Luhan didn't know his own feelings anymore. 

Did it hurt?

Was he happy that it was actually working?

Had it broke his heart yet?

Was he relieved?

Did he want to cry?

Or did he just want to lie alone and be at peace with himself?

It was not confusion what Luhan was going through.

He was losing his mind.

It was a feeling growing deep inside his chest and his mind and they would come together to form nothing. Luhan felt nothing.

Of perhaps he was feeling so much that he felt nothing.

He was hurt and happy at the same time. All those feelings put together made him feel like a crazy person.

The morning after his conversation with Hana, Luhan kept himself locked inside his room.

His friends tried to knock but he acted as if he was sleeping, hoping that Hana would save him somehow knowing how long they had stayed awake for.

Next came the messages.

His phone was beeping every half hour. Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Kai, Xiumin, Chen, Suho, Lay, Chanyeol, Tao, even Kris. No message from Sehun.

Knowing that he could not escape them, Luhan decided to get up and pack up his stuff. He had made up his plan.

He would leave as soon as Grandma left and, to avoid ruining her trip, he would call her straight after and tell her he'd go to visit some friend in China.

Luhan wanted to go back to China. He really wanted to.

As he had thought, there was not much to pack. Everything was neatly put in his bag and he locked it inside the wardrobe so no one would know.

He was ready.

Luhan was ready to leave everything behind and accept his fate.

Less than a week remaining and he would disappear from their lives.

All he could do in this time was make sure he did his best to help Hana and Sehun be happy together.

**********
 

He came out of his room late in the afternoon as the mansion was quiet. He could've grabbed something to eat and then ran out somewhere.

To his relief, there was no one on his way as he walked to the kitchen.

He looked around and was sure that everyone was either out or in their rooms.

He opened the double door of the kitchen and then stood frozen. 

Maybe he should've been shocked. 

Perhaps jealous. 

Or sad?

But once again, Luhan felt nothing.

An emptiness so wild in his heart that it made him crazy. 

Hana and Sehun were sitting across each other on the small table next to the counters.

The girl was feeding him something, both smiling shily. 

Baking utensils still laying around and a smell of freshly baked cookies.

Deja vu hit Luhan as he saw himself in that same room at night when he had baked cookies for Sehun. 

His first kiss.

Luhan opened his mouth to greet them but only air came out. How do you greet someone you once loved being with someone else?

So he just nodded slightly and left.

He would not embarrass himself in front of Sehun.

Suddenly anger hit Luhan.

Wasn't Sehun shameless?

They hadn't even broken up properly. 

Luhan knew it was wrong of him to think like that now because he had suggested Hana what to do to get Sehun to like her.

But Sehun?
Sehun should have said something to him.

He should've told Luhan that it was over.

That they had loved but for marriage, he wanted a girl. Someone who he could be with forever.

Someone wh