'It's already 7 pm, Jungkook oppa will be back home from work at any moment from now.'

Seo Nari glanced at the antique clock which was hanging proudly at the wall. Jungkook bought it on their one-week romantic getaway in Rome, the capital of Italy. The round antique clock was mainly made of metal. It was delicately embroidered with elegant twists of metals. While the hour hand and the minute hand were made of rose gold metal, the clock face was painted in black.

While waiting for Jungkook to reach home, Nari unfold her freshly washed apron and gets ready to cook dinner for herself and of course her husband, Jeon Jungkook. She effortlessly tied her hair into a messy bun so that her long hair won't get in the way of her cooking.

She quickly decided on what dishes that she will be doing tonight. It will be a simple serving of rice, spicy fish soup and green onion pancakes as side dish. Jungkook was never picky about what she made for him. It was very easy to feed her man.

"I'm back! Jagiya, where are you? Where is my beautiful queen? I don't see her." Jungkook's silvery voice could be heard throughout their apartment. The first thing that he looked for when he arrived home was his wife. His fatigue vanished at the speed of lightning as soon as he saw the lovely back of the love of his life.

"Welcome home, yeobo! I've been waiting for you." Nari said it shyly. She didn't bother hiding the fact that she was actually waiting for Jungkook to come home. For her, it was better to express it than to bottle it inside.

"I've also bought your favourite red bean paste bread. Let's eat it together later." Jungkook whispered as his muscular hands crept around Nari's waist. His backhug felt so warm, for a moment Nari felt like it was the safest place for her in the whole universe. He stayed in that position for a few moments before he rested his chin on Nari's shoulder. Since Nari was a few inches shorter than him, it was comfortable for him to do so.

"What are you cooking for dinner?" Jungkook asked as he tighten his hug from behind. His face was very close as Nari could feel his breath mixed in with hers, she could also smell his perfume. It was a very pleasant smell, very pleasant that Nari feel the need to breathe in his scent for every seconds.

"I'm going to make spicy fish soup and green onion pancakes. Do you like it?" Nari asked him so that she could cook with self-assurance. It surprised Nari when Jungkook suddenly let go of her without answering her question. He went to her side and rolled up his black shirt sleeves, revealing his fine veins. "Let me help you." He grinned before he reached for the knife in Nari's hand.

"You shouldn't do this alone when I'm here with you. What would I do with myself if you ever hurt yourself?" Jungkook seemed to be very worried. He really knew how to handle the knife with skills as he cleaned out the red snapper's guts, removed its scales and fins, finally he cut the fish meat into medium sized chunks. He worked super fast and efficiently.

Dinner was finally served on their table. Even after three years of their marriage, Jungkook never once changed. He still pulls out the chair for Nari to sit every now and then before he could sit down himself. For him, every simple gestures were essential to keep their love alive.

As the head of the family, Jungkook started to eat first. Then, like how he usually took care of Nari, he placed a big chunk of fish meat on top of her rice bowl. They exchanged smiles as they continued enjoying their meal.

"Jagiya, say 'ahh'~" Jungkook picked up a slice of the green onion pancake using his chopsticks with the intention of feeding Nari. But as soon as Nari opened widely, ready to take in what her husband was holding right in front of her, he placed the food right into his own mouth. 

"You seems to be having a lot of fun as I can see there, my dear." Nari pouted as she saw how happy Jungkook chewed the slice of pancake. He picked up another slice and this time he really wanted to feed Nari. She didn't even glanced at him this time, afraid that he might for the second time in a row.

Watching how Nari did not budge at all, he started to feel guilty. "I'm sorry about earlier. Please take this as my token of apology." Nari simply replied with a 'no'. "You can have it for yourself. I can feed my self, thank you."

"Do you know how good it is for you to eat this? Especially when you have our baby with you right now." Jungkook's words caught Nari's attention. "You made us a delicious green onion based food today. It is not only delicious, it is also one of the healthiest food option for you during pregnancy. Green onion had numerous vitamins, minerals and even micronutrients. Which is very good for you."

Jungkook did some research on what food that a pregnant woman should and should not take. How he simply cared for Nari touched her heart. After she heard Jungkook's explanation about the green onion, she slowly opened and let Jungkook fed her the pancake with his chopsticks.

"Good girl! Baby girl, your mommy is eating a lot of right now so you could grow into a beautiful girl when you grow up. You should also share your food with mommy so none of you will get hungry later, okay?" He talked to their unborn child as he stared directly at Nari's small baby bump.

"And don't forget to tell mommy if there is anything that you wanted to eat. Daddy will get it right away for you." This had also concerned Jungkook because so far, Nari hadn't had any food craving. It was abnormal for him because almost all of his workmates said that their wives craved for something atleast once a week during pregnancy.

Jungkook could feel that his love was really flooding for his wife. Gently, he Nari's right cheek before he pecked the same spot quickly with his soft lips. His action turned Nari's cheek into a natural pink blush. They are not a couple that we could call as 'newlywed' since they have been married for three years, but they do act like one.

"The baby is watching us..." Nari said as she rubbed her stomach gently, she couldn't finish her sentence when Jungkook stopped her with another peck on the same spot again.

"Just let her watch us. So that she will be born into the world later knowing how her parents truly loved each other." Jungkook also rubbed Nari's stomach after that. The prove of his love lies inside that stomach. He couldn't be any more proud than to be called a father soon. It was exciting and thrilling at the same time just to imagine how a small version of him running around the house later, laughing cheerfully as if the world had never witnessed wars before and sleeping peacefully knowing the sky would never fall down.

It was Jungkook's turn to wash the dishes tonight. He did it really fast so he could have a bath together with Nari. Why does he need to take bath together? First and foremost, he was worried about her safety. The bathroom floor could get very slippery at times. He don't want to regret it later if something ever happened to his wife and their baby. Secondly, it was simply because he loved it when someone wash his back for him.

Of course it won't be one sided. They would take turn to wash each other's back. It was nice when they could talk to each at the same time. It was very honorable for Nari to have the chance to wash Jungkook's broad back. She doesn't know about others, but for her, Jungkook's back was pure y. Like it was made in Heaven especially for her. Sometimes, she would trace his back with the tip of her finger just to see how him shivers. He may look tough, but he does get ticklish easily. 

They would also shampoo each other's hair. Since Nari's hair was very long, there would be a lot of foams formed. Jungkook would made sure that he massaged Nari's scalp thoroughly before he could play with the foams on her head. He knew it was a bit immature of him to act like that, but when else should he unleash his inner child. In addition, Nari also played along with him. There was a saying, 'Be with someone who makes you laugh when you don't even want to smile'. There was truth all over that quote.

The white noise which came from the hair dryer almost put Nari to sleep. It was very relaxing, especially when someone was drying her hair for her. While she was wrapped in her white bathrobe which was made of Turkish cotton, Jungkook blow dried her hair. They were apparently wearing a matching bathrobe.

They only used the hair dryer for once in a blue moon. It could damage their hair if it was used too often. Jungkook prefered to dry Nari's hair by patting them with soft towel. Nari wiggled her head as soon as Jungkook was done. Now it was her turn to dry Jungkook's dark auburn brown hair. "Yeobo, you can sit down now. Let me dry your hair." She said it in her softest voice.

Nari stood in front of Jungkook as he sat on the edge of their bed. He stared straight into her eyes, as she started to pat his wet hair with a towel. "Don't stare at me like that, it makes me nervous. We also need to do this quickly because your favourite show is about to start soon." Nari spoke without looking at him. She was too focused on drying his hair. Jungkook chuckled when he heard what his wife was saying. He kept on staring at her, how her eyes shone as she was very concentrating on her work right now. Slowly, he pulled her into a warm hug with his hand that he used to lean back on the bed just now.

"I can feel her moving.. baby, don't move too much in there. You need to rest too~" He closed his eyes as he leaned the right part of his face against Nari's stomach. He tried to feel the baby movement. By closing his eyes, he believed that he could communicate better with the delicate life inside there.

"I think we are done here, let's get changed." Jungkook held Nari's hand as he lead her to their closet. He is quite picky about what she wore at night. One of his reasons is, the nights are cold. She might get flu easily in her condition and the cold might hurt the baby inside. Nari felt very grateful that she was used to wearing socks ever since she was little. Jungkook would nag her if she doesn't wear any, he would repeat about how the feet are very sensitive to cold and so on. Sometimes, she even thought that Jungkook will tell her to wear more than a pair of socks at once. 'Thank God it never happened.'

The show started finally. All of the red bean paste bread that Jungkook bought earlier were finished in no time. They cuddled with each other on the sofa after waiting for about five minutes for the show to start after finishing the bread. It was an action thriller series. The show played like usual, nothing too special. Unexpectedly, a gore scene appeared on their screen. A scene of a murderer brutally axing his victim. Jungkook spontaneously covered Nari's eyes with his hand before he used his other hand to change the tv channel.

"Why did you changed it? Now you're gonna miss the crucial part." Nari knew that he changed it because he was worried about her health. Guilt was all over her. She bit her lower lips as she fiddled with her own fingers.

Laughter came from the person right next to her. "It's okay, I can download the episode and watch it again on my own. Don't worry, now let's watch this instead. Maybe our baby will grow up to be a professional pastry chef if she watch this with us." Jungkook reached for Nari's left hand to comfort her. 

He noticed how Nari fiddled with her fingers. And he knew exactly how to stop it.

Time went by very fast. The two of them felt very sleepy without realizing that is was already 1 am in the morning. Jungkook turned the television off and followed Nari to their bedroom. He tucked her neatly in bed before he lied down next to her. They faced each other as they exchanged their goodnight wish and kiss. And not to forget, Jungkook would wish their unborn baby 'goodnight' too before he Nari's little baby bump.

Nari also followed his action. She her own stomach, praying that her baby inside would come out looking 100% exactly like her father, Jeon Jungkook.

The gushing rain from outside startled her. All of a sudden, there was no more bump on her stomach. Only her flat stomach, and that was all. There was also no one laying right in front of her. She couldn't find Jungkook anywhere near her sight. She felt the empty side of bed with her hands. It was cold.

Nari shifted her body to the other side. There was a photo of Jungkook kissing her forehead on their wedding day. She was smiling brightly that day, wearing her A-line white dress which was glimmering with crystals and beads. Nari took the photo in her arms. Hugging the frame tighty close to her heart like she would never let go of it. 

She stared at the photo once again. This time, she was paying attention to all of the details on the man in the photo. He was wearing a white tuxedo to match her. His hair was pushed up that day. Nari still remember that day. How they exchanged their vows, how everyone congratulated them, how everyone wished them for a happy ever after. Well, now she realized that there was never a 'happy ever after' in the first place.

She traced Jungkook's face in the photo with her pointy finger. She bit her inner cheeks to prevent her tears from falling.

"Do you know how I still waited for you to come back home at every 7 pm? I insisted on waiting for you when you didn't came at 7 pm, hoping you will come soon. But 7 pm turns to 8 pm, 8 pm turns to 9 pm, 9 pm turns to 10 pm and so on as I kept on waiting for you. In the end, you never showed up.."

"Do you know how terrible I am at cooking now? I often cut my own fingers with the knife without knowing it. I only realized it when there was blood. Remember how you told me to not get hurt, especially because of the knife? Let me tell you.. It didn't hurt at all. No matter how sharp the knife is, I didn't feel any pain at all. I couldn't feel any pain at all.."

"Do you know how great does eating rice with plain water tastes like? My appetite is gone, as every meal with dishes reminded me of you. It was too lonely for me to eat alone. No one feeding me, no one placing meat on top of my bowl of rice. No one to talk to at dinner. You spoiled me too much, until I couldno longer do the normal things on my own. Until I feel like I need you every seconds with me.."

"Do you know how many times have I slipped on my own in the bathroom? The water is always too cold too, no matter how many times I changed the water heater to a new one. Tell me, is there any snow at your place now? I could've sworn I saw snow in the bathroom earlier. Turns out, it was the foam from my own hair that I shampooed earlier. It's funny, don't you think so.."

"Do you know how short my hair is right now? It's frizzy and damaged. I used our old hair dryer almost everyday to dry my hair. I have tried severals time, dry tapping my hair with towel. In the end, I hoped for someone else's hands to join my hands on my head. I always hoped for your hand to appear out of nowhere, but they never did. They said, when you cut your hair short, it means that you're letting go of something dear to you. But I never felt that way. I cut it in hope that you will come back to me, and scold me for cutting my long hair.."

"Do you know how it feels like to watch the television alone? Wrapped in blanket instead of your arm? It never feels right. How could the blanket match the level of your warmth. On top of that, it's even more heart wrenching to wake up in the morning on the sofa alone, with the television all night.."

"Do you know how much I missed our routine together?"

Nari pried for something from behind the frame. It was an old letter. In a few days, the letter will turn into one year old. She always read it again and again. It was something that she never gets tired at.

Dear Seo Nari, my beloved wife,

And I’m still here just like I used to be. Like we always were in old days, with you with me. All my fears have gone whenever you whisper to me. No matter how near or far apart we are, when you feel so lonely, I'll always be here for you. Have you completely erased me yet? I’ll be here to shelter you from your memories of yours.. When you feel so lonely, I’ll be here for you. Holding your hands again and again. If I could fly above the clouds like all the birds, I wish I could hold you for a while to let you feel my pulse. You are my whole life and all my heart. I promise you, I’m here at home. With you always. Happy birthday!

Your husband, now and forever,

Jeon Jungkook

 

Nari still had it in her memory clearly how Jungkook handed her the letter three days before her birthday. She remembered it how he made her pinky promised him to not open the letter until her real birthday come.

When her birthday came, he even took a day off from his work. He was also acting very weird, not like his usual self. 'Maybe he is tired from all the surprises that he prepared..' Nari tried to calm her heart down, eventhough deep down inside heart she was already worried that something might happen.

That night, Jungkook took Nari to her favourite seafood restaurant. Everything was going as he planned. When they walk out of the restaurant, he suddenly pulled her into a hug. That is not an absurd thing for Jungkook to do, so Nari just let him be and hugged him back. It was just another day of Jungkook being romantic for Nari, until he started to cry.

"Is something wrong? You don't look okay at all today, I noticed it since this morning." Nari comforted him by patting his back gently. He took a while to answer her. "I promise you.. no matter what happens, I will always love you."

Jungkook answer was cheesy as always. "I know that already. Thank you for loving me! You don't have to cry." Nari smiled in his hug. "..... I'm crying because.. my lady is turning into 26 this year...I'm crying because I am happy.. can't you see?" He said in between his sobs. "Of course I can. Now let's go home, I can't wait to read your letter. I wonder what's inside~" She hummed as the two of them walked hand in hand with each other to the parking lot.

Before Nari gets into the car, she was stopped by Jungkook again. "Just let me look at you for one more time." He held her small face in his hands. Staring at her face with lots of love before he gave her a long kiss on her forehead.

"Let me drive, you look very tired right now." Nari offered but Jungkook insisted on driving that night. That night when the rain poured hard, as if the sky was crying.

Everything was answered that night when they were about to exit a junction. A giant lorry with a drunk driver crashed into their car. Everything happened so fast, it felt like a bad dream to Nari. She actually hoped that it was really just a bad dream.

In that bad dream, she could saw Jungkook bleeding badly. His head was covered in blood, but he could still flash a smile to Nari. Slowly, he reached for her hand and brought it to his face. He kissed the palm of her hand with all the energy he had left in him. "I love you.. please.. take care of yourself.. and our baby.." Nari couldn't say anything. She just hoped that her nightmare would end soon.

"I'm..sorry.." That was the last words that Jungkook said, before he closed his eyes, forever.

"Yeobo... No, you can't leave me like this.. Anyone???? Someone???? Anybody??? Help!" Nari kept on shaking Jungkook's dead body. Hoping that he would wake up. A man finally appeared. Nari desperately asked the man to help Jungkook first. She doesn't care what will happen to her, because Jungkook was all that she cared about at that time. Her stomach was aching badly, but she still begged for Jungkook to be saved first. "Please.. save him.." She couldn't remember anything that happened afterward as she out.

Nari woke up in an unfamiliar place. She blinked her eyes a few times before she realized that she was currently in a hospital. "She is finally awake!" A woman exclaimed. "Doctor! Nurse! My daughter in law is awake, please take a look at her" another voice exclaimed.

It was her birth mother and Jungkook's mother. They seemed to be happy when she woke up. But Jungkook was not there. The doctor came and checked her up. The doctor asked her a few questions, like 'can you talk?', 'do you remember your name?' and 'do you feel any pain anywhere?'. She patiently answered the questions.

'Maybe Jungkook will come after this..' She told herself. Suddenly, her mother in law held her hand and smiled softly at her. 'There is no way she could be smiling at me like that if something ever happened to her son.' She convinced herself and smiled back at her mother in law. "Mother, how long did I slept here already?"

"This is the 43th day my dear" She looked at Nari's birth mother. They were exchanging signal through their eyes, which Nari could not understand at all. Her birth mother stepped out of her room and let her converse with her mother in law. "What about Jungkook oppa? He will come later right?"

"I'm afraid he won't..." She pulled Nari into her arms before she continued. "I'm sorry my dear, the doctors could only save you. They couldn't save both Jungkook and your child."

"Mother, please tell me that you were just joking right now." When her mother in law didn't answered her, she woke up to reality. It was not a nightmare. Everything was real. Tears streamed down her face as she apologised to her mother in law. "I'm sorry for being born. If it wasn't for my birthday, none of this would have happened to him. I'm the one who should die. I should die.. I want to die... I want to be with him..." Nari sobbed.

Jungkook's mom wiped Nari's tears away. "Shh.. Don't ever say that. Your mother would be hurt if she heard you. I may have lost a son, but I still have a daughter which he left behind for me." Nari couldn't stop crying until she fell asleep as everything changed in a night for her.

Nari took a final look on the letter that Jungkook left behind for her before she kept it behind the frame again. 'You already know everything that would happen to you that day, don't you?' She kissed the photo with tears in her eyes and put it close to her heart. "I love you, and I really miss you right now. Goodnight." She closed her eyes, hoping that she would be dreaming of Jungkook that night. Before she fell asleep, there was a swift breeze on her face. It was cool yet it calmed her down.

"I love you too, Seo Nari."

---

(Author's note)

Hello everyone! I hoped you enjoyed my short story. To be honest, this was my first attempt to write an angst so I don't know if it worked out or not.

Well, I hope you guys liked it!

Jungkook's letter was from a song called And I'm Here by Kim Kyung Hee if anyone noticed, I just changed the lyrics a bit so it sounds more like a letter.

That's all. Thank you for spending your time here! ♡