"Can you guys explained me what is just going on?" asked Myungsoo right after we get into the car.
I shook my head. "I don't know."
I can see Myungsoo looking at Fei. "Do not ask me baby. I don't know too."
"Are you sure Fei yah?" asked him again.
"I don’t have any idea what's going on with her today. It is something that she never told me probably," said Fei. I can see her face also puzzled.
"Coulrophobia*?" asked me.
"I am not sure, Junmyeon ah."
"And what is that?" asked Myungsoo puzzled.
"Phobia of clowns," said Fei weakly.
I can see Myungsoo looks surprised.
"Can you make her meet my hyung Fei?" asked me carefully.
"Why your hyung?" asked Myungsoo.
"Junmyeon hyung is a psychiatrist," said Fei.
"Ah..."
She shook her head. "I don't know."
"Can you please tell me what is really going on with her?" asked me hopefully.
She shook her head again. "I can't Junmyeon ah. I can't. I promised to her." She buried her head on her hands. She is crying. 
I can see Myungsoo pulled her to his embrace. Trying to soothing her. I can feel Fei also suffer. Suffer because she is probably the only that know what's going on with Nara but she have to keep it by herself. Because of the promise that she made. I feel sorry for her too.

***

"I'm home..."
"Ah Suho. You are home...," said a voice. It's Jongdae, Minseok husband.
"Ah Jongdae...." Why is he here?
"I thought you are not going home," answered Minseok.
"I thought too," said me then plopping on the couch.
"You need something Suho?" asked Jongdae.
I shook my head. "No, thanks Jongdae."
"Alright. I am going to bed baby," said Jongdae to Minseok.
"I'll be there in a minute," said Minseok.

Minseok join me on the couch. He hand me a can of beer. I take that and gulp it. Yes, I need this.

"I thought you are not coming home so I told Jongdae and my kids to come."
"It's okay..."
"How was your date?" asked him.
"Should you joined with your husband?" asked me back. I still need time to digest all of this.
He shook his head. "I think my brother need attention more than my husband now. So how was it?" 
I sighed. "Everything was perfect, until...." I hang my word.
"Until?"
"Coulrophobia."
"Phobia of clowns?"
I nod my head.
"Who? Nara?"
"Ya hyung! Who do you think?!" I’m bursting out.
Minseok flinched a bit.
"She is fine right now but at that time she was scared...."
Minseok paid his attention to me.
"I was scared seeing her scared like that. I can’t do anything hyung. She doesn't let me touch her. I am so sad seeing her. She is suffering, alone, and I can't even help her...."
"Is she seeing psychiatrist? Or psychologist probably."
"I don't know..." I shook my head. "Can you help her hyung?"
"I will be glad to help her. But the question is, is she wants to be helped?"
Yes, that was the most important thing.

***

"What should I do Yixing ah?" asked me to him.

I told him what exactly happen yesterday. Yes, from the beginning until the end. Since my house is a little bit crowded, I decided to crash on Yixing place this early morning. I can't sleep last night.

He let out a yawn. "What do you expect me to do? I am not awake yet," said him.
Ah jeez Yixing.
"Look, let me sleep for another two hour, okay? I am probably already awake," said him then going back again to his room.
I sighed. Indeed, Yixing.

After two hours, as he said, he woke up. I mean he really wake up now. I even already buy sandwich and coffee for him. This is for you, Yixing.

"Jeez Junmyeon. Are you really dying for bribing me with these?" said him while looking at the meals that I buy.
"Yes I am Yixing ah."
He is unwrapping the sandwich. "So, what do you expect me to say?"
"Help me."
"The hell. How come I help you?"
I shook my head. "I don't know too."
"Listen, the key is on her. If, at least, she told her secret to you, you're going to know how to help her."
"Fei knows," said me.
"And what do you expect from me? Get her drunk to know? If you asked me to do that just forget about it. I don't want to be killed by her boyfriend."
"That's a good idea by the way," said me suddenly.
"The idea that I am killed by her boyfriend?"
"No, the idea about make her drunk," said me then take out my phone.

"Hello? Myungsoo ssi?"
"Who is it?"
"It's Junmyeon."
"Ah...."
Jeez. Did he remember that we exchange number yesterday?
"Can I help you?"
"Do you mind to give me a favor?"
"What is it?"
"About Nara.... "

***

We are here, on a tteokpokki stall nearby Fei place. I have told Myungsoo about my plan. It seems like he agree with that. Even though he have to sacrifice his girlfriend. He said that he also feels sad seeing Nara suffering like couple days ago. If he can do something to help her, he will do it. And this is one of it.

I am holding myself for not getting too drunk but hey, I don't have any idea that Fei can drink very well. Even Myungsoo surprised.

"So Fei....." I started carefully while Myungsoo poured her drink.
"Why??" asked her. Well she is totally drunk. I glance to Myungsoo. He nod his head. This better finished faster. I am really sorry Fei.
"What's wrong with Nara?"
"Why are you asking meee? Just asked heeeerr!"
"I can't Fei yah. It's only you that know."
She chuckled then pointing her finger to herself. "Off course! It's only me that know. I am like a dessssperate person."
What is the thing that makes her desperate?
"You, Kim Junmyeon, don't know anything about Nara. My Nara. My lovely Nara...."
I looked at her. Anticipating what she is going to say.
She is starting to sob.
Myungsoo put his arm on her shoulder. "If it's make you uncomfortable it's okay though," said him.
Fei shook his head. "My Nara is verry brave. She is verry strong. I never find someone as strong ss her."
"Why is she strong?"
"She is fighting with herself most of the time. She is always winning the fight before...."
"Before?"
She pointed her finger to me. Yes, me. "She met you, Kim Junmyeon."
Me?
"She.... Knows that you are dying to touch her. So.... She is also dying with herself."
"I never want touch her."
"You are the worst liar that I ever met. I have told you! Do not touch her Junmyeon ah!" She slapped the table.
Myungsoo and I frightened.