~ "Silence will Never Answer Questions Unheard" ~

  

“Why do you hang out with her?” You heard the protest the moment you opened the car door and grabbed your guitar, heading towards the dorm.

You sang the chorus and listened happily as Seungri took off with the first verse, a song you had written many years ago and couldn’t bring yourself to rid of. Of course it was all written to be sung, however with a rap verse it sounded much more painful and real, bringing the lyrics to life with the sound of a voice. You couldn’t be any more proud, and as Seungri finished the line, you could tell that he thought the same.

“You must have been working hard on this one” he stated in between short breaths, causing a smile to quickly take your features.

“Of course, we are going to have the number one song without a doubt!” You quickly cheered, playing the back track to listen to it all together.

Of course he would never understand just how empty you felt when listening to it, how many painful memories the song had brought back. You wrote only because you didn’t know what else to do when you lost your best friend, and now it was turning into a precious memory. This song would always mean so much more to you, but you would never give Jiyong the satisfaction of knowing just how badly you were hurt by him.

“We are having a get together tonight, you should come” his voice suddenly pulled you from your thoughts.

“I don’t think Jiyo-”

“He won’t know you’re there until he’s already drunk so who cares?” He knew already before you spoke the name who you were concerned about.

Nodding a few times, you wondered if you were really ready to face the man who hurt you so much. You knew that eventually you would have to since you’ve been signed with one of s, but was today really the right day for it? It had been nearly nine years since the whole thing began, and you still didn’t have the courage to face him. You didn’t think that you ever would have that courage.

“I’ll pick you up around ten okay? See you then!” He didn’t leave you time to argue as he left the studio, happily keeping your guitar as hostage, knowing you wouldn’t come unless he forced you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Woah you actually look hot underneath the sweatpants and hoodies” Seungri joked as he opened the passenger door and allowed you to enter, him quickly going to the driver’s seat and starting down the road.

You dressed according to what Seungri told you, a nice cocktail dress that wasn’t to flashy yet made the eyes wonder. The black and gold dress stopped at your mid thigh, and the top flashed just enough, but not enough for a full imagery of imagination. Your heels clung tightly to your ankles, and the golden lace wrapped softly along your lower calf. Jewelry was at a minimum, only wearing earrings and once short stubby necklace and your hair was left down to give the angle of your face a stronger line.

“Stop staring” you playfully slapped the starring male who was probably more alarmed that you actually listened to him rather than what you looked like.

“I can’t help it” he admitted with a nervous chuckle, making your head shake slightly before finally arriving at the dorm, several cars parked along the side to show it was a much larger party than what he had said it would be. “Ready?” He asked sweetly, offering his hand as he opened your door.

“No” you admitted, yet you took the offered hand and left the car, leaving your fears behind you.

~*~*~ His POV ~*~*~

“Hyung this party is crazy” Daesung spoke however his words were nothing but blurs as I shot back yet another glass. “You’re drinking way too much Hyung” yet the words couldn’t be focused on for I knew well who was going to arrive at any time.

Jiyong was suspicious all day since Seungri had been quiet about the party he himself was throwing, that he had a guest coming and one in which wouldn’t entirely be welcomed. Since there was only one person on this planet that Jiyong couldn’t stand, it was easy to put the clues together. ___ was coming, and he wasn’t ready to make amends with the past, not so easily at least.

“Hey everyone” a familiar voice sounded through the halls bringing suspicious eyes up from the glass for the first time tonight.

As always, she was beautiful and every eye fell upon her in the room, her smile being bright enough to be contagious. She always looked stunning in a dress, not only because she rarely dressed in such a way, but also because her body would fit just about anything she threw on. It was amazing, just how perfect this girl was, yet he allowed her to leave his life without an ounce of a fight. Boy did he mess up.

“Why don’t you go talk to her?” Seung’s voice made me jump as I caught myself being one of the few that were still staring at her.

“I can’t” I expressed with a heavy sigh, leaning myself into the comfort of the large couch “she hates me.”

~*~*~ Your POV ~*~*~

“Told you he’d be drunk” you gasped as Seungri quickly slid you a glass filled with a pink liquid, your eyes falling to the glass.

“Yeah I’d say” you actually hated seeing him in this stage, for not only did he not care about himself, but he also didn’t care about anyone near him. There he was flirting with woman left and right while you could do nothing but watch helplessly. Of course it was wrong to be jealous, but you didn’t care at the moment as the alcohol churned at your tongue too quickly for you to taste.

“Are you going to tell me what happened between you two yet?” The question was asked a hundred times by now and normally you would ignore it, but tonight, you didn’t care about anyones reputation, he was doing a fine job of trashing it himself.

“We went to school together, we were best friends I guess” you began, rolling your eyes at the thought of it “however when his fame started to go up, Jiyong began to feel embarrassed to hangout with me.” You could remember the exact quote he said.

‘You’re not proper at all, you don’t care what people think… but I do. I care, my career depends on it.’

“So he decided that we shouldn’t hang out anymore. It’s been five years” you continued to speak, downing the glass within a few seconds and reaching out for more, Seungri happily applying.

‘We can’t be seen in a relationship together, my fans won’t accept it. You have to at least pretend in front of the camera’s. I’m begging you not to make me choose.’

‘And if I make you choose?’

It was a question that you wished you had never asked, for you never would have dreamed what his choice would have been. You stood beside him for nearly fifteen years, defending him when other students would make fun of his dreams. You were so popular, everyone thought so highly of you, yet you stood beside the goof ball who often did embarrassing things like suddenly singing in the middle of lunch, or rapped just about anything, making you lose your credibility.

Of course you never did mind, for you knew that Jiyong was going to make it far, and here you were staring at him with his fame in your face. Worse was that you couldn’t even be mad about the situation, for you were selfish to make him choose, you should have just tried to meet him in the middle, staying loyally at his side. You lost your first love, first boyfriend, and bestfriend in an instant because you were too angry to express your opinion that day.

“Oh look who’s here” his voice sent a shiver down your spine as you turned around, finding a very drunk Jiyong standing there.

“Jiyong” you were trying to be polite as a nod came to your head, a gesture of respect however you were confused when anger suddenly claimed his features.

“I’m Oppa” his breath was heavily laced and his swaying posture provided enough information to say that he was wasted.

“Used to be Oppa” you quickly corrected, your own feelings unable to be composed thanks to the drinks you had previously. “Used to be Jigiya, Agi, Baby, Love” you didn’t need to look at him, you could only imagine how angry you were making him but you didn’t care. He broke your heart, destroyed you without a single thought, it was his turn to feel some of the pain you have been baring. “Now, you are just Jiyong.”

“Just Jiyong huh?” His voice was venom to your ears as you finally adjusted your gaze to stare directly at him.  “Who actually sat and watched all of your stupid movies with you when you were bored?” Your cheeks turned an immediate pink as his voice grew louder. “Who went out of his way to get you a birthday present that you had been asking for all year?” His voice was growing impossibly louder, every eye at the party quickly casting in your direction. “Who stayed up all night with you when you found out about your father cheating!?”

“Kwon Jiyong!” You yelled loud enough for the name to echo off of the walls, his eyes growing large at your sudden burst of anger. You couldn’t help the tear that suddenly escaped as you felt it drip down your jawline and to the floor. “Just Kwon Jiyong” you whispered, giving him the answer he was so desperate to hear seconds before.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey” the voice sounded defeated yet you would always be able to recognize, regardless of how unusual it sounded at the moment.

“Hey” you responded for what reason you don’t know, perhaps it was a natural response?

“Can I sit with you?” The question was so small, but yet you could feel the tears welled up within your eyes as you nod anyways, scooting down a bit so that he would have room to sit comfortably.

It was only then did your eyes shift from the concrete on the stairs over towards the male who held the power to destroy you at any given moment. His hair was a blonde mess atop of his head, and his eyes seemed to be swollen. Guess you weren’t the only one couldn’t sleep very well the last few days. It was then did his gaze go towards you, your eyes quickly averting back towards the ground below you.

“I’m sorry about the other night. I was really drunk…” His words were slow to come, which meant that he must have had a lot on his mind. You hated that you knew him so well.

“It’s okay” you responded, however it was just another lie that you were telling him.

“Liar” you forgot that he was just as good as reading you, your teeth digging their way into your bottom lip. “You can’t even look at me.”

He was absolutely right about that, you couldn’t look at him without feeling hurt, it was even painful to sit beside him. You had to brave as you drew in a short breath before looking in his direction once more. For the first time in many years, your eyes had met and just like so many years ago, your heart responded immediately. “I’m looking at you now” your voice betrayed you as nothing more than a whisper was audible.

“Yes you are” his voice was just as low, a whisper to say the least however you couldn’t be any more aware of how close he was. You could smell his scent, feel his heat radiate from the short distance, making you want to melt into his embrace, but you had to be strong. “I miss you” his words were sincere as his eyes never left yours.

“I miss you too” you admitted, knowing the tears had already escaped but this time not caring about being brave “but we both know that…”

You couldn’t breathe as your body was suddenly set ablaze by a unmanageable fire, your eyes falling to an immediate close. You couldn’t move, for you were terrified that by the slightest movement, you would wake up and the dream would come to an end. You could feel your lips manipulating his pattern perfectly as they did before, however you felt cold when he suddenly pulled away, this time his eyes drifting towards the ground.

“Why do you miss me?” he asked suddenly, making your cheeks flush a bright red, for this was something you asked yourself almost everyday yet could never find the answer to it.

“Honestly?” You asked which brought his attention towards you which made your cheeks flush even brighter “because I love you and don’t know how to properly accept the fact that you’re gone.”

“I’m sitting right here, I’m not gone” he quickly countered, inching himself closer towards you until his head could rest perfectly on your shoulder, his hands reaching for yours until his fingers were interlaced and entangled in your own fingers. “I do love you though, probably always will. You were my everything.”

You knew how he felt and could feel the tears starting once more as you stared at his hand in yours. It had been five years since you last felt his loving touch and even after all those years, he still managed to make your heart race with a simple cheesy phrase. You knew that he was always going to be the man you loved most, but there was just some things that couldn’t be forgotten, like the fact that he was embarrassed by you.

“Jiyong…” you whispered softly, causing his body to stiffen.

“Just a little longer” he pleaded, his hands grip tightening around yours “just let me hold you a little longer…”

~*~*~ His POV ~*~*~

‘Jiyong’ the sound of my own name made me sick to my stomach because I knew the words that would be coming next. I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, and I certainly didn’t deserve being happy with her, and so I couldn’t even ask her to stay with me for more than a few moment. Right now though, I needed to breathe in her scent, needed her comfort and love, needed to be blind to the fact that she’d eventually be out of my life again and that I would no longer be able to hold her hand like this.

He should have ran after her instead of feeding his ego assuming she would run back to him, should have told her everything he felt before letting his anger get to him. Now she was dating his youngest band mate and was able to smile with someone who truly accepted her, which he would eventually have to learn to accept. Her happiness was the most important thing to him, and if she found someone else to make her smile, he wouldn’t get in her way, but would always protect her from the sidelines.

“Jiyong” she spoke again causing my heart to break into pieces as I finally managed the courage to lift my head and look at her. “You love me right?”

The question was like a stab to the heart as I nodded my answer “I do, always have” there was no point in lying to her anymore, she deserved to know everything.

“I understand now that your career is important, and I will try to be the girl who you are proud to stand beside” her words sliced through me as I had to stop them, placing my hand over her lips.

“I don’t need you to change” I admitted as I stared into her eyes, seeing the tears that she was fighting “I just need you to stand beside me.”

~*~*~ Your POV ~*~*~

“I can do that” your heart was racing as you mumbled into his hand, surprised when his lips took over and crashed into yours.

You loved how perfectly your lips matched one another, loved it even more when he was being shy with the kiss and not going for the whole thing. It gave you the chance to push the kiss further which he eagerly accepted without much thought. This was right, it always felt right when you were in his arms, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Awe look, the lovebirds are back together” Seungri suddenly stated which caused you both to blush hard as you pulled away from one another.

“Not yet” Jiyong quickly corrected before moving towards his knees, keeping your hands in his head “Will you come back to me and stay mine forever?”

“Of course” you quickly agreed while giving his hands a soft squeeze, alarmed when people began to clap and the entire band was standing there watching the scene play out.