“Junhyung.”

“I don’t ing want to, okay? Just leave me alone until I die or something….”

“Junhyung….”

“My head hurts, can you get out?”

The nurse quietly left.

I sighed. I can’t believe I was in here.

I had pulled my tendon in my left arm trying to catch a falling girl and was recovering from the surgery now.

I was missing so much practice. Why wouldn’t they release me? Plus, catching a girl was such a stupid reason to get my arm, my arm all messed up.

My father, the doctor, walked in.

“Junhyung, I want you to meet someone”, he said.

“I don’t want to meet anyone.”

“Get up, we’re going”, my father said, and jerked me, a sick patient, out of bed.

“Dad…”
He dragged me to a room down the hall.

“Be polite”, he warned, and then threw me into a room where I guess that “someone” was.

“Hello.”

I turned to look.

My mouth dropped open.

It was the same girl that I had injured myself for.  

“Um… I heard you wanted to get out of your room so I thought… well, it’s the least I could offer…”

“Thanks, but no thanks”, I said, angrily. I started to walk out.

“Wait”, she called. “You’re not hurt badly, are you?”

I showed her my mangled arm. “This isn’t bad? I’m a dancer! I can’t do anything!”

“Oh, you’re a dancer?”, she seemed delighted.

“Yeah, so?”

“That’s awesome. What do you dance?”

“I b-boy, mostly. Some tutting, turfing, popping…”

“Cool.”

“I placed third in statewise compeititon, you know”, I told her.

“That’s awesome”, she said, grinning.

“Yeah, well”, I said, feeling awkward now. “Can’t do anything cause of this arm now.”

“When are you set to be released?”, she asked, looking concerned.

“Maybe a week. I don’t know how long exactly.” I sighed.

“Well, we all get out of here, one way or another. I wouldn’t worry too much. But I am sorry for landing you in the hospital.” She seemed sincere. She took my hand and kissed it.

 “Er-“, I said, snatching my hand away.

“Sorry, I’m an affectionate person. It doesn’t mean anything”, she said, smiling.

“Right.”

Awkward silence settled between us. My heart was thundering in my chest. Why...?

She was smiling at me, as though she could hear my heart... and knew why it was practically hammering a hole in my chest.

“Um… w-when’s your release date?”, I asked, just to break the awkward silence.

“I don’t know for sure either”, she said. “Estimated time… maybe… two months? That’s probably stretching it.”

“Oh… not too bad then.”

“Not bad at all”, she smiled. Then she pointed to the window, “I think the doctor wants you.”

“That’s my Dad”, I replied.

“Oh, your Dad is the doctor? My sister is the nurse”, she answered. “That’s how I knew you wanted to leave your room for a bit.”

“Oh, really?… What’s your name?”, I asked.

“ Cha Eun Suk. My sister is Cha Soo Jin.”

“I’m Junhyung”, I said, slightly awkward.

“Okay, Junhyung.”, she smiled.

“Well, thanks for hanging out with me, I guess. And I forgive you… about this”,I pointed to my arm with my good hand.

She smiled. “Bye. Good Luck with your recovery and dance!”

“Yeah.”

I left, my chest felt less constricted.

I was released within the week and returned to my normal life soon enough.

I met with the B2ST boys, and we celebrated my return with a party.

My arm healed in about a month, and I was back to practicing. I had a lot to catch up with before our debut.

I finished practice an hour later than the others and walked in to find the others relaxing.
Doojoon, Dongwoon, and Kikwang were watching some variety show. Yoseob was playing with our puppy. Hyunseung was doing his own thing, as usual, reading a newspaper. I intended to walk past without showing any interest in him, but something had me grab the newspapers from his hands.

“Yah!’, he shouted.

I ignored him.

The picture on the front page was of the girl I had talked with at the hospital, I swear.

I looked at the headline for the picture.

It said-

The newspaper slowly dropped from my hands.

It couldn’t be.

It can’t.

Can’t….

Doojoon came over to me and picked up the paper. He read the headline out loud.

“NATIONAL CHAMPION BALLERINA DIAGNOSED WITH TERMINAL PANCREATIC CANCER PASSED AWAY.”

“Junhyung…?”, Doojoon said, hesitantly.

“Oh, you’re a dancer? That’s awesome.”

“Yeah, I placed third in statewide competition, you know.”

NATIONAL CHAMPION BALLERINA…

“You’re not hurt badly, are you?”

“This isn’t bad? I’m a dancer! I can’t do anything!”

…

“I’m sorry, I’m just an affectionate person.. . it doesn’t mean anything.”

DIAGNOSED WITH TERMINAL PANCREATIC CANCER…

“Um… w-when’s your release date?”

“Estimated time… maybe… two month? That’s probably stretching it.”

“Oh… not too bad then.”

“Not bad at all.”  

PASSED AWAY.

“We all get out of here one way or another.”

I bowed my head to hide from my brothers, unable to stem the flow of tears.

“Um… I heard you wanted to get out of your room so I thought… well, it’s the least I could offer…”

 I closed my eyes.

"My name is Cha Eun Suk."

Cha Eun Suk...

When I opened my eyes again, I was standing on a stage.

I looked beside me.

She was standing there, in a ballerina outfit. She looked beautiful.

She took my hand and kissed it.

“You’re debuting in a week, right?”, she asked, smiling.

 I nodded, unable to smile.

“Aw, Junghyung, c’mon. Don’t be such a girl”, she poked me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, I whispered. I sounded broken.  

“I didn’t want you to get distracted from your dreams of being the best dancer”, she answered.  

“Are you saying I would have fallen for you and never left your side?”, I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled mischievously. “Are you telling me that’s not true?”

I laughed sadly. “Last time it was just my arm you broke… this time it’s something much worse.”

“It’s okay. You’ll recover”, she said seriously, placing her hand over my heart.

I  pulled her into my arms.

“Thank you… for that day. For letting me get out of my room.”, I told her.

She hugged me back.

“Now I know why you kissed my hand. If I had only so much time to live, I wouldn’t think twice about expressing my affections to anyone either”, I said.

She kissed my shoulder.

“Cha Eun Suk”, I said, crying. “We could have danced together.”

She stepped back from me and  looked into my eyes.

“Don’t try to hang on to the past. Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve… These mean nothing to me because I have so many of them!” She laughed.

Then she said passionately,“Focus on today. Junhyung, just don’t forget that today, the day so many people don’t think twice about, the day so many people will casually pass by, is the day I have tried with all my life to get to, and never did.”

I felt a tear drop from my eye and race to my chin.

She smiled. So lovely.

“Good Luck with your recovery and dance!”

She waved good-bye at me.

I took a deep breath and looked up.

The crowd was screaming for us, for our debut.

“Junhyung, you okay?”, Kikwang asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I looked up at him and smiled as best as I could.

“Kikwang, today’s the day.”

“Yeah, it is”, he said.

“Kikwang…”

“What’s up?”

“Good Luck”, I said, and then I mouthed to myself, “With your recovery and dance.” 

I promised myself that I would find where she was buried, maybe get in contact with the nurse who was her sister…

And visit her, lay some flowers down or something.

But until then…

I’ll live everyday giving my all. I won’t ever forget that you aren’t with me today.

You fool, Cha Eun Suk.

Why didn’t you tell me?

We could have danced together.

At least.

One time…