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Why do I feel like I’m awake, shouldn’t I be asleep? And why is this place so dark? I questioned. Slowly, my eyes fluttered opened to see a gun on one hand and my Katana on another.

I closed my eyes briefly and opened to see my hands and the Katana covered in blood. Instantly, I threw the weapons away as if it burnt me.

My lowered gaze gradually lifted to see the sight before me that was terribly horrified. I saw my grandfather in his pool of blood with a bullet hole on the center of his forehead, and the two couples beside the old man who I barely recognized because of their disfigured face and burnt flesh.

A part of me are telling me that this is all just a dream – a nightmare. But my subconscious scream that it’s a sign. I don’t know what or who to believe anymore.

“All these bloodsheds are on you, and more people are to die because of you.” A dark sinister voice echoed around the clearing.

I closed my eyes once more, taking a deep breath this time, and opened them again. This time, more than a dozen wolves laid on the clearing, lifeless, covered in their own blood.

What is this? My thoughts screamed.

My breath picked up, rather quickly out of nervousness. I glanced around the place wondering where I was, but nothing struck me as a familiarity. I’ve never seen this place before, so why was I here? This place is nothing but wasteland, the atmosphere was too dark and tense to breathe.

I turned back around to the sight before me, and it seemed like the body count just keep rising. Across the field, a big rock-like-table was set at the entrance of the wood, and the two unknown bodies my sight caught didn’t go unnoticed.

One of them was on the rock, and the other was on the foot of the rock like table.

Unknowingly, my feet started to move on its own accord, heading towards the rock. I could feel my gut churning and twisting, trying to push my inside contents out, the bile was rising to my throat. Taking another deep breath, I pushed it back down and continue to approach the table.

As I was nearing, the figures become clear as a woman dressed in a white dress lying on the rock, and the one on the foot of the rock was a man.

Why do they look so familiar? I wondered.

I continue to get close to see who they are. I can’t help this gnawing feeling in my gut, as if telling me to turn back around and run. But no, my feet have a mind of their own.

From the woman’s side profile, she looks to be in so much peace, there was no sign of discomfort or if she’s in pain. Why is that?

The man, on the other hand, looks to be the opposite of the woman’s calm serene feature. He looks to be in pain, immense one.

My eyes didn’t linger long on the male as it shifted to the woman on the rock, a few more steps and I’m able to see who the woman is.

Just as I was a foot away, I was pulled back with force. It was as if an invisible rope or huge rubber band was tied around my waist for a group of people to yank me flying backward like a slingshot.

The pull woke me up in gasp and panting, with my lungs clawing for air, and my throat dry as if I was left in the desert for a long time. Sitting up straight, I run my hands down my face and pushed my hair out of my sweaty face and neck.

It was still dark outside, but checking the time on my phone, it was 5 in the morning. There’s no way I could fall back asleep after what happened, might as well get up and go for a run. Pushing the blanket aside, I grabbed the hoodie from the edge of my bed and wore it over my tank top and leggings, lastly putting on my running shoes.

I headed into the bathroom to wash my face before going downstairs for a glass of water, and finally set out on my jogging session.

I don’t know how I survived all those dreams I had. Oh, yes! I’ve been having nightmare like that ever since I lived through the gunshot. 

Half an hour into the run, my entire body was screaming in exhaustion, telling me to stop. But I wasn’t going to listen to any of it, and continue to push myself to my limit. I need to feel the burning pain, to make me feel human.

If I can’t cry like any normal person would, I could let myself feel these raging emotions.