PREVIOUS STORY:

One midnight, Haeju played her first mafia game with Twice. But she felt so restless from the beginning. Apparently, her feeling was right. Twice members started to get killed one by one, just like the mafia game they just played! Jeongyeon, Sana, Tzuyu, and Haeju noticed that what happened that night was too absurd. They pinched each other's arm and found out that Haeju couldn't feel anything! They speculated that this all was just Haeju's nightmare. Unfortunately, no matter how hard they tried, Haeju couldn't wake up. While still questioning if this was real or not, the members kept dying. In the end, Tzuyu killed herself. She thought it could continue the game so the dream would end soon.

Now Haeju and Jeongyeon are the only members who're left............

Fanart credit to drawingyksl

"I'm sorry I can't....." I drop the knife on the floor.

Jeongyeon takes and puts it back on my hand "Nothing is real, Haeju. This is just a dream. Trust me!!!"

I scream as I pull my hand back. "I get it! I'm just.... I can't."

"Why??!" Jeongyeon sounds frustrated.

"This all looks so real, Jeongyeon. It's impossible for me to kill you, you know?! Even in a dream!" I yell at her. My eyes are warm. I feel the tears flow on my cheeks.

"Ahhh, I can't believe it.... You even stopped me when I tried to kill myself."

"Of course! I can't let you die, Jeongyeon."

"Then what do you want? Trap in this nightmare forever??" Jeongyeon yells at me back. The thunder covers her voice. I look at the window near us. It's dark, but from the sound, we know that the storm hasn't stopped yet. "The storm won't stop, Haeju," she says. I'm surprised because it's like she can read my mind. "You are surprised that I can read your mind, right?" She says again. "Sigh.... Anyway, I know you can't kill me or let me kill myself. I can't kill you because it will just make you lost in this dream. You will be asleep forever! 

......But I guess I know another way to wake you up."

"Really? What is it, Jeongyeon?? Hurry, tell me!"

"Actually there are two ideas that I'm thinking right now. But I hope the first one works because the other solution is kinda ambiguous. Umm... Okay, answer my question. We know you are sleeping, right? So what do you think is happening to you in real life right now?"

"I'm..... Laying on my bed?"

"What else?"

"I'm staying still...... I'm breathing........ Ah, I close my eyes! So are you suggesting that I should close my eyes here?"

"Exactly! After you close your eyes here then..."

"....I shall open my eyes in real life."

"Right!"

"I understand. Let me hold your hands," I say as I grab her hands and look at her face. Jeongyeon smiles to comfort me. I close my eyes slowly. I close them tighter, tighter, and tighter until I feel numb. Everything is dark now. I can't hear anything anymore. Then I open them again.......

"Haeju, are you okay?"

I close my eyes again so tight, then open it again. I try it several times. But still............

"It doesn't work, Ju. It's okay, stop it now," she says hopelessly. Jeongyeon feels disappointed. "Haah... I knew it. I think it's because you are in a really deep sleep right now. Like I said before, maybe you are in a coma. Anyway, that's fine. I still have one last way to wake you up," Jeongyeon holds my hand firmly and whispers to my ears.

"My biggest fear?" I ask them after she tells her second idea.

"Yes, Haeju. This is your nightmare, remember? So in this dream, something that you are really afraid of is happening right now. If we can figure that out, I think we can find out how to solve it. If the problem is solved, then your dream will end as well. Also, that can make you fully aware that this is just a dream. If this plan works, it will be great!" Jeongyeon explains to me.

I look at her as I'm thinking. What is my biggest fear? I'm trying to remember what was going on tonight. Momo was angry.... I doubt everyone while playing mafia.... Mina and Sana killed herself.... Tzuyu stabbed Jihyo to death...... Everyone died one by one in front me.....

"Hehehehehe...."

Jeongyeon is surprised that suddenly I'm chuckling by myself. "Wha... What is it?"

"Hehe.... I get it now, Jeongyeon." I say as I wipe my hair and lift my heads up. The storm is suddenly stopped as I think about it. I close the door that's far from us with my mind. I start to control my dream! A tear comes out from the edge of my right eyes. "My biggest fear is.......

...Losing Twice."

"Losing.... Us?"

I turn my face to look at her. I smile widely. "Yes."

"But why? Why are you feeling that? Why does it bother you this much that makes you dream about it??"

"Hmm.... Why you ask?" Now that I'm fully aware that this is a dream, I try to bring everyone's back to life. With the sound of the storm that starts again, zombie-like Twice members appear behind Jeongyeon. Momo.... Chaeyoung.... Dahyun..... Mina..... Nayeon..... Sana..... Jihyo..... And Tzuyu......  Those faces that I've killed miserably. In this dark dorm, only flashes of lightning from the outside that can illuminate them, makes them even look scarier. Now all of them come back to life, even though they look so soulless. Jeongyeon looks terrified to see that. "I.... I'm the only one left.... Is this my turn to die, Hae.... Haeju?"

I don't answer her question. Instead, I take a candle out of nowhere and light it up, put it between me and her. "You may have noticed it now, Jeongyeon. Yes, I'm controlling them. And as you said earlier, the key to beat this nightmare is to find out what my fear is. I've realized it....." I wipe my tears before it reaches my chin. "Now let me tell you one honest story. It's about the real me. The real Haeju......"

Jeongyeon looks confused. But fear makes her open unconsciously. "This is not what I imagine when I said that I hoped you fully-aware with your dream, Ju....." The other members are circling her slowly. She looks at their dead faces. Jeongyeon, the bravest member of Twice, hides her face out of fear, by her very own friends. I guess I would be scared too if I'm in her position right now. Ahhh, I'm the one who is scary anyway...........

I clear my throat.

"The truth is... Do you know that I'm socially awkward?"

Fanart credit to resanatori

"Yes, I have this really bad habit of leaving my friends. Every time I get too close to someone, The next day I try to avoid them," I start speaking, "Yeah, it's as weird as how it sounds. I'm not sure why I do that. There are no such things as ex-best friends in this life, but I have plenty of them. I guess I'm afraid to have a bond with someone. I hardly trust people. 

As I'm growing, I learned not to trust people and live individually. It's always hard for me to make a new friend. I'm afraid that if I befriend someone, I would just end up leaving them. I'm afraid to break my heart and that person's heart. 

One day I just gave up. I tried to embrace loneliness and apparently that wasn't so bad. I tried to unlove people and became a lone wolf. I was used to being lonely. Surprisingly being alone made me stronger. When I debut as an idol, I succeeded in pursuing my dream. It was for no one, but me! So after I failed in that group I was very depressed because I thought I had lost everything. But thanks to my Auntie and all the cafe staffs who cheered me up, I got my motivation back. They made me realize that having friends made me even stronger. That day I changed my mind. I started to believe that friendship was so important in my life. With my friends supported me from behind, I became the member of Korea's national girl group: Twice. I became one of you.

But the bad habit is still here. You know, I really enjoy being close with someone. But I try not to do that because I know if I get too close with someone, I might automatically leave them one day. But you guys are so different. You are all so nice. I feel very comfortable and loved. All the hate I get from the public doesn't make me down when I'm with Twice. Tzuyu is a very lovable dongsaeng. Sana always makes me feel special. Mina can always understand what I feel. Nayeon mostly thinks the same with me because we share the same age. Chaeyoung shares the same interest with me. Dahyun always gives me the positive energy. Momo is one of the great people since she accepts me after all the things I did to her. Jihyo cares so much to me and I admire her. And you, Jeongyeon, have the best personality here. I really love you all, but........

.....as the love gets stronger, I doubt myself even more.

I think 'maybe 'they don't like me as much as I enjoy being around with them' or 'do they just pretend to like me?' or sometimes I thought 'I'm sure a burden for them because I bring nothing here except problems'. I'm afraid that you guys don't like me. I'm insecure with what I feel to you. I deny it when you guys care to me. I deny it even when it's just a smile. I'm afraid it won't last long. I'm afraid to be left again. And I'm afraid I love you guys too much that, in the end, makes me leaving you again..............

I'm not a typical person who is afraid of blood, ghosts, bugs or snake. I'm not afraid of the death. I'm not afraid of people who are stronger than me. No. And I guess I'm not afraid of loneliness either. I'm just afraid to have friends. I'm afraid of losing them. I confess that I--" I'm sobbing that makes me can't continue my sentences. My faces are so wet of tears. I hear Jeongyeon is screaming like she is tortured. She is now perfectly hidden behind the circle of the Twice zombie. Now some of the members are walking staggeringly towards me. Their eyes are empty. Their arms are stretched forward as they want to catch me. But suddenly I can't move my body. I'm paralyzed!

"Haejuuuuu!!! Heeeeeeeeeelpppp!!!"

There's nothing I can do. I feel them slowly grabbing my head and arms as they want to break it. All of their faces are now broken that I can't identify them anymore. Someone covers my eyes and pushes me. My body gets so heavy and heavier. I feel so cold. My head is dizzy. But I try so hard not to close my eyes...

I confess that I'm afraid of being loved............

"Haeju, are you okay?" I'm shocked! I see Jeongyeon is right in front of my face. She looks so worried. It's so bright all of sudden that makes me dazzled, so I try to cover my eyes quickly.

"No no no nooooo!!!" Some people behind Jeongyeon make noises. It's Twice! Everybody is here.

"Don't move your hand recklessly, Ju," Jeongyeon says. I notice that my hand is connected by a pipe to an infusion pump. I'm also laying on a bed in a cold room. I... I......

"What's happening here?" I ask them weakly.

"You are in a hospital, Ju. You've been here for more than two weeks now."

What?? Gosh..... Oh right, I realize I have something to do! "JEONGYEON ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"Wait, Ju, calm down, I....."

"I NEED TO GO BACK! ALL OF YOU.... JEONGYEON IS DYING.... I...... WHA..........." 

"It's just a dream, Unnie," Tzuyu  my hair gently. Now they are trying to calm me down. Dahyun gives me a glass of water to drink.

I'm frozen as I'm so confused. I know what's happening, but I don't know what to do. "May I ask something to you, guys?" Everyone becomes silent to hear my question. "Why are you all guys here?"

Nayeon answers, "Well, the schedule is rearranged after you get sick. So we are all free now. And we can't just let you alone in the hospital all the time so--"

"BUT WHY???" I cut her. She looks startled. I beat my fear and ask them what I've been curious for a long time. "Why do you care about me?"

Now everyone is focused on me. They look afraid and confused. I guess they don't know what to answer......

"Because...." Sana starts to speak,"......You are our friend, silly!" She looks at me in the eyes. "You are MY friend."

"My friend too!" Mina follows her.

"Yeah, my friend too," Chaeyoung says.

"But.... But.... I'm not a good friend. I'm not fun nor kind. Since I have been here, there are already so many problems that I make. I'm troublesome. I know I need to be taken care a lot and I bet it's tiring for you. To be honest, I'm okay if you all treat me just as a partner for work. It was not your decision to recruit as Twice members anyway. But still, why you treat me as a friend??" I tell them what I truly feel. Maybe I shouldn't say something like that. I don't know what I shall do anymore. I.....

"Yeah, you are NOT my friend!!!" Momo says. Everyone is surprised to hear that. Momo approaches me,"You are my FAMILY now. It's already like that, Haeju. And now I just can't leave you. We can't leave a family member, right?"

"Yeah.. Yeah.. Agree..." The others look at each other while mumbling.

"Really?"

"Of course, dear."

I'm so touched to hear that. I'm speechless, but I feel relieved. I look at their beautiful faces one by one. Suddenly my head becomes so heavy......

All my body are shivering......

I feel so weak........

Everything becomes so dark again........

.......Slowly

"HAEJU! STAY!!!!

Haeju...!

Haeju.........!

Haejuuuuu............

"I DON'T WANT TO PLAY!!!" Momo yells. She turns her face away from us while we are all watching her blankly. 

"C'mon, Momo! Everyone is waiting. It won't be fun without you," Jeongyeon says.

Wait? What is this? I'm back! Everyone is fine now.

"..........But this is Haeju's first mafia game. Right, Ju?" Jeongyeon says again.

Is she asking me? Ah, right, just like the beginning of my dream. Now there's something I need to change.....

"Right!" I step forward confidently this time. "You are right, Momo," I whisper to her.

"Right about what?" Momo turns her head to see me with her confused face.

"I mean.... Can we just play it, pleaaaase?" I kneel in front of her while holding her hands. I'm being bubbly in front of her so she notices me. "Please play the game for me. I am the new Twice family member, aren't I?" I try to persuade her. "You know what, I will make sure we play it as a family this time. No one will get hurt. Deal?" 

"I don't want to get hurt again....."

"You won't! I promise."

Momo looks into my eyes deeply. "For our family?"

"For our family." I nod and smile. "Trust me."

In the end, as I wish, Momo agrees. Everyone is happy because of that. They her to go outside the room. I realize that it's just blankly white behind the door. Nothing's more. I'm looking at Sana and Tzuyu are leaving the room when suddenly a hand surprises me from behind. It's Jeongyeon!

"I've got my answer, Jeongyeon. I understand now," I tell her. Well, in fact, I'm just asking myself. She is just someone in my head after all.

"What is it?"

"I always believe that no friendship lasts forever. I believe that I'm not born to get a long-lasting friend. It's because I'm so bad at socializing. I won't be a good friend for anyone. I feel like it's my destiny."

Jeongyeon is listening to me closely.

"But then I realize that's not the case." I grab her arm. "If I want a best friend, I need to pursue it! I need to keep trying to be their best friend."

"Yup! Friendship is not a magic, it's a miracle of hard work....." I'm surprised with what Jeongyeon says. I try to understand what she means. "The members already love you, Haeju. You have known that. Now all is up to you," she says again.

I take a deep breath. "Yeah, you are right, Jeongyeon. I guess loving is not that easy........." I say as I pull her out of the room. Jeongyeon walks along with me. We go to the bright light. Disappear here. Together. I  really love my new friends, Twice! If I don't want them to leave me one day, I shall start to believe that they love me too. I need to believe that they won't leave me alone. That they need me as much I need them.........

......I have to trust them!

((Author's note))

Finally, it's over :)

This story is not so "angst", right? :p Poor Haeju, somehow she struggles so much as the new Twice member. I learn so many things as I create this oc and write stories about her. Now she has solved one of her biggest issues. It's time to move on to the next season ^^

I'm excited to show you what I've prepared in season 2. There are some changes that I make there. I don't know exactly when I can post every chapter, so subscribe to get notified! Hehe.... Thanks for accompanying me all this time. See youuuuu~!