“Hey you!”

The other girl turned around confused. I sat up on the desk next to her. I figured she needed some help making friends, she hadn’t talked to anyone all day.

“What’s your name kid?”

“Tzuyu, Tzuyu Chou.” She said quietly.

“I’m Dahyun Kim, we’re friends now ok?”

“Umm really?” She had a faint smile on her face that you could barely see, but it was there.

“Yeah of course! It’s the first day of school, but I haven’t seen you talk to anyone yet! You’re pretty shy huh?”

Tzuyu shakes her head a little and gives me this awkward look that made me laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you fix that! Where would you be without me Chou Tzuyu?”

“Umm it’s Tzuyu Chou.”

I get down from the desk and put my arm around her, “I know, but it sounds better that way don’t you think?”

On that first day of 6th grade Tzuyu Chou and I became best friends. My friendship with Tzuyu was very important to me. To me she was someone worth protecting from the world. I’d do anything for her, no matter what it was. If anyone messed with her, I made sure to make them regret it. On our last day as 8th graders, I went to Tzuyu’s house to sleepover, which we did every year. When I got to there, her mom opened the door and let me in.

“Is Tzuyu home?”

“Ah yes, she’s in her room, go ahead and let yourself in, I’m sure she’s not doing anything right now.”

“Ok thanks!”

I rushed over to Tzuyu’s room and opened the door.

“Yo Tzuyu I’m he-”

I saw Tzuyu laid out on her back on her bed knocked out.

“Seriously Tzuyu? It’s barely 5pm.” I laugh to myself.

I set my stuff down and walk over to the sleeping giant. I walk over slowly and look at her sleeping face. She looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake her. I find myself getting closer and closer to her face and with each inch my heart beats faster. Our faces end up so close that our noses touch. At this point my heart was beating so fast, that I couldn’t think straight. What was going on with me? I don’t even know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to stop. I close my eyes, but as soon as I do…

“AHH DAHYUN!”

Tzuyu jumps up and we bump heads.

“Ahh my head! Tzuyu why’d you have to jump up!?” Seriously why? Actually more importantly, what was I about to do?

“You’re the one that scared me! Talk about a rude awakening. Why would you even scare me like that? You couldn’t wake me up like a normal person?”

I most certainly wasn’t attempting to scare her. I think…I think I was close to kissing her. I didn’t tell Tzuyu what I was actually doing because I wasn’t exactly sure myself, so I just went along with her.

“C’mon, I just couldn’t resist your sleeping face haha.” At least I wasn’t lying.

“Anyway, what do you want to do?” She says as she rubs her forehead.

“The usual duh.” I say rubbing mine.

We spent that night doing what we usually do, eating food and watching kdramas, but I couldn’t stop this lingering feeling. I never put much thought into it after that day, and next thing you know we were high school freshman. So far the year was pretty good and high school wasn’t so bad, until one day Tzuyu came up to me in class.

“Dahyun! You’ll never guess what happened yesterday!”

Tzuyu had been over at a family friend’s house, she didn’t really like it there because the kids go crazy.

“What did you get beat up by some kids?” I chuckle.

“No! Chaeyoung added me on Facebook! Or I added her rather, but she accepted!”

Chaeyoung was one of the most popular girls in school, she was stunning and talented. I had no idea she even knew who Tzuyu was. Suddenly I started getting this uneasy feeling.

“No way! What did you message her!?” I ask cautiously.

Tzuyu tells me that she didn’t message Chaeyoung anything and the uneasy feeling starts to fade away. I tell her jokingly that she should message Chaeyoung and tell her she wants to get to know her better, knowing Tzuyu, she would be too shy to do that sort of thing, but then at school the next day…

“No way. I don’t believe it.” I said shocked.

“It’s true! She’s so fun to talk to! Why don’t you believe me!?”

It’s not that I didn’t really believe her, Tzuyu isn’t one to lie. It’s more like I didn’t want to believe her. Suddenly I hear a voice coming from the hall.

“Tzuyu! Hey Tzuyu!”

I look over at the door and Chaeyoung is there jumping and waving her hands in the hallway.

“Wow.” I let out in disbelief.

“What?” Tzuyu asks as she waves at the door.

“Seeing really is believing. She really likes you too.”

The uneasy feeling I had yesterday came right back.

“What? No way, we barely started talking.”

I look at Tzuyu, shocked at how she can be so naïve.

“No one just yells out a person’s name after they just met, unless they really like them.”

Our teacher comes in and I’m stuck with myself daydreaming in class. Chaeyoung is pretty and talented and so is Tzuyu. What would I do if they started dating? The thought of it sends shivers down my spine. Why am I even feeling this way? After class finishes, I see Tzuyu and Chaeyoung talking to each other by the lockers and I quickly walked passed them. I didn’t know what to feel, but I knew I wasn’t happy. Later that week I’m over at Tzuyu’s house and somehow Chaeyoung comes up, much to my dismay. I look at the way Tzuyu talks about her and how wide her smile goes and I can’t help but wonder if Tzuyu has ever talked about me with a look like that on her face.

“She really makes you happy doesn’t she?” I ask.

“Yeah she does, I’m always looking forward to school because I know I’m going to see her.”

My heart aches a little as I hear that, and I wonder, did you not look forward to seeing me, your best friend? I dismissed the thought because I know how Tzuyu feels about me. Of course she would look forward to seeing her best friend. Best friends. Right.

“Hmm so…”

“So…what?” Tzuyu asks.

“When are you going to ask her out?” I ask sarcastically.

I take a look at Tzuyu who starts acting flustered. Does the thought of asking out Chaeyoung really get her that excited?

“Do…do you really think I should?” She asks.

“TZUYU!” I yell out.

I tell her all the reasons that she should go for it, because it is so obvious that they like each other that the fact that they’re not already dating was frustrating me. Or was that really the reason? Yes, of course it is, I need to be a supportive best friend and help Tzuyu get what she wants and what will make her happy. That’s what would make me happy, right?

“… you know what? I’m gonna ask her out.” She says.

“Wait… really!?“

She nods her head with a smile.

“Yes! That’s my girl! When and how are you gonna do it huh?”

“I…I have no idea…help me Dahyun!” I cry out.

“Where would you be without me Chou Tzuyu?”

“You know you always say that, but honestly, I don’t know where I would be without you Dahyun. You’re the best.”

“I know I am, maybe you should just date me, I know everything you need.” I kid.

I look over at Tzuyu who stopped talking.

“We’d make a pretty good couple wouldn’t we?” She laughs.

The thought of it makes me smile.

“Nah, never mind that sounds so weird!” Tzuyu laughs.

And it’s gone.

“Yeah weird!” I try to laugh, but nothing comes out.

The rest of the night we go over ways Tzuyu will ask out Chaeyoung and I see the smiles and hear the laughs coming from Tzuyu and I tell myself, as long as she’s happy that’s what matters. The day Tzuyu is supposed to ask out Chaeyoung, I decide to sit and wait for her at school. I wanted to know how things went right away. Soon I see Tzuyu and Chaeyoung come back to the school and I notice Chaeyoung is walking further away as Tzuyu just stands there. I run over to Tzuyu to see what happened.

“Well!? How’d it go!? I’ve been waiting here this whole time. She said yes right? Where is she going?”

“She…she didn’t say yes…”

As soon as those words leave , tears start rolling down her eyes.

“She said no!? What!? Hold up Tzuyu, I’ll be right back. I’m going to give her a piece of my mind. Maybe even a piece of my fist we’ll see.”

I was furious, how could someone be so stupid to reject Tzuyu? And to hurt her to the point she cries? I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.

“No! Dahyun stop!” Tzuyu grabs my arm and pulls me back.

“Why!? She hurt you didn’t she!”

“No! She didn’t reject me.”

“What are you talking about? Then why are you crying?”

“I don’t know why. I…I…just couldn’t do it.”

I was confused, but I just sat down with Tzuyu and hugged her as she cried.

“I couldn’t do it Dahyun…why couldn’t I do it?”

I was so worried about Tzuyu, but at the same time, I felt…relieved. Part of me didn’t really want her to go through with it. I wasn’t sure what a future without Tzuyu always with me was going to be like, but now as I see Tzuyu here in tears, I instantly regret this feeling of relief. All I want is to help her.

“Ok well, what are you going to do now?” I ask.

“I’m not sure, I definitely want to tell Chaeyoung how I feel, but maybe not right now. I’m scared I’ll freeze up again.”

“Are you sure? Freshman year is almost over. What if you don’t get another chance?”

“Oh that’s right, finals are soon too.”

The frustration on her face was clear. I could tell how badly she wanted to express her feelings to Chaeyoung.

“Maybe tell her after finals. It should give you enough time to sort your feelings out and maybe we’ll be able to come up with a better plan this time. Sound good?”

“I don’t think I have any other choice.”

When I wasn’t studying I was thinking of ways to help Tzuyu out. Whenever I wasn’t doing that I was thinking about how I could help myself. Why do I feel so uneasy when I see Chaeyoung and Tzuyu together, or when Tzuyu starts talking about her? I don’t hate Chaeyoung at all, in fact, if I would totally date her myself. Was I jealous of Tzuyu? No, that’s not it, she deserves to be happy. I started to think again how a future with Tzuyu spending more time with Chaeyoung would mean spending less time with me. Was I afraid of losing Tzuyu? She wouldn’t leave me alone would she? I decide to dismiss all these thoughts and go back to studying. Besides, Tzuyu and I have been best friends for years, nothing would ever change that. After finals were over I left my class quickly to go find Tzuyu. I looked all over for her and eventually I found her in the sitting by herself on a bench.

“Tzuyu!” I yell out.

She looks up from her phone with and expressionless face and drops her head back down.

“What happened? Were you able to do it this time?”

“I didn’t even get the chance. I tried to find her, but I couldn’t get to her in time.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense school hasn’t even been ove