Hoseok really just shouldn't have opened his mouth when he said, "oh my god, just kiss already."

Taehyung was handing off Jungkook's shoulder, blowing raspberries into his neck and making the younger squirm with muffled giggles. Taehyung had lifted his head slowly and taken note of Hoseok sitting on the opposite couch of the waiting room , his bright orange hair shining offensively in the artificial lighting. He was watching them with a mix of a smile and a grossed out frown and Taehyung knew he was just trying to get a rise out of them. He knew this, but it still worked him up.  

"Kiss Jungkook?" Taehyung had said, miming gagging up his lunch onto the floor. "No way, I don't like men."

Jungkook laughed and they disentangled from each other, but the seed was planted, and Taehyung had an awful habit of watering weeds that he should've ripped from the earth.

Taehyung thought about it more than was strictly necessary or appropriate. He didn’t think about kissing Jungkook (though the thought wormed it's way in there when he let his guard down) but instead of how to piss Hoseok off beyond belief. Truthfully Taehyung was still a little sore about the whole thing, though he couldn't quite fathom why, and he decided after much contemplating that he wanted to see Hoseok squirm this time.  

So after their fifth shot of soju, Taehyung decides to bring it up. "So I've got this idea right," he starts, and Jungkook groans immediately. "No, no listen. Trust me this one's a killer."

They're sitting cross legged facing each other, hunkered down on Jungkook's bed. After a tough day of practice, they had both decided that getting blind drunk was the only way to remedy their sorrows.  

Jungkook eyes him suspiciously. "You said that about The Incident." Jungkook takes care to inform him that it's capitalized.    

"We don't talk about that," Taehyung interrupts hastily. "And anyway this one won't involve any grievous injuries or anything. Probably."

Jungkook sighs and downs another shot. "Fine. Hit me."

Taehyung shoots up in triumph. "Okay, so you know the other day Hoseok was joking about how we should just kiss already?"

"… Yes?"

"So what if we pretended to be dating."

Jungkook downs another shot. "Um," he says. "What?"

"Hear me out, friend." Taehyung raises his hands placatingly, and when Jungkook doesn't run away he figures it safe to continue. "Thinking about it logically, if we tried to convince Hoseok that we were in a daring an illicit relationship, he would probably believe us right? I mean we're practically hanging off each other twenty-four seven already so if we just," Taehyung makes a swooshing motion with his hands, "fanned the flames a bit, I think we could totally convince him that we were dating for real."  

"Okay," Jungkook says. He stares at Taehyung with a hard to read expression. "Okay, but why?"

Taehyung shakes his head in disappointment. "Jungkook, my naïve dongsaeng. Because it would be funny."

"Hyung, you're kind of ed up, you know that right?"

Taehyung huffs and pushes at Jungkook's shoulder a little harder than what would be considered a friendly shove. "But think of the comedy value."

Jungkook scratches at the beginnings of stubble on his chin. He's silent for almost for whole minute before asking, "What am I gonna get out of this?"

"s and giggles."

Jungkook is sold.

Later, Jungkook will blame it on the copious amount of shots that he'd downed in a short amount of time because of Taehyung's antics, when he says " it, let's do it."