Backhug.

N chose a request from a fan that wants him to backhug each of the members while telling them the things that he wants to say. He pretends that he doesn't really want to do it and that he's just doing it because the fan ask him to but knowing N, they know he wouldn't miss any chance to give affection to them. 

While the rest of the members immediately act like they doesn't want to be hugged by N, Leo gives in easily. He doesn't put out any fight, he just lets N hug him comfortably.

Why? Because if before, acting all tsundere means getting more attention from N but now, acting tsundere will push N further away from him and he learnt that the hard way. So now, if he likes it he'll show that he likes it and not act like he doesn't. 

N's hug is warm and comforting, as always and Leo is happily indulging in it when N's lips suddenly touch his ear as the leader whispers something. 

"Thank you for everything, Taekwoon-ah. Thank you for being my friend and putting up with me and my annoyance. "N says in a soft voice and Leo mouths drop slightly at how sad the leader sounded. He wanted to ask why, why N sounded like that but it feels like there's lead in his mouth that prevents him from talking. 

"Even when I'm gone, I hope you can stay being yourself. I hope you can continue to open up to the world. You have to remember, not everyone have ill intention, not everyone means you harm. You can learn to trust others like you trusted me. "

Leo flinches as he pulls away from N's hug, wanting to face the leader and demands why he's saying things like that in the middle of their concert but as soon as he faces N, the leader smiles and pats his head before walking away, not giving him the chance to ask anything. 

As N moves to hug Ken, he can't help but to chuckle at the younger's attempt to act tsundere. Among all s, Ken is the one who never refuse his affection so seeing him acting like he doesn't like to be hugged makes N feels amused and he just hugs him tighter. 

"Thank you for always cheering me up, Jaehwanie. Thank you for always staying by my side when everyone else left. Thank you for giving me the will to move on. "He whispers and immediately, Ken frowns. He's clueless as to why his leader would say something like that all of a sudden. 

"I hope you won't let the world's negativity get to you. I hope you can continue being this wonderful Jaehwan that I've always known and I hope... even if I'm gone, you'll still continue to be everyone's source of happines. "N continues before swiftly letting go of the hug but Ken manages to grab hold of his arm to stare at his face. 

'Why? 'He wants to ask but N smiles brightly and snatch his arm away to move on to the next member. 

As N comes to hug him, Hongbin is quick to put on a displeased and pained face. It's not that he hates the leader's hug, he loves it but he also likes seeing the leader's reaction when they teases him like this. 

His contorted face however doesn't deter N even one bit as the leader wrap his arms aorund him and hugs him tightly. He wanted to pretend to struggle against him but when N places his lips closer to his ear, he froze. 

"Hongbinnie, thank you for always following me in whatever decision I made. Thank you for always supporting my decision and backing me up. Thank you for staying with me for all these years. "

Hearing that, Hongbin becomes stiff. He wonders why N is saying this here, on stage, in front of everyone eventhough they can't hear him. 

"I really hope that you  can continue to find your confidence in no matter what you do. You have to remember that even if I'm no longer with you, you'll have your 4 brothers by your side, supporting you in whatever you do and having your back. Have faith in yourself, okay? "N mutters quietly and Hongbin continue to stay frozen even after N has walk off. 

When the awaited hug finally comes, Hyuk knows he have to pretend like he hates it for the sake of his pride when he actually loves it so much he wants to jump. He puts on a poker face as N encircles his arms around his broad shoulder and he have to fight the will to just lean into the hug since he have an ego that needs to be fed. 

He hears N chuckle so close to his ears, probably because he's amused by his lousy attempt but he certainly doesn't expect N to start whispering so softly. 

"Hyukie-ah, thank you for always helping to ease my burden. Thank you for always defending and protecting me. Thank you for being here. "

Hyuk remains quiet and stoic because he thinks that the things N said are only part of the stage but the leader's next words changes his mind. This time, he realise those words come from the depth of his leader's heart. 

"Even when I'm gone, I really hope you can continue being this strong, unbreakable maknae as you are . I hope you can always find the strength to protect and defend your hyungs like you did for me all these time. I know I can depend on you. "

Something shifts inside Hyuk and he drops his facade, letting his emotion show on his face. Shock. Fear. Sadness. 

Ravi was planning to make the moment that N hug him to be a fun moment for their fans who are watching and he was really going to do it as he planned but as N comes to hug him, all those funny plans just vanishes from his mind and the only thing he could register is how tight N's hug is and how desperate it feels. 

"Wonshik-ah, thank you for always listening to my worries. Thank you for always understanding me and encouraging me. Thank you for always being there for me whenever I need you. "N whispers and Ravi remains silent as he only blinks, confused. 

N sounds too emotional, too sad that it makes his heart drop. What happened? He wonders. 

"I hope, even when I'm no longer here with you, you will still be the Wonshik that love his brothers more than anything. I hope you can continue doing what you love no matter how bad people judge you. I hope you'll stay like this, humble and caring and full of love. "

Even after N has whispered all that, he doesn't let go of his hug and Ravi doesn't try to pull away either. He's still blank, still in shock thanks to his leader sudden words. 

They all wonder why N suddenly said all the things that he said to them, on the stage and in front of all their fans to be precise. They wonder why did he sounded so sad, so distant?  Why does it felt like he's trying to say his farewell? Why does it felt like he's going to leave them? 

They asked him about it. Yes, they did. 

And his answer? 

"Guys, nothing lasts forever. Things will end and people will leave. It's never too early to say your farewell. "

A/N the idea for this chapter is given by vixxcha... I don't really take request anymore since I'm afraid I can't fulfill it but her idea is just too good that I can't say no.. so yeah, thank you vixxcha... this is also based on the moments in 171202 Singapore concert