Next morning Ji Hoo’s eyes opened with the repeated ringing of his phone. He sleepily picked up his phone from the bed side table.

“Hello?”

“Dr. Yoon, I just called to inform you that Mr. Lee’s surgery has been scheduled at 3pm today,” informed one of the hospital stuff.

Ji Hoo looked to his side to check the time. It was 11 in the morning.

“I will be there at the hospital by 1. Get all the paperwork done before that. And ask Mrs. Lee to visit my office before the surgery. I need to discuss all the possible outcomes of the surgery with her,” he replied, with a more stable voice.

“Yes, Dr. Yoon. See you later.”

After disconnecting the call, he fell back on the pillow. He had a good sleep after a long time. Although he still had a slight dull headache, but it was nothing compared to what he was used to at the end of other sleepless nights. With that, his mind suddenly went back to the moments of the previous night: Jan Di and Jun Pyo’s baby news…their plan to move next month…Go Ha Jin…her damp hair that smelled like cherry blossom, as he hugged her…her big brown eyes that looked at him with awe, as he pulled her down on the bed…her soft murmurs of “It will all be fine”, as he clung to her, sobbing…

She must have left in the morning. Oh damn! What had gotten into me that I forced her to stay with me all night? She must have been traumatized. I should not have taken advantage of her like that. I am sorry Ha Jin, please forgive me.

His eyes went up to the ceiling. It had become quite a pastime for him gazing at the ceiling for hours at nights, when sleep would refuse to come.

“What is there you keep looking at? Do you have some hidden painting on your ceiling?”

Those were the words spoken by the girl he had brought home from the club, few months back. It was not the only time when he had picked up a random girl from the club, who would be too eager to spend the night with the famous F4 Ji Hoo. He had seen Yi Jung and Woo Bin indulging themselves in meaningless all these years, calling it as an easy ‘stressbuster’. He wanted to try doing that too, to get his mind off from Jan Di. But every time he tried, he ended up feeling guilty, as if he was cheating on Jan Di.

What if she wants to come back to me someday? How will I face her?

Every time, invariably in the middle of the act, he would freeze. And as the girl (whose name he would not even care to ask) hovered on him, trying to elicit some response from him, he would stare at the ceiling blankly.

His thoughts again came back to the last night, and Ha Jin. Somehow, Ha Jin’s presence the night before did make him feel a bit calmed. Holding her close gave him the strength to purge himself of some of his pain. He wondered for a moment whether he should have felt guilty for being disloyal to Jan Di.

Ha Jin is too pure to be compared to those girls I have been with before. I am ashamed of forcing her to stay, but I should not taint her purity by bringing her down to that level.

He looked at the empty side of the bed where Ha Jin was held back by him the night before. His bandaged hand smoothened the crumpled bedsheet she had rested upon. Finally, he dragged himself out of the bed; as, yet another long and busy day awaited him.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

At the F4 lounge, Yi Jung and Woo Bin were lazing out. It was not a frequent occasion these days to meet up in the evening for a couple of pool games and drinks.

“Yo bro, it has been such a long time since we F4 last met up and had some idle chats at the lounge. Life is not easy and fun anymore,” opined Woo Bin.

“And it will be even scarcer when Jun Pyo and Jan Di move to US,” added Yi Jung.

Both remained silent for some moments, ruminating over their own thoughts.

“Do you think Ji Hoo could take it all easily?” asked Woo Bin after some time.

“Why do you ask that?”

“He seemed happy for Jun Pyo and Jan Di, but as much as we know him, he must have been quite shattered by their decision to move out of Korea,” replied Woo Bin thoughtfully.

“I do not know what to think. Losing Seo Hyun noona had an intense effect on him, but he could cope with it with Jan Di’s help. As for his feelings for Jan Di, I am not sure, but it still seems to be there,” said Yi Jung.

“It was never gone. He suffered every moment he saw Jan Di pining for Jun Pyo. Only Ji Hoo could have kept such profound feelings in check. And that he did well, for the sake of Jun Pyo and Jan Di. God knows how he has kept his sanity day after day following their marriage,” spoke Woo Bin.

In the years when Jun Pyo and Yi Jung were out of the country, Woo Bin had been able to come even closer to Ji Hoo than before. Both missed their F4 gang, and even for an introvert like Ji Hoo, it was difficult not to share his solitude with Woo Bin from time to time. They would meet up for drinks, talk about their fun days in the past. And in few of such occasions, when Ji Hoo would be drunk enough, words about his love for Jan Di would slip out of his mouth unknowingly. Thus, Woo Bin could see through any subtle changes in Ji Hoo’s behaviour, although the latter tried his best to cover up.

“I think we should keep a watch on him, Yi Jung. He might not show it outwards, but he is crumbling inside. We cannot afford to lose yet another member of F4,” spoke Woo Bin with finality.

“Yes, you are right,” sighed Yi Jung.

………………………………………………………………………………………………....

Ha Jin woke up early on Saturday morning. Although the days were getting colder, it was a bright morning with clear sky. She decided to go to the jogger’s park and spend some time in fresh air. She drove her car to the park, which was about 20 minutes from her home and walked in.

As winter was approaching, fewer people were there at the park at such early hour of the morning. She put on her earphone, starting some music, and began jogging. After about half an hour, she felt tired and thirsty, so paused on her track and took a seat on the nearby bench.

It felt very relaxing after her jog, so she closed her eyes and took a depth breath. She heard a faint sound of footsteps running towards her direction, and while passing by, it stopped in front of her. She did not bother to open her eyes, as there was enough space on the bench beside her, if the other person wished to take a rest.

“Ha Jin…”

She opened her eyes immediately on hearing the familiar voice.

“Ji Hoo?”

“How are you?”

“I am fine, thanks.”

Ji Hoo’s face was red from running, and even in the cold morning, he seemed to be sweating inside. Ha Jin lowered her gaze from his face and looked around. There was an awkward silence between them. She did not know what to talk about with him. He seemed to be not knowing either, yet he stood there, unmoving.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” asked Ji Hoo cautiously.

“No, no. Not at all,” replied Ha Jin, embarrassed.

“Do you come here often?” asked Ji Hoo as he sat on the bench.

“No, not often. I am not a very active person who would wake up every morning for a jog,” replied Ha Jin sheepishly.

Ji Hoo smiled faintly and rested his elbows on his knees, locking his fingers. Ha Jin looked down at her hands on her lap. Few more minutes passed without either of them uttering a sound.

“Mianhe,” spoke Ji Hoo softly.

“Huh?”

Ha Jin looked at him with wide eyes.

“I am sorry for what I made you go through the other night. I have no words to justify my behaviour. I have never been forceful on anyone before, but I don’t know what came over my mind that night. I don’t even have the face to ask for your forgiveness,” stated Ji Hoo regretfully.

Again, both fell silent. Only the sound of birds chirping in the trees could be heard in the background.

“I think we are even now. We don’t need to be sorry to each other anymore,” said Ha Jin slowly.

Ji Hoo looked in her eyes with confusion.

“The other night my fiancé misbehaved with you, yet you came for me and saved me from those hoodlums. I think despite being strangers, we have seen each other at the lowest moments of our lives. Like the darkest secrets we will never want to share with our family or friends. So, just think of it as a debt I needed to pay back,” spoke Ha Jin.

Ji Hoo stared at her face for few moments before a hint of smile appeared on his face. Then he nodded his head lightly and looked down.

“Still…please let me do something for you, anything, as my gratitude for treating my bleeding hand that day?” asked Ji Hoo and raised his palm to show her the healing wound.

Ha Jin could not help smiling at his request, but shook her head in disagreemen