C H A P T E R 1 2: I wanted to.

“Kibum, can I talk to you?” Jonghyun asked as he stuck his head inside the younger boy’s room, knowing that there was no reason to hide the rest of the body behind the door, since Kibum wasn’t able to see him anyways. He was still seated at the bed, actually, besides crossing his arms over his chest, he had barely moved at all.

“About what?” Kibum grunted and turned his head slightly away. It was quite hard for Jonghyun to know what he was thinking, but one thing was for sure; he was indeed unpleasant about something.

“About just now, what I said when my mother was here,” Jonghyun answered and gestured his head towards the door in a pure reflex. He stepped a little bit closer to Kibum, trying not to make it too obviously, by silencing his steps as much as possible. ”I am really sorry you know, it really was not meant like that. My mom says that I just, often end up acting regardless in front of people I care about.”

“You—You care about me?” He asked, seeming like he was searching for some kind of approval of what he just had heard, while a faint red tint roamed his face’s otherwise pale skin texture.  

“Of course I do. I like you in fact,” Jonghyun stopped and made his way over to Kibum’s bed, sat down beside him and intertwined their hands before continuing: “But please don’t misunderstand it; it is more like in a best friend kind of way – if you understand.”

“I do understand,” he sighed expressionless. “But what I don’t understand is if all this just have been one big lie for you or not: The very first time we meet each other because you went after me in the hallway, because you caught me by your door and we both ended up on the floor, or when you approached me in the garden when I was sitting and being all alone. And what about all these times when you have been sitting in here, playing your guitar? Was it all just one big forced act because you had promised your mother to come and ‘have a talk’ with me, if you got any time?”

Jonghyun’s eyes were wide opened by the time the younger one had finished speaking, his mouth was to some extent ajar and his hand was by now, literally clenching onto Kibum’s petite one. “Bummie, is that what you think? I mean yes, it’s true that I promised my mother that if I got any free time away from my schedules then I would come and visit you – and truth is, that if it wasn’t because of my accident that would probably never had happened. But all this, I haven’t done that because my mother told me to, you know? I didn’t follow you that day because of my mother. I didn’t approach you in the garden because of my mother either. I did it because you seemed like an interesting guy and because I wanted to.”

Silence.

“Kibum?” Jonghyun questioned worried as he didn’t get any answer. He tilted his head to get a proper look at his features, and just to notice that his bandage was turning wet. “Aigoo, are you crying again?” He stated and embraced him, in hope that it would comfort him just a little bit. “I am a fool; I understand it now, okay? I am sorry.”

The boy in his arm just shook his head, still not saying anything as he nuzzled into his shoulder once again. Hell, how many times had they even been sitting like this? With Jonghyun having his arms wrapped around Kibum’s waist, while the latter would cry into his shoulder in a search for comfort.

This just shows how unstable this poor boy actually can be.

Kibum sniffed and moved a bit away from him, making Jonghyun to loss the grip around him. “Thank you.”

“…For what?” Jonghyun asked confused.

“Just for…” Kibum hesitated as he thought about a proper answer. “…Just for being you. I appreciate all what you have done for me.”

“…Making you cry at least three times?”

This made Kibum laugh and shake his head once again. “No, but all the other things.”

“Oh,” Jonghyun stated shortly. Not really knowing what to say about it.

Just then, someone knocked onto the door and Jonghyun figured it was his mother. She had been talking with some of the other nurses, since Jonghyun had asked her to give him a moment to talk with Kibum on his own – and that moment was probably long gone. 

Kibum mumbled a little ‘come in’ and as the door went open, it was truly enough Jonghyun’s mother who was standing in the doorway and sent her son a questioned look. Jonghyun just nodded and waved her inside. She spoke as she ordered Jonghyun movement: “I am sorry if I disturb you, but my time it about to run out. I guess I don’t even have time for the check-up, if the nurses have to give you a bath as well.”

Jonghyun turned his head towards Kibum, just to see that his face scrunched up by the mentioning of the word bath. He smiled. The boy had often complained to him, about how awful embarrassing and uncomfortable it was to getting bathed by the nurses.

“Hm, don’t worry mom, just do you check-up, then I will take care of the bathing.”