Jisoo's mother had always told him that there was no reason to hate the key mark on his hip. Many Forcebearers yearned for the freedom and possibilities that he had been granted and would give everything to change their fate - but not Jisoo. Although he loved his mother dearly and valued all the advice she had given him throughout the years, for once he had to disagree.

When the mark had appeared almost five years ago, it had abruptly taken away the prospect of a secure future together with his parents and their Wielder. It had further ripped him out of his old life when the few friends he had made in school had started to avoid him after bonding with Wielders who had eyed him with obvious distrust and poorly disguised contempt.

In the beginning it had been mere dislike he had felt towards the little key on his hip, but the dislike had grown into resentment over time, festering in his heart, breaking through his barriers on lonely nights when he had sat alone in his shabby flat in Daegu after another long day of fruitless job-hunting and denied opportunities.

It had been so very hard to stay positive when he had to endure the profanities people were whispering behind his back - and of course he had known the rumours that had been floating around; after all he was neither deaf nor dumb. Nasty rumours about his mother and himself, the Wielder born by Forcebearers, the freak. While he had managed to mostly ignore the words directed at him, every insult towards his loving mother had torn at his heart.

After four long years, he had fled. Leaving behind everything he had known so far, he had arrived in Seoul with nothing but his suitcase, a key for his new flat, and hope for a happier future.

But even in the busy capital, his mark in combination with his shy nature had made it hard for him to fit in and so the resentment had kept growing into something even darker - until he had met Chan. Before meeting the younger, the thought to use his mark to help people had never crossed his mind since he had been too preoccupied with the negative aspects of being a Wielder to actually appreciate the possibilities given to him like his mother had suggested. But with each contract he had formed, each friend he had made, and each life he had improved, he came to like his mark more. The people who accepted him for who he was had helped him to finally accept himself.

However, now everything was falling apart, and the resentment he had felt before returned with vengeance - amplified, brooding and dark.

If he could exchange his key for the mark of a Forcebearer, he would do so in a heartbeat.

-

This was definitely the most anxious I had ever been in my whole life and hell, there were a lot of moments that had put me on edge before. Not even getting punished by my former Wielder had freaked me out as much as the current situation and that was saying something. And the others were not exactly helping me calm down. The opposite, actually.

Chan was striding up and down the room like a caged animal and Minghao was tapping his fingers against the couch in an irritating rhythm that made me want to punch his annoying face. At least Seokmin and Jun were sitting somewhat calm next to me; the only reason I hadn't lost my head yet. I hated bad news and I hated them even more if I had to be the bearer. My fingers twitched in my lap when I thought about what I was going to say and I could feel cold sweat forming on my brow. As always, Jun somehow knew what I was thinking and his hand found my fingers in seconds - although it didn't help much, his fingers were even colder than mine.

We were all waiting for Jisoo to return from university and it made me incredibly restless that he wasn't here yet. Seokmin had said that he was getting coffee with the other guys and I couldn't think of a worse timing for something as unnecessary as a hot drink. There was an expensive coffee machine in the kitchen, for 's sake.

But on the other hand, he was probably stressed too after all the bad vibes this morning, so I couldn't really blame him. Not that I ever would anyway, he was Jisoo after all. Jun raised an eyebrow at me when he noticed my smile but I only shook my head in response. Too embarrassing to say it out loud and the other Forcebearers probably wouldn't like it either.

Once again I tried to connect with Jisoo - it bothered me that I hadn't been able to feel him throughout the day since it was unusual for him to cut us off - but it was like trying to walk though a brickwall and I gave up with an annoyed sigh. I hadn't known that he had gotten this good at controlling the bonds. Usually it was us who stopped our feelings before they could reach him and I hated the hole in my chest where his emotions should be. But I probably would have to get used to it.

My heart jumped into my throat when the front door opened and I looked up to greet my Wielder. His appearance hit me like a truck and, just like the others, I got up immediately to run over - but after a few steps I stopped myself. My brother did the same next to me.

Jisoo was pale. Not his usual creamy paleness but deathly pale in a way that made the shadows below his eyes stand out. Somehow it made him look much younger than he was which only got reinforced by an ugly rag-doll he was holding - was it a bunny? It was hard to make out through his tightly clenched fingers.

Chan had pulled off Jisoo's parka and Minghao had wrapped a blanket around his shaking shoulders while Seokmin had vanished towards the kitchen. I was itching to get closer too, to pester him with questions and to hug him until he stopped looking like a freaking ghost, but I forced myself to stand back when Minghao led Jisoo to the sofa and told him to sit. It was better that way.

"What happened, hyung?" Chan sounded as if he was close to tears and he definitely wasn't the only one. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I wouldn't cry. I had sworn myself that I wouldn't.

Instead of answering the question, Jisoo began to fiddle with the doll, his fingers sliding over the dirty fabric in an erratic rhythm. "A-are the others back a-already?"

"Not yet, I thought they're with you?" I jumped at the unexpected sound of Seokmin's voice but he simply passed me and set down a cup of hot tea in front of our Wielder.

Tense silence filled the air while we Forcebearers stood around uselessly and our Wielder kept playing with the doll, his eyes never leaving his hands. I was contemplating what to say when Minghao beat me to it - fortunately. "What's the matter, Jisoo? Come on, talk to us."

Jisoo still refused to look up and I held my breath to hear his quiet answer. "W-we're cancelling t-their contracts."

I felt my soul leave my body at his words and while the others assaulted him with questions, I shared a look with my brother. He had turned pale at the news and I was pretty sure I looked the same, judging by my shaking hands. "Are you- are we still gonna do it?" he asked, his voice almost inaudible over the ruckus.

"There's no other option." My reply left a horrible aftertaste in my mouth and I hated the broken look in Jun's eyes when he nodded. What was I doing to my brother? What was I doing to my Wielder? Was there really no other way?

I had zoned out long enough to miss most of the actual conversation but I got harshly pulled back into reality when Jisoo started to cry, tears dripping down his chin and onto the doll he still held in an iron grip. .

Chan was next to him on the couch in seconds, together with Seokmin and even Minghao kneeled down in front of him. I felt like the biggest for not doing anything, but it would just make it harder for all of us afterwards if I followed my impulses now.

"I-I won't blame you if you want to leave t-too; just tell me." His voice was so shaky, he was hard to understand, but the efforts of the others seemed to have helped a little and at least he wasn't crying anymore, though he had started rubbing the doll once again. The topic itself made me extremely uncomfortable and judging by my brother's face, he felt the same way.

"Of course not, hyung. I don't care what you do; I won't leave you as long as you want to keep me," Chan declared passionately, Minghao nodding along. My stomach clenched. Pledges of loyalty, great. "I don't have anywhere to go anyway," the boy silently added as an afterthought and Seokmin squeezed his hand to comfort him.

Minghao simply shrugged with an easy-going grin. "You pretty much saved my life; I still need to repay you. Until then I won't leave you alone." Jisoo cracked a small smile at his lighthearted tone but I felt even worse. He had saved us as well.

"You're my best friend; of course I won't leave you." Seokmin kept rubbing Chan's hand while speaking but his eyes were focused on Jisoo before they moved to me and my brother. The others followed his gaze and we were caught right in the spotlight.

This was going so much worse than I had hoped for. I had imagined some alone-time with Jisoo, maybe together with Jun, and in that scene our Wielder had been smiling since he had just scored himself a boyfriend. But now said boyfriend seemed to have decided that he needed to leave together with his brothers - what the actual , Seungcheol? - and it made us look like major s for having the same plan.

I played with a string of loose yarn from my worn-out hoodie and avoided eye-contact. I knew I only made it worse by staying quiet but it was pretty ing scary to actually speak the words out loud that I needed to say. It would make it real and irreversible and the thought choked me.

After a pause that seemed to stretch for several millennia, I finally forced myself to speak, my eyes firmly focused on the doll in Jisoo's hands. "I'm the problem." I took a deep breath and ignored my brother's muttered protest. "Jun wants to stay 'cause he has feelings for you and 'cause you saved his life but I'm different and I can't handle the situation. You're an amazing person, Jisoo, but I can't imagine having a Wielder I'm in love with; 'specially not if my brother's in love with him too. I don't wanna risk losing Jun over a fight or something. I'm so sorry." I wasn't sure if the word vomit I had just blurted out had made any sense; I was too busy forcing myself not to cry. A wild mixture of relief and regret filled me; relief about finally being able to speak at least some of the thoughts that had kept bothering me, and regret because I was hurting the two people I loved the most. And myself.

The silence that answered scared me but I was too much of a wimp to face Jisoo head on, so I kept staring at the doll instead.

"I understand." The lack of emotion in Jisoo's voice was definitely more terrifying than his silence and if I had to choose, I'd probably pick the crying Wielder from earlier over this one. "So you will leave as well?" he asked tonelessly and I glanced over to my brother who looked completely distraught.

"Yes," he answered after clearing his throat twice, "it's too dangerous for Hansol alone."

"But where will you go?" Chan's voice was trembling and it made my eyes sting even more. "You don't have a place to stay."

Fair point. We had discussed this question multiple times throughout the morning but hadn't really come to a conclusion other than the obvious. "Back on the streets, I guess." I hated the way my voice was breaking. I was giving up my love, my friends and my home because I was scared and I hated myself for it - but I knew it was for the best. "Maybe we'll leave the country; it's probably saf-". I got cut off by the sound of the front door opening.

Everything seemed to freeze for a few seconds before Jihoon took the first tentative step into his flat, followed by Jeonghan and Seungcheol. I noticed that Jisoo's eyes immediately returned to his doll as if he wasn't able to bear the sight of his Warriors. And once again, I couldn't blame him.

"Uhm... hi. We talked about what you said in the co