“Are you really not gonna continue for the next semester?” Your friend questioned

You sighed and looked away “I told you for the nth time, I’m not”

The last semester has been tough. Brian did every single thing he could just to talk to you and you did every single thing to avoid him. You even skipped some classes or would come in late every time you see him waiting in front of your classroom’s door; you’d hide at the back of your classmates when leaving the room after class if he’s outside, waiting for you to come out; you never answered his calls and text messages neither his friends’; you’d always pretend to be not in your dorm when you’re actually just laying on your bed trying to contain all the tears and pain.

“But did you really have to deactivate your social media accounts and change your number?” she exhaled a sharp breath “What the hell?”

“He needs this, okay?”

“He doesn’t” Her eyes darted to yours and even if you wanted to look away, you couldn’t “He told you, he doesn’t need this.”

“He does.” You insisted “Maybe he couldn’t see it for now but someday he will. And he might even thank me for this. He does great in everything and I might just drag him down. I don’t want him to fail because of me.”

She’s staring you intently, trying to read your eyes. You kind of felt uncomfortable and nervous.

“He does great in everything” She spoke while slowly nodding “And he does best in music… And loving you”

Your chest tightened. You blinked twice while slowly letting out a breath. You had a hard time swallowing because your throat got dry.

“Was his best not enough?” She smirked “Oh yeah… His best was too much” She raised an eyebrow as you pressed your lips together, forming a thin line.

You looked away “I should get back to work.” You excused as you stood up to walk toward the counter. Even if you hadn’t seen it, you’re sure she rolled her eyes.

After the last semester ended, you looked for a job and here you are now: at a coffee shop not too near from school neither too far. And yes, you’re gonna have a break from school, too, and work for a while to save up some money. But who are you fooling? Not anyone but yourself. You’re trying to convince yourself that you’re doing it for the said reason but you know deep inside, you’re doing this to avoid Brian.

Did you really have to go that far? Well, you could go back anyway. Having a break for a semester or two wouldn’t hurt right?

Every single day is a blur. The only thing you could remember is your friend going to your work place from time to time to nag at you during your break. Nothing much changed since your breakup. Oh how you hate that word. And even if you don’t want to think about it, someone is making you. You don’t know if it’s fortunately or not that your workmate is a fan of them; and she doesn’t know you’re friends with them.

“And you know I heard they’re gonna have their debut real real soon.” You sighed and gave her a small smile “They’re already quite known here because of their gigs, guesting and busking. And I’m really happy that finally they’re gonna have their debut”

You already lost count on how many times you’ve heard it from her. She really likes them. But somehow you’re wondering why it was delayed. Did they have a problem while making their album? Or maybe it’s not really delayed but you were just expecting it to happen sooner. You don’t know. And you don’t want to ask.

Your eyes widened and you froze when you saw a familiar figure approaching; he seemed oblivious with his phone held against his ear, talking to someone. When he’s finally in front of the counter, his eyes widened, mouth agape. You both blinked several times, both in shock. Your workmate seemed to be surprised, too. Seeing one of the members of the band that she really likes in front of her.

“J-Jae…”

He once again blinked before saying your name. You heard your workmate gasped. You felt her gaze shifted from you to Jae then from Jae to you. You glanced behind him and he also looked behind over his shoulder.

“He’s… He’s not with me”

You cleared your throat, still feeling your workmate’s gaze, before you looked at him again. “W-why are you here?” Your brows furrowed “You don’t really drink coffee. Strawberry Cream Tea?”

“I actually need coffee today”

“Americano then?”

He nodded. Your heart beat is raising and your hands were shaking. Fortunately your workmate was the one who made his order. You didn’t really want to talk to any of them; afraid that they may be mad at you and because you don’t know what you’d feel and say. But then, you found yourself asking your workmate to let you off the counter for a bit and now, you’re standing beside Jae’s table.

“J-Jae…” you hesitantly took the seat when he offered. He looked at your eyes and he seemed to know what you want.

“I’m not gonna tell him” You heaved a sigh of relief “If you tell me everything. You didn’t even answer our calls. You—you just disappeared like bubble. Man, how could you?”

You cupped your face with your hands, trying to calm down and compose yourself. When you have mustered the strength to speak, you told him everything.

“What?!” You closed your eyes, preventing a single tear to escape “That’s ridiculous, man. You—“

“Jae, please…” You bit your lower lip before continuing “I already had enough earful from (Your friend’s name).”

It was a full minute of silence. You just want to disappear from his sight right now. And the last thing you heard from him was “Don’t make dumb mistakes that you’re gonna regret later in life” before you went back to work.

As if your energy hasn’t yet depleted, your workmate bombarded you with questions.

“You knew each other? You’re friends? I never expected. I—I’m so speechless! I didn’t even manage to get a single photo because I was dumbstruck. You—You always seemed to be uninterested when I talk about them.” She took a pause and seemed like thinking before she gasped and grabbed your arm “So that’s why you have a studio version of Eyeless that no one else has and that’s why you wouldn’t send it to me! And Jae doesn’t drink much coffee? You’re friends with them! Oh my gosh! Please let me meet them! Please”

You massaged your temple and took your arm away from her grip. She spoke so fast and you’re just too tired to answer.

Every single day at work, she would bother you about it. Today is not an exception. You were so thankful when a costumer came but gasped in surprise when you saw who it was; he called out your name with a big smile on his face.

“My favorite cousin!” He exclaimed, spreading his arms. You instantly grinned.

You talked to catch up with each other after your work. You missed him so much since it’s been 2 years that you last saw each other.

“Let’s have dinner tomorrow?” He asked as he put an arm around your shoulder. You’re both walking to the bus stop to head home; you to your dorm and he to his friend’s house. “Well, that is if you don’t have a date with your boyfriend”

“I don’t have a boyfriend”

He halt from walking and made you face him. His forehead wrinkled. “What do you mean you don’t have a boyfriend? You broke up? He hurt you?”

You sighed. “It’s a long story and I don’t really wanna talk about it now”

He bit his lower lip, hands on his waist, as he nodded “Alright. Just tell me when you’re ready” He put his arm on your shoulder again and continued walking.

You’re gonna ride a different bus so he’s leaving first. He hugged you before going in and kissed you on your forehead. You felt your heart stopped when you remembered a certain person.

“Take care, okay? I love you!” he exclaimed before finally riding the bus.

You laughed as you shooed him away “I love you, too. See you tomorrow!” Your grin slowly faded when you turned to your left.

Eyes were darted on you; sad and in pain. Your mouth agape, ready to call him, when he turned and walked away.

“Finally!” your workmate exclaimed one day “Their MV from their debut album will be released tonight and they’ll gonna have a First Mini-album Concert! Are you coming?”

“I don’t know”

It’s been two weeks since that eyes that were in pain laid on you. Why didn’t I call him? Why didn’t I—you sighed and stood up to open your laptop. Your day was tiring, especially when you have a workmate who keeps on bugging you about your ex’s band, and now you’re going to get yourself be more drained.

You let out a shaking breath as you clicked to play their first ever MV.

Now you won’t even pick up my calls
Instead of you, I hear a dull voice
There are always hard days
But you can’t win over that moment and you look for an alternative

As soon Jae started singing, you felt a pang in your chest. Your breathing became heavy and your chest seemed tight. Jae’s voice was so sad. His eyes were conveying the song’s emotion. You never thought this was going to be a sad song.

Let’s take some time
When I heard that
I understood it exactly as it sounded
That we should take some time

It’s getting more and more painful and even harder to breathe. You let out a heavy breath when Sungjin sang his first part. You gasped when the couple in the MV were eating ramen. That’s his favorite! You remembered how he wants egg for his ramen after the ramen has been cooked. Tears gathered in your eyes. You pressed your lips together when the guy was playing the guitar. He always wanted to play the guitar and not the bass.

Congratulations, you’re so amazing
Congratulations, how could you be so fine?
How could you trample on me?
I see your smiling face, I guess you forgot everything

As much as you wanted to stop your tears from falling, they already fell. His part was the chorus. You felt how sarcastic the song is. Congratulations. You even thought it was a happy song but this is really a heartbreaking one.

When you said let’s take some time
When you said let’s think about it
You looked into my eyes and made me believe you
Like this

While the couple’s memories flashed on the MV, memories of you and Brian flashed in your mind, too. The random kisses and now there’s Chopper hat. Is that the one I gave him? How you miss those days, watching One Piece together is a must in your weekly schedule. You both love that anime so much.

Your eyes were already clouded up with tears. Your shoulders are moving up and down as you try to catch some to breathe. You were busy wiping your tears away but when the chorus came again, they were falling non-stop like a waterfall.

Then it hit you… Did he misunderstand–that night with your cousin at the bus stop? Does he think you cheated on him? Or is he thinking that you already found a new man?

You don’t want to over think that this song is for you but it explains your situation with him right now; even the music video screamed memories of you.

And never in your whole life that you thought you’d cry to someone’s rap but there you are clutching your chest while trying not to cry even more even if you know it’s impossible; especially that he’s the one rapping.

Seriously wow girl congratulations
It didn’t take you long, you’re such a hotshot
Huh, I saw your picture on the Internet
Are you that happy? Your smile goes up to your ears
For me, my heart still hurts every time I breathe
But it’s good that you’ll never be in pain
Because even if you break up with him
You’ll just start a new love again

Your room is filled with wails and bawls. You cried till you fell asleep and the last thing you remembered was asking yourself about what you have done and telling yourself “Seriously, wow self… Congratulations”

-

Hi. Again.. Don't fight me bc of this. Haha. Thoughts please? :)