As if it hadn't been a depressing enough day already, rain started pouring as soon as Jisoo, Soonyoung and Chan left the classroom to get lunch. Taking the chance, Jisoo told the others to go first already, while he would go and grab his umbrella from his locker.

As soon as the two students had turned around the nearest corner (after some weak protest from Chan), he speed-walked to the library to hide behind paper and rows of wooden shelves - like he always had whenever he had felt as if the world was collapsing.

Jisoo hurried along the familiar paths between the shelves, deeply inhaling the scent of old books which always calmed and comforted him. Slowing down, he followed one of the rows in the far back of the large hall. His favourite spot, the one where he had met Yongguk for the first time, was completely deserted. His bag made a dull sound when it was thoughtlessly dropped and Jisoo slumped down next to it, his back leaned against the bookshelf behind him.

He remained in absolute motionlessness for a few seconds, only his chest kept moving. During the morning he had forced himself not to let his emotions show too much - but now, alone in his row in the library, he finally allowed himself the freedom to feel. The pain in his stomach, a remainder from his earlier talk with Jihoon, spread into his chest until it felt as if his heart was melting and he curled into himself for comfort.

Deep, hot shame filled him, drowning every thought. He had been ignorant of the feelings of his Forcebearers. Of his friends. Of the people he had thought he was closest with. Stupidly- no, arrogantly, he had assumed that he knew them just because he was able to catch glimpses of their feelings - but the morning alone had proven him wrong in every possible way.

Inept. The word that was haunting him.

Inept and useless, just like the people in his home town had whispered behind his back when he had found the dreaded key mark on his hip at his 18th birthday. A Wielder born from Forcebearers was just a second class Wielder after all; unable to understand his Bonded and unable to make them as happy as they deserved to be.

The shame he felt got only overshadowed by his guilt. It burned inside of him, in the pit of his stomach, and it made him sick to the core.

And love? He loved all of them dearly, even Minghao who he only saw two or three times a week, and Seokmin who had only been bonded for a day. But was his kind of love the same they felt for him? Were the romantic feelings he had felt during Seungcheol's confession just a spur of the moment thing caused by his excitement and the wish to be loved, not as a friend but as a partner?

He wasn't sure, and the uncertainty was fodder for the doubts that had festered in the back of his mind and in the deepest, darkest parts of his heart.

The silent squeaking of rubber soles on linoleum ripped Jisoo out of his misery and alarmed him of the presence of another student a few rows down the hall. Hastily he wiped his eyes and pulled a random book from the shelf behind him to look at least somewhat busy - and to hide his face.

As soon as he had parted the pages and lifted it up, a folded piece of paper tumbled into his lap.

He stared at it for a moment, numbly wondering what life had up its sleeve now, but curiosity won and he picked it up. The handwriting was unmistakable and he wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry at the Forcebearer's omnipresence.

Scrawled beneath a row of numbers were the words "Text me".

Jisoo sighed and leaned back against the bookshelf. For a few moments he contemplated whether he actually wanted to talk to the Guardian or if it would make the whole situation even worse. Maybe he should just ignore the paper and go to the cafeteria - but the prospect of distraction was a welcome one, so he grabbed his bag and pulled out his phone. Chan's, Seungcheol's and Yongguk's names flashed on the screen, indicating missed calls. Unsure whether he could talk to them without breaking down once again, Jisoo ignored them and instead saved the number he had just received.

[13:16] Hong Jisoo: This is Jisoo. Are you free to talk?

[13:16] ?: yes~ how are you doing?

[13:17] Hong Jisoo: Not great, how are you and what should I save you as?

[13:17] ?: pretty good~ you shall call me the mysterious locker phantom

[13:18] Hong Jisoo: I'll stick to Clairvoyance Guardian, thank you. Why do you want to stay incognito?

[13:18] ?: you're no fun

[13:18] ?: but for real my wielder doesn't know i'm talking to you and it's probably better that way

[13:19] ?: just making sure

[13:19] Hong Jisoo: Is he attending this university, too?

[13:19] ?: no and enough about me

[13:19] ?: the others finally talked to you and now you're a mess but you know what?

[13:20] Hong Jisoo: What?

[13:20] ?: it'll get worse :D

Jisoo frowned at the smiley and contemplated once again to just put his phone away and maybe turn it off in the process.

[13:22] Hong Jisoo: You're not helpful, you know?

[13:22] ?: sorry~ i'm not good with people but i'm just trying to help

[13:23] Hong Jisoo: How will it get worse?

[13:23] ?: some will leave you

[13:23] ?: but new ones will come

Jisoo felt his heart drop at the news. The thought of any of his Bonded leaving was heart wrenching but imagining more than one person cancelling their contract made his whole body ache. The prospect of bonding new Forcebearers wasn't encouraging either - he wanted to keep his friends and not go through all the trouble again. Nobody could replace them anyway. With shaky fingers he started typing again.

[13:26] Hong Jisoo: Who is going to leave?

[13:27] ?: not gonna tell you it'll make you behave weirdly towards them

Jisoo swallowed dryly and rubbed his face.

[13:28] Hong Jisoo: Is there anything else you want to tell me?

[13:28] ?: i can't decide what i see and mostly my visions are short and confusing

[13:29] ?: i saw you crying after they left you but i also saw you laughing in a vision

[13:29] ?: another one was pretty bloody but i'm not sure who was bleeding might've just been the blood of a new bond

[13:29] ?: i'll text you if i know anything new

[13:30] Hong Jisoo: Thank you, I'm glad you're helping me even though I don't know why.

[13:30] ?: you'll repay me eventually