5/?

23rd December 2015, 07:45am

Yoona began to master the art of pretending when it came to Jessica Jung; pretending the fact that Jessica loved someone else didn’t bother her, pretending that her own feelings didn’t exist, pretending that it was all good, it was all fine. Just . No feelings. And as Jessica dropped down to claim her lips once more, the sky still dark and brooding outside the window, soft and warm and wet was the feeling of Jessica’s mouth. She thought that maybe she could go on pretending forever, if it meant waking up to this, her, every day.

“Good morning.” Yoona groaned in delight as Jessica rolled to lay beside her.

“Morning,” Jessica laughed lightly, tucking herself into Yoona’s side.

She often imagined the time they spent together as being enclosed in a kind of bubble, and because it was enclosed in this bubble, it didn’t count as real life per se. And, of course, her logic was awfully skewed, but she was pretending wasn’t she. In this little bubble was where she and Jessica laid and slept soundlessly, laughed and traced their fingers over each other in affection, where it was just them, and any outside intrusions or obstacles or real-life consequences could not come within an inch of them.

It was a beautiful little place that Yoona never wanted to leave.

“You sleep well?” She asked, her hand drifting over Jessica’s spine lazily.

“Like a baby.” Jessica confirmed, her words muffled against Yoona’s neck. “But you were sleep talking again.”

“Sorry,” she says, unsurprised. “What was I saying this time?”

“Mostly gibberish. Something about going to the park with Sooyoung and your mum not letting you?” Jessica yawned.

“Oh. That’s weird.” She tried to laugh, but it was hard, because she dreamed of her mother often; as if her ghost was still stalking around in the back of Yoona’s head. Her mother wasn’t really dead, though. But she might as well have been. Her father too.

“Not as weird as some of your other sleep talking.”

“That’s true.” She glanced at her alarm clock. “. We should probably get up soon. I gotta get to work.”

“The fact that you have to work this close to Christmas should be a crime.”

“You’re telling me.” She stretched as she stood. Jessica watched her in silence. And Yoona loved her like that – all messy hair, bare skin and morning breath.

Once she’d stumbled through her morning routine, still wiping sleep from her heavy eyes, she leaned over and placed a warm kiss to Jessica’s lips. “Sleep more. You’ve got keys. Lock up when you go.”

She smiled as Jessica mumbled something close to an ‘okay’ before dozing off. Gathering her belongings, she jostled down the stairs and stepped outside, taking in the cold winter air. The sky was dark above her. She closed the door and drove away, leaving Jessica in her bed - it was becoming a habit.

* * *

6th November 2016, 13:14pm (Present)

“What we’re giving you here is an unmatched profit margin. No other company could supply you with as much room for growth or creative development.” Her motions and smiles and the words coming from feel so distant to her, as if she’s a spectator to her own actions. The room of eyes are watching her and she feels hot at the ears. “And don’t worry, I know you’re probably thinking that we must think a lot of ourselves if we’re putting forward these unusually high figures.” She gestures to the slide being projected onto the screen and receives a round of light laughs from her spectators. “If I were sitting where you are, I’d be concerned too. But these figures aren’t just estimations or numbers pulled from thin air. No.” She casts a well measured glance around the room; all suits and broad shoulders with slicked back hair. “These numbers we are presenting you with now are solid numbers that we have pulled from our current stats.” Impressed murmurs resound. “That’s right – these are our current turnovers, and they are only increasing. Now, if these are the results we are producing in our current predicament, just imagine how much better we could do with your partnership, expertise and resources.”

Heads are nodding and whispers are being exchanged. Yoona knows she must be talking them in the right direction. Her eyes flicker to the back of the room, where Sooyoung gives her a thumbs-up for encouragement, and the tension in her head seems to loosen a little.

As her pitch partner rounds off his section about possible marketing strategies, Yoona gears up for the finale to seal the deal. She takes a breath to ready herself. “We’ve talked a lot about strategies and numbers, like any good business pitch should,” She begins. “But what is truly important to convey here is that this is much more than just business for us. This is a passion project. This is what we do, and this is what we succeed at. Our team, our company is comprised of individuals who are always striving for better, to exceed expectations. And this will be of no exceptions if you decide to do us the great honour of accepting this partnership.”

* * *

The hug Sooyoung wrangles her into is so tight and executed with so much force, it nearly knocks Yoona to the ground.

“You ing killed it, Yoong!” Sooyoung just about squeals as the last occupants of the room trickle out. “They loved you.”

“Alright, alright.” Yoona waves her off with a small smile. “You’re gonna wrinkle my shirt if you don’t stop squeezing me to death.” Behind the nonchalance the truth is, it feels good. It feels good to finally do something right, to go through the correct motions and just get it right.

Sooyoung lets go of her, her eyes agleam with pride. “There’s no way this partnership deal is gonna fall through after that. You had them right in the palm of your hand.”

Yoona plays it off with a shrug, almost as if acknowledging her own talents would be the untasteful thing to do. “I’m just a good talker, that’s all.”

“That’s not all, Yoong.” She loops an arm around Yoona’s neck, turning them away from the doorway where their boss is liaising with the company’s potential partner. “You should be really proud of yourself. Not anyone could walk in here and do what you just did. Sealing a huge corporate deal like this? It’s ing huge. And you deserve it.” She lowers the volume of her voice, drawing Yoona closer. “And, not to jinx anything but,” she nods her head toward the door. “I may have heard some whispers about a possible promotion coming a certain person’s way. It’s pretty much confirmed after how well you just performed.” With a wink and a congratulatory slap to the back, Sooyoung’s arm falls away.

And Yoona wants to smile, wants to be happy, but something about the aspect of moving higher up in a job she hates, despite all the benefits and opportunities it could bring, has her stomach turning.

“Miss Im,” A deep voice calls.

She turns to find her boss crossing the room toward her. “Sir,” She greets, shaking his hand.

“That was quite the pitch you gave there. Very impressive.”

“Thank you, sir.” She gives a small respectful bow toward him in appreciation for the praise.

“Truth be told, I’ve had my supervisors keep an eye on you since your sales numbers have been so high since you started working here. And you have definitely not disappointed.” He gives her a smile, the kind of smile that says Yoona is helping to line his pockets and he wishes her to continue doing so. “You’ve probably heard that we’re looking to promote a member of the sales team?”

“Yes, sir, it’s been mentioned by some of the managerial staff.”

“Good.” He nods. “Come by my office tomorrow and maybe we can discuss that promotion in some further detail. But for now, job very well done.” He shakes her hand again before vacating, leaving Yoona and Sooyoung alone in the conference room.

“Told you so,” Sooyoung nudges her, clearly the more excited one out of the two of them. “That promotion is yours.”

“Yeah,” Yoona breathes. “I guess it is.”

“How ‘bout we celebrate tonight?” The way she says it is suddenly soft, as if she can sense the dampness in Yoona’s mood. “Maybe some dinner and drinks? I actually, uh,” Her face moulds itself into a more serious expression. “I actually have something that I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh,” Yoona raises a brow. “About what?”

“It’s a long story.” Sooyoung wets her lips. “I’ll explain it over dinner. If you’re coming that is? Or are you gonna be too busy pining over Jessica again?”

“Shut up.” She shoves Sooyoung’s arm and pauses to survey her face; the hopeful glint in her big round eyes. She heaves a begrudging sigh. “Fine. I’ll be there.”

The taller woman smiles. “Good. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

* * *

25th December 2015, 19:15pm

Christmas this year, as it had for the last 9 years, saw both Yoona and Sooyoung relishing in the astringent stench of alcohol. They imbibed far too much, guising it as letting loose, having fun, enjoying the holidays. But it was the numbness, Yoona knew, that they were both in pursuit of, even if neither of them said it outrightly.

“You want another one?” She tapped gently on Yoona’s empty glass.

Yoona considered it for a moment, drawing her eyes away from the old Christmas movie playing low on the television. “Yeah, not too much ice.”

“Right-o,” Sooyoung got up and shuffled off to the kitchen. And Yoona listened in silence to the clink and the clanks of glasses from the cupboards and ice from the freezer.

They always spent Christmases together. Because they had no other family. Sooyoung would show up at Yoona’s door on Christmas Eve, clutching a bag of various festive rums and wines, and they’d eat and they’d drink and talk and they’d laugh. They laughed a lot. But it always died down to a sad quietness. Because they were both yearning for their families that wanted nothing to do with them.

Sooyoung placed the glass back in her hand and reclaimed her seat on the sofa. “You ever seen this one?”

She refocused her eyes onto the TV. “Yeah. It’s my childhood favourite. We used to watch it every year.”

Sooyoung nodded. “Home Alone was always my family’s go-to.”

“Home Alone was my mum’s favourite.” Yoona snorted a little bit, taking a gulp from her glass, smacking her lips at the sharp aftertaste.

They transitioned into a quiet lull, watching Edward Scissorhands being driven away back to his abandoned mansion by a mob of angry housewives. The movie always made her impossibly sad as a child, and yet she watched it every year – like some sadistic ritual.

“Do you miss them?”

Yoona looked over at Sooyoung. Her eyes were glassy and distant, and Yoona knew they’d reached the depressing portion of the holiday. “Miss who?”

“Your family.” Sooyoung matched her gaze. Her skin was a little flushed and her voice was so quiet that Yoona could just about hear it over the noise from the TV.

They’d spoken about it once, and only once. Back when they were nineteen years old, having only known each other for a few months. They were drinking in Sooyoung’s cramped, one bed apartment after a long shift of waitressing at the restaurant. It was a warm evening, Yoona remembered, so they had the window cranked open and the salt of the ocean breeze was blowing in gently. They were sitting with their backs to the couch and their legs tucked under the coffee table when Sooyoung asked her, “So, what’s your story?”. And Yoona doesn’t know, even to this day, why that simple question had suddenly moved her to tears. After breaking out into a sob, Yoona could no longer pretend that she was fine, and fell apart as Sooyoung lent her a shoulder to cry on. And once she found out that Sooyoung’s family had shunned her something similar she proceeded to cry harder. She’d never cried so openly with another before.

And it was true, Yoona thought, pain bonds people together.

“Why are you asking?”

Sooyoung shrugged, looking back toward the television. “Just wondering if you still thought about them.”

“I don’t think about them.” She still thought about them. “And I don’t miss them.” She really missed them. But no amount of questioning or prodding or poking, even from her best friend, could make her admit it.

Sooyoung nodded slowly in consideration, and she probably knew that Yoona was lying right through her teeth, but she didn’t comment on it. “I think about my family all the time.” The admission came out quietly. “Especially my little sister. She was only 10 years old when my parents kicked me out. She’ll be all grown up by now, you know. I wonder what she looks like, or, you know, what her dreams are or her aspirations – just…what she’s like.”

Her neck and felt tight listening to the wistful longing evident in Sooyoung’s voice, because Yoona also wondered what her parents looked like now, too. She imagined their wrinkles cutting deeper and their eyes sinking further into their sockets. Age. Time. It was passing her by, like a train passing through a station at full speed. And there wasn’t anything she could really do about it.

“I almost feel like a traitor.” Sooyoung laughed wryly into the rim of her glass. “Like it’s wrong to miss them or think about them after the way they treated me.”

She reached over to squeeze Sooyoung’s hand gently. “Don’t be a moron, Soo. You’re no traitor. It’s human to miss your family, no matter how dirty they did you.”

And , did Sooyoung’s parents do her dirty. But somehow, Sooyoung still managed to love them enough to miss them. But that’s just Sooyoung all over; heart stitched to her sleeve; so much care and kindness harnessed inside of her with no one to give it to.

“I’m sorry I brought it up. I know you hate talking about family stuff.”

Yoona shook her head gently. “Don’t be sorry.” Because it wasn’t Sooyoung’s fault that she didn’t know how to express herself in a manner that wasn’t problematic in some sense.

Sooyoung got to her feet suddenly. “How ‘bout I go fix us some desert?” And with the way she forced the smile onto her pretty face, Yoona knew she was trying to lift the mood that that had dropped so terribly. “I got us chocolate trifle, apple pie and ice cream, and sticky toffee pudding. Pick your poison.”

“I say we just have all three and hope we don’t die from a sugar overdose.”

Sooyoung nodded in agreement. “Aye aye, captain.” She ruffled Yoona’s hair as she passed.

She was just about to get up to help in the kitchen, but a vibration from her pocket made her pause, and the name she saw flashing on the screen made her stop dead in her tracks entirely. “I’ll come help in a sec, Soo!” She called, staring at the screen still.

She took a breath and tried not to be too excited before she hit the answer button and moved away from the kitchen door. “Why, hello, Miss Jung. To what do I owe this holiday greeting?”

Jessica laughed airily. She could hear muffled voices and movement in the background. “Merry Christmas to you too, Yoona.”

“Merry Christmas, Jessica.” She found herself smiling.

“I was just, you know, calling some friends and I thought I should probably call that weird woman who lives next door to me.”

She laughed a little, her insides suddenly feeling less like lumps of lead laying lifelessly at the pit of her stomach. “Well, this weird woman is happy to receive the call.”

Jessica hummed. “Are you having a good time?”

She looked over toward the kitchen door to where she could hear Sooyoung clambering around. “As good a time as I can.”

“You sound sad.” The statement was said softly, entwined with an undertone of concern.

“I’m not sad.” Yoona shook her head as if Jessica could see her. “It’s just…uh…” She swallowed down in discomfort, wanting to know how to dance around her reasoning. “…Christmas isn’t exactly my favourite holiday.”

“Yoong!” Sooyoung appeared in the doorway, a ladle clutched in her fist. “Who the are you talking to and how the do you work your oven?”

Yoona moved the phone away from . “It’s a work thing, and I’ll be there in a second. Calm your .” Sooyoung rolled her eyes before disappearing again. She pressed her phone back to her ear. “Sorry about that. We’re having some technical difficulties with dessert.”

Jessica gave a disbelieving laugh. “Who did you just tell to calm their ?”

“Just Sooyoung.”

“Sooyoung…?” Jessica paused. “Aren’t you at home with your parents?”

Yoona could think of no other way to react than to laugh uneasily. She hadn’t quite got around to divulging the ties that had been cut with her mum and dad, and she didn’t quite plan on ever getting around to it either. “No…no…I’m at my house. It’s just me and Sooyoung.”

An unasked question hung in the cellular space between them. Yoona could almost hear Jessica’s confusion between the static and crackle of their outstretched connection. She cringed, awaiting the other woman’s questioning. “Oh, well…that must be nice.” It never came.

She took the opportunity to change the subject. “And what about you? Are you having a nice time?”

“Yeah. It’s been nice to spend time with everyone. Although,” Jessica lowered her voice to a whisper. “My Aunt Marie has had one too many sherries and it’s only a matter of time before she starts spilling all the family secrets.”

Yoona wanted to say that she had an aunt, a family member, like that too. But she couldn’t, because she didn’t. “That should be fun.”

“Oh, it will be.” She imagined Jessica’s gentle smile. “You get any nice presents?”

“Sooyoung got me a new jacket. My old one had holes in the pockets.”

“Anything else?”

“Uh…no?”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.” Yoona chuckled in puzzlement. “Why?”

“Because I think you may have very possibly missed one.”

“Missed one?” Yoona casted a glance around the living room. “What are you talking about?”

“Ah, so you haven’t found it yet.” She clicked her tongue in disappointment. “I should’ve known you were a detective.”

She faked a gasp. “I resent that.”

“Well, I suggest you prove me wrong then and find it.”

“Is it somewhere in the living room?”

“Maybe.”

“Ugh,” Yoona groaned. “You’re so annoying.”

Jessica cackled. “You wouldn’t have me any other way.” And Yoona couldn’t even refute such a statement.

Crouching low, playfully bickering with the woman on the other end of the phone still, she began to hunt for the elusive gift that Jessica had supposedly left for her. The sheer sentiment of Jessica even thinking to buy her a gift had her stupidly giddy.

“Where the did you leave this thing?” She scratched at her head after two minutes of fruitless scouring. “Did you put the cloak of invisibility over it or something?”

“Yoong,” Jessica’s voice was suddenly serious and Yoona could almost see the deadpan look on the woman’s face through the phone. “Where do people normally leave Christmas presents?”

“Uh…” Yoona frowned. “Under the tree?” She squatted down low and found a rectangular box wrapped in silver paper, sealed with a carefully tied ribbon tucked right at the back, wedged behind a leg of the tree stand.

“Bingo.”

“Couldn’t you have just told me where it was?” She grunted, stretching her arm awkwardly under the tree’s metallic branches and plastic foliage.

“And where would be the fun in that?” She heard Jessica shift, maybe moving to lay down. “Anyway, stop complaining and open it. I want to know what you think.”

Yoona straightened herself out and gazed down at the neatly wrapped gift. The paper was cut and sealed meticulously and Yoona thought she’d never seen such a perfectly tied bow in her life. She took in the weight of it in her hand, and her insides felt all funny; like nervousness and fear and apprehension were all bundled up in her gut under a cosy duvet. “Jess, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Oh, I know. But I just saw it randomly and thought of you.” She said it lightly, as if the gesture had been just a passing whim, and if that was really the case then why did Yoona feel so heavy. “Can you hurry up and open it? You’re going so slow I can literally feel myself aging over here.”

“Alright, calm down, I’m opening it.” She muttered, wedging the phone haphazardly between her cheek and shoulder. After some tugging and picking and grunting, the bow unfurled and fell to the floor. Tearing away the wrapping paper, she was met with a plain brown box. Frowning, she popped the lid open to find a card sitting delicately upon some white tissue paper. It read: ‘For the next time you have to fix my car. Merry Christmas – J.’ And beside it a wonky snowman with a hat and scarf had been drawn.

She laughed quietly, and pulled back the tissue paper to find… “A torque wrench?” She laughed again, louder this time. “Wow.”

“Why are you laughing?” Jessica’s tone was indignant.

“Because its random, yet oddly thoughtful.” She lifted the tool from its box to inspect it. She smiled. “This is a good one as well.”

“So, you like it?”

“Yeah,” Her answer came out softly, maybe even a little tenderly, and upon realising this she felt strange. “I do.”

“Good.” Jessica released a breath of what Yoona could only assume was relief. “I remembered when you were fixing my car you had to borrow Theo’s torque wrench, so I thought it’d be nice if I got you your own. Plus, I never got to properly repay you for the car, and I thought this would be a good way to.”

She set her gift down and sat on the touch. “I said you didn’t have to repay me but thank you. This is actually really nice. I wish you’d told me that you were getting me a present though, then I could’ve bought you something as well.”

And she did wish this, but wasn’t it all a little dangerous too. Jessica buying her a Christmas present, Jessica giving her a secret phone call while away with her boyfriend and family for the holidays, Jessica teasing her, laughing with her, stirring up feelings within her. But despite all that, they were friends, weren’t they? So maybe it wasn’t as strange or precarious as Yoona was making it out to be, right? Because normal friends called each other on Christmas, and bought each other gifts, right?

The rational, logical answer would be yes. Normal, ordinary friends conducted such acts. But they weren’t exactly normal, ordinary friends, were they? No, they weren’t. And thus, Yoona couldn’t quite quell the feeling that they were, or more Jessica was in this case, toeing the line; edging toward something that was not in the realm of their arrangement. Because Jessica had made it clear – Theo was her boyfriend and Yoona was her secret; a distinction that was rather apparent.

“It’s fine, Yoong. You don’t have to get me anything. You can repay me by putting the wrench to good use and becoming a famous mechanic.”

“I didn’t know mechanics could be famous.”

“Well, I think you could.” Jessica quipped and it should’ve been jest, but there was a seriousness, an honesty in the way she said it. “You’re good at what you do. I’ve never seen overalls and oil stains suit someone so well.”

“Thanks.” Her smile and her laugh felt half-hearted.

“I mean it. I think you should do something with cars or you know…whatever.”

Yoona thought so too, but admitting it – any truth of any kind – just seemed to repel her entirely, as if she was allergic to even the mere stench of honesty. So, she answered non-committedly. “Yeah, we’ll see.”

“Alright-“ Jessica began, but was stopped by another, deeper voice. Yoona recognised it as Theo’s, asking who was on the phone. “It’s just Nicole, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.” And what a seamless sounding lie it was. She heard a murmur of acknowledgement before the voice faded away behind the click of the door. “I guess I better go, Yoong.” Jessica sighed. “Use your wrench and enjoy the rest of the holidays. I’ll text you when I’m back. Merry Christmas.”

“Okay, Merry Christmas.” The call ended and Yoona found herself listening to the dull ring of the dead receiver.

* * *

6th November 2016, 19:12pm (Present)

“Here?” Yoona looks up at the backlit sign above the restaurant door. It spells out ‘Banditos Burritos’ in a chunky font and has both a sombrero and a cactus drawn in a cartoonish fashion flanking either side of the lettering.

“Here.” Sooyoung grins, leading them inside.

The waiter, donned in a brightly coloured and awfully stereotypical poncho and moustache, seats them in a booth on the far side of the establishment and takes their drink orders with a little too much zeal.

“He’s very enthusiastic.” Sooyoung comments, watching the waiter retreat behind the counter.

“A little too enthusiastic.” She runs her hand through her hair and looks to her friend sitting opposite her. “So, what’s this about then? What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Straight down to business, eh?” Sooyoung raises a brow. “Can’t we at least ease into it? Enjoy the knock-off Mexican experience like normal friends do?”

“Stop stalling. You’re making me anxious.” Yoona pushes. “Just tell me.”

“Alright, alright.” Sooyoung holds her hands up limply in surrender. “There’s actually a couple of things that I wanted to discuss with you.”

“What things?”

“Well, first of, Jessica. Second, how are you doing. Thirdly, I may have a business proposition for you.”

The first two, Yoona had been expecting, but the last one, a business proposition, now that one has her confused. “What are you talking about, a business proposition?”

“We’ll get to that but,” Sooyoung pauses as the waiter approaches the table and sets down their drinks. “Thanks. Can we order now as well?” They ask for two burritos and a nachos to share. The waiter leaves with a perfunctory smile. “As I was saying, we’ll get to the business proposition, but let’s cross my first two discussion points off the agenda, shall we?”

Yoona rolls her eyes. “I already told you what happened with Jessica.”

“Hardly. You gave a vague summary over text. I don’t need a vague summary. I need details. What actually happened.”

“What actually happened doesn’t matter because she’s gonna marry him and that’s that.” She gives a shrug and leans back in her seat, folding her arms tight against her chest.

“Yeah, but what did she say? What was her reasoning? How did you try and convince her?” Sooyoung presses, and Yoona knows that her friend just wants to understand, wants to help, but going over it again, running it through her mind is making her impossibly sad. Because she feels as though she’s failed. She had finally found one good thing, something worth changing for, something worth sticking around for, and now that thing, that person, is going to be wed to another and Yoona doesn’t even really know who to blame anymore.

She untucks her arms and laces her fingers together atop the table, wondering where to start. “She said she doesn’t trust me.”

“In what sense?”

“In the sense that she can’t trust me to change. Her argument was that I can’t hold down a job, I can’t commit to anything, so how can she possibly believe that I’ll be there for her in the long run.” She lets out a heavy breath, feeling tight. “She said that she can’t up and leave or tear her life apart for me when I can’t even remotely get my together. And that was basically it.”

“I see,” Sooyoung gives a slow nod, taking in Yoona’s words carefully. “Can I be an and say something that you probably don’t want to hear?”

Even if she said no, Yoona knows she’d have to hear it anyway. “Go on.” She sighs.

“I think Jessica has a point. A really good point, actually.” She presses her lips together in a manner of apology or pity – Yoona can’t tell which.

“I know.” She admits after a moment. “Jessica…she’s too smart, too careful to ever take a chance on someone like me.”

“Well, she kind of already has taken a chance on you though, hasn’t she? She’s been fooling around with you behind everyone’s back for over a year now – putting everything at risk. If that’s not chancing it then I don’t know what is.” Sooyoung rubs at her chin and hums in thought. “At any point, has she ever denied that she has feelings for you?”

Yoona pauses to cast her mind back, back, back to the very beginning, combing through every intimate conversation, every intimate moment and sees that Jessica had never before behaved in a manner that would suggest that she has absolutely no feelings for Yoona – not until now anyway. “No, but,” She shakes her head. “She said it herself, she loves Theo.”

“Did she say that explicitly?”

“Well, no.”

“Then what did she say?”

“I told her not to marry someone who she doesn’t even love and she said, and I quote, ‘I never said I didn’t love him’.” She turns her palms out, having metaphorically laid out all the details onto the table.

“Ah, but she never said she does love him.”

“I don’t think it makes a difference, Soo.”

“It makes all the difference.” The look Sooyoung gives her is confident and sure.

Before Yoona can ask for an elaboration, their waiter with the faux facial hair appears with their food. “Enjoy ladies.” He smiles once more and disappears just the same.

“ me, I’m starving.” Sooyoung moans, tucking into her food with her usual enthusiasm.

“Soo, can we not get side-tracked by the burritos?” She clicks her fingers in her friend’s face to bring her back down from whatever food-induced heaven she’d floated up to.

“Sorry. Burritos do that to me.” She wipes her fingers on a nearby napkin. “But as I was saying, Jessica, like nearly all humans, is a very complicated gal.”

“You don’t even know her.”

“I don’t need to know her. Based off what you’ve told me, she sounds like she’s not sure of what she actually wants.” She accentuates the point by chomping down on a cheese-covered nacho chip. “She wants her perfect fiancé and her equally perfect family, but part of her also seems like it wants you. That’s why she isn’t confirming her feelings outrightly. She’s not saying she has feelings for you, but she’s also not denying it either. She’s saying that she’s never said she doesn’t love Theo, but she’s never actually said that she does.”

Yoona’s mind begins swimming. “How the do you know that?”

“Observation.” Sooyoung shrugs. “I could be wrong, but I think what I’m saying does make sense.”

It makes a whole lot of sense. Yoona stares down at her food momentarily, considering that maybe she should’ve come to Sooyoung much sooner, and considers that maybe Jessica is just as confused and cowardly as she is. “So, what do I do?”

Sooyoung makes a thoughtful noise around a mouthful of chicken, beans and guacamole. “Depends.” She swallows. “How much do you care about her?”

“A lot.” It comes out quietly and she averts her eyes from the embarrassment.

“Enough that you’d be willing to actually take the steps to start getting your together?” There’s a glint in Sooyoung’s eyes that Yoona has seen on many occasions throughout their f