"So you mean, your service suspension is being considered? You are going back there?" Baekhyun mouth gapes in surprise.

"Yeah, in a few months I guess. But not in the near future, I promise you," Kyungsoo looks at him, stomach is twisting in knot as he waits for Baekhyun to say something. 

He knew Baekhyun going to hate this but he can't help this situation. He's going back at service anyway, whether it's in a few months or two years later. Baekhyun should understand. 

It takes a while before Baekhyun starts talking again but his face contorted into a frown. 

"You are going back after all then. I should have known that," Baekhyun voice falters as he scoops the rice carefully from his bowl, scraping the one that stick stubbornly on the surface before taking it into his mouth and munches it painfully slow for Kyungsoo observation.

He's upset, Kyungsoo knew it. He did it all the time ;sulking, he means— whenever Kyungsoo brings up the topic related to his profession. But really, Kyungsoo never thought of his service in the military as a profession but instead, he always thought it as a contribution; a passion and he really wish Baekhyun share the same view as him. 

"Well, then I guess I should prepare myself then," He chuckles, "I mean, I'm gonna sleep alone again, until your day off," He looks like he is trying his best to shrug his feeling away and he sip on the plain water, scrunching his face after that. 

"Baekhyun..." Kyungsoo tries to say something but he can't seem to find anything but then Baekhyun speaks up.

"Kyungsoo, it's fine. It's what you like. I'm gonna be fine," Baekhyun gets up, collecting all his dishes before putting it into the sink and washes it all. 

Kyungsoo keep his gaze at Baekhyun, watching as Baekhyun walks away from the kitchen with a slightly hunched back. Kyungsoo sighs. This is going to be hard.

He wakes up next day to find Baekhyun note on the bedside, saying he need to clock in early today. Kyungsoo sighs. He proceed to do the house works and continues to do his paperwork for his return from the suspension. He goes to gym to work his body out after resting so long (well five months is a long time) and come back home to a still empty house. It's already dark, so Kyungsoo looks at the clock and it shows 8 o'clock. It's late, Baekhyun never late to be home, not when Kyungsoo's home. 

Kyungsoo paces around, thinking of many possibilities before deciding to call Baekhyun assistance; Nurse Oh (they bonded quite well since Sehun is such a sweet boy like Baekhyun like to say) but he said Baekhyun already went home. Kyungsoo put the phone down on the table and walks into his room to grab jacket but that's when the front door swings open. 

"I'm home," Baekhyun voice doesn't sound that cheery like he usually sounds. 

Kyungsoo quickly goes to greet Baekhyun.

"Baekhyun, you're home. Where did you go? Sehun said you went home early," 

"I went somewhere, you don't need to worry, I'm already home," Kyungsoo frowns at Baekhyun note. 

Kyungsoo knows Baekhyun is still sulking and he need to fix it. Kyungsoo plans to do it as soon as possible but right now, it just isn't a good time. They eat dinner in silence and Kyungsoo is very thankful that Baekhyun doesn't refuse to eat together with him. Kyungsoo tries to make some conversation but Baekhyun seems doesn't interested in doing so, so Kyungsoo gives up. 

--

Few days—weeks to be precised; passed and Kyungsoo decides to confront Baekhyun since his patience is running thin.

"Baekhyun, we need to talk," Kyungsoo chases after Baekhyun who is on his way going out the house.

"What is it Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun sounds a little bit annoyed but he immediately fixs his voice to the neutral one and says it again. 

"What is it, Kyungsoo-yah" he says, turning around to look at Kyungsoo. 

It's a little bit awkward now, with Baekhyun sudden bust. Kyungsoo stares at him, trying to figure out the words to say without offending him. 

"Well...uhm. Listen Baek, I'm really sorry about my suspension period but didn't we talk about this already?" Kyungsoo moves to stand closer and he's glad that Baekhyun didn't step back or flinch. 

"Please Baek, understand my choice. I really need it," Kyungsoo hesitantly wraps his fingers around Baekhyun slender arm, holding it tight when Baekhyun didn't shove him away. 

Kyungsoo didn't dare to look into Baekhyun eyes, as he knew that Baekhyun might gonna get angry at his words. 

"Why don't you look into my eyes when you said that?" Baekhyun sudden questions makes him flinch. 

"I- it just-... I..." 

But Baekhyun cuts his word first. 

"It's fine Kyungsoo. Yeah, we've talk about this before. And I already said my mind over this," Baekhyun calmly  while gently pries Kyungsoo hand off him. 

"NO BAEKHYUN. I'M SO TIRED BEING LIKE THIS. WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS THING. I'M SO TIRED HAVING YOU RUNNING AWAY EVERYTIME I BROUGHT UP THIS TOPIC-" Kyungsoo paused, chest is still heaving from his outburst.

He takes a deep breath and looks straight into Baekhyun eyes. 

Then he begins again, softly this time—almost whispering; as if in plea. 

"Please, I'm sorry Baekhyun. But please understand," his vision starts to blur and his throat tighten. Kyungsoo plants his fingers deep into his palm as  he looks down, willing himself not to cry; not in front of his husband. 

Baekhyun presses his lips into a thin line, guilt creeping up into his vein. He moves forward until the tip of Kyungsoo toe almost bumps into his, before he stop and give a longing stare at his husband. He let out a heavy sigh. 

"You have no idea how much I love you Kyungsoo. I don't mind you being a soldier, but not in that unit. I loathe it. Every single day I would wait in both fear and excitement. I'm tired of having such feeling like this," Baekhyun touches Kyungsoo cheek, feeling the wetness under his palm before he tilts up Kyungsoo chin gently. 

"I love you Kyungsoo. Forgive me if I ever make you feel bad but believe me, I only want the best for you." Baekhyun voices sounds strained and Kyungsoo look up to see the tears drop from his eyes.

Kyungsoo looks straight into Baekhyun eyes; his is still wet from his own tears while he cradles Baekhyun face in his palms. 

"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo Baekhyun face gently, wiping away the tears that stains Baekhyun pretty face. 

Baekhyun rubs his face against Kyungsoo wrist, pulling Kyungsoo by his waist into the warmth of his arms— and he lets them mold into each other as Kyungsoo melts into Baekhyun hold. 

"I don't want you to leave. I'll be missing you so much then," he holds Kyungsoo tighter and Kyungsoo slides his arms around Baekhyun neck, pulling him closer. 

"I'll miss you too Baek," Kyungsoo mumbles as his face is pressed close into Baekhyun neck. 

And few days later, amongst the letters that arrived, one stands out so much; it's the letter from the military.

Kyungsoo stares at the letter, not daring to even look at it before Baekhyun. And when Baekhyun comes home later that day, Kyungsoo hesitantly hands over the letter to him. 

"...you have been called for redeployement of service," Baekhyun reads out aloud and pauses for a while, letting out a sighs. He hands the letter to Kyungsoo and let him finishes the rest of the letter. 

Kyungsoo rubs his hand on his loose trouser, refuse to read the letter. 

"Here we go, they are summoning you back" Baekhyun gives him a lopsided smile, but it's not full. A glint in his eyes tells Kyungsoo that he's not okay but he blinks it away. 

Kyungsoo takes the letter finally and check the readmission date, 18th October— exactly a month from today. Kyungsoo sighs. This is too soon. His suspension yet to reach the maturity of year but he's been summoned already. Seven months to be precise, putting Baekhyun as his sole commitment and that almost make him forget his bliss as a country servant. 

"It's fine Kyungsoo. We still got plenty of time. It's not like you'll be gone for years. I'll be fine. You'll come back again, so don't worry. I'm okay." Baekhyun sounds like he's assuring himself than giving a comfort but Kyungsoo isn't buying so he moves to sit beside Baekhyun, rubbing his palm on Baekhyun palm in a calming manner and Baekhyun wraps his arm around Kyungsoo waist in reflex. 

Kyungsoo rest his head in the crook of Baekhyun neck, letting his weight settles on Baekhyun broad and firm chest and he feels a pressure on his head, repeating in motion. He smiles, liking the gesture. 

"I'm just really sorry Baekhyun," Kyungsoo whispers, taking Baekhyun free hand into his, tracing the beautiful digits before tangling it with his callous one. "But I'll be back before you even noticed," he continues. 

"Yeah, make sure you do then. But now, hadn't we got something to settle, hmm?" Baekhyun sharp cannines is glinting as he's wearing a playful grin on his face, hoisting up the confused Kyungsoo and make a run to their bedroom— maybe proceeding to their pre-readmission preparation . 

_{a/n: idk wuts happening, don't ask me.^^ this chapter is a little bit tacky since university happened. Anyways enjoy and leave some comment ^^ -f.tc}