Tic. Toc.

Kate tosses and turns on the purple lined bed as she attempts to get some sleep. She’s been lying in bed for hours hoping to get her well deserved shut-eye, but it’s proving to be very difficult at the moment. She’s never been like this, sleeping has always been the easiest thing for her. Why is it so difficult to do it now?

Tic. Toc.

Kate turns right and faces her study table. She opens her eyes and adjusts to the darkness. However dark it may be, she could still see the framed photos that lined the table, the smiles on them gleamed in the darkness, as if teasing her to have more than just a glance.

Tic. Toc.

Kate turns left and closes her eyes again, inhaling the scent on her pillow. She could smell more than lavender from it, her favorite perfume. There was a whiff of manly scent, one she could easily recognize.

But not right now. Not right at that moment.

Tic. Toc.

Kate moves her knees up a little; her purple blanket slips away from her body as she did so. For the first time in her life, Kate doesn’t mind this. She should be used to the coldness now anyway.

She just wants to sleep.

Just sleep.

Riiiiiinnnnggggg~

Kate’s face contorts into the frustration that she is feeling right at that very moment. She tosses her blanket away from her body and irritably looks at her alarm clock, its digital purplish numbers glowing in the darkness.

6 AM.

Kate groans at this and turns toward her right again and grabs the extra pillow beside her, covering her face with it.

Riiiiiinnnnggggg~

Kate ignores her alarm clock and screams her frustration on her pillow instead. It can go on and on forever and she wouldn’t care anymore. She questions herself now on why she sets it at this time when her work supposedly starts at 8 AM anyway. Moreover, her work is just a block away from her place and she can easily walk towards her building 15 minutes before her time. Her alarm clock continuously screams its way into the darkness while she pondered on these thoughts.

After a while, the alarm clock finally stops ringing, much to Kate’s relief. She sighs and pulls the pillow off her face, only to smell the same whiff of perfume she had sniffed earlier. She dismisses the thoughts coming to her and hugs the pillow, burying her face on it.

'Eggiyah Ireona~'

Kate literally stops thinking upon hearing this.

She shuts her eyes tight, trying to block all thought, all emotion, all sounds she could hear…

'Eggiyah Ireona~'

A solitary tear falls on Kate’s tightly shut eyes, her heart beating madly as ever. She tries to ignore the thoughts but she couldn’t. She opens her eyes instead and turns left again. On top of her lamp table, beside her alarm clock, her mobile phone vibrates, light flashing on its screen. Kate stares at it for a while, unbelieving, trying not to feel anything.

'Eggiyah Ireona~'

She almost chokes on her tears as she slowly sits down and takes the phone from the table. A tiny tear falls on its screen, blurring the image that flashed with the lights. A man she knew for all her life, smiles up at her, his perfectly lined white teeth gleamed even in her mobile phone’s screen. A message is embedded below the image saying, ‘Baby, Wake up!’ The English translation of what her mobile phone is screaming about at that very moment…

'Eggiyah Ireona~'

His voice now echoes in her ears…

Kate closes her eyes and finds the courage to stop her mobile phone’s alarm. It took her a few seconds before her thumb landed on the cancel key. She drops her phone on her bed and breathes in heavily. Slowly she moves away from the bed and walks towards the windows, she pushes the purple curtains away, letting the sunshine slowly seep in inside the room.

Minwoo.

His voice still echoing in her ears, no matter how she tries to stop it.

Kate forces herself to move forward and walk towards her closet, where a towel neatly hangs on its handle. She sighs at the sight of it and drags herself towards her bathroom. The mirror welcomes her sight, and Kate blinks back the tears that threatened to fall again upon seeing her reflection on it. She looked like a zombie. A broken hearted one at that.

She drags herself towards the shower and ignores the little things she saw in them. Her movements were swift, most unlike what she usually does; she opens the shower and douses herself with the coldness that comes from it.

But it is not coldness that she is feeling right now. There is only warmth, one that comes from her eyes, down to her cheeks and into the ness that is her body.

He forgot to bring his shampoo with him.

Nor his freaking toothbrush.

Nor his face towel, now hanging beside her mirror.

Nor his favorite toothpaste…

Thoughts swirl inside Kate’s head, and with all her strength, she blocks them. She does not need them right now. No. Her eyes have cried enough tears. It has been days, almost a week now actually.

Why did he have to leave them all behind?

Why did he have to leave her behind?

No matter what people say about how strong love is, Kate’s experience defied all of it.

For sometimes, love, no matter how strong it is, is just not enough to fight everything else that challenges it.

Kate closes the shower and fights the feelings that were enveloping her. Instead she focuses on getting dressed for work and making her day right, like she used to. She proceeds towards her closet again and groans at the sight of it.

She forgot to take out the post it’s on her tops. Her clothes were still as organized as they were before; days before she succumbed to her loneliness and decided to shun herself away from the world.

Kate sighs and takes one top out of the closet, along with the pants that should accompany it, taking the post it notes on top of them. ‘FRIDAY’ landed softly on the floor. Kate picks it up and throws it on her purple bin. She looks at her alarm clock again, it’s digital keys flashing, 6:40 AM.

After dressing up and applying light make up on her face; just to hide the zombie like image she now projects, she rushes downstairs and into her kitchen to grab some food from the fridge to take to work.

She groans upon seeing the note posted on the fridge’s door.

‘Baby, don’t forget to drink your milk, I bought you some for this week. Your sandwich is prepared as always, grab one and heat it up at work. Don’t be late! Fighting! – Minwoo’

Kate sighs again and opens the fridge, grabbing the 7th bottle of milk and placing it on her kitchen counter. She grabs one of the prepared sandwiches, there were more stack up on top of each other, each in their plastic containers. She shuts the fridge, pours milk on her purple mug, drinks it in one shot, washes the mug and places it back on its counter; she did all of this in haste, trying not to think nor to feel anything else than the emptiness that is enveloping her at that very moment.

Taking the sandwich from the counter, she places it in her bag and proceeds to go out of her apartment. After locking the doors, she faces the street full of people hastily walking towards the pedestrian lane at the end of her street. Kate looks at her watch, 7 AM. She takes out her sunglasses and covers her eyes while she walks slowly towards the pedestrian lane, not really minding the people that were bumping her, nor the snide comments that comes after it.

She steps on the end of her safe side and looks at her watch again, 7:05 AM. It actually took her 5 minutes to reach the end of the street, what a record breaker. She usually takes more than that, enjoying the walk most of the time. She looks up at the traffic light, now signaling yellow, it will turn red in a few seconds. Kate looks straight at the end of the pedestrian lane, anticipating the cross she has to make.

She stops.

Her breathing stops.

Her world, literally stops.

Kate stares at the guy at the end of the lane, holding hands with a beautiful girl, who was animatedly talking to him, ready to cross the street.

The very same guy who set her damn alarm clock to 6 AM.

Who hanged her towel neatly on her closet handle.

Who forgot to take his shampoo, his toothbrush, his face towel, his toothpaste and God know what else.

Who neatly hanged her clothes according to the day she had to wear them.

Who made her sandwich for the rest of the week.

Who bought her bottles of milk for her to drink in the morning before she goes to work, and in the evening before she goes to bed.

Minwoo.

Who is smiling at the girl beside him, Kate could see it, trying to laugh at whatever amusing story the girl must be saying, but his happiness that really reaching his eyes.

Minwoo.

Who said goodbye 4 days ago.

Who tried to fight for her but can’t.

Who didn’t have a choice but to marry some girl for his family. The one who now stands beside him.

Minwoo.

Who had loved her so much.

Minwoo.

Who she loved so much.

It took a few seconds before Kate realizes it.

They’re going to see each other.

She suddenly turns around; about to go back to her apartment, but the light turn red and several people pushes her at the center of the street. She has no other choice but to cross now. She stops on her tracks, again not minding the people bumping her, not saying any comments now, for all were in a hurry to cross.

Minwoo looks up and sees the red light; he guides the girl beside him towards the pedestrian lane and starts to cross the street.

Kate drags her feet and walks.

Minwoo looks toward her way and stares at her thunderstruck. The girl beside him continuously talks, not noticing the expression on his face.

“No.’ Kate mouths at him, Minwoo shakes his head, his small eyes widening still.

It felt like several hours before they finally found each other face to face at the center of the lane. And it felt like the world slowed down for both of them, to witness the bitterness that is embracing them…

She could smell the familiar scent from her pillows. The manly scent she loved and picked with him.

She could see him staring at her despite holding the hands of the girl beside him.

She could see that one tiny tear falling down from his left eye, slowly sliding on his cheeks, unseen and hidden.

She felt his free hand touching hers, grabbing it, squeezing it tight and then letting go.

She could feel her tears falling down her cheeks, from the eyes that were hidden by the glasses that she wore.

And then, the world revolves again.

They pass by each other.

Kate tries not to look back, but she gives in to the temptation anyway. She takes a glance and sees Minwoo laughing at whatever the girl is saying. Although his laughter is loud enough for her to hear, she could still sense the loneliness from it.

She could only see his back now, one she never wanted to see ever.

She swiftly turns her head back on the road and crosses the lane. Her heart aches at the thoughts that are running through her head now.

The moment she steps on the safe side, she feels her mobile phone vibrating on her bag. She hastily takes it out and stares at the screen, now flashing a message that she received an SMS. She dreads what she is about to see, but pushes the read key anyway.

‘I love you Kate, I really do. I’m so sorry. Goodbye.’

She places the mobile phone back in her bag and continuously walks. There is no turning back now. This is their end.

Her end.

And there’s nothing she can do about it.