→ Chapter 011

The next week wasn’t very eventful, and Mina had spent most of her days revising for the few exams left or hanging out around the streets of Seoul with Chanyeol, but even that was rare. Her best friend, for some unknown reason she thought it would be uncomfortable to ask of, couldn’t come to her house nor reply to her texts properly. For a second, she thought about him leaving her side as well (just like Sangmi had done) and it struck her like lightening. Her state of mind wasn’t stable to begin with, anxiousness and nervousness seeping through her mind since the academic rankings’ announcing is approaching, and stressing about Chanyeol wouldn’t do her any good.

The freezing breeze entered from the open window and traveled along the carpeted hallways into the big chamber where Mina was laying around with only a bra and pajama pants on. Her legs (which she didn’t touch with a razor since ages) were beneath her as she rolled around the comfy bed. And soon after the caress of the cold kissed her skin, she ran to her closet, picking a cotton pink sweater she loves. As her head went into the third hole of the clothing, her phone buzzed loudly and she unlocked it –it took her a few minutes to find it because it was covered with her sheets and the book she was reading– with a small smile. Park Chanyeol has sent you a message one minute ago, it read. Mina would’ve been already down the stairs to open the door for him if it weren’t for the preview beginning with the word ‘sorry’. It wasn’t the first time he cancelled in the past two weeks, but Mina was still upset. A disappointed scowl twisted her lips as soon as she read the rest of his text, where he briefly explained why he couldn’t come. He knew Mina would let it go if he told her he was tired, and he used it to his advantage. Mina only shook her head and sighed, her chest heaving up and down, before settling on her bed again and picking up where she left in Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None”. Her all-time favorite author helped distract her mind and stopped from going too far.

Mina had already reached page 79 when somebody knocked on the door. Her brows furrowed because one, it was a stranger since everybody knows the Kang house has a bell (it wasn't that noticeable, since the buttons were placed in the far right corner of the door), and two, because she expected nobody to come. Her mother had an important patient today so she couldn’t come home early. It couldn’t be Chanyeol, also. Maybe… it was Irene? No, the girl probably hated her now, considering the looks she throws at her whenever they pass by each other in the cafeteria.

Now that the mystery book wasn’t resting between her hands anymore, Mina’s mind went a bit far and expected a certain raven-headed boy standing on her doorstep. But the cold wind brushed over her face again, like a wake-up call, reminding her that whatever she was hoping for was impossible. Maybe hoping wasn’t the word to describe it, more like she feared but anticipated his arrival at the same. But what would he come doing in her house anyway? Before Mina’s mind can go even further, she climbed off the bed –which was incredibly warm– and walked downstairs. Now that she wasn’t covered in a blanket, her body shook slightly because of the weather. Mina contemplated going back and grabbing her covers before answering the door, and then brushed it off because it was just plain rude. Not that she did care, but the newcomer could be somebody important after all.

When her hand twisted the doorknob, she was welcomed with the scent of ink and old paper. Mina knew only two people who smelt that way: her father and Do Kyungsoo. The latter seemed to just notice the buttons on his right. It was her first time seeing him dressed so casually in a simple graphic tee and grey fitted jeans, so she was surprised. Apparently, he was just as surprised because the school star student was sporting pajama silk pants that were way too big for her and an old sweater. But then thoughts of that evening came back rushing into her head and she wished she could dig a grave for herself right there and die. She tried as hard as she could to avoid him the past week, which was, fortunately, easier since it was exam week and they were too preoccupied with them than with each other, but then again trouble comes to her house quite literally. She felt awful for causing him that kind of pain, and if she weren’t such a prideful person she would’ve gladly let him take first place. But what’s done is done and she can’t change anything about it. Murmuring a soft ‘hello’, she took a step back to let him enter.

She noticed how he scanned everything from the scattered newspapers on the ground to the forgotten variety show that was playing on TV, and with a smile, he asked her where they should sit. Mina took a few seconds to compute what he had said, and with a slight wince, she scolded herself mentally for being so awkward. Biting back a cry for help, she guided him to the guest room hoping everything would go well. A crushing, awkward silence fell over them after they sat. Mina couldn’t just ask him why he was here, but she figured he won’t talk if she didn’t ask him first.

“You’re here.” Mina almost slapped herself; what was she thinking when she said that, it wasn’t like she was waiting for him or anything. Biting her lip, she forced herself to continue when Kyungsoo’s face remained impassive, maybe a bit nervous too, “I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened at her apology, “I actually came here to do that, you know, apologize.”

His body had visibly stiffened a bit more after uttering those words. His hands, once playing with the hanging thread from his jeans, lifted to rest on top of his thighs. After a deep breath, he finally started to talk, “What I said back then wasn’t true, well, partially.”

Mina was a bit relieved to hear that, but not completely. She still found herself guilty, and that made her so stressed especially now that he was in front of her. Her fingers searched for her toothpick, only to not find it. The pick was really useful in awkward, heavy moments like these.

“It’s not your fault.” Kyungsoo said again, looking so sure and confident Mina just had to believe him, “It’s my parents’ mistake for having high expectations of me when I can’t meet them, you have absolutely no hand in all of this. Plus, you were only trying to help but I pushed you out so harshly, but I didn’t feel normal back then, I-” He hesitated about telling her, his eyes now looking down, but Mina beat him to it with a sad smile.

“You have panic attacks.” Mina said, and Kyungsoo lifted his eyes surprisingly, “I have them too, so I know how it feels like. I understand.”

I understand, those words rung in Kyungsoo’s head, playing over and over again; it was the first time he’d heard them in months, probably in years. He felt at ease when he knew his competitor, no matter how unattainable she looked, suffers from the same problem; he wasn’t alone. It seemed as if the air of awkwardness dissipated when Mina talked, and a sense of familiarity took over. Kyungsoo returned the smile, which conveyed the same message: I’m glad I’m not alone.

“Thank you.” Kyungsoo straightened his back as he spoke, “If it weren’t for you and my friend, I wouldn’t be here, alive.”

Mina’s eyes started to water, and she rushed to wipe the falling tears with the back of her hand. Kyungsoo was talking with so much sincerity and gratefulness, and she finally felt she’s done something good in her life; saving a life already sounded so heavy on her lips. When she looked up –even though her vision was a bit blurry– Kyungsoo was in front of her, slightly bending his back.

“Are you okay?” His voice had a trace of worry in it as he spoke, “Do you need tissues?”

It was a bit overwhelming to him when Mina chuckled softly –it came out more like a swallowed cough, but still– and patted his arm in reassurance. He softened against her touch, and then sat next to her, careful not to knock out the vase put on the counter.

“I also came here to tell you that I’m not going to participate in the photography contest.” Mina sharply turned to him; that only meant one thing. “I felt it’s better for me to focus on the upcoming exams.”

“But exams are over.” Mina was confused, a bit frustrated also. If Kyungsoo quits, the only student she could pair up is Baekhyun and she doesn’t want that.

“No, it’s for a private boarding school application. They pick two students who rank the highest in their exams to study for free, and I want to leave, so bad.” He looked so desperate and Mina could guess why: it was his only hideout from his father.

“Oh, good luck then.” Mina grinned widely at him, “I hope you score first.”

Truthfully, she wanted him to stay and at least do the contest with her, and then leave. But if he wanted to succeed, he’d have to prepare well and she didn’t want to ruin it for him.

“I hope so too.” Kyungsoo grinned back at her.

The boy was ready to leave, grabbing his keys he left at the opposite couch, but Mina wanted to ask him one more question.

“That friend…Is it Byun Baekhyun?” Mina called before he could step out of the room.

Kyungsoo whipped his head around, a smile forming on his lips, “Yes. Yes, he is.”

Mina kept silence, and Kyungsoo took it as sign to keep talking, “He is an old childhood friend, and we just happened to meet again after years of separation. To be honest, I didn’t know it was him at first. He’s grown up so much, yet after a few conversations we reco