III. A THOUSAND YEARS Artist: Christina Perri

 

In my dream, the stars danced. In the hazy skyline of the night where everything is obscured except for the twinkling stars, some fog, maybe some satellites, like you always dubbed the midnight flights are. And then we would bicker like elementary students. Me being the realistic and genius type one, and you being he realistic yet the shallow type one. I have always missed your smile in the sense that I am starting to lose my grip in the reality that we have always planned. We decided to let go of the fantasies of an extraordinary relationship. Where you sweep me off my feet and give me the world and I would cry in your arms. Such things happens, on normal people. Normal people, such entities exist. And I am a jealous beast, because . I am not normal. We aren’t normal. Maybe not anymore. Not until the day you closed your eyes, left me alone. And then at retrospect, you did not leave.

 

You’re still here. And, I still love you. I still do.

 

I opened my eyes and the day is full. The sun is smiling back at me behind those blinds. Pushing off the covers away from my body, I sat at the end of my bed with my hair disheveled and my morning breath intact. I managed to stifle my yawn. An unbelievable sight. My limbs are tired from all the work I did last night. Even though I have no reason to continue on working there at our coffee shop, still I decided to be a rebel. Holding those trays with the use of only one arm and you are tasked to elevate it, to look proper and not disorganized, is such a punishment for a rebellious one like me. And might as well, a reward from you. I am the heir of the biggest company in the country and I am in your coffee shop. Taking up orders and holding up trays.

 

It is a bright sunny day with the winds dancing in the strands of my hair. It is a sick weather. It makes my entire skin dry. Summer is approaching and I am not ready to face that season again. Summer is like spring, only difference is that summer is hot and it digs your skin wanting to be felt. For some reason, it is like us. It pains me, but demanded it to be felt because I am compelled to feel it. I am compelled to feel your love even to the ends of my heart feels like shredding into pieces knowing that all your promises and the colors of those feelings are still there and I can feel it yet, I can’t see the one who makes it all possible.

 

I breathed in the dry air, because I just wanted to. It smells like dry leaves. Typically. I formed a weary smile on my face. Waiting for my bestfriend to come and pick me up. I miss you. I’m sorry I have no time to visit you. It is your fault that you did not inform me about the supplier’s deadline. More importantly, you did not tell me anything. Maybe there is no such thing to tell because you yourself does not even know.

 

Taeyeon’s car halted in front of me. My small friend opened the window with her classic grin and the sorry face of the late comer. She extended her arm from the driver’s seat and opened the door so that I can get in. Taeyeon is a lazy one. Unlike you, you will get out of the car and you will kiss me, then open the door for me. And the funny part is, Taeyeon is not you. She will never be.

 

“Please don’t kill me?” Taeyeon uttered her first sentence. Saying sorry is an overrated and overused sentence to those who make mistakes. Perhaps asking for compensation is easier. I punched Taeyeon in the arm causing the lunatic to roar in laughter.

 

“That’s better. Violence is better than killing.” She nodded her head then proceeded to drive east. I did not answer my bestfriend because my throat is dry. Or let’s just say I am tired of everything.

 

No specific reason. Just everything, you and, your ing unlucky faith. You and your bull smile that haunts me every day. You and your ty voice that soothes me to sleep every night and woke me in in the middle of it because I am not hearing it anymore. I can’t say that it is not a specific one because at the end of the day, I specified it. My life mainly revolves around you, so the no specificity of everything around me is the specificity that is you. You matters, anyone else doesn’t.

 

“Sica.” Taeyeon’s voice echoed.

 

“She has been reacting to medications recently. The doctors said that her hearing is heightened, she reacts. So talk to her.” Taeyeon albeit her cheery persona came out a little teary.

 

“I am talking to her Tae.” I smiled.

 

“Yes you are. That idiot only listens to you. Maybe that’s why no matter how much Sooyoung and Yoona are shouting at her last night, she did not react. She misses you. And I am glad you have settled that fiasco with the supplier.”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“I know.”

 

“Idiot.”

 

“I know.” Taeyeon, Aigoo Kim Taeyeon.

 

~~

 

Yoona opened the hospital door a little bit too dramatic. The sudden opening of it caused by hair to fly, what will happen if I ended up getting hit with that? Would I receive stitches?

 

“Hold your horses little deer!” Taeyeon blocked the incoming barrage of the door. I swooped in the middle with the feeling of excitement seeping through my heart. And I miss you little love. You look rather comfortable lying there.

 

“Hello Soo.” I greeted Sooyoung who has her back away from me. She is eating again. What kind of pig she is? A boar? More likely, a beast.

 

“Hello to you Jessica Kwon, the lost one. Where the hell did you go? For a week?”

 

“Business.” I replied sitting at the edge of the hospital bed. Sooyoung nodded and continued her meal.

 

“Unnie, let’s eat for the mean time, Taeyeon unnnie’s treat!” Yoona came rushing behind my back. I know the reason behind this, they are giving me time. Even though I have no luxury of forever, a minute or two is enough. 

 

And when Sooyoung joined Taeyeon and Yoona outside, I stared back at the figure in the hospital bed. For a week of absence is enough for me to notice the sudden ups and downs of the lines of the machine. It is beating rapidly. The butterflies started to get loose inside my stomach. I guess I am going crazy.

 

It is hard finding the restraint to conceal the inner desire of missing you, Kwon Yuri.

 

“I’m sorry baby. You did not pay the supplier with your last order. No worries, I have it all laid out.” I started the conversation with my unresponsive wife in the bed. Tracing the lines of her dry hands with mine, I realized that she has been here for a long time already.

 

Yuri, my ever beautiful wife of 3 years. The unlucky patron. The master of love, my eternity and my all. Ever since her accident 6 months ago, she has been in this state. Sleeping like a baby that she is and here I am, waiting for her to wake up just because. Her injuries are all healed up now, her smile lines that I have been missing is still hidden underneath. I miss her, and I know that she missed me too. I lingered a peck in Yuri’s forehead as I continue to squeeze her hand.

 

Why is it so hard to listen? Why does it have to be her? Yuri, I have never ever in my life asked you to buy me that ing piece of diamond ring. I’m yours and you are min