Chasing Her

Chapter 6

Truthfully, he misjudged her.

After seeing her at her lowest point, he immediately felt bad for all the times he thought badly of her just because Ah Reum was hurting. It never really crossed his mind that perhaps she was hurting, too. A feeling of guilt reigned in his mind when he recalled all those times he tried to make what Ah Reum wanted, come true. He was Ah Reum’s wishing star, but at the same time, he ruined another person’s chance at happiness.

Frankly, he, of all people, should’ve known how hard things were for Da Eun. Not only does the girl do nothing but study all the time for her parents that can care less, but she’s both her anchor and the boat, saving herself and yet drowning herself at the same time.

“You know,” he begun, “it’s okay not to be strong all the time.”

Da Eun didn’t say anything but instead buried her head deeper in his chest. She felt comforted in his arms. In fact, she felt as if all her concerns were melting away. Zitao was never able to make her feel secure, and Sehun’s embraces were strictly reserved for Ah Reum. Although sometimes she did manage to make him reconsider, still, his embraces never made her feel as if she was worth all the headaches. Even though she was his girlfriend, he tolerated Ah Reum more than he could tolerate her.

Yixing gently her back while her feeble arms desperately s around his neck. Yixing could tell without a doubt that Da Eun was shaking. She seemed to have hesitated when she wrapped her arms around his neck, but Yixing welcomed her without a single complaint. He understood that she needed someone to lean on right now, so doing this much wasn’t a problem to him. If he could help her in any way, he would. Even if she wanted him to stay with her until she’s done crying, he would. He could never leave her alone in her state. Who knows what she would do if he left her alone?

She looked up, her neck craned to the side to stare at his gentle eyes. “Why are you being so kind to me?” Her voice quivered slightly; embarrassment washed over her face like the waves on a beach, and seeing him gazing so intently at her made her want to take cover in his chest once more. “I-I mean…don’t you hate me?”

“Why would I?” he curiously asked, failing to find a reason why he would despise her despite her accusations. “There’s nothing to hate about you, Da Eun.” Yixing tried to convince her, but judging from her continuous lip biting and uneasiness, she wasn’t buying it.

Her self-confidence was a plant she worked hard for, watering it every single day in order to acquire everyone’s attention. It was supposed to tower above everything amidst the other flowers around it; it could serve as something they could admire and aspire to be like. She wanted their eyes on her; she wanted each and every single person to know that she can stand tall, but how could she do that when her self-confidence has withered? How can she assure anyone who asks her that she’s okay?

“I’m revolting,” she whispered, the words resonating in her hollow mind that’s on the verge of collapsing just like herself. “Because I like art, everyone around me assumes that my mind is such a beautiful place, and I smile because it’s not true. If they ever read my mind, they’ll find nothing but wrecked buildings, despairing thoughts, and dead trees.” Da Eun shook her head. “To say that they would cry is an understatement. It really is.”

Indeed, there’s nothing beautiful about her mind.

“You shouldn’t put yourself down like that.” Yixing sighed. “There’s nothing revolting about you. If anyone has said so otherwise, then don’t mind them. You’re an artist, right?”

She nodded.

In turn, Yixing smiled, a smile that Da Eun found so endearing. “Then paint your own picture. It’s your canvas. Don’t mind what others say,” Yixing encouraged, giving her a thumbs up.

He couldn’t have worded it another way.

“You’re too kind,” Da Eun opined. “No wonder Ah Reum’s so angry right now,” she mumbled, noticing the panic on his face as soon as she mentioned Ah Reum.

Yixing was afraid, to say the least, but if Ah Reum ever questioned him, he’d say the truth and explain to her that nothing happened between them. All he was doing was being a good Samaritan that looked out for others when they needed it. He did the same for her, so he hoped for nothing but her understanding his situation.

He looked around hoping to find Ah Reum when a familiar ringtone resounded in his ears. The ringtone had a sweet, calming sound that reminded him too much of Ah Reum. He had that ringtone set especially for her to show her how special she is to him even if she didn’t know that herself. He excitedly fished his pocket in search of his phone, as if he was an explorer that’s soon to discover something amazing. Yixing didn’t pay attention to the nasty look the girl in front of him was giving him, but it sure did terrify him when a light groan escaped her lips.

Yixing’s mood brightened. It was indeed Ah Reum calling him! He had so many questions to ask her and so many things to tell her. He wanted to rant about how his three weeks without her made him feel empty inside; how not being able to see her smile made him want to FaceTime her just so he could see her; how he desired to make her the happiest person in the world, but that was impossible because he’d be the happiest person in the entire universe for having her by his side.

His thumb neared the answer button.

Yixing could already imagine hearing her voice and remembering one of the many reasons why he loved Park Ah Reum in the first place- his Jien Yi.

Da Eun placed both of her hands on his cheeks. She felt him tense in her grasp. Da Eun simply grinned at that as she lessened the distance between them. Their lips connected almost immediately; his soft lips were on hers. Da Eun felt herself smiling into the kiss even if he didn’t respond to her.

His lips felt like paradise. The moment her lips brushed against his, fireworks scattered off in her mind, and she soared through it with wings she never knew she had. She couldn’t have imagined her first kiss any other way.

At this moment, she felt victorious. Da Eun knew Ah Reum would be watching, and she felt no guilt for using Yixing as a pawn in her game. Rage blinded her. Sehun used her the same way, so why not avenge her pride and self-confidence by doing the same thing? She wanted Ah Reum to feel the same way she did. Even if Sehun did apologize, nothing changed. She still felt the same way.

Da Eun mentally cheered as she separated from Yixing. She had cleared her objective. Ah Reum had run away. Da Eun felt like celebrating even though she had become the bad guy. Karma would get to her eventually, but for now, she’ll sit back and enjoy the drama between the three.

“What was that?” Yixing asked, the kindness in his voice no longer present. “Why did you do that?” He was asking not to know, but to try and understand her.

Da Eun had a few cards up her sleeve, and knowing how perceptive guys like Yixing can get, she made her mind to use this specific one: tears. If Ah Reum’s tears managed to make her feel upset for her, then it undoubtedly worked. She convinced herself not to smirk or else everything will go haywire. She would have to use her acting skills to make this work.

In order to get back at Sehun, she needed to hurt Ah Reum.

There was no plan B.

This was it.

The tears flooded from eyes much easier than she thought they would. She assumed it’d been because of the events of earlier, but the reason why was none of her concerns right now. She needed to make her pain look believable. Otherwise, this whole thing would’ve been pointless.

Da Eun stepped away from him as she dejectedly covered her face. Her fingers were trembling as she did so. “I-I’m sorry,” she spoke, her voice unstable, “I just—I didn’t mean to—Do you hate me now?” She peered through the gaps in her fingers to observe his expression that didn’t change that much. The frustration was growing within her. Had it not worked?

Yixing sighed while he raked his hair back, slumped his shoulders, and leaned against the table. “I’m not mad,” he said. “I understand your dilemma, Da Eun. Trust me. I do. If someone I loved stepped on my feelings, I would be upset as well, but this isn’t a feasible solution to your problems.”

Da Eun couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could he of all people know what she’s going through? It’s not like he was dating Ah Reum, and she dumped him. In fact, the closest he’s gotten to ‘dating’ Ah Reum was right at this moment, and he blew it. He could’ve pulled away, smacked her hand away, given her a weird look, or excuse himself to take the phone call, but he didn’t. She could tell all the could haves will bother him.

Da Eun’s experiences with relationships may have been bad, but she can detect love right away. Ah Reum’s eyes held that emotion until she broke it with the shattered pieces of her own heart, but what can Da Eun say other than, “A victory is another’s loss?”

“You do?” Da Eun hesitantly whispered, fear instilled in her voice. “You do?” she repeated, anger evident in her tone. She would go livid at this point.

Yixing reluctantly nodded. “You’re hurt right now, and I know you’re willing yourself not to smash everything in your way. You got hurt way too much but inflicting that same kind of damage to the things and people around you won’t be able to relieve the tension you feel.”

Da Eun scoffed. “You don’t get it.”

There was a fury in his eyes that indicated for her not to pry into it his personal affairs anymore and claim that he doesn’t feel the same way she does, but since when did Da Eun ever listen?

“No, I do get it,” he insisted.

She’d done it. Yixing had snapped.

He was never the type to yell at someone unless the situation required it. He was what everyone deemed as too nice or too pure for this world. However, it was all nonsense to his ears. They all act as if he’s a godsend when he’s just a normal teenage boy who’s desperately in love with someone who looks at his friend as if he’s a hot, summer day.

“Stop thinking you’re different from others. Just because you’re pitiful does not make anyone’s circumstances any less painful than yours.”

This time, she stayed silent, her gaze on the floor. There were still feelings of anger prevalent in her mind, but she immediately silenced them.

Her frustration was unraveling like a thread to the wrong person. Yixing was being the nice person that he was, and the brutal reminder that his compassionate actions toward her were simply him being kind had wounded her. She took it as a sign of reality telling her that she’s no match for Ah Reum. As a result, she let her anger get in the way of everything.

Da Eun was deeply embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she managed to choke out.

His expression didn’t change. He no longer looked at her with kindness nor sympathy. Yixing looked at her as if she was a monster– as if she was a deformity. Da Eun couldn’t find it within herself to leave. Her legs were rooted to the ground, just like her withered flower of self-confidence.

“You’ll find the one you’re looking for eventually, Da Eun,” Yixing said, the same coldness in his tone. “I don’t know why you did what you did, but it’s probably for the best that you and Sehun aren’t together anymore. What you did with me showed the extent of your feelings, and if you were to ask me, your feelings for him weren’t that strong.”

He briefly nodded to her before making his way to the door. Yixing didn’t spare her another glance. It was as if staring at her would make him blind, and he wasn’t going to take any chances.

Yixing was already gone by the time his words managed to make sense in her head. She wished to tell him that what he’s saying isn’t true and that she did so because she was so angry and she needed nothing but someone by her side to listen to her when the whole world shut her out, but amidst the shaking and her blurred vision, Da Eun just shook her head, clutched her bag tighter, and decided to leave as well.

She hesitantly dragged her feet as she neared the door. Da Eun halted the second she saw her reflection. She was a wreck. Her tear-stained face was barely noticeable, but her red, puffy eyes garnered the attention of the passersby that could not help but examine and judge her. They would whistle as if she was a dog and stare her down like she’s a mannequin that’s there for all the world to see. Those actions were a slap in the face.

At times like these, she really envied Ah Reum. While Ah Reum managed to look as amazing as ever, it wasn’t the same for her. Ah Reum can come to school looking as if she had a bawling marathon the night before and she would still look one hundred times better than her.

Da Eun groaned. Here it was again. She was comparing herself to Ah Reum yet again.

All this time she blamed Sehun for crushing her self-confidence, but it’s her that forgets to tend to it. At the sight of someone who looks way better than her, she retreats to a corner and sobs because even if she tries her hardest, she can never be good enough. Not only that but she steps on herself too often. It’s her own fault for being the roadblock to her happiness. She can’t keep putting the blame on anyone for her failures.

So yeah, Sehun had hurt her.

She saw an opportunity and ran to take it, and in turn, she had hurt Ah Reum.

She hurt Yixing as well.

Even though her actions were fueled by her rage, in the end, she’s no different from Sehun. They’re both cowards.

While Sehun was too afraid to confess his feelings for Ah Reum, she was too afraid to tell Zitao that she still loved him and would continue to love him despite the pain he caused her. She couldn’t even tell Sehun to stay either.

How ironic. All the things she hated, she became.

Da Eun saw far too many melodramas when she was a kid, so seeing those clingy girls that can never tell when it’s over annoyed her to great lengths, yet that’s what she had become.

No wonder Yixing’s words had hit her hard. He spoke of nothing but the truth.

It’s okay. I’ll be okay soon.

…

Seulgi had a headache. They had school tomorrow, and as far as she recalled, she doesn’t remember adding ‘shopping with Yerim and Sooyoung’ to her agenda. She’d honestly rather spend her time studying for their upcoming tests than walk around the shopping district with two rather fussy individuals that just can’t make their mind up.

The thought of bailing on them came to her mind, but she wasn’t that cruel. It’s just that hanging out with them made her miss Ah Reum even more.

Oh, how Seulgi wished Ah Reum would just come home.

Sooyoung stretched her arms out and glanced at Seulgi, who, in turn, crossed her arms. At Seulgi’s response, Sooyoung frowned and furrowed her brows before she resumed her browsing.

Yerim and Sooyoung have been browsing each store without buying a thing for hours now, and Seulgi had lost the will to count after the second hour passed. All she did was sit or stand while they cruised through the store, headed to the next one, and did the same thing. She shouldn’t be tired, but all this shopping was draining her energy.

"I really miss Ah Reum,” Yerim voiced out, her gaze on the rack of clothes. Yerim didn’t have to look up to know that the other two agreed with her. She just knew.

Seulgi sat down on a free chair and placed her right leg over her left before unlocking her phone to check the first and last email Ah Reum sent. While Seulgi assumed she would feel contempt at Ah Reum for only sending one email, she was glad Ah Reum sent one at all. She would later have to thank Yixing for convincing her.

“Sooo,” Sooyoung drawled, “what’s the plan?”

Yerim turned to face them with no item in her hand. “Plan for what?” she curiously asked as she scurried to the next shelf in search of something to buy. Yerim wasn’t necessarily looking for something to purchase. Shopping helped her get her mind off of things, and she believed it would work this time as it always did before.

“She’s trying to get Ah Reum and Yixing to go out,” Seulgi apathetically explained while she twirled her hair. It was a bad habit of Seulgi’s she would have to remember to fix.

Sooyoung grinned as wide as the Cheshire cat at Seulgi’s wittiness. “We should come up with a pl-”

“Just let them be,” Seulgi interrupted as if on cue. “They’ll find a way.”

Sooyoung huffed before nodding.

She thought of arguing against Seulgi, but she figured she’d lose if she did so. She recalled the last time someone argued with Seulgi, and although Luhan put up a good fight, Seulgi won in the end. Sooyoung felt horrified for being caught in the middle of a battle between an ice queen and a boy who wasn’t afraid of play