Suddenly I can only hear my own heartbeat because the world has gone silent. My erratic breathing is making everything worse. I feel as though I’m going to faint any time soon. I feel hot. No… I feel cold. My mind’s in a daze. I want to run, but I couldn’t move my legs. And no. I’m not dreaming. Because if I am, his image should’ve disappeared the moment I blinked my eyes. But no matter how much I do, he’s still right in front of me with all his glory.

I feel like the stars have realigned and they are where supposed to be they’re not.

I am so going to kill Seulgi later.

He cleared his throat, but before he could even utter a word, I beat him to that. It got all the bravery I possess in my body to speak… and to say his name. “Mark,” I gulped. It feels weird to say his name after a very long time. “We’ve met again.”

He stared at me for a long time before giving me a reply. I’m not sure if he feels the same way but by the way that he’s acting, he probably is. “Indeed,” he gave me a smile. Oh, that smile. “Wendy.”

He took few steps closer to me. . No. Why is he being like this? But like what, Wendy? Stop being crazy and chill the up. Don’t be the sore loser that you are. You are better than that. Do not embarrass yourself to your ex-boyfriend, okay? But why am I still affected? Maybe because of the fact that after we broke up during senior year at college, I never really dated anyone again? But it’s not my fault that I’ve decided to focus on my career! Okay, Wendy. Relax. Breathe in… breathe out—wrong move. I inhaled his perfume. It was different. But it’s something that he definitely would choose. It’s nice—okay. I’ll stop.

“I didn’t know that you were the one that Seulgi was talking about.”

“I didn’t know about you, either.” I’m not sure what’s the meaning of that all too familiar smile in his face but I’m not liking it. And I am not liking this! “I never thought you’d agree to something like t—”

“Sheez, not like I have a choice. Never pegged you as that kind of person, either.”

“I’ve got no choice, too. Jb is really annoying so—”

“Those lovebirds should stop playing matchmaker. And hey, you’re friends with Jb?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I am not?”

“Ugh,” I should’ve told Seulgi about him. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I did. But then again, it seems like the world is playing tricks on the two of us right now. “Let’s just go and present ourselves to them.”

“That’s all?”

“What do you want, then?”

“It’s a party, Wendy. You’re supposed to have fun.” With you? No thanks. I might die.

“Are you telling me to enjoy the party with you?”

“Is that what you think I’m trying to tell you?” There he is again with his word play. I never thought that after all these years, I would hear him do it again. “Come on, Wendy.” He opened the car for me. Wow. Are we really doing this? Are we going to pretend like nothing’s wrong? I mean, is there something wrong in the first place? “Get in.”

In my head, I’ve rolled my eyes so many times already. I just can’t do it right in front of him. Or won’t. It’s weird. He used to tease me a lot about it so I’m not going to give him the satisfaction into teasing me about it again. Maybe there are really things in life that doesn’t change.

We’re going to a party hosted by Irene, a friend of mine. And of course she’s a friend of Seulgi, too. When I told Seulgi that I’m coming alone, her eyes immediately sparked as if she was thinking of something stupid such setting me up… and that’s what she actually did. With the help of Jb, his boyfriend. That, well, also kind of became my friend. Damn. I won’t let her do this again. I can already feel that this is going to be an epic fail. In a sense that I’m never dating my date ever again.

“How have you been, Mark?” saying his name still feels weird. I’ve never referred to this Mark for years. And then suddenly, I am doing it again. “It has been a long time.”

“It is.”

“So how are you doing? Tell me a thing or two about your life. Come on.” I don’t understand either why I’m acting all friendly but if the goal is just to get this thing done, then might as well play my role.

“How about you tell me a thing or two about yourself first?”

“Fine,” this time I wasn’t able to stop myself from rolling my eyes. He laughed. Wow. That laughter. “I just passed the bar exam!”

“So you’re Attorney Wendy now? Sounds nice.”

“It does.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Me too.” Then we both laughed. Does laughing with your ex-boyfriend count as part of growing up? Because right now, I feel like an actual grown up. And a little silly. “It has always been my dream to become a lawyer.”

“I know. And I know that you’ll be able to do it.”

“Thanks. I guess.”

“It’s cool. You have always been the guardian. Always helping people out. Now you’ll be able to do it on a larger scale.”

“I wouldn’t deny that,” I grinned. “That’s why I’m working for a firm concerned with abuse.”

“That’s great.”

“Thanks. It might sound like a big, fat BS for other people but I really do love helping people out.”

“It’s not bull. Helping people is never a bull.”

“That’s true. So Mark,” I noticed how I’ve been talking about myself when I asked him first. “What’s up with you?”

“I just got my Ph.D recently.” Well that’s expected. “Full time clinician, part time lecturer.”

“That’s awesome! We’re on the same field.”

“Not really.”

“Of course not but we’re both after helping people out. Isn’t that the reason why you took up BS Psychology in the first place? I remember you telling me that before.”

“After all these years I never thought I’d still be surprised by your sharp memory.”

“HAH! Of course Son Wendy will never fail to surprise you.” I said with a cocky voice. I’m starting to get a little too comfortable around him. “Hey, aren’t you seeing anyone? Did Jb pulled you into this?”

“I’ve got no choice.”

“You always do.”

He grinned. “That’s my line.”

“I’m stealing it for tonight.”

“Okay, I’ll let you have it then.”

“So… are you seeing anyone?”

“Not at this moment. We’re kind of… in a break.”

“Oh yea? Don’t worry. I won’t be stealing you from her.” He shrugged. I hate it when he does that. I’m not sure if he’s trying to end the conversation or what. “And besides, I’ve got some savings to do. No time for love.”

“Ouch.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I feel bad for the boys trying to lurk around you.”

“Don’t be.”

“Yes, boss.” Damn. Boss. He used to call me that. A lot. When he noticed my silence, he immediately said sorry. “I’m sorry. It just kind of came out.”

“It’s fine. And oh, hey, you said ‘we’ so you’re still after her? Waiting for her?”

“Why are you so interested with my love life?”

“Well you can’t blame a curious cat!”

“You’re a chipmunk, not a cat—”

“, you didn’t! Don’t ever say that again!”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t. I’m too old for that.”

“No one’s too old for anything, Wendy.”

“You and your wise words,” I rolled my eyes. “I wonder where you’ve got them.”

“From you, of course.”

“But we stopped talking for seven years!”

“That doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten all about your wise words, Boss.”

“Boss? Really, Mark? After apologizing for calling me that, you are calling me that? Again?” Never mind. I should just change the topic. Or go back to the topic. “So tell me about this girl.”

“I don’t think it matters. We’re no longer together, anyway.”

“If you don’t talk about it, you still care.”

“That, I do not agree.” His voice is flat and there’s some seriousness in it. He so cares about that girl. And since I’m bored, I’ll ask him about it. He won’t get mad. I know. How? That, I do not know. I just know that he won’t get mad at me.

“So? Tell me about her. Is she even half as y as me?”

“Fine.” I don’t know what he’s trying to do but he’s breathing and breathing out for about seven times. Huh. Why is he trying to calm himself down? Is he going to drop a bomb? What kind of bomb? This boy never failed in making me curious. “She’s Japanese.”

“That’s all?”

“A little on the quirky side. She’s awesome. Though her voice is really tiny and annoying for most people, I actually kind of liked it. And she made me want to protect her.”

“But?”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s obviously a ‘but’, you know?”

“I’m not going into that.”

“Fine.” But it’s funny how he sounds so cheesy. That’s so not like him. Or maybe he’s no longer the Mark I know? Just someone I used to know? That probably sounds dramatic but I guess that’s how life works. And it’s not like seven years is a short time. Many things could happen in a minute, what more for seven years.

But then again, you never told me that.

“I never told you what?” I immediately turned to look at him. Tell me I didn’t utter those words out loud. “The ‘protect’ her ?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” I replied with so much embarrassment. What the hell is happening to me? “Don’t mind that.”

“But do you want me to answer that?” The truth? Of course I do. I’m just curious. After all, curiosity makes the world go round.

“It’s up to you.”

“I’ll tell you.”

“If you want to—”

“You have always been the hero of your own story, Wendy. And everyone else’s.”

“What do you mean by that?” Am I supposed to get offended now? Am I not deserving of any ‘protecting’? . I need to stop. I’m an adult. I should act like one. But my goodness, I can’t believe I’m acting silly right now.

“You of all people should know that everyone needs protecting in one way or another. After all, you were the one who taught me that.”

“So?”

He chuckled. I’m not being funny here so why is chuckling? “So you also need one. But you’ve always been the one protecting than the one being protected.”

“Enlighten me.”

“You don’t want to be a nuisance to other people. And to tell you truth, you’re never one.”

“Mark—”

“But you know, I’m in this profession to be of help to people, right? And I’ve always wanted to this. And so are you. That’s why you’re also a lawyer. So we’re both protecting people, we’re both trying to help. But you know what? I know this may sound like a real bull but—”

“Don’t say it—”

“You are the one that I wanted to protect most. Not even Sana…”

“Sana—oh. The girl.”

“Hmmhm.”

I didn’t even realize that he’d parked the car already until he opened the door for me.

“Come on, Wendy. Let’s enjoy this night.” Surely will.

***

This is my first college party ever. Wow. I never thought I’d actually enjoy it. Parties aren’t my thing, anyway. People are fine with me. However, I don’t like the smell of alcohol. And sweat. But just like what I’ve said, I’m actually enjoying it. Probably because of this certain person?

“So… law, huh?”

“Damn right. I’ll be protecting people against all odds years from now.”

“You might have already been doing it.”

“Well I don’t know. But I’d like to be of help to people someday. Especially those who need it most.” Anyone can dream! “And you’re taking up BS Psych.”

“You’re taking up AB Psych.”

“Pre-law,” I grinned, “Okay? How about you?”

“I don’t know. Clinician, maybe? Who knows?”

“You won’t venture into IO?”

“I told you,” this time, he grinned. “I don’t know.”