“Beef! Where's the beef for table three?” Carefully setting the roasted tomatoes and baby onion on the plate for table six, YoonA yells without even looking. The dining is at its busiest hours, orders come flying and YoonA is responsible to keep the flow going.

“Beef!” YoonA turns on her heels, glaring at the empty meat station. “Amber! Where's Amber? I need my medium rare sirloin now!”

Kyungsoo freezes under YoonA's glare, mumbling something as he walks away with a stack of dirty pans in hands. Two other kitchen staffs looks down, pretending to be busy helping in Heechul's station. Henry is the only one who hold up his gaze at her so YoonA raises her eyebrows at the young chef.

"Henry? Where's Amber?"

“Um... chef, Amber's taking a day off. Jackjack, her dog...”

Henry doesn't have to continue because now YoonA remembers the reason why the rotisseur is not on the designated station. YoonA pinches the bridge of her nose. “Who's in charge of meat? Please, prepare two-”

“YoonA.” Heechul touches YoonA's hand as he puts a pan of mushroom sauce on the preparation counter. “You said you'll take over for Amber today.”

“I did?” Sighing, YoonA wipes her brows. She finds it hard to concentrate these days. Her focus trampled under the weigh of decisions, the choice between taking Kai back or find the little boy another family.

“Chef...” A waitress comes with a nearly-untouched dish on a plate. “A customer complained that the meat is not rare enough. Pesky Betty.”

“Not rare enough?” YoonA takes a knife and slice the steak on the plate, revealing a pink meat. “It can't be anymore rare than this! Go serve her a live cow!”

YoonA can't help rising her voice. She's angry and confused. The Kangs is leaving soon. She has to make the decision fast.

She missed the first seven years of Kai's life. The most important years. How can she be a good mother for him? And her job? How will she take care of Kai and give him enough attention while working this demanding job?

“Do you need some time out, Yoongie?” Changwook comes to YoonA's side too, looking at her worriedly.

“No.” She shakes her head. It's easy to tell that since the day at the orphanage, she has been avoiding Changwook. Afraid that he will want to be in the know of what actually went on that day. “It's Pesky Betty, a regular who can be... well... pesky.”

Tightening the strap of her apron, YoonA sighs then turns to face Heechul. “We'll just replace the steak. Oppa, can you help with the preparation?”

Heechul nods. “You concentrate on the meat, I'll handle the prep for salads and other side dishes. Jimin and Jungkook will do sauce under my watch. Our head chef can deal with the rest, right?”

From the corner of her eyes, YoonA can see Changwook nods. YoonA can also see the curiosity in his eyes. Moving to meat station, she decides to deal with it later.

She tries her hardest to focus for the rest of the night. Her mind drifts to her son every now and then. In the past, whenever she missed Kai, whenever she wondered what would have happened if she didn't give the boy up, she would think of how Kai seems so happy around Mr. Kang. She had made the right decision, she always thought so up to the day when Mr. Kang said he can't take care of Kai anymore.

Now, she can't even sure which will make Kai stay happy. A new family? Or her, his birth-mother?

“Last costumer!” Changwook slides a plate of cedar planked salmon on the counter. “Thank you for your hardwork, guys.”

YoonA sighs, wiping her hands with the apron before taking it off. She asks Kyungsoo to clean her station then quietly slips out of the kitchen. At the back of the restaurant, on the corner near the broken chiller, she slides to the ground, covering her face with both hands, sobbing.

How can she decide what's best for her beloved son? Both two options available are so uncertain.

“Here.” Heechul comes to her side, opening the cap of a bottled water then offers it to YoonA as he also kneels beside her.

With watery eyes, YoonA looks up at him. The man who, with Chef Baek, was there when she crumbled eight years ago. The man who knows the story all along. Her fortress crumbles then and there under Heechul's soft gaze.

She doesn't take the bottle. Falling into his arms instead, crying her heart out.

Much like eight years ago, Heechul says nothing, just gently rest his hand on YoonA's head, being there for her.

The back door opens as YoonA's tears begin to subside. Changwook comes out with a bottle of water in his hand. The man freezes on his spot for a moment when he sees YoonA and Heechul in the corner.

YoonA looks up, wiping her tears.

Heechul says no word. Hands still linger loosely around YoonA.

A wan smile flashes accross Changwook's face before he turns to get back inside, leaving the bottle on top of the broken chiller.

“It's your son, isn't it?” Heechul says after a while. “You don't cry like that for anyone else.”

“The Kangs is leaving him.”

He sighs, keeping quite for a few second before resting his hand on her shoulder. " Take him, Yoong.”

“I can't. I'm not safe. What if I hurt him?"

"You won't. You are his mother."

"I gave up once. Who can guarantee that I won't give up again next time a harship come?”

“Hey, look at me.” YoonA's eyes meet Heechul's soft gaze. The man can be comical and weird from time to time but he looks serious this time, wiping her tears gently with his thumbs. “You are not the YoonA from eight-years ago.”

“What if he's not happy with me?”

“Kids never really happy with their parents, Yoong.” Heechul grins down on her. “There's always things to complaint. I'm this old but I still sulk at my mother whenever she gives me kimchi fried rice that has too little kimchi in it.”

YoonA snorts at his remarks.

“As his mother, your job is to love him. And I know that you are extremely capable of loving him. We know that it's not the lack of love that made you gave him up.”

She is about to voice her doubt once more but Heechul presses the bottle to her lips, effectively stopping her.

“Drink. Chin up. Be a stronger person.” He stands up, still smiling. “For your son.”

Her apartment is clearly too small to have another person in it. YoonA has to be creative. She turns her bedroom into Kai's room. Avengers-themed sheet, small table for studying on the corner, a mini closet for Kai's clothes and two little shelves for him to display his toys. All her belongings are now stuffed into one cabinet by the fridge and she has bought a fold-able mattress for herself. One day, they will move to a bigger apartment. One day when she has earned enough. At the moment, her focus is on Kai's education and Kai's health which clearly do not come cheap.

Every spare time she got, she used to get to know the boy better. She asks Mr. Kang about the boy a lot, taking notes of Kai's important habits and special necessity. But of course that's not enough. Nothing will be enough. Deep inside, she knows it will be hard, not for her but for Kai and she's so worried for the little boy.

Everything has been planned down to every detail, financially, physically. But mentally, nothing can prepare YoonA for tomorrow. The day when Kai comes to live with her.

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