Never cry Lulu...it's not worth it.

Sitting down on his small desk, Luhan opened his diary to an empty white page.

Memories.

His diary is full of memories.

Some happy ones. Some sad ones. 

That's how life is for everyone. We have happy moments and sad moments. And there is nothing we can do but to live through them with a smile on our face.

Most of the memories in his diary are happy ones though, as Luhan hates to remember things that make him sad.

There are many things that make him sad.

But he has learnt to live with it.

You get used to everything, after all.

His mother's death is one of those few sad memories he has kept in his diary.

It was the least he could do in her remembrance.

He had to keep in his memory how she kissed his face that night and how when they went to sleep, she held him, but waking up he didn't feel her hold anymore.

How he had screamed for her to come back.

To take him instead.

To not leave him alone in such a big world, where he had no one left.

Heavily sighing, Luhan took out a pencil from the newly sharpened ones on his desk, and he was about to start writing down when the sleeve of his shirt moved up revealing livid skin underneath. He quickly dropped the pencil and covered his lacerated skin up.

Not that anyone would see him in the four walls he was caged inside, but still, Luhan always thought that his mother's star would occasionally look down on him from her place in heaven and he didn't want to worry her.

He slowly chuckled underneath his breath at his own stupidity: there was no point in covering up, she probably already knew how her husband treated him anyway.

But now it didn't really matter. Luhan would be joining his mother up in heaven, or wherever she was, soon.

Not that he wanted to die. His life might be hell but still, it was life. And his mother had taught him to love life.

He had no choice in this.

Earlier that day, Luhan had ended up at the hospital after an "accident" which involved his father pushing him down the stairs when he woke up late in the morning. After the scans and test, it had been revealed that he was still intact. No bones were broken or anything.

What they did