WHY CAN'T I SAY THAT I'M IN LOVE?

THANK YOU, I'M SO SORRY, LOVE YOU.
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“Luhan what…what is this?”

Sehun’s horrified eyes travelled up to Luhan’s face, looking desperately for an answer.

“Sehun-ah…” Luhan whispered. He wanted to cover himself up but there was no point now. His scars were out for Sehun to glare at. And Luhan knew that Sehun was disgusted at him. Hell, he was disgusted at his own self, so why wouldn’t Sehun be?

“It’s nothing really…” Luhan laughed nervously as he grabbed his shirt and quickly put it on covering himself.

Avoiding Sehun’s gaze, Luhan started to make his way out just to be pulled back again.

“What are you doing, Sehun?” Luhan tried to free his wrist from Sehun’s grasp without success.

“Let me go,” Luhan dropped his smile as instead of letting him go, Sehun held his wrist tighter.

“Tell me, Luhan,” Sehun said dead serious, “What happened? Where did you get all those scars from?”

“I just…fell…yeah…I fell down the stairs and…”

“Shut the up!” Sehun screamed, “Do you realize just how ridiculous you sound right now?”

Sehun’s tone made Luhan flinch. Why does he care anyway?

“Sehun-ah, if it where something serious I would have told you because believe me when I say I trust you. You are my friend so of course I would tell you everything, but this is nothing serious. It’s just…the past and sometimes the past is hard both to remember and to share. I’ve worked hard for myself to move on from…from stuff. So please don’t make me remember,” Luhan looked in Sehun’s eyes, “Friends are supposed to make each other feel happy. And that’s all I want. I just want happiness…Now please let go of me, because I need to go out to take a breath and clear my mind off before…before….” Luhan bit his lips and looked away from Sehun.

While Luhan tried his hardest to keep his tears in, Sehun stood shocked at his words.

Slowly he let go of Luhan’s wrist.

He wants happiness. That’s the only thing he wants.

Maybe you can give it to him…

*******

Luhan sat on the only bench in the back garden.

He thought about what had happened in Sehun’s room just a few minutes ago and felt sick at his reckless actions.

Sighing loudly, Luhan continued to turn the sides of his Rubik’s cube frustrated.

How am I going to face Sehun again? What if he’s disgusted at me? He is…his face when he saw my scars…obviously he is disgusted…

“Hey.”

The Rubik flew from Luhan’s hand as he looked up, expecting it to be Sehun. Maybe he’s come to check up on me…

Kris laughed at Luhan’s expression as he went to retrieve the cube.

“Thank you, Kris,” Luhan smiled as Kris handed him the cube, and sat down next to him on the bench.

“You do realize that you are going to be late for school,” Kris asked eyeing Luhan’s pajamas.

Luhan sighed, “I do but…I feel like it’s going to be a waste of time anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t even know, Kris…” Luhan’s word trailed off as he looked at the mansion where Sehun probably was.

“Is it true?” Kris asked suddenly.

“What?” Luhan looked at him curiously.

“You and Sehun?”

Luhan turned his head away, blushing. Kai, what the hell?!

“What…what do you mean by that?”

“Kai was just telling me how you asked him for help to find out if Sehun likes you back,” Kris said laughing, “He felt quite proud of himself for giving you advice actually.”

Kai?!!!!

“It’s not true!” Luhan protested, “I…”

“It’s okay,” Kris said smiling softly, “I actually need help in the same matter too.”

“You do?” Luhan playfully elbowed Kris, as the younger groaned, “Who is the lucky one?”

Kris didn’t say anything for a while, then he turned to look at Luhan.

“You…”

*******

Sehun waited for Luhan to come in the kitchen for breakfast but the older never did.

After good twenty minutes, Sehun had enough of waiting and made his way in Luhan’s room.

Seeing Luhan’s scars had somewhat scared Sehun but not in a bad way. He just felt a bit more attracted to the older. He had the strange urge to stick to him always and not let anyone and anything hurt him.

Sehun decided he would not ignore Luhan at school anymore. He just wanted to make sure that Luhan was always happy. Maybe he could even make him forget about his past…whatever it was.

As he finally arrived to Luhan’s room Sehun opened the door without knocking,

“Luhan, we need to go…” Sehun froze when he saw Kris sitting on Luhan’s bed.

“Hey!” Kris said smiling radiantly.

“Uhmm hey,” Sehun looked around, “Where’s Luhan?”

“He’s changing in there,” Kris nodded his head towards the bathroom just as Luhan made his way out, ready for school.

“Let’s go, Kris!” Luhan said smiling at him, “I’m sorry for making you wait.”

You made me wait for half an hour, Bambi!

Luhan took Kris’s hand and playfully dragged him out, then he turned around as if only then noticing Sehun. It was clear that Luhan had already wiped away what had happened in the morning with his scars and everything so Sehun decided to let it go as well. Or at least for now.

“Sehun-ah, you coming?”

Sehun nodded without really thinking. What the hell is going on?

“Luhan, I wanted to…ermmm…speak to you,” Sehun blurted out catching up with the two.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“So tell me,” Luhan said smiling, “I’m listening.”

Sehun looked at Kris and hoped he would understand.

“Well, Luhan I’ll wait for you outside,” Kris said as he started to walk away but then he stopped and turned to look at the older with a smirk, “Hyung, thanks for saying yes.”

Luhan just giggled stupidly as Sehun glared at Kris who was already out of the door.

“What did you say yes to?” Sehun asked casually.

“Huh? Ermm…nothing…” Luhan giggled again and Sehun rolled his eyes, “So what did you want to tell me?” Luhan asked calming down a bit.

Sehun ran a hand through his hair as he nervously looked at Luhan, “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay after…you know?”

“Ah let’s just forget about that. Please…” Luhan said his smile dying on his lips.

“O…okay. If that’s what you want,” Sehun said.

“Now if you excuse me, Kris is waiting for me outside so I’ll see you later.”

“Wait!”

Luhan stopped and turned around to look at Sehun.

“What?” Luhan asked smiling again.

“N…nothing…” Sehun waved his hand happily as Luhan left.

*******

Luhan stuck to Kris for the whole week and Sehun would be lying if he said he wasn’t angry about it.

He hated to admit it though, even to himself. He had wanted to spend more time with Luhan but the older seemed to not notice him anymore. It was as if he had moved from teasing Sehun to Kris.

And Sehun noticed how Kris didn’t mind being teased by Luhan at all. Unlike himself, who had always pushed the older away. Sehun knew he was paying the consequences of not having been nicer to him from the beginning.

Luhan can do whatever he wants, he’s not stuck to y

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ExoDoll
REPOSTED ON 21 03 2018
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Comments

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alya07
#1
Chapter 62: Came back here to reread again this amazing story, everytime I read this I cried and my heart really ache a lot.
Hunhan will always be a part of my memories ❤️
Maddie12578
#2
Chapter 62: I find it funny NY how most of these comments are of rereading and that is exactly what I did. I too am sobbing in my bed.
anapearl78 #3
Chapter 64: Great story authornim
Yeolbyun30 #4
Chapter 2: Going to reread in quarantine
shiho55
#5
Chapter 62: .... came back to re-read this sh*t and look at me sobbing and wiping my ugly snot @ 6 am ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THIS ENDING!!!!
XiaoShixun #6
Chapter 61: Luhan-ah :(
XiaoShixun #7
Chapter 26: Awwwwwwwww
XiaoShixun #8
Chapter 15: Luhan ahhhhhh
XiaoShixun #9
Chapter 7: Ohhhh it belongs to Luhan as well
Luhanyo #10
Chapter 62: This is gold. Thank you for writing such a wonderful story.