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[Rei]

He had slept the night over my grandparents’ house, and we set off the way back home after breakfast. I knew that it was too good to be true for me to have one day off from being a Kawaguchi. I didn’t want to leave so soon, but it’s either that or he continues to hover around my space.

Now that we’re heading back, might as well prepare myself for the worst that is yet to come. Like facing my grandmother, then getting down to business to finding out who the culprit is, and the rest of returning to the reality .

Returning from Silver Creek with him as my supposedly-assigned bodyguard, was rather annoying than being pleased. I seriously had thought for once that everything would be okay after what happened in the past week. But from the moment I found out about my parents’ death and the reversal rejection, I just lost it.

When will all these madness ends? I mean, I don’t mind fighting the bad guys, but when it involves lying and losing someone I cherish – there’s a limit to everything.

I still can’t believe that my grandmother had watched me go through all the misery in the past 9 years. What was she trying to achieve?

Thinking back, that woman has always been around, yes – however, when it comes to pulling me out of my torturous mind, she was never there. The first time I was on the edge of succumbing into my darkness, Miyu pulled me out. The second time I nearly detonate myself, Darius rescued me. Now, I am just walking on eggshell, wondering if it’ll be my last and no coming back as to what it was once.

Unconsciously knowing, everyone around me has been trying to save me, and yet – I continue to push them away. What-the-hell is wrong with me?

“What are you thinking?” His voice calms the riot in my head. Yet, I couldn’t keep the frown on my face away.

At first, I was going to ignore him, but I remember how persistent and annoying he can be if he doesn’t get what he wants. “Ways to get away from you.” I grumbled.

“Why?” He asked simply.

Huffing in irritation, I responded in the way I know how. Hurting people and pushing them away. “Because you’re suffocating me.” 

Silence loomed in the car like dark clouds hovering over us. The only noise that ease the tension by a fraction is the music coming from the radio.

“What happened between us in the past week didn’t mean anything to you?” His question cut through the silence.

When it comes to protecting myself, this is what I do best. “Was it supposed to mean something? I mean, I was just being around you so you could get well. But looking at you now, you look better and healthier than the first time I saw you. So, I guess my job is done. And that means I can go wherever I want to.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see how he clenched and unclenched his fist against the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white every now and then. Every word that comes out of my mouth are meant to hurt and push him away.

The next question coming from me, made him look at me as if I had grown another head. “Don’t you have the second chance at mate thing?”

“Where are – you getting this ridiculous idea? And, no, we don’t. Our Moon Goddess only granted us one mate. We have to cherish them, care, love, and would die for them.” He said the last part with confidence.

I scoffed “That doesn’t sound like something you’d do.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” If he ever sound offended, this was one of the moment.

“Oh, you know exactly what I mean.” I shot back, my tone clipped.

Sighing exasperatedly, he glanced between the road and me “That was 3 years ago, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry.”

Taking a sharp inhale, I turn to face him “Well, sorry doesn’t turn back time and take back the things we’ve said and done.”

Pinching his brows together, his eyes glared on the road “What are you talking about?” Pulling the car up on the side of the road, he turns to look at me “Does this have something to do with the conversation you had with Nala?”

Grunting silently, “Just drive.” Was all I said, looking away.

“No, I won’t! Not until you tell me what the hell is going on with you.” His voice low “You keep going around in circle, pushing, and pulling. I can’t understand what it is that you want.”

Rolling my eyes away as the agitation rolls in “I don’t want what you want.”

With a tired sigh, his attention was back on the road, nodding his head “Okay,” He uttered, surprising me. “I’ll leave you alone after we get home.” As much as I tried to find any underlying tone behind that statement, unfortunately, there’s was nothing.

“I don’t want to fight with you anymore, Rei.” He said softly while pulling the handbrake down, steering the wheel back on the road “I’ll wait for you for as long, as I can. But, you should know that everyone has their limit.”

Limit. There it is again. I was just thinking about it not so long ago. 

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We arrived back home at nearly 3 in the afternoon. We made a stop a few times, either to fill up the gas or to eat.

Like he had said, as soon as he dropped me off at home, he left. Deep down, it hurts to watch him walk away without so much of second glance, but I guess this is better for us. So, it’d be easier for me to not choose either one.

I can’t accept him back and lose someone. Or protect that someone and lose him. As much as he’s broken my heart, I’m not about to be the one to break his too. Even though this situation is hurting us as well, but it’s not that big of a deal – at least, to me anyway.

Holding my breath as I walk inside the house, I was prepared to get an earful of scolding, but nothing. Instead, I felt a body crushed into mine, pulling me closer and tighter – as if, afraid of losing me.

Darius was standing before me in the entrance hall, smiling down at me. I broke down again, I’m starting to lose count at how much I’ve cried this week.

The floral scent my grandmother had on really brought me home, I moved my arms and let them wrapped around her body. We cried, wept, sobbed – all done in the foyer.

“I’m sorry, Rei.” She said, her tears were alre