My name is Ahn Haeju and yes, I'm the 10th member of Twice! 

I know right!!! I also can't believe that PD-nim adds a new member (and chooses me). Fyi, being the new Twice member is actually tiring. There are always medias that want to interview you, cameras always follow all the time, not to mention the tight schedule that Twice has. Everyone that I meet always talks about the pro and contra about adding me to Twice, not even ask what I'm actually feeling about it. Not mentioning all the hate or pressuring comments on the internet that makes me even more tired. I also need to catch up with Twice routines, practices, and so much more. Many new things have happened in my life these past 2 weeks...

Anyway, today I'm going to tell you a story about how I can become an idol like this. The days before I join Twice...

As you know, I was a vlogger before. I talked about my daily life on videos, I went to famous places, did food hunting, or sometimes gave some make-up tutorials. I also covered some Kpop songs that I liked and uploaded them to youtube. One day, I got an invitation from an idol agency to be a trainee. I was really happy! I joined the agency and became a trainee. I was so hard-working there. I left my youtube life and focused on improving my singing and dancing skill. For me, every day was filled with practices, practices, and practices! My life was all about becoming an idol. I was so passionate. There was only one thing in my head: to debut!

And you know what, after 3 years I nailed it! I finally debut as a leader of that girl group. I and the other 4 girls were so excited about it. We recorded an album, made an MV, performed on music shows, did a showcase, did photo shoots, and became a guest for an Idol-related TV show. But unfortunately, we didn't get so much attention. Our agency wasn't just new, they were also inexperienced. Things weren't managed well by them. In the end, things really didn’t go well and the group had to be disbanded. Our agency went bankrupt.

I was so depressed back there. I thought that my career had totally ended. Well, becoming a trainee wasn't easy and I'd debut as a fail group so I didn't think any agency wanted to recruit me. I abandoned my vlog channel because I've lost most of my subscribers. I felt so doomed. I also became so lonely. Sometimes I still met-up with the girls from my group, but we were all sad those meetings just made me felt more terrible. I didn't have a job and I left college so I was mostly just in my room doing nothing......

Fortunately, I had a really nice auntie. She asked me to sing in her little cafe every Friday-Sunday nights. It didn't mean so much, but at least I had better things to do than crying alone every night. I also made some new friends there, which were the staffs of the cafe. Most of them were male and funny, so it was kinda entertaining to see them tried to steal my heart every day. Hohoho...

After being a cafe singer for a few months, came a day that changed everything. A staff of JYPe visited the cafe! He saw me sang and then talked to me. He was actually interested when I said I was a member of that disbanded girl group. After few days, he offered me a chance to join JYPe trainee audition. To be honest, I wasn’t really enthusiastic about debuting anymore at first. But with the support from my auntie and all of the cafe staffs, I finally went to the audition. Long story short, I made it! I became a trainee again!!! I ran to the cafe and cried in front of my auntie. I said I felt so thankful for her kindness. I also did a little party with my friends there. I was sooooooo happy! My hope had finally come back...

After being a JYPe trainee the first thing I did was learning how to rap. Hip-hop was so popular and I liked it too, so I think it would be fun if I was able to rap when I debut later. I told my ambition to the instructors and they were really opened about that. I learned about rapping a lot from them, besides learning many new things about singing and dancing. I also became a good friend of GOT7's Mark sunbae. He taught me a lot of rap techniques when he as on hiatus. He was one of my role model in rapping because I really like his rap style even before I entered JYPe. That actually something that makes me, uhm, awkward with Sana hehe... People tell me that there is something between two of them.

In 2020, as you know, finally I debut again as the 10th member of Twice. Me (and JYP-nim himself) gave a big controversy because of that. I got a lot of critics from the public. Bad comments were (and still are) everywhere! Not just from Thrice, but even some of the Once. But I understand that because I'm joining the already-famous girl group. People around me, including PD-nim, told me not to worry about that. But to be honest I'm so excited! I can't wait to live a life as an idol. Maybe things will become so hard and no one can't guarantee that Twice will survive with me inside. It will be the worst case if this time the group I'm joining is banned AGAIN. Haahhhh..... Anyway, I'll just face it. I've failed before anyway so I'll just give my best this time. I have nothing to lose!

Fightiiiiiiing!!!