III. Turn the Page

 

Irene arrived at school earlier than usual. After waking up an hour before her alarm and not being able to fall back asleep, well, there wasn’t much else to do other than get ready and go. Sure, she could have watched some tv but all they ever showed during the wee mornings were boring infomercials. Then again, maybe those could’ve helped put her to sleep. But it was a little too late for that as she walks through the school gate and enters the building. And it appears, time made no difference. The halls were already clogged with students, either standing around chatting or rummaging through their lockers...and chatting, of course.

 

It was all probably gossip. The latest rumors. What happened the day before, what they heard people were planning to do, and what everyone thought. News spread like wildfire with just the tiniest whisper sparking it. But for Irene, it was much too early for any of that.

 

She carefully weaves past a few crowds and turns into the hallway on the right. Her eyes widen in shock and her pace slows. To her surprise, a certain someone was already waiting by her locker.

 

“Seulgi?” Irene calls out softly as she approaches. “What are you doing here?”

 

There Kang Seulgi stood, leaning against the lockers, staring back at her. Her eyes seemed to watch her every step, observing how she moved with such intensity, Irene began to feel a bit self-conscious.

 

“Finally,” Seulgi smiled.

 

For a brief moment, the space between Irene’s brow crinkled, wondering just what Seulgi meant. And not a second later, the obvious hit her.

 

“You were waiting for me?”

 

“Well, yesterday you said I was late and I told you that next time, I wouldn’t be. And next time is today,” she smirked proudly.

 

“And so here you are?” Irene couldn’t help but laugh a bit. To tell the truth, she was rather impressed. The gesture was unexpected and admittedly cute. Who would’ve thought that Kang Seulgi would be the type?

 

But then again, Kang Seulgi was always full of surprises, wasn’t she?

 

“And so here I am. I’m a lady of my word.”

 

Seulgi folds her right arm across her waist, giving a ninety-degree bow similar to how a butler might to a princess. Irene could only shake her head as she proceeded to open her locker and grab whatever notebooks and textbooks she needed before closing it again.

 

“For someone who kept refusing to date me yesterday, you’re doing a pretty good job of being my girlfriend and willingly too,” Irene stated, noting Seulgi’s obvious enthusiasm.

 

“Welllll,” Seulgi sings in a low hum, a dangerous glint in her eye. Ominous. Irene barely has time to react as Seulgi leans in so alarmingly close, her breath hitched. “I don’t halfass anything, Irene.”

 

Stunned by their close proximity, Irene struggles for words. Her eyes barely able to look away from Seulgi’s--locked and so completely dead-set on her, escape was futile. Irene clutched her books closer to her chest, the only thing between her and Seulgi--her only means of defense.

 

“W-What’s with you and invading my personal space?” Her voice was pitches higher and too shaky to take seriously. Weak. Flashbacks of yesterday replay in her head. How warm Seulgi’s breath was against her ear. How her body felt pressed against her legs. Irene could feel her face beginning to flush pink. “You’re too close, Seulgi...”

 

She tries to push her away using her books but the latter hardly budged.

 

“Aren’t I allowed to be this close to my girlfriend? If anything, I should be even closer, shouldn’t I?”

 

Irene unknowingly holds her breath as Seulgi’s hands find their way to either side of her waist, firmly holding her against the lockers. Through the thin fabric of her button-up shirt, she feels cold metal against her inflamed skin causing her to shiver. And Irene gnaws on her bottom lip, cursing herself for not putting more restrictions on Seulgi when they wrote up the contract. She could order her to stop but that was only if she could even get the words out.

 

Whispers. In her peripheral vision, Irene saw people walking by, leaning into each other and pointing at them while others just stood and stared. But they were all cooing--oohs and ahhs.

 

Irene swallows hard and she manages to find her voice, frail and quiet between shaking breaths.

 

“What’s with you?” Irene leers as she remembers the sweeter Kang Seulgi from yesterday.

 

Seulgi smirks and Irene’s eyes linger to her lips.

 

“Like I said, I’m a mixed bag, babe. It’s more fun, don’t you think?”

 

Irene’s eyes narrowed. So that was it. She was starting to get Seulgi. All the rumors, all the things people said, she thought them to be half-truths or taken with a grain salt. But now--now she was certain that they were more right than not. That above all else, Seulgi always did what Seulgi wanted regardless of anyone or anything else. Solely because it was amusing and that was all the reason she needed. It didn’t necessarily have to be fun, it just couldn’t be boring.

 

“Now I see why Minho doesn’t like you. You’re--what are you--”

 

Seulgi gently presses her forehead against hers and Irene freezes.

 

“Keep your eyes on me,” Seulgi commands, her tone different. Serious, rid of any emotion.

 

Irene could feel her warm breath caress her cheeks. Unable to move and barely able to think, Irene does as told and watches Seulgi as the latter’s eyes travel down to her lips. She reminds herself to breathe.

 

And then she notices him passing by. From the corner of her eye, Minho was watching while walking side by side with his new girlfriend. She was talking and though, he should be paying attention to her, he was instead looking at Seulgi and Irene, astonished. Till finally, he pries his eyes away and wrapped his arm around Krystal as they disappeared into the other hall.

 

An odd feeling of satisfaction welled up from inside Irene.

 

Hands leave her waist and Seulgi finally steps back.

 

“Doesn’t hurt to have a little fun making him jealous,” she laughs proudly. “That’s alright with you, isn’t it?”

 

And it all clicks together. That’s right, Krystal’s locker was also in this hall. Could it be that Minho was watching the entire time then?

 

“So that’s what you were up to,” Irene realizes and she slaps Seulgi’s arm. “A little warning would have been nice!”

 

“But then your body language wouldn’t have been genuine,” Seulgi explained. “I told you, I don’t halfass anything. Plus, I liked the look on your face.”

 

Seulgi gives her a wink and then takes her by the hand, leading her down the hall. And Irene was beginning to think she might’ve gotten more than she bargained for.

 

//

 

Irene kept her eyes down. On her desk, she arranged her pencils next to her notebook. Then, she rearranged them to the opposite side and then back to where they were before. A deep breath. Perhaps she underestimated the repercussions of her agreement with Seulgi.

 

“Was that Kang Seulgi I saw?”

 

“Yeah, she just walked Irene to class and then left.”

 

Irene picked the loose rubber threads off her eraser. No one even bothered to whisper anymore. The entire room was a mess of noise--voices filling the space between bodies. In a way, it was suffocating and it took everything in her to just try and tune them out.

 

“Oh, so they really are dating?!”

 

“Looks like it.”

 

But she failed miserably. She was used to attention but certainly not this much.

 

“I heard both Minho and Irene were cheating on each other. He got Krystal and she got Seulgi.”

 

“No way.”

 

“Hey, I’m just telling you what I heard. How else do you explain all of this? There had to have been something going on way before. We just didn’t know.”

 

“Damn. You know what, now that I think about it… that makes sense.”

 

“Right?”

 

Irene flips open to her last page of notes, reviewing the content from yesterday’s class. Just how did people come up with this stuff? Her--cheat on Minho? Absolutely impossible. And there’s no way he was cheating on her. He couldn’t have possibly been, he was better than that.

 

“Minho and Irene were so cute. I can’t believe they broke up.”

 

“Well, I can’t believe Kang Seulgi is dating Irene.”

 

To be honest, she couldn’t believe either of those statements herself. But they were true--well, the second was half-true. Still...

 

“I know right? I’m so jealous of Irene, like how the did she even?”

 

“You tell me.”

 

“Wait, you’re jealous of Irene? I’m freaking jealous of Seulgi! How’d that loser manage to win Irene over?”

 

She scribbles incoherent gibberish upon an empty page. Violent swirls, jagged lines, jumbled up thoughts half-written and soon scratched away. God, clearly she underestimated how much commotion they would cause.

 

“I bet Seulgi’s gonna dump her next week anyway. That chick’s got an endless number of guys and girls lined up for her. There’s no way she’d settle for just one person.”

 

“Just one day. If Seulgi could at least go on a date with me for one day--God.”

 

“I never thought Minho and Irene would break up. It's kind of sad.”

 

Her pen digs harder into the page and the voices grow louder and louder until she’s unable to distinguish a clear sentence of conversation. Just buzz so deafening, she could hardly think. And when their teacher finally walks in, silencing the room, Irene had never been so thankful that class had begun.

 

//

 

Those three weeks after their break up hardly felt like anything. The wounds still felt fresh and Irene didn’t have the courage to face anyone, not her friends and most definitely not Minho--with the exception of yesterday of course, but that was with Seulgi’s help.

 

No, here alone in the lunchroom, she sat at a round table in the corner by herself. Her usual group of friends occupied one of the bigger long tables near the center. Drama club members, Choir members, Basketball players, Soccer Players, etc. The “popular” kids. And as one might expect, Minho sat there with his new girlfriend Krystal who appeared to have been warmly received by the rest of their friends. A stage at which Irene was not ready for. Not by a long shot. So she quietly nibbles at her sandwich, keeping her head down and thinking to herself, for how much longer would she be like this?

 

A sudden figure appears next to her, quickly slipping in to take a seat. She jumps, startled, and her sandwich nearly falls out of her hands.

 

It was Kang Seulgi.

 

“What are you doing here?” is Irene’s immediate reaction and it comes out like a whirlwind, Seulgi just barely caught it.

 

“Keeping you company during lunch,” Seulgi looks at her quizzically. “Is that not normal? Do you want me to leave?”

 

“No, sorry I was just--I’ve never see you around during lunch so I was just surprised.”

 

She sets her sandwich down and cleans the crumbs from her fingertips, dusting them over her tray. It was widely known that Seulgi had a tendency to skip class or wander around the school whenever she pleased. This was especially true for the later half of the school day. How she’d never been caught or reprimanded was a mystery. Irene glances over and notices that Seulgi was empty handed.

 

“Where’s your food?”

 

“Not important,” Seulgi remarks, casually brushing the question aside with the wave of her hand. “So--”

 

For some reason, Seulgi scoots closer and instinctively, Irene backs away, sliding her chair a foot in the opposite direction. The reaction has Seulgi arching a brow, cutting her sentence off as she observes Irene for a moment.

 

“What are you--is this… because of this morning?” she asks, amused.

 

Irene doesn’t answer her directly as the slightly flustered look on her face tells it all.

 

“You should be more mindful of people’s personal space.”

 

Irene wanted to scold her more but that was all she could get out. After all, Seulgi wasn’t entirely to blame. But that didn’t mean Irene certainly approved either. Her eyes stay sharp, watching Seulgi’s every move. How she propped her elbow on the table, resting her chin in her hand, and not to mention the obvious smile starting to form.

 

“You know you could have told me to stop, right? Rule number one, remember?”

 

Of course, she remembered. There was just one issue.

 

“I know,” Irene mumbles softly. “I was going to say something--”

 

“But then I left you breathless, huh?”

 

Irene refrains from scowling but she could only hold back so much as her brows eventually knitted together. The odd and restrained expression elicits a few chuckles from Seulgi. Learning how to be around her and ignore her antics was going to take a while. Irene sighs.

 

“You’re a lot more annoying than I thought.”

 

Her girlfriend grins from ear to ear, unbothered by her statement. Hardly anything got under Seulgi’s skin from what Irene’s noticed. Though the same could not be said in reverse, getting under other’s skin was one of Seulgi’s unique talents.

 

“So do you have what I asked you to do?”

 

Irene blinks in confusion for a moment and then it dawns on her. To her left, she pulls a folder from her stack of notebooks and textbooks, opening it and retrieving a small folded note. It was a square of dark purple parchment about the size of her palm. She’d written the list last night as soon as she got home. What surprised her is that, it wasn’t hard at all to write. What was hard was dwindling it down to fit on one page. If Seulgi hadn’t warned her, she really might have given her an essay.

 

“Here,” Irene shyly hands over the note.

 

Seulgi takes it in one hand, flipping the square back and forth between her fingers, inspecting it. Then, with unusual caution, she unfolds the note carefully. And Irene can’t help but watch, biting her lip in anticipation as the page is fully unraveled and Seulgi’s eyes fall upon the first line.

 

Ba-dump Ba-dump.

 

Her heartbeat in her ears grew louder and louder. What she wrote, those words inscribed by her favorite ball-point pen, a gift from her ex-boyfriend, was the story of them. Special moments she held dear and now that tale was in the hands of Kang Seulgi. She might as well have handed over a looking glass to her heart.

 

“What?” Seulgi speaks up, looking straight at Irene. She must’ve been staring too hard.

 

She quickly looks away, “Nothing.”

 

And Seulgi’s eyes soften, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to laugh at what you wrote. Just finish your lunch.”

 

Irene still nibbles on her bottom lip as Seulgi resumes her reading. The latter remains expressionless as she seems to be completely invested in the purple note, staying true to her word. Reluctantly but less worried than before, Irene decides to finish her half-eaten sandwich.

 

It’s been ten minutes and Seulgi’s attention hasn’t left the list. Having finished her sandwich, Irene’s hands move to peel her orange mindlessly. The scent of strong citrus permeates the air around them and the fruit’s skin gets caught in her nails. What was going on in Seulgi’s head right now? Irene knows she wrote a lot but surely, one could finish reading it by now. Perhaps, Seulgi was laughing at her inside her head, rereading lines and chuckling at them while suppressing any verbal outbursts. Did she think Irene was silly? Or maybe pathetic? Naive? She works her way around until the orange is completely stripped. The sound of crinkling paper catches her attention, she puts the fruit aside carelessly.

 

“You’re done?”

 

Seulgi tucks the note in the front pocket of her uniform blazer.

 

“So?”

 

“It was more detailed than I expected,” Seulgi cups her chin in her hand. “I was expecting brief bullet points but you actually gave me more than that. It was very…” She taps her finger along her jaw, searching, “Honest. You like writing, don’t you?”

 

Irene gives an affirmative nod and smiles softly, pleased that Seulgi did not ridicule her. She grabs a napkin at her side, wiping her fingers dry. Journals, parchment, stationery, pens, and pencils--they were all her favorite. It was an interest that started from a young age when she was a lot smaller and a lot more soft spoken. A shy, quiet little thing. Sometimes when new people spoke to her she’d even hide behind her hair like a veil to obscure her face.

 

Speaking out loud just didn’t come as easy but there were so many thoughts and ideas, she’d scribble them at the corners of her assignments, the back of her notebooks, as well as the palm of her hand, whatever a pen could lay ink on.

 

She throws the napkin on top of the tray and sets it to the side.

 

“What about your orange?”

 

“My what?”

 

“Your orange,” Seulgi points to the forgotten fruit. “You’re not going to eat it?”

 

Irene looks to where she abandoned the fruit. Ah, she sighs internally. She never had any intention of eating it. Not before and not now.

 

She shakes her head and Seulgi gives her a confused look.

 

“Kind of weird to peel an orange and not eat it.”

 

She knows.

 

“Force of habit,” Irene simply answers.

 

And that triggers interest in Seulgi. One could practically see her ears perk up. She her head to the side a little, her eyes urging Irene to continue.

 

“The orange isn’t for me,” Irene confesses with a heavy sigh. “I always get an orange with my lunch because of Minho. He liked them a lot and every day I’d peel it for him to eat. Guess I just got so used to doing it.”

 

Irene rolls the orange into the center of her palms. She never really liked the fruit aside from the smell. She much preferred apples but Minho had the bad habit of getting sick and Irene used to always scold him about taking his vitamins. Which, he still barely did, but he liked oranges. So Irene made sure he would always eat them. Now, well, there was no point.

 

“Do you want it?” Irene blandly offers.

 

“No.”

 

Seulgi takes the fruit from her hands and sets it on the tray to be disposed of later.

 

And Irene’s eyes can’t help but wander to the table across the room where she could hear them all laughing and talking. Where she could see Minho resting his head on Krystal’s shoulder and she was looking at him with the same eyes she used to--a gaze like honey. It made her chest ache until she couldn’t stand to watch any longer.

 

“I-I, um, I’m going to go to the bathroom really quick. Can you watch my stuff?”

 

And Irene scurries away before Seulgi can say anything. The latter sits obediently, drumming her fingers along the table in thought as she observed Minho and Krystal.

 

//

 

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride home?” Seulgi offers a second time.

 

“I’m sure,” Irene declines again but she did appreciate the sentiment. Seulgi definitely wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t half- anything. The effort she displayed throughout the day exceeded Irene's expectations. So much so, it had Irene feeling somewhat skeptical. But this was Kang Seulgi and this is what she excelled at.

 

The heartthrob gives her a long look as if she didn’t quite believe Irene’s answer at face value.

 

“I’m serious, I’m fine. I have dance practice today anyway and I usually take the bus there,” Irene tries her best to convince the other girl. “Besides don’t you have track practice, too?”

 

Seulgi remains unmoving, her eyes starting to bore holes into Irene’s skull.

 

Make no mistake, it was sweet of Seulgi to offer and insist. Actually, just her presence--being her girlfriend, made Irene feel much better. Way more than she had in days.

 

Yet even so, there was this sense of hollowness still present at her core, resting at the center of her chest. Seeing Minho and Krystal earlier, she felt it deepen and it had her aching. And still, the feeling lingered, unable to shake it, she just needed to be alone for now. That's all she wanted.

 

“Seulgi, I don’t need a ride. Rule number one,” she reminds her.

 

Irene is in charge and has the final say in anything.

 

This time, Irene learned her lesson.

 

For a moment, Seulgi’s eyes widened in surprise followed by the drop of her shoulders and a quiet sigh. All that remained was a wisp of a smile. An expression Irene’s seen every time Seulgi would finally give in.

 

“You remembered this time,” she laughs for some reason. “Alright then but before you go, give me your phone really quick.”

 

Irene doesn’t waste time asking questions and hands the device over after unlocking the screen. She watches curiously as Seulgi fumbles with her phone for a quick minute, taking her own out as well, fiddling with both devices. About a minute later, Seulgi returns her phone. Irene takes a quick glance at the screen, noticing Seulgi’s contact info was added.

 

Her eyes wander to Seulgi’s smiling ones.

 

“Call me if you need anything.” Slowly, she starts to walk backwards. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

With those parting words, she twists on her heel and makes her way to the opened double doors leading outside. Always so suave and nonchalant, not even waiting for Irene to return her goodbye. One can’t help but wonder if Seulgi ever tired of it--being so detached and laidback. Nothing ever seemed to get to her. If only Irene could be like that. Life would most certainly be easier if she was.

 

“Seulgi!” she calls out. “Thanks for today! Really!”

 

She neither stops nor turns around but casually raises her hand, giving a limp wave and shouts, “Just doing my job!”

 

//

 

Exhausted, Irene drags her feet as she walks down the sidewalk, rolling her shoulder to adjust her falling backpack strap. She massages the back of her neck, feeling all the knots of stress bundled together. Add that to the burning in her calves and thighs, the soreness in her back and the pain in her upper arms, she was barely able to move. Honestly, she was amazed that she could even walk. Their new choreography certainly took it’s toll.

 

She sighs as she works her fingers on the small bit of tension at the back of her neck, giving it relief. But she could only do so much and soon the muscles in her arm scream, reminding her just how much they ached as well and it falls limply to her side.

 

Her eyes fall to the ground and her stare moves from pebble to pebble, from every crack on the sidewalk to the stray ants that crawled across the pavement. With the heel of her hand, Irene wipes the sweat from her temple. She could still feel that indescribable hollowness in her chest and it irked her. How could she be like this?

 

She clutches the strap of her bag, frustrated with herself.

 

If only there was an absolute cure for heartbreak.

 

If only she wasn’t heartbroken in the first place.

 

If only--

 

She shakes her head, scattering her thoughts and discarding them before she got trapped in another spiral of what-if’s and if-only’s. Moping around, wallowing in her sadness, hiding in a twist of blankets dried of tears--she was tired of it. And yet, it continued every day, every night. Why? Why was it so hard to just stop?

 

She must’ve asked that question a hundred times by now. Maybe more.

 

But if time healed all wounds, how much longer then she wondered.

 

Bzzt.

 

Irene stops for a moment, rummaging through her bag until she finally found her phone that was buzzing for attention.

 

1 new message

 

She tilts her head at the notification as she continues walking. Her thumb swipes across the screen and a loud click sounds off. She opens the message and lo’ and behold, expect the unexpected.

 

Seulgi: Done with track practice. Are you heading home now?

 

A small smile begins to form at the corner of Irene’s lips.

 

Irene: Yeah. I’m heading to the bus stop.

 

The next reply comes in a flash.

 

Seulgi: Alright. Take care, babe ;P

 

A shiver runs up her spine and her fingers curl as she cringes. Even just reading the word babe repulsed her somehow.

 

Irene: EW and okay.

 

Bzzt. God, Seulgi was fast at replying. She must have been bored or maybe playing the super attentive girlfriend. Irene wasn’t sure.

 

Seulgi: lol did i gross you out somehow?

 

Irene: babe? Really?

 

Seulgi: what? does it bother you? ;)

 

Irene: it makes me cringe. Or did you not notice?

 

Seulgi: i noticed and i’ll be sure to call you that more often~

 

Of course. She frowns at the thought of babe becoming her new nickname. She at least liked the nickname Minho gave her, honey. Although both were cringe worthy, the delivery couldn’t have been anymore different. The way Minho would say it, it was sweet and endearing. With Seulgi, well, it was more irritating than anything else, like an annoying itch she couldn’t scratch. Every time the word babe rolled off her tongue it was followed by a cocky lopsided grin.

 

Irene: omg Seulgi

 

Seulgi: :)

 

And Irene could practically imagine the smug look on Seulgi’s face. It was amazing how much a simple emoticon was able to convey. Her fingers hurry to type her next reply but her ringtone goes off from an incoming call and across the screen read the name “Wendy”. Irene beams excitedly as she answers.

 

“Wendy!” Irene shouts, pressing the phone close to her ear.

 

Shy laughter comes in from the other end.

 

“Irene! Wow, did you miss me that much?”

 

“Why haven’t you been calling me? It’s almost been a month,” Irene pouts, as she kicks a stray pebble to the side.

 

You’d think her so-called best friend would remember to drop a call every once in awhile, especially when she’s overseas. Wendy along with a select group of students from their school were participating in their study abroad program, spending the last three months in the USA. And it was an understatement to say that Irene sorely missed the girl.

 

“Sorry, we’ve been busy over here,” Wendy gave an exhausted sigh. “We did some last minute tours and checked out some hot spots and landmarks. Oh! And we a took a ton of pictures.”

 

“Sounds like fun,” Irene smiled.

 

The last time Wendy had visited the USA was before she moved from Canada back to South Korea in middle school. And Irene knew how badly her best friend wanted to return, even for just a small vacation of some kind. It was nice to hear how much she was enjoying her stay there. Despite leaving Irene alone for a few months.

 

“All of the scenery was really nice,” Wendy’s voice turns into little more than a whisper. “You would have loved it.”

 

And Irene’s smile softens, aware of what Wendy really meant, “I miss you, too.”

 

Embarrassed, Wendy laughs again. She was usually the cheesy one.

 

“Anyways, how’s it going over there?”

 

Irene takes a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. “Good. You know… same old, same old.”

 

She stops at the curb of the bus stop, peeking down the street for it’s arrival. Probably around a five to ten minute wait she suspected.

 

“What about Minho and the rest of the basketball team? Is Mr. Star-Player kicking ?”

 

She bites the inside of her cheek and her stomach twists into knots. Wendy didn’t know.

 

“Of course,” Irene feigns a cheerful tone, putting her acting skills to use. “They’ve been practicing a lot and won their last two games. You know him, always so competitive.”

 

She nearly crumbles at the end of her sentence, teeth sinking into her bottom lip, hoping Wendy didn’t pick up on the tiny hitch in her voice.

 

“Yeah, reminds me of how his girlfriend is sometimes,” Wendy teases.

 

Girlfriend.

 

Not anymore.

 

Irene’s eyes shut tight and she forces out a giggle, “Shut up.”

 

Thankfully, Wendy laughs along. Though, Irene can barely keep up the facade as her free hand clenches into a fist, nails digging into her palm. But it seems, she wasn’t as convincing as she thought.

 

“That sounded a little weaker than usual. Is something wrong?” Wendy asks.

 

Irene would have to try harder if she wanted to fool her best friend.

 

“No, I’m fine. I’m just tired from my dance practice earlier,” she reassures and thankfully, Wendy didn’t attempt to pry as usual.

 

“Ah, I see. Well, sorry for not calling the past few weeks but I just wanted to give you some good news. In case you forgot, we’ll be coming back next week.”

 

The smallest bit of relief washes over Irene. After everything’s that happened, at least her best friend would be back soon.

 

“Finally,” Irene sighs as she spots the bus about a street away. “Make sure you bring me back a souvenir, okay?”

 

“Yes, yes, I know. You’ve reminded me about ten times. Oh, I have to go now. I’ll see you in a week! Tell Minho I said hi! See you, Irene!”

 

Her face falls as they end their call, “See you.”

 

One week can’t come soon enough. Until then, Wendy would have to wait to say hello to Minho himself.

 

//

 

It was a dark room, blinds closed, curtains shut tight. The only source of light was a desk lamp shining in the corner of the room. There Seulgi sat, slouching in her chair as she read over the purple parchment for possibly the third time. Meticulous and honest. She really didn’t pull any punches while writing, Seulgi thought to herself.

 

Two years worth of memories and these were what Irene picked.

 

Seulgi sighs to herself as she folds the note back up and fiddles with the square between her fingers.

 

“So you really did love him, huh?” she says aloud.

 

Honestly speaking, Seulgi had her doubts but perhaps that was because she was just overall skeptical.

 

Love sounded so naive. But with the way Irene looked at him, even an idiot could tell. Still…

 

Seulgi taps the corner of the parchment against the desk. For now, she’d just have to observe.

 

“Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

 

Seulgi tucks the note into her desk drawer for safekeeping. She throws her head back and stares at the ceiling, her eyelids slowly starting to shut. Fatigue begins to lull her to sleep and she nearly sinks into slumber when her phone dings. She doesn’t bother sitting up as her hand blindly searches the desk until she finds it.

 

Her eyes struggle to open as the bright LED screen shines in her face.

 

Annoying Cutie: Miss me? Well, guess what? I’ll be back soon~ You better have some flowers ready for when I arrive :D xoxo

 

A tiny chortle escapes her as she replies.

 

BearSeul: Yeah, whatever ;P

 

And she forces herself to stand, dragging her feet until she reaches the foot of her bed and falls onto a bundle of soft blankets.

 

//

 

Once again, Seulgi was waiting for Irene at her locker. Although this time, she didn’t talk much. A small grin, a little hello, no over-the-top antics like yesterday. Irene grew nervous, peeking over her shoulder every few seconds, afraid Seulgi was just waiting for the opportune time to strike. But she didn’t. Seulgi stood, waiting quietly. And when Irene was done grabbing her books, the heartthrob simply took her by the hand and escorted her to class.

 

“I’ll see you at lunch,” Seulgi smiles, standing in the classroom’s door frame.

 

And just as she slips her hand out of Irene’s, the latter manages to hold onto her pinky. The sudden grip twists Seulgi back around to face her, puzzled. Though, Irene was just as surprised as she was. But it was strange for Seulgi to be so… normal.

 

“That’s it?” she blurts out. “Are you okay?”

 

There was nothing funny about the question and yet, Seulgi’s eyes twinkled in amusement. She tilts her head, considering. Then, Irene feels the caress of soft fingertips raise her chin upward just by a few centimeters, where her gaze meets Seulgi’s head on.

 

“Sorry, I meant, I’ll see you at lunch, babe,” she smirks.

 

And there it was. Irene immediately pulls herself away and shoves Seulgi before she walks to her desk, leaving the other girl laughing out in the hall. She cursed herself for worrying more than she should have. And everyone oohs and aahs again.

 

Then it begins. Another morning with whispers about her. Whispers about Seulgi. Whispers about Minho. She tunes them out and scribbles in her notebook.

 

When will people move on?

 

Her pen drops.

 

When will she?

 

//

 

Seulgi arrived first, already sitting at the lunch table waiting for her. She was slouching lazily, elbows propped up on the table, head resting in the palm of her hand as if she could fall asleep any second. Irene takes a seat to her right, setting her tray on the table. But before she digs into her lunch, she looks over at Seulgi.

 

“No food again?”

 

Her words slurred, “Nope, don’t have any.”

 

Irene blinks and knit her brows in worry. A loud yawn and Seulgi stretches her arms.

 

“You don’t bother hiding it, do you?” Seulgi pokes the space between Irene’s brows, unfurling them. The shorter girl moves her head away, unsure of what Seulgi meant. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t usually eat lunch. Just a lot snacks. Typically a bag of chips and a redbull every now and then.”

 

That wasn’t any better.

 

“Seulgi--”

 

“Kang!” A voice across the room calls. Both girls redirect their attention to see none other than Mark and Johnny strolling up to their table. The boys take their seats across from them in a mess of loud creaks and clatters, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the cafeteria. Seulgi rolls her eyes at their less than graceful arrival.

 

“What the hell are you guys doing?” the heartthrob asks with waning patience.

 

“You didn’t have lunch outside with us yesterday--” Mark begins.

 

“--and you weren’t there today,” Johnny finishes.

 

The two exchange a quick glance and smile, “So we came here looking for you!”

 

Irene stares at the three of them in wonder. It was different to see Seulgi interacting with her friends. Very intriguing and quite the opposite from the calm demeanor she wore in front of others.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were here?” Johnny inquires.

 

“Because I know you guys.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mark asks this time, sounding somewhat offended.

 

“It means, now that you’re here, I know you’re just going to annoy Irene.” Seulgi points her index and middle finger outward. “Don’t think I don’t know what you two are up to.”

 

Johnny waves his hands frantically in front of him, “No way! We just wanna be friends. Besides we’re super cool, right Irene?”

 

Irene’s eyes widen at the sudden call of her name.

 

“Yeah,” Mark shouts excitedly as he scoots closer to Irene, chair screeching along the tile floor. “Now that you’re with Seulgi we got your back no matter what. So let’s just all get along.”

 

“Do you two know how to shut up?” Seulgi sneers, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

 

The two look at each other for a split second and with the widest smile, reaching from ear to ear, they proudly announce, “Nope!”

 

Defeated, Seulgi releases a long exasperated sigh as she scratches the back of her neck in annoyance but Irene couldn’t help but laugh. It comes out louder than she expected and she clutches her stomach as it passes. How long has it been since she'd laughed so hard?

 

Taking that as a sign of approval, Mark slides his tray closer and Johnny moves to join him. Seulgi keeps mum, merely observing with careful eyes.

 

“So Irene, which sandwich did you get?”

 

“Do you want my apple?”

 

And there’s the strange presence of being watched, Seulgi can feel it. She moves her head back a bit and looks past their table and to the other side of the room. At the long table where Minho and his friend’s sat, a girl with short light brown hair quickly averts her eyes.

 

//

 

Finally, the end of the day and thankfully, a Friday as well. Irene breathes a sigh of relief as she works to unlock her locker. For some reason, this week had been exhausting and nearly tormenting in how long it felt. And if that wasn’t enough, her teachers just had to assign some extra homework as if she had nothing else to do. The locker opens with a clank and Irene begins to practically grab every book, notebook, and binder, stuffing it into her bag. Looks like she wouldn’t get any rest this weekend either.

 

“Hi Irene.”

 

Her ears perk to the sound of her name and she pauses, leaning back to see a girl much taller than her with short brown hair wearing a soft smile.

 

Choi Sooyoung.

 

“Oh, Sooyoung,” Irene greets back as best as she could. They haven’t spoken since her break up with Minho--actually, Irene hasn’t really talked to any of their friends since then. “What’s up?”

 

The halls were starting to get busier and louder as everyone prepared to home. Sooyoung steps closer, away from the crowds, making sure only Irene could hear her.

 

“Listen, I know it’s a little late but we all thought you might have needed some space after what happened,” Sooyoung twists the ring around her thumb. “I’m sorry about you and Minho.”

 

The way Sooyoung looked at her, those eyes so full of pity. Irene didn’t need anymore of that from anyone else, not when she had more than enough from herself.

 

“I’m sorry, too.”

 

“We miss you, you know? Even sitting at lunch with us.”

 

Was that her way of asking Irene to come back?

 

The gesture was touching and it was a relief to know her friends thought of her but she wasn’t ready for that. Things weren’t normal anymore. And things weren’t okay. And Irene could only pretend so much for so long in a day until it killed her inside.

 

“Thanks but I think I’ll just be eating lunch on my own from now on.” She forces a tiny smile. “It’s just a little hard for me to be around him right now.”

 

Sooyoung shakes her head, “No, that’s perfectly understandable.” Then, she bites the corner of her lip and there’s a look of curiosity on her face. “But If you don’t mind me asking, I didn’t want to believe it at first but are the rumors true?”

 

Rumors. Those were always going around, new ones, old ones. Irene tilts her head to the side, not quite sure which one Sooyoung was alluding to but she did have a pretty good guess.

 

“You’re dating Kang Seulgi?” Sooyoung questionably states. “It’s the first time I’ve actually seen her in the cafeteria. I didn’t think what everyone was saying was true but then I saw her with you at your table and--”

 

“It’s true.”

 

Sooyoung’s eyes twinkled. She was a kind-hearted girl full of humor but she also had a liking for gossip, unfortunately. And Irene could see where this was headed.

 

“Wow, well that’s really shocking,” Sooyoung exclaims, barely able to hide her enthusiasm.

 

“Why?”

 

“Oh nothing, Seulgi just doesn’t seem like the type to date. You’ll have to keep an eye on her. Everyone knows she likes to play around,” Sooyoung waves her hand, acting nonchalant. Though it was evident she restrained herself from saying more.

 

People liked to say a lot of things about Seulgi, didn’t they? Not even half a week into dating and Irene’s heard more than enough whispers about her and all the ominous, unpleasant, foreboding hearsay her peers could conjure up.

 

Whether they were true or not, Irene didn’t know. Hell, everybody probably knew little more than her. But what she did know was that Seulgi promised to help her. That, Irene was more than sure she could count on.

 

“I trust Seulgi,” Irene simply states and Sooyoung gives her a sort of baffled smile.

 

It was all Irene could say on the matter as she returns her attention to her locker, continuing to stuff her bag. Though she trusts it was enough to shut Sooyoung up on whatever else she wanted to say about the heartthrob.

 

And when she’s nearly done packing her things her eyes narrow on some sort of postcard wedged between her books. She grabs it and written along the front in big bold letters were the words, Let’s Get Lit! The idiocy and immaturity had her scoffing, loud enough for Sooyoung to hear and peer over her shoulder.

 

“Oh, that’s right!” Sooyoung yelps excitedly. “You should definitely come to the party tonight. Sehun and the other guys dropped those invitations in everyone’s locker during lunch.”

 

A party. She hadn’t been to one of those in a while and she would have been more than excited at the prospect of it before.

 

But not now.

 

She carelessly drops the postcard into her bag and zips it up with sigh, “I think I’ll pass this time.”

 

Her locker shuts with a soft clank.

 

“Are you sure?” Sooyoung gives her a worried look and a smile when Irene turns back to face her. “It’ll be fun, plus maybe you’ll meet someone better than Seulgi over there. It’ll at least help get your mind off of things.”

 

“Soo--”

 

“Just think about it, alright?” Sooyoung cuts her off.

 

Clearly, she was worried and Irene was helpless to ignore the tone of concern in her voice. She gives a small nod and the taller girl wraps her in a warm hug and leaves.

 

“A party, huh?”

 

Irene jumps at the sudden whisper in her ear.

 

“Seulgi! Could you please not surprise me like that?”

 

The words come out in a flurry and the heartthrob laughs, obviously amused at how rattled Irene became when startled.

 

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Seulgi teases, shoving her hands into her pockets.

 

Rule number one.

 

“Telling you.”

 

“Got it then, babe.”

 

An immediate groan passes through Irene’s lips almost as quickly as the smirk that forms on Seulgi’s. The latter never seemed to miss the chance to poke fun at her. And for a brief moment as Irene looks back at Seulgi, the way her lips are always upturned, never in a frown, and the way her eyes said very little, yet were always so piercing, she wondered just how many of the things people said about her were true.

 

“So what’s this party I overheard about?”

 

Irene narrows her eyes, “Overheard? Or do you mean eavesdropped on?”

 

Because Irene was certain with all the hustle and bustle in the halls, her conversation with Sooyoung wasn’t something easily overheard. Not without effort and at that point, that was not longer overhearing.

 

Seulgi doesn’t say a word. An answer in itself. Irene lazily s her bag and searches for the small postcard, handing it over to Seulgi. The latter sneers upon reading the front before flipping it over to examine the back.

 

“It’s a house party at Sehun’s tonight. Apparently they invited everyone. Didn’t you check your locker?”

 

“I hardly ever check my locker, Irene. The only thing I care to check on is my sports bag.”

 

Irene should have assumed as much.

 

“So,” Seulgi hands back the invitation, “are you going?”

 

Irene folds the postcard into fours, not caring much to preserve it and tucks it away in the pocket of her blazer.

 

“No. Not this time.”

 

“Are you sure?” Seulgi persists. “Don’t want to do a bit of drinking? Maybe get lit?”

 

A joke. Irene punches her arm for it but Seulgi can’t help but laugh. On the other hand, Irene wonders.

 

“I’m sure but why are you even asking?”

 

Seulgi tilts her head and the ever-present smirk falls from her lips as if the answer were obvious.

 

“Because I’d go with you if wanted to go. I’m your girlfriend after all.”

 

Simply stated and obvious indeed. Irene bites her lip, suppressing the smile behind them. Even it was just because of their agreement, Irene couldn’t help it.

 

“You’re really good at saying the right thing, you know that?” Irene says, laughing. “But yeah, I think I’m just going to head home and watch some tv. This whole week has been really tiring and I’m not in a very party mood.”

 

She shrugs, slinging her bag over her shoulder. No more questions from Seulgi or anymore joking remarks but the girl’s eyes scan her up and down, head to toe, contemplating. Then they settle on her eyes as if searching. For a few seconds they linger and Irene begins to grow nervous.

 

“Okay, well if you happen to change your mind just call me.”

 

Irene nods in relief and with a smile, Seulgi takes a few steps backwards to leave.

 

“Actually,” Irene blurts out, stopping the taller girl midstep, “do you mind giving me a ride home today?”

 

Seulgi pauses. She takes five steps forward. The halls are nearly empty now, almost quiet enough to hear her inch closer. And Irene blinks at the hand offered in front of her.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

And with a small laugh, Irene takes Seulgi’s hand in her own.

 

//

 

Of all the things showing on tv tonight, the world seemed to hate her as Irene continuously flipped past romance movie after romance movie. Romantic drama. Romantic tragedy. Romantic comedy. It was as if every variation of romance was playing until Irene grew frustrated and chucked the remote to the other side of the couch as The Notebook went on a commercial break.

 

She sinks into her couch and stares up at the ceiling. Her eyes wander and she begins to count all the specks above her. One two three. Fifty. One hundred. Irene checks the time on her phone, only a minute had passed. One minute to count one hundred specks. A few months to fall in love. Two years to be together. A few weeks after to break up. Three weeks and she’s still stuck.

 

Irene groans and crosses her arms over eyes. She was doing it again. Thinking. Wallowing.

 

“God,” Irene mutters to herself.

 

“It was real wasn’t it? You and me,” says the tv and Irene groans, lunging across the couch for the remote and hitting the power button.

 

The Notebook, her favorite movie, a movie she’s watched with Minho many times. She knew those next lines.

 

“Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids. But we really loved each other, didn’t we?”

 

A heavy sigh.

 

Everything just seemed so inescapable. Irene begins to count specks again. Two hundred. Three hundred. Four hundred. Five hundred. At this rate, she feared may run out of specks to count before the end of the night. What a shame that would be.

 

Her hands find her phone and she stares at the home screen. Maybe she could call Seulgi. They could hang out, eat, or maybe go drive somewhere. Irene shakes her head, Seulgi probably had better things to do on a Friday night and only one of them had to be miserable. Perhaps, she could call Wendy? Oh but the time difference, it was probably way too early in the morning to call her.

 

Irene mindlessly sifts through her apps. Nothing new on twitter. Hardly anything interesting on facebook, lots of quote posts, complaints, ranting. She closes it. Irene scrolls down on instagram, she always enjoyed looking at pictures, especially scenery and it’d been a while since she’s updated herself. Wendy liked to post a lot, there might have been some recent uploads Irene missed out on.

 

She stops.

 

That sense of hollowness at the center of her chest, she could feel it again. Only this time, it ached, it throbbed. But she could neither look away or force herself to close the app. She chewed on her bottom lip as it trembled. The caption was as simple as can be, merely a heart emoji. And the picture was Minho and Krystal locked in an embrace, his lips pressed against the corner of hers as she smiled into the camera.

 

They looked happy. Unbelievably happy. Like how Irene and Minho used to be.

 

Why?

 

Why?

 

Why...?

 

Irene sits up, shaking away the emerging tears and grabs her blazer off the arm of the couch. In its pocket, she fishes out the folded postcard and storms towards the front door, grabbing a jacket on the way out.

 

//

 

The bulb on the desk lamp was starting to dim. She’d need to replace that soon. Seulgi writes a reminder on a post-it note, sticking it on the bulletin board above her desk with all the rest. Too many things to remember and yet, she always seemed to forget something.

 

Seulgi sits back down and stares at the purple paper, reading it over once more, chewing on the cap of her pen. She scribbles a few thoughts down. The post-it notes fly one after the other. Soon there was a pile of paper in disarray at the corner of her desk.

 

She chews on her pen again and her phone goes off. Her eyes narrow suspiciously as she reads the name across the screen.

 

“Jackson, what do you want?” Seulgi says, answering the call as she continues to write again. She winces from the feedback of loud music and cheering coming in from his end.

 

“You need to get down here now,” he shouts over the noise.

 

There’s a toast of glasses, more cheering. Another note is added to the pile.

 

“You know I don’t I like those parties--”

 

“Listen, your girl is here and she is beyond drunk.”

 

The pen drops onto her desk as Seulgi immediately stands from her chair causing it to fall over.

 

What the hell?!

 

“Irene is there?” Seulgi barks back. And there’s more cheering again. Shouting. Drinking. Laughing. She said she wasn’t going. Seulgi should have paid closer attention.

 

“Yes, Bae Irene is here and--hey, back up! Watch yourself!”

 

Seulgi grabs her jacket and her keys.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“Kang, you better get over here. Irene’s not stopping and all these guys are flocked around her. I’m making sure they don’t try anything funny but you have to take her home-- “

 

She storms out the door and runs for her truck.

 

“I’m on my way, watch her until I get there.”

 

“Got it but you better be fast.”

 

Her keys turn, the ignition starts, and her truck rumbles to life. She slams on the gas pedal.

 

“Give me five minutes.”

 

//

 

Her vision was swimming. Everything was floating. Weightless. Their faces were blurs all around her. All of their voices, indistinguishable. Who were these people?

 

“Bottoms up!”

 

She downs the liquid in her red cup, a slow burn in . A bit of alcohol drips down the corner of her lip. Did it matter who these people were? They gave her drinks, that was good enough.

 

She teeters. She rocks. Was she even sitting? Was she lying down? Her sense of balance was long gone and she laughs. A hand on her shoulder steadies her, firmly grabbing her. Pulling her closer.

 

“Hey, back off! I told you if you tried anything again that I was gonna kick your !”

 

She feels the hand swatted away and she falls forward just a bit.

 

Oh, he sounded angry.

 

“How about you back off, huh? The girl is clearly trying to have a good time.” Some guy, his words slurred.

 

“Yeah, we’re just all trying to have a little fun.” Someone else speaks up.

 

“I told you--”

 

“Another drink!” Irene shouts, waving her cup in the air. Everyone cheers in unison and she could feel the liquid pouring into her hands.

 

She just wanted to forget everything. Even for just one night. Numb and thoughtless. The alcohol burns, passing through her lips again. It was hot. So many people around her. Her fingers work to her shirt.

 

“Woo! Yeah, take it off!”

 

The top button comes undone.

 

Someone’s hands stop her.

 

“Irene, you need to stop.” It was the same man who kept yelling at everyone.

 

“It’s hot,” she whined, trying to shove him away and she nearly topples over. The room spins. Her hands return to her shirt, they fumble near the collar and travel down, trying to continue.

 

“Thank god, you’re finally here! Get her home already.”

 

“I got it. Show’s over, everybody move out of the way!”

 

That voice sounded familiar. Warm hands grab her wrists, putting her hands back down to her sides. They fix the two buttons she undid. Irene sways a little to the left, a little to the right. Her vision tries to focus on the face hovering near hers but all she could make out were their eyes. Dark and piercing.

 

“Ssseulgi? W-What are you doing here?”

 

The girl doesn’t answer her question. But Irene feels herself lifted to her feet, a hand holding her waist and her arm thrown across their shoulders. The sudden movement makes her a bit queasy. And her feet struggle to follow as she’s lead forward.

 

“Come on, we’re leaving.”

 

She groans and throws her head back, “But I wanna stay and drink some moreee.”

 

“You’ve had enough for one night.”

 

No, she needed more. She wanted more. Anything to keep her from feeling. From thinking. One more cup. One more bottle. Just one more.

 

“Seulgiiii,” she whines again.

 

“Irene?!”

 

They stop and Irene lifts her head, she knew that voice more than anyone’s.

 

“Minho?” she snickers. Of course, he would be here. Perfect, now he could see just how much of a wreck she was. “Just perfect!” Irene shouts, laughing some more.

 

“Oh my god, you’re wasted. I’ll take you--”

 

“I’ve got her.” Seulgi cuts in as Irene’s laughter dies. That’s right, Seulgi was here to help her. What was happening again? Irene could barely make sense of anything as she looks back and forth between the girl holding her and the boy standing in front of them.

 

Her ex-boyfriend and her fake girlfriend.

 

“Seulgi, I don’t have time to argue with you. Irene--”

 

“Great, then let me make this quick, Minho. Irene is my girlfriend now, not yours.” Her ears might have been deceiving her--hell, her head could have been the one imagining things too, but Irene swears there was anger in Seulgi’s voice. She was loud and stern. Irene struggled to look at her. The whole room was spinning and out of focus. All she could make out were those sharp unwavering eyes. “So I’ll take care of her. Enjoy the rest of the party with Krystal. We’re leaving.”

 

Her feet drag across the carpet. Soon, she feels the cool night breeze caress her cheeks and Irene looks back to where Minho still stood, watching worriedly. Why did he make that face? Why did he even care?

 

Why? Why was everything a mess?

 

A pair of arms lifts her into the truck, strapping her seatbelt in. The door shuts, the other one opens, the car rumbles. She rests her head against the window with only one thing on her mind.

 

“Did you see the look on his face?” she scoffs.

 

Irene starts to laugh.

 

Sad.

 

That’s what she was.

 

Her laughter dies and something falls in her lap. She touches her cheeks, streams of tears fell but she was too numb to feel them. Numb on the outside but still, very much hurt on the inside. What good was alcohol if it couldn’t take all the pain away?

 

She was a fool to think it could.

 

The world still spun and Irene begins to fall out of consciousness. Her eyes close and she drifts away, sobbing quietly as she falls asleep. The last thing she heard was Seulgi’s heavy sigh.

 

“You’re more trouble than I thought.”

 

--

 

a/n: updated! I was trying to have this done and ready last week but i’m a little slower than i thought lol still, at least it didn’t take me two months or longer to write up another chapter like I usually do! So i’m proud of that lol hopefully i can keep up this kind of pace. Anyways i hope you all enjoyed this update as the story starts to pick up some speed. I’ve hashed out an outline and it looks like this fic will definitely be longer than my initial thought of it being 7-8 chapters. I’m now thinking it may be twice as long so perhaps 14-16 chapters? We’ll see. Thank you to everyone who read, that includes silent readers as well. Thank you to everyone who subscribed and also thank you for all the lovely comments! I love reading them and they’re very motivational lol Congrats and thank you to our Red Velvet who worked very hard during Rookie era and set new records for themselves! Also, woohoo for Taeyeon's new album! Until my next update then, which will hopefully be very soon~