“Seungwan, why did you do this?”
“Seungwan, I thought you were on our side.”
“Seugwan-ah, I thought you loved me.”
“Seungwan-ah, I love you, but—”
Her name rang in her head and carried an aching feeling into her heart.
It became a burden, and she no longer wanted to live with having to hear it constantly.
Seungwan do this, Seungwan do that. She admitted her powers can be useful, but using it excessively took a toll on her body and mind. It wore her out.
She was expected to use it constantly, because people could never stop fighting and quarreling amongst themselves.
She could’ve stopped time and killed all of them in one night, but she didn’t do that.
At least, she didn’t think she would. Murder isn’t as simple as just killing something; it has consequences. Grave, grave consequences.
And it doesn’t solve the problems this world will always continue to have; it exacerbates them.
She sighed in exhaustion that day, leaning against the thick tree as she sat on the dirty ground, knees up and forearms resting on top of them.
Droplets of rain started to fall one by one slowly, then rapidly soon after. The clouds were different shades of that gloomy color grey.
The droplets beat down on her, crawling down her skin and seeping into her bloody and tattered clothes. Her blonde hair was dirty and disheveled. They were fighting relentlessly earlier, and she was tired. She felt dirty and disgusting. The rain didn’t really help either.
Her muscles ached and her eyelids threatened to close shut and never open again until she got the rest she needed.
She was truly getting tired of living this life. There was no wonder Aera went insane.
“I think the area’s clear. Let’s keep moving.”
She looked up to see Jinheung, a young man now and soon to be king, holding his hand out. He was dressed in heavy blue armor that looked like it would fall apart any minute.
Her silver eyes glared at him and she then looked back down to stare at the ground.
“I’m tired,” she replied, slumping her shoulders.
“We both know you have more stamina than me. If I can keep moving, then so can you,” said Jinheung, his hand still out. “Now let’s go. Madam Son and the others are waiting.”
Seungwan, after sighing heavily, took his hand and stood up. “Fine, but you have to find food later.”
Jinheung chuckled with a deep voice. “Whatever keeps you moving.”
They kept running and running without knowing clearly what would happen.
Nothing, nothing could’ve prepared them for what took place.
They couldn’t foresee Yeongweol’s gruesome and bloody death after they reached the palace. Blades and arrows alike rushed and pierced into her body. Blood splattered and then seeped out of her as she laid on the ground, writhing in pain with screams sounding through the gnashing of her teeth.
Seungwan tried her best, her absolute hardest to heal her, but blue particles were useless when Yeongweol didn’t even want to be healed.
She wanted to die.
Seungwan even grew powerful enough to heal the most fatal of wounds, but Yeongweol no longer had any desire to live as she was already on the brink of death. She died from injuries that could’ve been healed and Seungwan had never felt so useless in her life.
Her comrades were watching her, and she felt like she couldn’t do anything.
“My time is up, Seungwan-ah. I’ve lived long enough,”
She accepted it and listened to her mother’s last words carefully. She watched with an unusual calm as her mother spat out blood, struggling to speak. When the light in Yeongweol’s eyes faded, so did Seungwan’s.
Nobody expected her to react the way she did soon after.
She went on a rampage that night and did not bother to pause time; she wanted to see the agony on their faces after what they had done before to her village, and to her mother.
Her powers were on full display as she cut through the flesh and bones of her enemies mercilessly, and barely without any thought. Blue particles flew and scattered everywhere across the area.
Life had been cruel, oh yes indeed, but what she did that night was barbaric, inhuman, and she lost herself momentarily while being trapped inside the hate she harbored for this world.
It took Miss Hwang quite a while to calm down the furious girl, and to remind her that though the world is an ugly, cruel place, there is beauty in all its crooks and crevices.
Seungwan could see the tears and pain reflected in Miss Hwang’s eyes as she spoke her wisdom.
The older woman, too, was in pain and was beyond angry, but was doing a far better job at suppressing it.
Seungwan didn’t feel much of anything after that. Before her mother’s death, there was already an emptiness following her around.
But, after that, the emptiness seeped its way into her. She was lost more than ever, but continued to smile anyway.
There was a long lifetime ahead of her, a kingdom that still needed her, and people who relied on her. She couldn’t mourn over her mother forever.
And now Seungwan is here, in the same world that has changed far too much right before her eyes. Her mother practically begged her to travel to this timeline before, but Seungwan had far more to do.
Seeking refuge in a more peaceful time would no doubt in her mind be cowardly and pathetic.
It was her mother’s dying wish, so Seungwan understands how important it was, but she doesn’t understand why her mother was so adamant on her traveling all the way here.
“I want you to be happy,” is what her mother said, but Seungwan knows there is no way she can be happy after all that has happened to her.
She doesn’t deserve happiness. No, not when she’s taken it from so many.
Seungwan thinks she’s paying for it now; for every soul she’s crushed and killed because for as long as she can remember, all she’s been involved in is war and conflict.
And it wasn’t just Korean wars in which she had to intervene. Western wars caused such a ruckus and Wisps over there “desperately” needed her help.
She had never seen so much gunfire and smoke in her entire life. The screams and shouts of soldiers and citizens alike practically drove her insane.
Her reckless human emotions and Wisp rationale were in a constant battle as a result of this.
But her life hasn’t just been full of fighting. She met good and kind people, traveled to beautiful places, and had brief moments that kept her standing on her feet.
Life can be beautiful, yes, but she can’t help but feel like she doesn’t deserve the beauty of it.
She constantly feels this aching, and almost intolerable pain in her heart.
Sometimes it comes in waves, or spikes, and then it goes away before she can even tell what kind of sadness it is.
It could be guilt, grief, longing, or nostalgia.
Whatever it is, she’s tired of it. Her heart grows weary each year and she’s convinced a piece of it is missing; what other way to explain this void that pleads to be filled up?
The only other explanation she can come up with is that karma is now catching up to her. Even though she’s not ready to face the rest of the consequences of her actions, she’s already accepted that it is something she’ll have to face for the rest of her life.
Yeongweol’s very last words were those. It confused Seungwan because, who is Joohyun and what does she have to do with anything? She met many people back then but can’t remember ever having met a “Joohyun.”
She held off on trying to find whoever this Joohyun person was. After all, this person could be anywhere and she took the time to travel to other countries before landing in South Korea again, as a university student.
Miss Hwang is still residing in Canada and she’ll be arriving shortly so for right now, Seungwan’s living with somebody who insisted that he should stay in Korea no matter what.
“Hey hey wake up!” the chipper voice of a male calls her.
Seungwan groans and pulls the white blanket over her head.
“You’re going to be late! Get up!”
“I don’t want to,” Seungwan mumbles in response, but Jinheung keeps shaking her anyway.
When she doesn’t budge, he huffs in frustration. He grabs her blanket and roughly pulls the blanket off, causing her to fall off the bed with a loud yelp.
“Jinheung I’m gonna kill you!” she shouts after she tumbles to the wooden floor.
“I already ate so I’ll go ahead of you,” he tells her before walking out of the room.
Seungwan, after a few seconds, sits up with a quiet groan. She’s not totally enthusiastic about having to create new identities here and then. Miss Hwang suggested she use the name “Wendy”, so she went along with it. At this point she doesn’t really know if the names chosen by the older woman even mean anything.
She also can’t make very many friends since she’ll end up “disappearing” anyway.
Her only friend is Jinheung just because other Wisps in this era are unbearable to be around.
Plus, Jinheung is practically family. The boy, who stopped aging at twenty years old, has been with her since he was four. It’s still funny to her that after he became king long ago, she had to serve as his guard. He kept insisting and practically forced her to.
She gets up to walk over to the bathroom. Their apartment isn’t anything extravagant, but it’s nice enough for the both of them to live comfortably.
And she’s blessed that there are two bathrooms because sharing one with someone else, especially Jinheung, would be gross.
She looks at herself in the mirror. Her silver eyes are covered by a natural dark brown and her loose wavy hair is, well, also brown.
Her hair color barely takes effort to change, but her eyes are a different story. Jinheung told her the silver would sometimes overtake the brown.
Lucky for him. His eyes are hazel and seem natural enough to humans.
Even to this day, she has trouble hiding her silver eyes, but it’s not troublesome to the point the color would appear randomly.
She sighs and grabs her red toothbrush off to the side of the sink.
She’s dressed in her black jeans and white shirt with a light blue jacket over. A black backpack is situated on her back and her brown hair is pulled up into a bun with stray hairs falling down her face.
Even though she’d prefer to go out without a jacket on, it’d be strange to see a girl wearing just a shirt out in such cold weather.
She smiles as she walks into the building, being greeted by the chattering of people and the faint smell of coffee.
Well, even if she is tired of school, she’s glad she doesn’t have to fight so much anymore. One peaceful repetitive life is better than a chaotic one.
She looks down at her schedule and tilts her head to the side with furrowed eyebrows.
Now where is her class?
She looks up and sees a girl ahead of her who seems to be in a rush, but she’ll have to test her luck today.
“Hey, excuse me,” Seungwan says as she walks closer to the girl.
“Oh, yes?” the girl stops to reply, giving out a friendly and bright smile. She looks younger than most university students with her loose bangs and dark hair. Her smile also has a hint of mischievousness under it.
“Could you help me with directions? I’m kinda new here,” Seungwan states with a friendly smile.
The girl’s expression falters and she seems hesitant for a moment, but she then breaks out into a grin.
The whole class seems to lo