It had become a rainy day. It emphasized how bad day it had been for Hyesung; how bad of a day it had become for him actually. It had started like always; waking up, brushing teeth, washing up, eating breakfast and leaving outside to do whatever his schedule demanded. The same old. It had felt like any other day, until Eric had said, “I’m moving out.”

“Moving out? But…” Hyesung couldn’t say what he had wanted to say.

“Yeah, I am going to move out so me and Hyemi can move in together,” the leader smiled widely.

Hyesung was happy for Eric, he was just at showing it to him. He chuckled in a way that could have proved how sad he felt. It was idiotic really; to be sad about something like this. Hyesung felt stupid by just thinking about it, repeating it in his head. He was upset that the member he claimed to like the least in Shinhwa was moving out.

No more late night chatting.

No more late night drinking.

No more watching movies and dramas together.

No more random visits.

“I’m happy for you,” Hyesung smiled to the older man, bursting inside.

He was not in love with Eric; he would have never been in love with him; it was just…a thing they had done for fun for fan service. Who would have known that it would become such a big deal for Hyesung? Maybe it suddenly meant so much more to him because Eric didn’t seem to feel anything. To him it had been just a joke. But could you blame him really? Hyesung found himself chuckling at that thought.

“Are you really happy?” Eric’s question surprised the younger man.

“Of course,” Hyesung laughed.

Eric was relieved by their main vocalist’s answer. He couldn’t stop smiling and that made Hyesung feel even stupider. Here he was, drowning in his own self-pity while Eric was overflowing with happiness. He was in love and it was about time he and her took the next step. Hyesung smiled back at the man for the umpteenth time, hurting his cheeks, and placed his hand onto his shoulder.

“It never meant anything,” Hyesung said. “…me and you living close like this, I mean.”

Eric remained silent.

“I hope you get a nice place together.” Hyesung chuckled again, holding back his tears to the fact that Eric had agreed with him. “Good luck.”

Hyesung walked away from Eric too fast for his liking, but his body wanted away from the shame as fast as it could get. The main vocalist could feel the eyes boring to his back, but he didn’t look behind. He didn’t want to. He was heartbroken for unknown reason.

The last box was carried out of the apartment and Eric had officially moved out. Hyesung had been too emotional to join the others for the housewarming party, so he remained behind. Some sort of a trance had brought him back to the apartment above his. Hyesung’s heart was beating faster as he dialed the old door code and the door opened in front of him.

The empty apartment appeared to his view and without a warning, Hyesung burst into ugly tears. Eric was gone. The sent that had once filled the room was gone. The delicious smell of food was gone. And the warming, welcoming, feeling was gone. Hyesung’s tears flowed down his petite face, as he curled down to the floor and covered his face with the palms. His ugly sobbing filled the empty apartment and echoed jeeringly, entering his ears.

This wasn’t what Hyesung had wanted.

It had been an absurd dream…

…that Eric would never leave.