It's Mina's birthday and Momo can't hold it in anymore.

 

Hands To Myself - Selena Gomez

 

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She breaths some. She breaths some more. Steals a glance at the girl to her right. Breaths some more, steals another glance. Narrowly avoids getting caught (her neck hurts a little from looking away too fast). Sneaks another peak. Breaths again and again and again.

 

How to approach?

 

Unfortunately, someone beats her to the chase. “Mina unnie!”

 

The gorgeous girl to her right turns with a small smile. “Yes?”

 

Chaeyoung doesn’t hesitate to flop into Mina’s unsuspecting lap. “Get dinner with me tonight after the recording? Pretty please?” She bats her lashes cutely, pouting full lips.

 

Mina tilts her head, unconsciously shifting to make the smaller girl comfortable. “What for?”

 

“It’s your birthday soon, Minari!” Chaeyoung sings as she throws her arms around Mina’s neck. “I wanted to be first to say happy birthday!”

 

Mina beams at the young one in her lap. “Aw, that’s so sweet! I’d love to go out with you tonight- thank you, Chaeyoung!”

 

“Hehe, yay!” Chaeyoung cheers a little. Momo hates herself a little because goddammit, why does Chaeyoung have to be so goddam cute all the time?? It’s certainly not helping her case.

 

It’s not fair, Momo sighs to herself as she longingly watches Mina take Chaeyoung’s hand as they saunter out the door. She just wants to- wants to-

 

Wants to what?

 

She finds she can’t answer as Mina shuts the door behind her.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She decides to try again the next day. It’s a lax day, after all, and they’re all looking forward the small window of free time they’ve obtained for the afternoon. Most of them are planning to rest, as far as Momo’s concerned- it shouldn’t be a problem to get some free time with Mina.

 

But, it seems like Tzuyu has other plans today.

 

“Mina unnie!”

 

Mina looks up with a fond smile from her knitting. “Hey Tzuyu.”

 

Tzuyu grins at Mina looking very much like a small puppy. Momo envies her beauty sometimes- they all do- but she’s seriously something gorgeous and she’s near and dear to Mina, who readily sets aside what she’s doing to give her full attention to the younger.

 

“Unnie, let’s go out.” Tzuyu says in her ever-so-blunt manner as she stands in front of Mina, staring at her with those ever wide unblinking eyes.

 

Mina just laughs amusedly, although Momo feels her heart leap alarmingly high in her chest. “Now?”

 

“Yes.” Tzuyu nods, confirming her request. “It’s your birthday soon- I thought we could visit that dog cafe together, while we have some free time.”

 

Mina beams brightly at the mention of the puppies. “That sounds like fun! Let me get my jacket, and we can head out.”

 

Tzuyu’s smile reminds Momo just how gorgeous their youngest is. She’s definitely not the face of TWICE for nothing.

 

Oh. Maybe next time.

 

Momo watches, deflated as Tzuyu holds the dorm door open for Mina and they exit with clasped hands.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Mina!”

 

They get to her before Momo can even take her next breath. Momo’s jaw practically drops as her sight of the birthday girl is suddenly blocked by two dashing frames, speeding readily towards Mina. The girl in question raises her head from where she’s hunched over some sort of paper at the kitchen table. “Hm?”

 

Nayeon flounces over with an award-winning grin and swings into the chair across from her. “You know, I heard there’s a new arcade opening across from Jeongyeon’s house.”

 

“Yeah- my sister’s been raving about it for weeks.” Jeongyeon smiles as she joins them, hovering next to Nayeon.

 

Mina looks back and forth between the duo, a little lost. “Okay?”

 

“Go with me? I promise it’ll be fun!” Nayeon looks at Mina like there’s no other person she’d want to spend the day with and Momo can’t help the wave of- of insecurity?? Whatever the strange twist in her chest is when she sees Nayeon’s charisma shining bright and clear through a confident, strong personality. Jeongyeon stands next to her, grinning just as brightly, just as confident and self-assured.

 

For once in her life, Momo wishes she were just a little bit braver.

 

“O-Okay. If Seungyeon unnie says it’s good, it must be worth checking out right?”

 

Nayeon beams, pleased. “That’s the spirit! Come on birthday girl- we’ve got a lot to do today!”

 

Momo watches again as Mina’s herded out the door away from her.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She finally gets Mina alone one day.

 

“Momo? Is that you?”

 

Mina looks up from her cell phone where she seems to be playing a chicken-laden rendition of flappy bird. She grins brightly when Momo exposes the rest of her body in Mina’s doorway. The older girl chuckles lightly as she walks in to sit on the edge of Mina’s bed.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi Momo.” Mina smiles up at her. It pulls something in her chest, because Mina’s looking at her like she’s hung all the stars in the sky.

 

Momo tries not to read into it too much. “Mitang, we haven’t hung out in a while. Do you want to do something later today?”

 

Mina hums in thought. “I don’t know if I can today.”

 

It’s a simple rejection and it’s not like Momo’s never been rejected in her life (Nayeon has stood her up plenty of times), but for some reason it hurts a little extra today. “Aw.”

 

Mina frowns. “Yeah. I’m going to see the BLACKPINK girls in an hour- they’ve invited me somewhere for lunch, I think.”

 

Ah. Of course. Jennie and Lisa are so in love with Mina, it’s scary sometimes. Momo sighs a little at the thought.

 

(She remembers vividly a time when the BLACKPINK girls had asked to take Mina. Nayeon almost killed Jennie. Sana nearly had an aneurysm. Jeongyeon was this close to calling the police, and Chaeyoung screamed for three hours straight. Tzuyu just cried.)

 

Anyway, it’s no secret that they’re all big Mina stans- maybe even bigger than ONCEs themselves. Momo knows it’s a lost cause though (and she doesn’t want to ruin Mina’s time with them), so she sends the girl a small smile and quietly sees herself out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

This just isn’t working in her favor.

 

Not twenty-four hours after Mina’s outing with BLACKPINK, Sana and Jihyo sweep her away for a day at the math exhibit Mina’s secretly been wanting to check out for three weeks. Dahyun invites her out to look at flowers in some hipster greenhouse near the company that’s opened recently, and then proceeds to buy the girl three dozen daisies (or something), a gesture that has Mina shyly blushing and staring at her hands. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are especially doting, both having a major soft spot for the youngest of the J-Trinity, and the maknae line is always clinging to their favorite understanding unnie. Mina barely spares her any glances, much less words- she’s always so busy, going here and there and responding to this person and that person.

 

It’s like Momo doesn’t exist anymore, and she supposes that she just has to be okay with that.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She hasn’t really gotten to speak to Mina in- well, in a while.

 

Every time she’s approached, her attempts are blocked or put aside by a preoccupied Mina, spinning about busily to accommodate all the others who have lined up and out the door to spend time with her. Momo sits, glum and kind of sad with a cup of lemon water in her hand as the lights flash around them and music bumps through the speakers.

 

She’s thoroughly convinced that Mina just doesn’t like her like that, and that the universe just doesn’t want them together. Everyone’s having fun, having a good time- Mina’s twenty-second birthday party is going to go down in idol history (the party-planners really outdid themselves this time. Nayeon, Jennie, Dahyun, Wendy, Jimin, and Jaebum are preening like peacocks at everyone’s praise).

 

“Momo, where are you going?”

 

Momo glances up at Jeongyeon and Rosé, who are looking at her concernedly. “Oh, I’m just going to step out for a bit. Don’t worry about it- I’ll see you guys later, alright?”

 

Jeongyeon doesn’t look convinced, but she lets it go. “Alright. Don’t be too long, and call us if you need anything.”

 

Momo manages a tired smile at her roommate and nods, waving at Rosé and quietly slipping out past the throngs of partying stars who have all gathered to celebrate Mina’s birthday. She’s tired, dejected, and kind of sad. She glances down at the roses in her hand- she’d bought them for Mina, but (a hopeful) Jimin had presented her with a massively large bouquet just as they were going to bring out the cake. Mina had looked surprised, happy, and bashful as she gracefully accepted his gift. Everyone had cheered.

 

She’d already been walking for a few minutes when she hears a voice behind her.

 

“Wait!”

 

Momo almost jumps out of her skin, whipping around to face her chaser. She almost drops the flowers in her surprise.

 

Mina is a few yards behind her, leaning hands on her knees as she heaves for breath. Momo stares at her, mouth agape.

 

“Just- hold on- wait a little, will you??”

 

Momo blinks, utterly caught off guard. “Mina, what are you doing here??”

 

The girl is still trying to catch her breath. “G- give me a second- gosh, why do you walk so fast- hold on, okay?”

 

Momo has no words, but she waits anyway. Mina straightens up after a few moments, smooths out her clothes, and then points at the flowers clenched in Momo’s hand.

 

“Give them to me.”

 

Momo glances down, absolutely befuddled, at the limp bouquet in her fist. “These??”

 

“Yes. Give them to me.”

 

Momo looks at her skeptically. “These have been dead since two hours ago.”

 

Mina frowns, straightening herself and defiantly standing face to face with Momo. “They’re mine, aren’t they?”

 

Momo stares at her. “I mean they were going to be, but I technically never got to give them to you, and Jimin just gave you enough flowers to fill the dorm room and Jihyo’s bra so-“

 

“They’re mine then- so give them to me.”

 

Momo doesn’t know what’s going on except that the girl she’s been in love with for three years is standing before her demanding she give her a bunch of wilted roses. But the look on Mina’s face is one of pure starlight as she holds them to her chest, giving Momo the purest, happiest smile Momo thinks she’s ever seen.

 

“Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.” She beams at Momo, the words genuine and excited. Momo doesn’t understand why the girl would be so happy over a bunch of dead roses.

 

“You- you’re welcome? What are you even doing here, Mina?”

 

Mina stares at her. “I could ask you the same thing.”

 

She looks- upset?? She looks so pouty and sulky and so damn cute, Momo can’t fight off the wave of longing that rises up inside her.

 

“It’s your birthday, Minari. Everyone’s inside celebrating your special day- don’t waste your energy running around outside.”

 

“I’m not celebrating if you’re not going to be there, Momo.”

 

Momo sighs. She really wasn’t expecting this. “I just stepped out for some air. I’ll be back, alright?”

 

Mina looks at her like she knows better (because she does). “You were going to leave.”

 

“I- I’m just a little tired.”

 

“You can’t leave yet- you owe me.”

 

“Owe you what?”

 

The guests have started streaming out of the house, pouring onto the large lawn because apparently it’s firework time- Nayeon’s got a new dealer and they’ve apparently got quite the show this time around. Momo vaguely hears the oldest member of TWICE shouting directions to Jeongyeon and Lisa to make sure that no one gets killed.

 

Mina steps toe to toe with her, eye to eye and nose to nose. “Everyone else has given me a kiss today except you.”

 

Momo feels her heart constrict uncomfortably in her chest. “Wh-what??”

 

Mina just smirks at her, inching closer and closer. “You heard me. It’s my birthday, and we have a tradition.”

 

“I- I don’t-“

 

“You owe me.”

 

Momo’s heart is leaping inside of her, but she brushes off the husky lilt in Mina’s voice and musters the last of her strength to lean forward to brush her lips against her forehead. “There.”

 

When she pulls away, Mina is rolling her eyes exasperatedly. “You can do better than that.”

 

Momo looks at her quietly. “I don’t know what else you want from me.”

 

There’s meaning laced in all her words that carries something deeper than the surface of her feelings for this girl, who’s unequivocally made herself a home in Momo’s heart to stay. Mina stands before her, twenty-two today and now they’re both older, wiser, and maybe (just maybe) they’ve finally grown tired of running.

 

Mina’s soft exhale brushes over her face, her eyelashes graze Momo’s cheek. “Then let me do this just once.”

 

Her lips press gently against Momo’s just as the first of the fireworks blaze up into the sky, coloring the darkness with lights. Momo swears the world stops around them as Mina’s fingers curl delicately under her chin, her other hand delicately pulling Momo closer by the belt.

 

The first time Mina kisses her is on Mina’s twenty-second birthday, March 24th, on a chilly spring evening with their friends spinning cartwheels across the lawn. The fireworks blaze in spectacular color above them and Mina’s supposed to be over there with all their friends, twirling in the sprinklers that aren’t supposed to be on but instead she’s here, chasing after Momo just so she can get her hands on a bunch of dead flowers and kiss a girl who loves her underneath the stars.

 

They’re both breathless when Mina finally pulls away. “I’ve been waiting for that a long time.” Mina quietly confesses, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. She’s a bit breathless from kissing Momo like that, but not a bit of her seems to regret it and she’s radiating so much happiness Momo feels like she’s going to be overwhelmed too soon.

 

“I didn’t even know you liked me.”

 

Mina looks at her and smiles, a flash of pink from Nayeon’s firework spectacle illuminating her well-defined features. “There are a lot of things you didn’t know, Momo.”

 

Momo stares at her. “What do you mean-“

 

“I mean, would it have changed anything if you knew?”

 

Two helpless blinks. Jihyo screams from somewhere in the background because Chaeyoung has accidentally pushed her in the sprinklers, and is now chasing the younger around for retaliation (she tries her best to ignore Chaeyoung’s screams for help) “Changed what exactly-“

 

“Would you have been honest with me if you knew I liked you?”

 

Momo doesn’t know what to say. “I really don’t know.”

 

Mina just beams back at her. “Exactly. But here we are- you’re finally with me and I’m finally twenty-two, and I can finally say this is the best birthday I’ve ever had.” She laced their fingers together smiling at Momo like she’s put the stars in the sky.

 

Momo finally allows a brilliant smile to bloom over her features. “You- I can’t believe this.”

 

Mina grins at her like someone in love. “Then stay with me?”

 

Her smile is so hopefully, so happy, and Momo knows she’s lost a long time ago to this girl. So she sighs, leans a little closer, and presses her lips to Mina’s hair as the birthday girl reclines into her body.

 

Somewhere behind them, Chaeyoung has tries to shield herself from Jihyo with Tzuyu’s unsuspecting body which results in Jihyo screeching to an abrupt halt before demanding the youngest that she hand Chaeyoung over, which Tzuyu gladly attempts to do. Nayeon has brought out thirteen more crates of fireworks and demands Jackson start to light them up, and the sky blazes alive once more in brilliant shades of green, pink, blue, and purple.

 

Dahyun runs up to them with a brilliant shine in her eyes. “Come on- let’s watch the rest of the fireworks!” She grabs both of their wrists to tug them towards the rest of their friends on the expansive lawn, where they’re dancing, singing, screaming and laughing at the sprinklers and the fireworks that shine brightly above them. Mina’s laugh is contagious and the  twisting that’s been in Momo’s chest for the past months has finally simmered down to a comfortable thrum when Mina intertwines their fingers and leans into her with sparkling laughs.

 

Momo supposes she’s not missing anything else any more.