered breathlessly

 

They stay there for almost a minute without saying a words and only Joy's sniffled and their breathing could be heard. Until,Joy slowly leaned back. Staring at Seulgi's back figure before slowly loosen her grip on the latter's blazer. She took few more step backward but without leaving her gaze from Seulgi. She waited,she did almost ten few step backward before finally came to stop. Looking at Seulgi who didn't even turn her head to face her makes her heart broke more. Taking a long deep sigh,wiping the remaining dry tears on her cheeks and giving Seulgi one last glance before she decided to leave the place without any word and without turning back.

 

Seulgi didn't need to turn her back just to know Joy was already left. She was trying her best not to let Joy saw her vulnerable self. But the second later Joy left was an exception when she found her tears already flowing down her cheeks.

 

 

***

 

"Like what I expected,your here" Irene said the moment she saw Seulgi sitting silently on one of the bleachers

 

Seulgi give her a quick glance before focusing her eyes again infront

Irene took a seat next to the latter as both of them focus their eyes infront

 

"What happened?" Irene suddenly asked as she glance again on Seulgi 

 

Seulgi did the same until both of them were now staring at each other

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"You didn't share a lunch with us earlier"

 

Seulgi blink for a minute before she could remember what she just did before when Irene called for her. Instead of greeting her back she just ignore her. And Seulgi felt guilty for that.

 

"Sorry" she immediately apologize to the latter causing Irene to arch her brows in confusion because she doesn't know why Seulgi suddenly apologize to her

 

"Why are you apologizing?" She said as she give Seulgi a small smile

 

"Because I ignore you a minute ago"

 

"Seulgi. I'm not angry with you just because you ignore me a minute ago"Irene assured as she give Seulgi a smile"'I'm just worried because you don't look like your usual self now. Are you ok?" She asked in concerned tone of voice

 

Seulgi remained staring at Irene. She don't know why but whenever Irene's beautiful brown eyes looking at her she felt that everything she's carrying behind her back feels suddenly weightless and her mood lighten up in a swift.

 

Seulgi unknowingly smile on that" I'm fine. It just that school fare is nearly approaching so there were tons of works to do" She said

 

Irene nodded her head but a part of her doesn't look satisfied on Seulgi's answer but she don't want to push Seulgi unto her limit. She don't want to invade Seulgi's private life because once and for all she's only just Her Friend.

 

"But you need to take a short break once in a while. You know,too much work could also be dangerous for our health" Irene said

 

"Yes,ma'am. Copy that" Seulgi said as she raise her right hand to seal her promise which earn a soft giggle from the latter.

 

"Dork" Iene mumbled between her giggle which Seulgi reciprocated with her signature eye smile.

 

Little did they know that someone was watching them on the other side. Her expression was unreadable yet the cold and boring aura were present on her. 

Didn't want to look at the scene for so long,the person decided to retreat back. Taking the other direction as she walked silently unto the direction of the school building with one of her hand was inside her skirt pocket. Until she felt her phone vibrate inside her pocket. Pulling it out as she checked for the caller's id before answering it.

 

"Joy?"

 

"Where are you?"

 

"At the hallway,why?"

 

"Could you come here at the rooftop?"

 

"​​​​​​Why?"

 

"Wen please....just don't ask many question"  Joy's voice was hoarse that made Wendy think Joy was crying and that it's worried her.

 

"Ok.I'll be there in a minute"She said before hanging up and making her way unto the rooftop.

 

 

***

 

Joy was silently sitting on the cold floor of the rooftop. Her back was leaning against the wall,her knees were curled up to her chest hugging it as her eyes (that became red because of too much crying )were looking at nowhere.

Wendy heave a long deep before taking the space next to her friend as she also glance infront.

 

Joy's lips were trembling so she sometimes bit on it to calm it down.

 

"Do you want to tell me something?" Wendy gently asked as she give her friend a side glance

 

Joy's breathing became sharp  and that she ended up crying again with her hands covering her face.

 

Wendy slowly reach for her back and patted it for comfort.

 

Wendy knows Joy for almost 7 years now. They became friends since middle school. She saw Joy cried for many times so she knows what to do when the same things happened. Don't asked Joy many question. Let her cry but make sure to give her a subtle comfort and lastly don't say a words until she finally calmed down. That's the usual routine. 

 

 

"I'll take you home now. Com'on" Wendy said the moment Joy finally calmed down. She lend her hand for Joy to take. Joy stared at her for a minute before reaching for it,slowly standing on her feet before they both make there way out of the door.

 

Wendy doesn't need to asked the reason why Joy cried because she already know it. It just that she doesn't want to make the situation complicated and most importantly,she don't want to force Joy to tell it by herself. 

 

 

****

 

After taking Joy back to her house,Wendy immediately ride back to her apartment. The cold breeze make her body relax again after the emotional encounter she had with Joy a minute ago. 

Her eyes were focus on the road when suddenly someone catches her attention. Blinking her eyes for a moment before she finally recognize the person.

 

"Amber" the name came out of . She immediately make a turn on the left lane  to follow the person who was walking on the sidewalk.She roll on the throttle of her motorbike to immediately catch up the person. 

 

"Amber!" She called out but when Amber saw her she immediately run like a suspect who just caught in a crime.

 

Wendy roll on her throttle again to fasten her speed.

 

They continue chasing each other with Amber running on the other side of the street but when they reach the intersection,Amber suddenly stop on her track when vehicles started moving on each side of the street preventing her to continue with her trance and that was Wendy's chance to finally caught her so she immediately pull in the clutch and squeeze the brake lever,pushing the kill switch button before getting off of her motorbike in a rush and dashes unto Amber's direction.

 

Amber didn't have enough time to react when Wendy suddenly grab her from behind and drag her the nearest alleyway before pinning her on the cold wall. 

 

Amber groaned in pain when her back harshly hit the wall.

 

"Wendy! Let go of me!" She said as she hold Wendy's hand that was gripping on her collar harshly

 

"No. Not until you tell me everything that you know"

 

"How many times do I need to tell you that the things that you want to know is confidential" Amber argue as she tried to swat Wendy's hand away from her collar but Wendy was determined and doesn't look like easily defeated so she continue gripping on her collar that almost choking her

 

"I didn't believe in you" Wendy harshly say as she narrowed her eyes on Amber

 

"Look. I'm a registered nurse here. And one of my duty is to keep my patient's private details in privacy! I don't have the right to just leak it because someone asked for it!" 

 

"Amber. I'm begging you please! Tell me what happened before the cremation? I just wanted to know!" She paused as she feels her knuckles started to tremble because of too much desperation,anger and annoyance." Who is the beneficiary of Soojung's heart? Who did they give it to?" Wendy's tone and eyes was pleading as she started to pat Amber's chest for her to spit out everything that she knows.

 

Wendy is hopeless. She find herself became desperate on just finding out whoever got Soojung's heart. She wanted to know. She really did. Her emotions,feelings and longing were pushing her to the edge of being a desperate one. But she didn't care because all she cares right now is to find out the whole truth.

 

Amber heave a long deep sigh. Holding Wendy's trembling hand and guiding it away from her.

 

Wendy's arms falling helplessly on her side. Her head hung low.

 

Amber find this Wendy different. She knows her for almost two years because Krystal happened to brought her on the hospital where she's working at before and that's when they became friend. The Wendy before was full of charisma and has a strong personality. A jolly and outgoing person but tonight,a different side of the said girl is what Amber all saw. 

She wonder if it is because of what happened to Krystal that's why she suddenly change.

 

Amber heave a long deep sigh before she manage to say a word again

 

 

"I can only tell you half of the story"

 

Wendy slowly lifted her head and that when Amber saw Wendy's redden eyes.She really felt pity for this girl.

 

"Before the cremation. The Jung consulted us and they tell us they wanted to donate Krystal's heart"she paused" The team immediately agreed to it,and at the exact day we did the operation"Amber paused again as she observe the reaction on Wendy's face but Wendy remained looking at her with her eyes telling Amber to continue with her words. So Amber did

 

"The beneficiary of Krystal's heart was one of the hospital's patient at that time" she finish 

 

"What is the name of the person? The beneficiary?" 

 

"Wendy. I told you. I can only tell you half of the story. This things is confidential. If you really wanted to know the whole story why not asking the Jungs instead" She said

"I need to go now. Sorry but that's the only thing I can tell you right now" she added before walking out to the other direction leaving Wendy alone.

 

Wendy heave a long exasperated sigh as she let her forehead lean unto the wall. Feeling helpless again of losing the chance to finally know the name of the person who receive Soojung's heart.

 

 

 

 

***

 

TBC. .

 

 

 

P.s.Apology if there were some typos occured..